Why do YOU relax your hair?

qchelle

qchelle

Well-Known Member
My mom relaxed my hair when I was 4. I didn't ask her for it; I never cried when she combed it or anything...like I honestly can't relate to people saying they hated getting their hair done lol...I wasn't tender headed at all. When I got touch-ups, I never burned either.

I continued to relax my hair until I was 20 because that's just what was supposed to be done. Relaxing to me, back then, would be the equivalent of me conditioning my hair now. I had to do it. However, I've never liked straight hair...especially on me. My hair is so thin. I hate that fresh perm look AND smell...when you sweat? It always smelled like...disease to me lol. But I never knew I had a choice. I also stopped because I prefer the versatility of natural/highly textured hair...and the look.

I'm now 6 months into my transition to natural. I can't wait! :)

ETA: good luck with your paper OP!
 
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chrisanddonniesmommy

chrisanddonniesmommy

New Member
LaFemmeNaturelle said:
Well this isn't a research paper so data is not really necessary and I'm not sure its even allowed. If this was for a soc course, I would do that for sure but this is for English. My task is only to identify a problem and recommend a solution. I'm only asking for experiences so I can cite proof instead of just generalizing or assuming why women relax.

I am doing independent research next semester and it will deal with natural hair and relaxed hair so I will definitely create a questionnaire and post it on the forum.

Thanks for your suggestion and your participation!
Click to expand...

No problem!
 
chasturner84

chasturner84

Well-Known Member
I've been relaxed since I was 14 (so 12 years) but I was not allowed to have relaxed hair until then. I was tired of being burned while getting my hair pressed (and I had to get my hair pressed for church every Sunday) so after a lot of begging, my mom caved. I continue to relax my hair because I like the straighter look without having to constantly press and flat iron.
 
E

explosiva9

Active Member
My mom relaxed my hair when I was 4 because I have a lot of hair and it was super long. It became a hassle so she straightened it. I continued to relax out of habit. This yr I bc'd and after 9 mths natural, I couldn't do it anymore. I lost more hair natural than relaxed. I'm tenderheaded and detangling was a pain. I tried twists, cornrows, weaving, braidouts, twistouts, etc. Basically every single hairstyle recommended and quite frankly I hated how I looked in all of them. For me it wasn't about what others thought because everyone loved my hair natural. I got a lot of compliments. But I wasn't comfortable and I didn't feel it worked for me. So now I am back to being relaxed. I thought going back would upset me but I am very satisfied with the results. Maybe when I am older I will try going natural again but for right now, relaxed is what works for me.
 
NYAmicas

NYAmicas

Seeker
LaFemmeNaturelle said:
So why did you relax and why do you continue to relax? Or why did you relax and why did you stop relaxing?
Click to expand...

I relaxed as a teen after asking my mother plenty of times because I preferred the look and wasnt happy with my natural hair.


I continue to relax because my hair is thick enough as it is being relaxed and I def dont have the time or patience to work with it as a natural. Plus I really like the straight look on me.
 
NJoy

NJoy

Here I grow again!
My hair was first relaxed around age 11 because my mom had a hard time dealing with the thickness. I continued for ease of handling and I do prefer sleeker styles without the type of reversion that turned my flat ironed or curled hair into a poof. I do like full-looking hair but not poofy hair on me. And, most importantly, I'm hair lazy and could not constantly flat iron my natural thickness just to acheive a look.
 
S

~Sparklingflame~

New Member
I do it b/c this go round is the relaxed phase. Next will be the short hair phase, then the natural phase. After that I'll relax again.

Sent from my Droid using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
CB1731

CB1731

Well-Known Member
I got my first relaxer when I was around 10 years old. I used to have very thick and long hair. I could barely hold in a ponytail with 2 hands. My mom didn't know how to handle it either. I continue to relax because it's easy and even if I did go natural,which I keep going back and forth on, I'd still wear my hair straight most of the time.
 
Qtee

Qtee

Member
My mom relaxed my hair @ 11yrs old..my mom was relaxed and I was having my hair pressed regularly (which I hated)...I had alot of hair and it was thick ..and I was tenderheaded..so I hated getting my hair done..I wanted a perm..Now my mother and I are both natural..(she has beautiful locs)
 
xmasbaby78

xmasbaby78

Well-Known Member
I got my first relaxer when was 11 because my mom was tired of pressing my hair and I was tired of her burning me...."OUCH"

:hiya: Hello everyone, I'm xmasbaby78 and YES, I am addicted to the Creamy Crack!
 
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xmasbaby78

xmasbaby78

Well-Known Member
Janet' said:
My mom relaxed my hair at 5 or 6 for manageability...and even with that, it was a lot to deal with...I enjoyed my hair relaxed but as I got older and started coloring my hair regularly, I knew that I had to choose between the relaxer and the color...the relaxer lost! Lol. Attached is a pic of me WITH a relaxer...
Click to expand...

