I'm not black, but I have impossible hair. Losing hope. Please help!

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livesoundtech

New Member
Thank you SO MUCH everyone! I didn't expect to get so many responses, but the advice has been awesome! I can't wait to start my new regimen. Hopefully I'll have positive results to share.

:)
 

Nice & Wavy

Well-Known Member
Thank you SO MUCH everyone! I didn't expect to get so many responses, but the advice has been awesome! I can't wait to start my new regimen. Hopefully I'll have positive results to share.

:)

:giveheart:...glad you are here!

You will have results....most definately!

Don't spend too much money....that can happen in a snap:lachen:
 

Crissi

New Member
Hey, thanks for the advice! Do you have any products you could recommend? Here is my routine:

- Herbal Essences moisturizing shampoo
- Herbal Essences moisturizing conditioner
- Biosilk serum in damp hair (ends only)
- let hair dry naturally, and brush only when dry
- if hair is sticky/greasy or if I am unable to brush, I wear it in a messy bun.
- if i AM able to brush it, I leave it down, or on a rare occasion, flat iron with Remington Wet 2 Straight flat iron.

Once weekly:

- Hair Mayonnaise deep conditioner
- Infusium 23 leave-in conditioner

Would you be able to recommend any products? Thank you all so much!

I would say that that sounds like ya lot of protein, i know that infusium is full of protein, some people (myself included) usually water it down. Maybe you should try elucence or aveda?
 

MyAngelEyez~C~U

Well-Known Member
If you have to use heat, try the FHI Platinum flatiron with FHI Hot Sauce heat protectant. both seems to help hair retain moisture versus drying hair during straightening. Also lots of ladies here love the Maxiglide (I've never tried hat one though). Get your hair back in good condition first, though.

Welcome to the board, and I applaud you for seeking knowledge here! I'm glad you are here!
 
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anon123

Well-Known Member
Hi and welcome!

I'm sure you've gotten lots of great advice. The only thing I want to offer is that you do not dismiss the "white" hair care forums. You might be under a misconception that you have hair that no white person has, and I don't think that is true. In fact, it sounds like certain problems you have are ones that few black women have and are more likely to be properly addressed on hair care forums with more white women. In particular, your extra oiliness. I don't know if it was made clear what the source of the oiliness was, the products you were using or your own scalp. Few women on this site have hair that is excessively oily because of the oils produced by their scalp. I'm actually trying to recall anyone saying this in the 8 months or so I've been chatting on this forum and I can't remember any such occurrence. Doesn't mean it didn't happen, just rare enough for me not to remember. Even if their scalp is oily, it doesn't seem to move down onto their hair and make their hair oily. So you have this problem (right?) and people may recommend clarifying shampoos to you. Most people on this board end up using clarifying shampoos because of excessive product build-up; that's where their oiliness comes from. Now it might not be immediately apparent that that difference could be important, but I think it might be. Harsh stripping agents on skin that is producing a lot of oil often has the effect of causing that skin to produce even more oil to try to compensate for the stripping effect of the cleanser. We see this in facial skin care.

All I am saying is that I think hair type really matters. It has in my experience. So while of course you will find a lot of great advice here, you might also get really good advice from someone with hair more like yours on other forums, and I don't want you to dismiss those resources.
 

GodsGrace

New Member
Welcome to the board livesoundtech, I hope you find what products work for your hair, these ladies are all here to help, good luck!
 

bravenewgirl87

New Member
Hi and Welcome Keri

Toss the Infusium, the mayo and the biosilk.

Clarify like the other ladies already mentioned to remove any buildup and get your hair to a clean slate to start the rebalancing process.

You need more moisture products. Things like Redken All soft, kenra moisturizing conditioner, joico moisture recovery, mop moisturizing conditioner etc....

You can also try co-washing with just conditioner instead of shampooing. Many of us here don't shampoo nearly as often as we used too and as a result, our hair has more moisture and is more managable but still clean.

Giovanni makes great products too. Many ladies including myself like the Giovanni smooth as silk line. It gives weightless moisture but still helps detangle the hair and control it.

