a transitioner wanting to relax again

marygrove013

New Member
I have been transitioning for almost 2 years now (2-4 inches of relaxed ends only)...I am pondering relaxing again...I guess the main reasons I stopped getting relaxers are the following: improper application by stylist, thinning hair, dry hair, problem scalp (dandruff), and breakage...I feel that I have more knowledge about hair care thanks to my cousin (kking) & the ladies at the forum...so, what do you all think would be the best relaxer for me....I go to the dermatalogist, so I know she'll be against me getting a relaxer (she doesn't think chemicals are good for the hair), but I'm going to ask her what she thinks the best chemical for me would be, as well...I look forward to any comments/suggetions...they would be greatly appreciated...Also, if I do get a relaxer, I asked my cousin to do it, because she does her own & her hair looks great & is healthy + I trust her...
 

aminata

Well-Known Member
I've been transitioning for several months now and sometimes I think about going back. But, I remember why I chose to transition.

I've never had a stylist give me a bad relaxer--however, my hair gets dry and breaks off if I don't see the stylist every week or every other week. For me its maintaining the relaxed hair that's difficult on my own and right now I don't have the finances to pay someone to do my hair.

I think you should reconsider since it's been two years. Even if you have a great experience--the upkeep may be the downfall of your hair. If you want to wear you hair straight flat irons can give the relaxed look.

That's my opinion. Good luck with your decision and if you decide to relax there are many post on this board discussing the benefits of mixing olive oil or conditioner with the relaxer so its not as damaging.
 

Cheleigh

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry, but I doubt that your dermatologist will be able to suggest a "better chemical" for you to use if she believes that the chemicals that relax are bad for your hair. The inherent chemicals used to straighten the hair don't have better or worse properties--they all do the same thing.

I'm sure a relaxers' other ingredients will make some better than others overall. From the posts here, I see lots of women using Affirm, Phyto (do a search) and maintain good looking hair. I used relaxers for decades with minimal hair loss, so I know it can be done. I never really solved the drying, dandruff, scalp burns, and hair thinning issues though. I'll let the relaxed girls make the suggestions.

If I were you, I'd cut off the relaxed ends, see how you like playing with the versatility of your natural hair, and after a while if it doesn't work for you, just get a virgin relaxer and start afresh with a new relaxed hair regimen.
 

hopeful

Well-Known Member
Cheleigh said:
I'm sorry, but I doubt that your dermatologist will be able to suggest a "better chemical" for you to use if she believes that the chemicals that relax are bad for your hair. The inherent chemicals used to straighten the hair don't have better or worse properties--they all do the same thing.

I'm sure a relaxers' other ingredients will make some better than others overall. From the posts here, I see lots of women using Affirm, Phyto (do a search) and maintain good looking hair. I used relaxers for decades with minimal hair loss, so I know it can be done. I never really solved the drying, dandruff, scalp burns, and hair thinning issues though. I'll let the relaxed girls make the suggestions.

If I were you, I'd cut off the relaxed ends, see how you like playing with the versatility of your natural hair, and after a while if it doesn't work for you, just get a virgin relaxer and start afresh with a new relaxed hair regimen.

ITA. So glad I saw this post before writing because I was pretty much going to say the same thing. I was natural for 5 1/2 months and just recently texturized two days ago and I love it. I do agree that the knowledge gained from LHCF will put you in a much better position should you decide to relax. I did things this time that I had never done before, like completely relaxing the front portion first, rinsing, neutralizing, etc., then doing the back portion. It was great not having to rush through my entire head at once. I based my scalp really well. I also added an extra step by deep conditioning with the ORS Replinishing pak, as well as using Salerm 21 as a leave in. I also chose Soft & Beautiful no-lye because I knew for sure that my hair and scalp could not tolerate lye, plus I'd read several posts raving about the Soft & Beautiful kit. I felt no burning or tingling at all. All that said, you've come so close. Being fully natural is one of the most wonderful experiences in the world. You might as well enjoy the full experience. You will also get to really "know" your hair better and that will help you with making better decisions for your hair. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best.
 

