I'm So Tired Of Fake Hair

[LdyKamz]

Girl... there are some bold and stupid people who have posted such things on this board so I kinda don't blame you

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

But we stay wanting to wear their hair...that's an oxymoron.

Who cares? Most of the American born Indians I meet stay culturally misappropriating black culture *shrugs*.

Sidenote: I've never worn a weave or wig and have only used box braids a few times in the past. I just don't care what other people do. I realize it's better use of my energy to live true to my own values Then to waste it talking about complexes with hair. I've had more folks ask for help going natural/asking for advice by doing me rather than judging their process/journey.

 

[Evolving78]

Random but last weekend I had my bf driving me around to run errands and we unexpectedly stopped by his cousin's house since we were in the neighborhood. She came to the door I'm cute house clothes and light make up, offered us beverages in her extremely clean and neat sitting area, then took me out to the back so I could meet the dogs. The dogs were in their "kennel" that was really like a mini living room. I felt less guilty about them being locked up . I was like this the entire time. I thought to myself, liftedup you gotta do better!

Always be ready! lol I just had a conversation with my mom about that.

 

[sgold04]

ITA. Now that I professionally bleached my hair, I can't do box braids or even think about weaves.

Im dyeing my hair next week, any tips and/or issues you've experienced? There will be some bleach involved.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Im dyeing my hair next week, any tips and/or issues you've experienced? There will be some bleach involved.

Make sure you or your colorist uses Olaplex during the lightening process. Don't go too drastically light in one session. My first wash day after getting my hair lightened was a hard protein treatment ( Aphogee's 2 step) to make sure the integrity of my hair was solid. I also did a light/medium protein treatment before getting my hair lightened ( I have fine hair). Between my colorist's superior skills and my diligent haircare routine, I'm ombré blonde with zero change to my hair texture and minimal to zero breakage.

I also bought the salon sized Olaplex step 1 and 2 bottles off Amazon and do the treatment every wash day.

 

[krissyhair]

Lol! Why do you say that? I'm very interested in other bw's experience with Indian women when it comes to the topic of beauty. I haven't seen/experienced anything noteworthy.

My experience with Indian girlfriends is that they love love love to just talk and be silly and share funny stories, beauty tips, talk about all kinds of hair. Just easy to relate to, fun and feminine. The type of qualities you'd look for in any female friend.

 

[Honey Bee]

I bet you won't. Old habits die hard .
I'm just as vain as I was in the city if not worse. Actually I'm worse now
The main difference here is that women appreciate me more. in NYC it was mainly only men who paid attention to me or at least did so verbally. I'm not fashionable enough to impress NYC women. Here, women get excited too .

Nah, this ain't my first trip to farm country. I've lived in rural America before and it doesn't serve my interests to stand out in that way.
My goal isn't to make other women hostile. That's not the kind of attention I'm looking for.

I've lived in so many different settings that I sorta have a method- I tend to recalibrate my everyday look to about one point above the local median. So, better than they're used to seeing, but not too much. It didn't work in Amsterdam (bc those women did barely nothing, white, black, or otherwise lol), but people just assumed i was French and thus extra.

 

[Honey Bee]

I have never worn weave, wig, nor beat my face. My hair has been natural since '95, and the most makeup I put on is very thin eyeliner (which I forget to apply most of the time) and lip stick/gloss. I am very "what you see is what you get" because that is what I want to attract. I could never understand how women could do all of that 'extra' and not feel fake. I would absolutely hate myself in it. I wouldn't feel like me.

It all reminds me of a powerful pic I saw of a painted on white-face (mask) being peeled from a black woman's face; and a quote "Vogue on the outside; vague on the inside".

*posted on a board dedicated to self beautification*

 

[brownb83]

*posted on a board dedicated to self beautification*

Yeah i understand the op and her pov. But how did makeup get involved? lol
how sway?

Makeup is so feminine and makes me look %100 better.

I want to look my best and I don't care what it takes. Life is too short.