CUTE CUTE CUTE!!
 
iri9109

iri9109

New Member
i was in 6th or 7th grade when i got my 1st relaxer...i beggggggggeeeeddd my mom for it because i noticed in 5th grade out of the maybe 8 black girls in the whole grade, 1 was the only one who had poofy hair (even though my hair was the longest)...i wanted straight hair like my friends....i guess i thought it would make me cooler and more grown up
 
SleekyHair

SleekyHair

New Member
My mom relaxed my hair when I very young, so it's all I know. I briefly considered going natural when I first joined this forum, but I decided that staying relaxed would be the best option for me. I have very thick hair and I know I couldn't handle it if were natural. I don't have the patience to spend 30+ minutes detangling my hair. Plus, I think natural hair would look horrible on me because I'm shaped like a lollipop (big head, stick body). :grin:
 
sunnieb

sunnieb

Well-Known Member
  1. I want to.
  2. I LOVE straight hair on me.
  3. Relaxers don't burn my scalp, give me sores, etc. and I scratch my scalp all the time! :grin:
  4. I love going to the salon every 3 months to have somebody else do my hair for a change. It's a treat!
  5. I don't like to put direct heat on my hair (I stretch with no heat) and if I were natural, I'd be tempted to straighten.
  6. I really like some natural styles, but I don't feel like learning how to do them. I'd end up going to a natural stylist more often than I go to my current stylist for a relaxer. So, a relaxer is cheaper for me. :yep:
  7. My relaxed hair is growing and retaining length, so I'm happy with that.
  8. My relaxed hair is thick (especially when airdried), so I can't imagine what my natural had would look like. I don't have the patience for all the detangling.
  9. I have perfected my relaxed haircare routine.
  10. I've finally gotten back into working out regularly and I like that my hair stays straight no matter how much I sweat.
  11. I like having the option to feel my hair on my back every day if I wanted to with no heat.
  12. Versatility with no heat - sleek straight bun on Sunday, braidout out on Monday, messy bun on Tuesday, down and straight on Wednesday, bantu knot out on Thursday, etc.
  13. Manageability
 
S

Solitude

Well-Known Member
sunnieb said:
  1. I want to.
  2. I LOVE straight hair on me.
  3. Relaxers don't burn my scalp, give me sores, etc. and I scratch my scalp all the time! :grin:
  4. I love going to the salon every 3 months to have somebody else do my hair for a change. It's a treat!
  5. I don't like to put direct heat on my hair (I stretch with no heat) and if I were natural, I'd be tempted to straighten.
  6. I really like some natural styles, but I don't feel like learning how to do them. I'd end up going to a natural stylist more often than I go to my current stylist for a relaxer. So, a relaxer is cheaper for me. :yep:
  7. My relaxed hair is growing and retaining length, so I'm happy with that.
  8. My relaxed hair is thick (especially when airdried), so I can't imagine what my natural had would look like. I don't have the patience for all the detangling.
  9. I have perfected my relaxed haircare routine.
  10. I've finally gotten back into working out regularly and I like that my hair stays straight no matter how much I sweat.
  11. I like having the option to feel my hair on my back every day if I wanted to with no heat.
  12. Versatility with no heat - sleek straight bun on Sunday, braidout out on Monday, messy bun on Tuesday, down and straight on Wednesday, bantu knot out on Thursday, etc.
  13. Manageability
Click to expand...

This describes all of my reasons perfectly. :yep:
 
MaryJane3000

MaryJane3000

New Member
i got a relaxer over the summer when i was spending i with my dad, stepmom, and two alf siblings. My step mom was korean and didnt know how to do my hair. My mom kept me as a natural and I had hair down my back but I never knew how to do it because she never let me touch it. My dad used to compare my hair to my half sister's who had 3a/b hair down her back. My step mom and her friends kept saying that I needed to get a relaxer so one day they took me to a lady across the street and I got one. My mom was upset when I came home btu she didn't know much about hair and just said that now we're going to have to keep it up and I've been getting relaxers ever since. I was in 4th grade I think.
 
Ms Lala

Ms Lala

Well-Known Member
Honestly because I thought I was supposed to, just about everyone I knew relaxed except some older ladies w/TWA's . I wore my hair pressed through HS, then relaxed before leaving for college.
 
Jas123

Jas123

The Star of a Story
simply put i relax my hair because i like the way it looks... also i like the convenience and versatility of my relaxed hair... also i think my hair is healthier relaxed because i rarely use direct heat (actually i'm not using any heat now)... if i were natural i think i would be using a lot of direct heat to straighten my hair often and that would cause too much heat damage & set backs
 
kittikat24

kittikat24

New Member
I got my first relaxer at about 11 yrs old, and diligently relaxed every 8 wks for...7 yrs. I wanted a relaxer because I wanted to feel "grown up". I honestly think the reason my hair broke off in my early teens is because I was introduced to my own curling iron :/
After discovering hair forums I was able to acheive healthy relaxed hair, then after reaching my goal of APL, I started transitioning. I'm still on the journey!! :grin:
 
*CherryPie*

*CherryPie*

Well-Known Member
I got my first relaxer when I was in my teens. It was the style if choice for most black folks then. My mother didn't relax our hair, she gave us a choice when we became teens. I continued because to me, relaxed hair is beautiful and easy to manage.