I agree with everything except for the Giovanni leave-in. The jelly texture of it can sometimes cause hair to clump up. I personally endorse the MOP Extreme Moisture Treatment and the Extreme Protein. You mix the two together-3 tsp. of Extreme Moisture and 1 1/2 tsp. of Extreme Protein. Add half a teaspoon of honey to that mixture. Sit under the dryer for about 30 minutes, no more than that.
Follow up with the leave-in. To be honest: MOP products really only work well with other products in the line. You REALLY get the best results that way. I'm finding that out about most product line. As far was the greasiness, I might even recommend avoiding washing the ends of your hair and focusing on your scalp. Remember: Once you tilt your hair back to rinse out the shampoo, the lather has to go past your ends, too, so why bother to scrub them to death?

My favorite line of all time is Bumble and Bumble. I use MOP because its more economical, however nothing beats Bumble and Bumble. I've never used their shampoos (my fave is Oscar Blandi's poos) but they work pretty good with any other product from any other line. I would recommend the Coco De Creme Masque and the Alojoba conditioner. If that one is too heavy, I would recommend the Deeep conditioner. I really don't think you can go wrong with these products. You can even order the small sample sizes on the website now, so if you don't like them, you didn't waste too much money.
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
I'm sure this has been mentioned but I will reiterate: You need to deep condition with a plastic cap under a dryer. I think your hair feels dry because it's lacking moisture internally. Deep conditioning with heat will provide it with the moisture it lacks. (You may have to clarify first before you do this.) I would also suggest you get a shower filter so you're sure you're not using hard water. And then complete your wash with an apple cider vinegar (ACV) rinse (1/4 cup in 2 gallons of water. I usually add 20 drops of lavender essential oil and 20 drops of rosemary essential oil). The ACV will seal your hair's cuticle thus locking in moisture.

Since your hair has a tendency to get "greasy" perhaps you shouldn't apply anything else after that. I have 4B hair (tiny curls) and it is the driest hair of all because the curls make it hard for sebum to "flow" down the length of the hair, yet I don't use any products. I imagine if you wash your hair at least once a week with deep conditioning (and you may have to put it into plaits to make sure it doesn't tangle) and focus on cleaning your scalp really well, you may find that it doesn't feel as dry or as greasy.

I haven't read the other posts, but just thought I'd throw in another suggestion should you need it. But I hope you found one in the earlier posts.

One more thing--and welcome to the world of our hair--you may have to plait your hair every night to keep it from getting tangled up. (Because I do not use products on my hair, I keep it "moisturized" by sleeping in a plastic cap. We call that baggying. I think it encourages sebum production...but perhaps that might make your hair greasy again(?). If your hair combs easily when wet, then baggying might be the thing to do after plaiting your hair for the night. In the morning, you'd have an easy time styling due to the wetness from the baggy.)
 

Serenity_Peace

Genius never dies!
After giving it some thought, I think WEN may be the answer to all your troubles.

Shampoos contain harsh detergents. WEN doesn't contain sulfates or harsh detergents that damage your hair. It has a nice balance of oils and herbs, very nourishing and nurturing. Many women here have applauded this product and I highly recommend the entire system.

Clarify your hair prior to using to get the full benefits. ;)

http://www.wenhaircare.com/about_wen.php?pactvid=e4b9d9a4931387dcee4b5b1ee90c883a
 

alizwa

Member
I am sitting here cracking up!!! this poor chile thought she would come in here, post a whisper of a topic, actually it was a shout 'I'm not black, but'....you may not be black but we all know that that was enough for all of us (women of colour) to go....ohhh, now what does she want???? and now the poor girl has over 11 pages to pour over and decipher whats best for her.
Livesoundtech, welcome to the board, I am also a newbie, and as I'm sure your finding out, there is loads of information and it takes time to work it all out, and even though all the responses you have received here may lead to information overload, these women know there s#it. For the first time in my life, I lurvvve my hair, and just by having some patience, trying out differnt things (actually didnt take me much to find the majic mojo to make my hair sing, if you know what I mean) and especially from being on this forum, me and my hair have come to an understanding. I hope that the same happens to you.
Now, all we ask is that you dont take and run. We want to hear bout all your progress, what has worked for you and what hasnt. And yep, even while you are washing that mane, we dont mind if you come on board and tell us in minute detail exactly how you brushed, what you used, how it felt and so on.
So we shall be expecting a report in this forum by Sunday 5th October.
You didnt think all this information was for free did you........
 

likewtr4chklit

New Member
So this is what I've gathered:

Clarify & chelate with sulfate free shampoo or acv & baking soda mix
Shampoo with sulfate free moisturizing poo
DC with cap under dryer
Apply light but moisturing leave-in and air dry or rollerset

Then for maintenace btwn washes spray with light moisturinng leave in and plait at night to stop tangles, and sleep with satin scarf or on satin pillow case.