 

[Honey Bee]

Makeup is so feminine and makes me look %100 better.

I want to look my best and I don't care what it takes. Life is too short.

Girl, yes!

Although, I can't quite get to "100% better." It's a work in progress. (See: my travails in the make up random thoughts thread lol)

 

[tapioca_pudding]

The thing I hate about conversations surrounding weave and makeup is that they're always centered around extremes. Like you can only either be the woman who wears a natural bun erry day w/ carmex on her lips, or your other option is the woman who wears the 30 inch silky and face beat to the gawds. It's like no one acknowledges that there's a huge gaping range between either of those options.

Makeup enhances just like styled hair enhances just like groomed brows enhance just like manicured nails enhance just like perfume enhances just like facials enhance just like tailored clothing enhances just like jewelry enhances just like straight teeth enhance just like any and everything enhances. None of it is necessary for survival but all these things enhance ones appearance. Inside and outside of the home. It's really not that complicated.

Never been a fan of weave, had a sew in once and took it out w/in a week just because I missed my hair. I think it's one thing to wear natural looking weaves occasionally as a protective style or to get through a stressful time in life (newborn, etc). However it's quite another when it's your go-to choice and you feel unattractive without it etc. That's concerning, imo.

 

[MsSanz92]

And this is why I'm challenging myself to rock my natural hair for the remainder of the year. I might opt for a wig for my birthday in August, but I won't be wearing it for weeks and months at a time as I usually do. Most likely I will probably only wear it for a week or so.

I'm a point in my life where I had an epiphany and realized that I spent so much money on fake hair, when I could be truly investing that money in products and tools that will allow me to grow the hair that I want. Protective styling can be helpful for retaining length, but i think it's time for me to lay off of them and figure out how to grow my hair without them. I agree, a lot of Black women use fake hair as a crutch because they don't like and/or ashamed of their natural hair, as well as don't know how to or don't want to take the time to get to know how to manage their natural hair so that it flourishes.

 

[Honey Bee]

And this is why I'm challenging myself to rock my natural hair for the remainder of the year. I might opt for a wig for my birthday in August, but I won't be wearing it for weeks and months at a time as I usually do. Most likely I will probably only wear it for a week or so.

I'm a point in my life where I had an epiphany and realized that I spent so much money on fake hair, when I could be truly investing that money in products and tools that will allow me to grow the hair that I want. Protective styling can be helpful for retaining length, but i think it's time for me to lay off of them and figure out how to grow my hair without them. I agree, a lot of Black women use fake hair as a crutch because they don't like and/or ashamed of their natural hair, as well as don't know how to or don't want to take the time to get to know how to manage their natural hair so that it flourishes.

Re money spent on fake hair. Girl, now you preaching. I just bought two forty dollar wigs and that mess hurt. my. heart. Meanwhile, I also bought $100 worth of crochet hair that will easily last me two years, likely longer, including doing other heads. I felt great about that.

 

[krissyhair]

*posted on a board dedicated to self beautification*

But for her that is beauty. We share all the tips from extra to basic and pick what suits us.

 

[Honey Bee]

But for her that is beauty. We share all the tips from extra to basic and pick what suits us.

Did you read the whole comment? How is this a part of civil discourse?

. I could never understand how women could do all of that 'extra' and not feel fake. I would absolutely hate myself in it. I wouldn't feel like me.

It all reminds me of a powerful pic I saw of a painted on white-face (mask) being peeled from a black woman's face; and a quote "Vogue on the outside; vague on the inside".

This thread has a nice vibe going. I thought the Great Make up Wars of LHCF were over. Let's try to keep it cute.

 

[yodie]

@Honey Bee, just PM'd you.

 

[nothidden]

But for her that is beauty. We share all the tips from extra to basic and pick what suits us.

Exactly.

Masks come in all varieties. The pic and quote weren't even about makeup but used as symbolism, and the msg is sooooo much deeper than that.