I'm transitioning now because I love natural styles, and relaxers has started bothering my scalp. Aside from the scalp problem, I just want something different.
 
divachyk

divachyk

Instagram: adaybyjay
I never asked for it, mom just did it. I've been relaxed since I was a young girl -- maybe middle school (I can't remember specifically). I still relax because I like the manageability because I don't have the patience to work with an all natural head.
 
Carisa

Carisa

New Member
I started getting relaxers around 8 or so because my hair was so thick. I also like straight hair and im pretty lazy about hair so i like it to be easy for me to deal with
 
Carisa

Carisa

New Member
sunnieb said:
  1. I want to.
  2. I LOVE straight hair on me.
  3. Relaxers don't burn my scalp, give me sores, etc. and I scratch my scalp all the time! :grin:
  4. I love going to the salon every 3 months to have somebody else do my hair for a change. It's a treat!
  5. I don't like to put direct heat on my hair (I stretch with no heat) and if I were natural, I'd be tempted to straighten.
  6. I really like some natural styles, but I don't feel like learning how to do them. I'd end up going to a natural stylist more often than I go to my current stylist for a relaxer. So, a relaxer is cheaper for me. :yep:
  7. My relaxed hair is growing and retaining length, so I'm happy with that.
  8. My relaxed hair is thick (especially when airdried), so I can't imagine what my natural had would look like. I don't have the patience for all the detangling.
  9. I have perfected my relaxed haircare routine.
  10. I've finally gotten back into working out regularly and I like that my hair stays straight no matter how much I sweat.
  11. I like having the option to feel my hair on my back every day if I wanted to with no heat.
  12. Versatility with no heat - sleek straight bun on Sunday, braidout out on Monday, messy bun on Tuesday, down and straight on Wednesday, bantu knot out on Thursday, etc.
  13. Manageability
Click to expand...

I agree with everything in this post! Ive thought about transitioning but i really dnt want to look for new products, use more heat, and learn new hairstyles
 
RainyDaze

RainyDaze

Well-Known Member
I mainly relax so that my hair is easier to manage and to combact frizziness and reverting when I wear it straight.
 
MVPMOM

MVPMOM

New Member
Hi all! I got my first relaxer when I was about 15 or 16, I think. I had been getting it pressed since I was about 12 I guess. All of the women in my family were natural at the time, except my aunt who married into to the family. I have a TON of very thick hair she convinced my mom first to press my hair and then eventually allow me to get a relaxer so that I could do my own hair. I have a bit of hair ADD. LOL I have switched between relaxed and natural several times. Right now I am relaxed. I relaxed again back in February after being natural for nearly 4 years. I can't say that I won't go back to being natural again. But I chose to be relaxed again, because I really just got tired of defending my beautiful natual hair to misunderstood southern sisters... and I was just ready for a change. I love staright styles and it is just a lot less work for me. i feel softer with straight hair. with felt like I had a funky kind of edge with my natural hair. LOL Plus my husbandsaid he missed running his fingers through my hair. LOL
Because I grew up with all natural women as role models for the most part, relaxed or natural they are both just choices that I have... And right now relaxed is it!
 
danysedai

danysedai

Well-Known Member
Mainly because that's what I've always had, and I also like the look of straight hair (not so straight, hair with volume). My ideal hair is my mom's hair, silver relaxed APL hair and I'm halfway there. If I go natural it will be to go gray but I'm pretty sure I'll relax afterwards because I want my hair to be just like my mom's.
 
L

levone

Active Member
Great thread! I've haven't relaxed in over 8 years, but I got my first relaxer when I was 11 (36 now). I asked my mom (4 daughters and she couldnt' style hair at all, lol) and she sent me to the beauty shop. I was always professionally relaxed, even as an adult.

Honestly I did it because it was the 'it' thing and really saw it like the other ladies mentioned, just a right of passage to 'big girl styles'. However, my hair is much healthier and thicker without a relaxer. I would never relax again, but I know if I would it would be a lot thicker than in those days just from all of the healthier hair practices I've learned over the last couple of years.
 
BoaterGirlKim

BoaterGirlKim

Active Member
I was just thinking that I could go natural again after being on LHCF for a year and a half, learning proper techniques and pretty styles to enjoy versatility of natural hair. The main reason I'll stay relaxed is that I'm in water a lot, either jumping in the river to cool off when boating, or hitting the waves when visiting in Cancun. Now that my hair is creeping downward to give me an appearance of a little length, I like the way it hangs and frames my neck and shoulders when it's wet, and how easy it is to slick back into a ponytail until I have a chance to wash it later.
 
Lady Esquire

Lady Esquire

New Member
Janet, you were too cute. Your hair was :love:

Brittster, your siggy. :rofl:

I relaxed at 11. I have the shrinkiest hair on the planet. I was the only girl left with the pigtails. It bothered me. I BC'd and went natural for a year in my late 20s. Then when I found the boards, I thought it was safe the relax again because now I had the support to wear my hair safely however I liked. Now I am texlaxed and feel that is the best texture for me: loosely relaxed but with body and texture.
 
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