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I think that this site is wonderful. You can educate yourself and get to the point where you are comfortable with your descion to relax or stay natural. Don't feel guilty for your choice. We will support you no matter what! :thumbsup:
 

EssentialGrowth

New Member
hopeful said:
ITA. So glad I saw this post before writing because I was pretty much going to say the same thing. I was natural for 5 1/2 months and just recently texturized two days ago and I love it. I do agree that the knowledge gained from LHCF will put you in a much better position should you decide to relax. I did things this time that I had never done before, like completely relaxing the front portion first, rinsing, neutralizing, etc., then doing the back portion. It was great not having to rush through my entire head at once. I based my scalp really well. I also added an extra step by deep conditioning with the ORS Replinishing pak, as well as using Salerm 21 as a leave in. I also chose Soft & Beautiful no-lye because I knew for sure that my hair and scalp could not tolerate lye, plus I'd read several posts raving about the Soft & Beautiful kit. I felt no burning or tingling at all. All that said, you've come so close. Being fully natural is one of the most wonderful experiences in the world. You might as well enjoy the full experience. You will also get to really "know" your hair better and that will help you with making better decisions for your hair. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best.


Hopeful,
Thanks for being an inspiration. I am also a 4a/b and am about 10 weeks post relaxer and just love my new growth more so than my relaxed ends. I plan on transitioning and agree that being natural is the most beautiful thing ever. However, I have a question: do you think it is possible to have 4a/b natural waist length hair? Thats my goal, and I am hoping it can be eventuall acheived, even if it takes 3 or more years!

Thanks for sharing! :kiss:
 

caligirl

Well-Known Member
@EssentialGrowth:

Check out Nay's album under the member list. She's has waist length natural 4a hair.
 

lovechic

Active Member
EssentialGrowth said:
Hopeful,
I have a question: do you think it is possible to have 4a/b natural waist length hair? Thats my goal, and I am hoping it can be eventuall acheived, even if it takes 3 or more years!

Thanks for sharing! :kiss:
Yes, Nay has waist length hair, Jessy has 4a/b natural brastrap length hair!
 

hopeful

Well-Known Member
EssentialGrowth said:
Hopeful,
Thanks for being an inspiration. I am also a 4a/b and am about 10 weeks post relaxer and just love my new growth more so than my relaxed ends. I plan on transitioning and agree that being natural is the most beautiful thing ever. However, I have a question: do you think it is possible to have 4a/b natural waist length hair? Thats my goal, and I am hoping it can be eventuall acheived, even if it takes 3 or more years!

Thanks for sharing! :kiss:

Thanks for the kind words EssentialGrowth. Yes I believe and know we 4a/b girls can have waist length hair! You might also want to check out these ladies albums too: Maestradiva77 (just past brastrap I think), Irresistible (she's 3c but an inspiration never the less), Chicoro (waist length, although I'm not sure of her hair type) and babyblue (appears to be well past brastrap to me). Really get to know your hair, baby it and give it what it needs. I'm at the beginning of my journey too and if I had healthy shoulder-length hair I think I would be very happy. For the first time, since joining LHCF, I believe it is possible. Keep thinking positive and good luck.:)
 
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jainygirl

New Member
I made a post like this just last year. The only difference was that I had already touched my hair up. First I was happy then I was sad because I realized I wasted 14 weeks of transitioning. Then in September I was like, "girl why you playing games??? :lol: ". The funny thing is that when I finally buckled down to doing it that my transition only lasted 11 weeks then snip, snip :grin:. Let us know what happens for sure. I think your derm gave great advice though. Good luck. -- jainygirl
 

Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Cheleigh said:
If I were you, I'd cut off the relaxed ends, see how you like playing with the versatility of your natural hair, and after a while if it doesn't work for you, just get a virgin relaxer and start afresh with a new relaxed hair regimen.
I totally agree with this!
 
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