Sounds like a plan, I hope it works out for you hun....keep us posted.
 

lovenharmony

ET / OT Bonafide Member
Hi Keri, and welcome! Many of the ladies here have already given you great advice, so I will just say try not to go overboard with purchasing different hair products! I know the choices can be overwhelming as a newbie and the excitement of it all can have you end up becoming a PJ (product junkie) real quick! Since you like the organic stuff, I'd look at those products first. Be sure to let us know of any improvements :yep:
 

Lavendar

Well-Known Member
Welcome to the board!!! I guess you have figured out that you definitely have a process of experimentation to go through before you find what actually will work to resolves the issues you are having. We all have encountered that at the beginning of our journey and it can be quite overwhelming. I would take it step-by-step and not try too many products at one time. If you experience any negative effects, it will be hard to know what to attribute it to. I definitely agree with eliminating the Infusium and any sulfate-based products you are using. I also agree that your scalp is probably over-producing oil for a reason. Perhaps your scalp is clogged or irritated by something you are using. Giovanni has a Tea Tree oil shampoo and conditioner that may help rid you of some of the oil and balance your oil production. I would definitely follow up with a deep conditioner that doesn't have a lot of harsh chemicals or pore cloggers; conditioners like Kenra MC or Elucence MB are great. Applying unrefined coconut oil to your hair only overnight before washing would be great to keep your hair moisturized (it should be braided as well). Also lightly applying it to your ends should help as well. I sure hope you find all the solutions to your hair issues. It may get frustrating, but whatever you do, don't give up! Blessings!
 

BeetleBug

Well-Known Member
How many newbies got this much support when they first joined? I'm just saying.

Anyway, Welcome to the Board!
 

livesoundtech

New Member
Thank you soooo much, everyone!

I'm almost positive that my hair is oily because of the products I use. I've started to cut them out... I only used so many products because I was terrified of having dry, straw-like hair (which I seem to have had since the day I was born). Clarifying shampoos usually made my hair even worse, so I avoided them.

I'm going to try clariying just to get all the build-up out. It turns out that I've been doing everything (literally everything) wrong! I'm so grateful to all of you who pointed that out to me. I was cowashing with conditioners that left my hair sticky, brushing my hair too much and too violently, and scrubbing it with clarifying conditioners because of the stickiness.

I'm going to try a new regimen as soon as I clarify a few times and get my hair back to a clean, natural state.

And yes, I will DEFINITELY be posting pictures and updates. Thank you so much for all of your responses! I can't believe so many people are out there with such great ideas. I'm used to having hairdressers give up on me. A "wash and style" would take over 2 hours because they couldn't handle my hair. I'm very confident that with all of your advice, I'll be able to find something that works for me. Thank you sooo much.

One last question: :ohwell: Where on this forum is the appropriate place to post pictures of your progress?

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!
 

honeisos

Well-Known Member
welcome newbie ! you will find tons of help here ...
comb the boards .... use the search engine ... and dont be afraid to ask us any hair question !
 

Nefertiti0906

Well-Known Member
How many newbies got this much support when they first joined? I'm just saying.:look:

It's because she's "not black" (per the post title), duh!

Welcome livesoundtech, hope you enjoy the boards! :yep:

ETA: There's no malicious intent behind this post, just telling it like it is :)
 

january noir

Sunny On a Cloudy Day
How many newbies got this much support when they first joined? I'm just saying.:look:
:rolleyes:
THANK YOU

How many newbies got this much support when they first joined? I'm just saying.

Anyway, Welcome to the Board!

It's because of the provocative (around here that is) title of her thread which is what made me open the thread to take a look.