I rock natural everyday, and I don't get offended by black women/men who don't feel natural hair is attractive and have not one issue verbalizing it. Free speech. We are all welcome to our opinion, and magically life goes on.

 

[LdyKamz]

I think it's the judgment of it all. Maybe the pic and quote was symbolism but the posters statement specifically said how can women do the extra and not feel fake. Like honeybee said we got a nice vibe going in the thread and there's room for different opinions without the judgmental tone. But yeah I say let people do what they want. I don't care either way. And I don't wonder how someone can do more or less than me because to each her own.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

@honeybee what kind of crochets do you wear? Is there YouTube vid you can link that show the type you do?

 

[discodumpling]

I say do you....no matter how uncomfortable it looks to me! I thought I was obligated to wear a weave one time...it was the most uncomfortable and unnatural thing for ME! It felt like a heavy, hot, hair hat that I couldn't simply take off. I would need TOOLS to remove it. I'm a simple gal...i've always squirmed in the stylists chair thinking of all the things I could be accomplishing rather than sitting for hours with somebody playing in my hair; i'm not built for hours of installation and takedowns.
I also like the feel of air on my scalp , and water several times per week. Me and weave will never be friends.
I've done braids many times in my youth...but again the thought of sitting in someones chair for hours sends me right back in the shower to reset my wash n go! The fact that I won't have to touch my own hair for 3+ weeks is a big plus. That and the fact that braids leave me with access to my scalp...I can wash/rinse everyday if I wanted to and STILL feel air on my scalp.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Re money spent on fake hair. Girl, now you preaching. I just bought two forty dollar wigs and that mess hurt. my. heart. Meanwhile, I also bought $100 worth of crochet hair that will easily last me two years, likely longer, including doing other heads. I felt great about that.

What kind of hair are you using?

 

[SmilingElephant]

Is this what it's coming down to for black women? We have to rely on wigs and weaves to look presentable? A lot of us, including myself have had to grab a wig, for that very reason. We gotta rely on weave to work out, we gotta rely on weave to look decent for work, we don't have time to deal with our own hair..

OMG THANK YOU!

You do not need to have straight hair to look presentable for "Corporate America" anymore!

This is not the 90s or the 00s anymore. A slew of employers could not care less if you are natural or relaxed, as long as you look like "business" as I like to call it and it is moisturized and doesn't look like you just rolled out of bed with it.

I am honestly sick of the fake hair altogether. I don't wear it...I think...in my adult life...i have only had 3 instances where I've worn fake hair just to try it and I really didn't like it on me bc it looked so obvious.

I have friends that wear weaves religiously and are severely self conscious without it and it pisses me off! :rant: I tell them how silly it is for them to be ashamed of what's THEM. I love their natural hair! They have beautiful thick thick THICK natural hair!

I look at all the weaves and wigs and feel like many Black women are slaves of what happened in the past when we don't have to be that anymore.

That's why the Natural Hair movement started in the first place

I can see wearing weaves and wigs for special occasions or a special interview or something like that. But not every day of your life! That bothers me.

Stop hiding.

 

[Honey Bee]

@honeybee what kind of crochets do you wear? Is there YouTube vid you can link that show the type you do?

No, there's no yt vid. I sorta came up with my own method. But I'ma start a thread after this next set to share my technique. I want us all to slay.

What kind of hair are you using?

I got a bunch of Freetress deep twist and Brazilian braid. Also some straight hair that comes six bundles/ pk. Mostly Brazilian braid bc that's closest to my texture. I bought it from wigtypes.com, they always have a discount code.

 

[larry3344]

I understand what OP is saying. The dependence that BW on weave/wigs is real. To the point that we have groomed our young girls to expect to wear extensions for the rest of their lives couple that with bad hair practices and it can be quite sad what is out on the streets.

The natural/healthy hair movement has begun to swing the pendulum but LHCF and Youtube as well as social media are still little bubbles. However, like another poster has already poster has stated we have to be careful with extremes. Beautification should be celebrated amongst women not demonized, and adjustments made accordingly. Also, lead by example that always goes a longer way to change attitudes.