The OP has been educated that she is a woman of color (mixed race) whether she knew before or not. :ohwell: Anyhoo, that's my take on it.
 

Golden

New Member
How many newbies got this much support when they first joined? I'm just saying.

Anyway, Welcome to the Board!


I know, I'm pretty shocked people were so positive given the whole 'I'm not black but my hair is impossible' like yours (then again this isn't the OT forum.

Anyways, welcome livesoundtech. :)
 

msdeevee

Well-Known Member
Couldn't read the whole thread , so sorry if I'm being redundant ....but have you tried a site like Mixedchicks or naturally curly besides this one?

Once you get a good routine down for your hair this site will help you to grow it out to your goal length with lots of great suggestions but I think on those other sites you may find a few more people exactly like you with hair that everyone thinks should be bone straight and silky but's it not and they didn't know what to do either.

Please don't take that like you're not welcome here because you are, very much so.
 

livesoundtech

New Member
It's because of the provocative (around here that is) title of her thread which is what made me open the thread to take a look.

The OP has been educated that she is a woman of color (mixed race) whether she knew before or not. :ohwell: Anyhoo, that's my take on it.

Definitely. And I really didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm used to being the "white girl" in a very ethnically diverse family. The man I'm marrying is Indian and Colombian. My family is from Sicily, which in itself is a very diverse place. I was always "the white girl" in my school, family, and social circle. This site was actually recommended to me by someone (she doesn't use the site, but she came across it in a search). I'm under no circumstances the kind of person who has problems with anyone... I am grateful for all the help I've gotten here so far, and I'm really sorry if anyone took the title of the post in an offensive way. I don't know why I felt the need to introduce myself in that way, but I didn't mean it in a negative way. I'm just used to having my skin color drawn to my attention constantly in my social circle, so I felt like perhaps it must be something "important". I do consider myself biracial due to my ethnic background, but regardless, we are all women who are here on this forum for the same reasons, and regardless of what we look like, we're all here to help and to give help to others who need it.

I promise to think more about the wording of my next topic! In the meantime, thank you all for being so considerate and accepting. The advice I've received has been overwhelming... I'm already turning into a product junkie!

:lick:

I'll post updates (under a new title!) within a week or so. Thank you again!
 

livesoundtech

New Member
OMG I think I see where you're all coming from. I didn't mean that my hair is impossible "like everyone else's" because of a racial thing! I actually ran out of space in my title and had to condense it. My original intent was this:

- I'm not a woman of color but I hope it's alright that I'm seeking advice here.
- My hair is impossible to handle and I need help!

Yeah, now I see what you mean. I definitely worded that wrong, and again, I'm really sorry.
 

Nefertiti0906

Well-Known Member
Definitely. And I really didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm used to being the "white girl" in a very ethnically diverse family. The man I'm marrying is Indian and Colombian. My family is from Sicily, which in itself is a very diverse place. I was always "the white girl" in my school, family, and social circle. This site was actually recommended to me by someone (she doesn't use the site, but she came across it in a search). I'm under no circumstances the kind of person who has problems with anyone... I am grateful for all the help I've gotten here so far, and I'm really sorry if anyone took the title of the post in an offensive way. I don't know why I felt the need to introduce myself in that way, but I didn't mean it in a negative way. I'm just used to having my skin color drawn to my attention constantly in my social circle, so I felt like perhaps it must be something "important". I do consider myself biracial due to my ethnic background, but regardless, we are all women who are here on this forum for the same reasons, and regardless of what we look like, we're all here to help and to give help to others who need it.

I promise to think more about the wording of my next topic! In the meantime, thank you all for being so considerate and accepting. The advice I've received has been overwhelming... I'm already turning into a product junkie!

:lick:

I'll post updates (under a new title!) within a week or so. Thank you again!

Oh you didn't have to explain yourself, even though I appreciate it :yep:.

I hope you don't think my post was about you. I was pointing out how hypocritical this board could be at times. Some newbies who post for advice sometimes hardly get any advice or a glance at their post, and they self-identify as black. However, (based of your post topic) most members probably assumed you were white and responded with a quickness, hence the 3 pages I see so far...

But seriously welcome!! :) I tell you buying hair products is truly addictive :nono:
 
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