 

[MissNina]

Ima leave this here, but I can never believe some BW still don't know they arent getting extra points for that no makeup/weave life in 2017

I do depend on my weave Bc its not in any way convenient for me to be worrying about my hair 24/7. The only reason white ppl stay in their hair everyday is Bc they literally have to or will have bugs and stuff My glueless lacefront sew-in is sooooooo convenient & bomb. I intensely workout 4-6x/wk without issue & I can make it look great again in a few mins, plus enjoy life blonde worryfree. It was $500+ for the hair and install, looks like it is from my scalp, and has been posted on quite a few black hair IG pages. My stylist is worth every penny.

Even when I was wearing my hair out in middle school, girls thought it was a wig or weave anyway, so I learned then to totally do my hair for my convenience, period. I could care less if another BW thinks I'm hiding my hair or not. Don't hide yours & live life lit

 

[krissyhair]

I don't like seeing when the tracks give everyone the same heart-shaped head

 

[Mai Tai]

I've had a sew-in only twice in my life and both times it lasted for maybe a week before I darn near ripped it out. I have nothing against weave, I just strongly dislike these unrealistic stage wigs/weaves that normal everyday women are wearing.

I am currently transitioning to natural without the help of wigs, weave, or protective styling and I have been loving it. I still blow dry and flat iron after every wash and just slowly trim the relaxed hair about every 6-8 weeks. My hair stays fly and just as thick and sleek as it's always been and I live in humid assss Houston, TX.

Now...I refuse to give up my beat face and my false lashes and I'm on the same team as @Honey Bee. Even in the house, at minimum, I throw on some mascara, lip gloss or lipstick, powder and blush when I wake up. It's like a normal part of my grooming routine and my husband LOVES that I like to look good for him. He is a good man who works hard to make my life as convenient as possible so at the least I feel like he deserves for me to be arm candy even in the house.

 

[southerncitygirl]

I have no issue with wigs or weave if they are natural looking and one doesn't become dependent on them. I think you need care for your hair underneath which most women aren't doing. I hate the smell of musty dirty hair and smell it often with locs and weave/wig wearers. It is not protective styling issue it is complete insecurity. I am not anti-makeup either but you shouldn't look like Spike from the Gremlins or Gollum before and like Beyonce, Tika, Halle, or Gabrielle after. Makeup should enhance our natural beauty. I don't desire to look like a trans prostitute and no other woman should want that to be their aesthetic either.

Women need to remember men like mystery, they get bored with monotony, and love the thrill of a chase or pursuit. Don't ever let then catch you slippin'! If you marry a man that causes you to have to let your appearance to fall off because of lack $$$ or of time (unless there are small children and even this can be debateable) you have engaged in "struggle love"and you need to face the consequences. You can help who you love. I think couples wanting to look good for each other is a natural thing and it shouldn't take hours to achieve unless you want to. I agree with @honeybee and @Mai Tai

 

[Chrismiss]

Fascinating thread...in a good way. I've never worn fake hair but was considering braids for this summer. I came into this part of the forum tonight looking from braid info and fell up in this thread. I like that there is some dissonance surrounding this phenomenon. Collectively, we all know that there really is an unhealthy dependence on wigs and weaves among black women. Not to pull the "man" card but i seriously cant count the number of times a man has commented to me that he's happy that i dont wear fake hair.

Hair is such a weakness for us. If nothing else, this forum has really shown us that we can achieve healthy, beautiful, hair of our OWN with the proper care and practices. If i never saw another black woman in a wig or weave, that would be just fine with me. I dont know that ive ever seen anyone with one that looked remotely realistic or even good. The wigs in particular look the most ridiculous whether they are short or long. Well, Ive changed my mind about braids thanks to this thread.

 

[Destiny9109]

Smh at people in here still not getting the point