Men don't have the right

I've heard this alot on the hair boards and It always irks me to read this. But...

Why is it that men feel they have a right to say if they hate weaves or not.
If the weave is done right you won't even know it's a weave. So why are they tripping?

I might not have a full clear understanding on this because I am single and not married and I'm not the type of girl to "date around". So anything that I've done to make myself better is for my own self importance.

But I feel like if my BF or hubby told me he hated weaves and he didn't like me wearing them, I might change the style to seem more natural. But to be honest, IMO he has nothing to say because it is the hair on my head and it makes me feel good.

Am I completely wrong about this? I suppose I'm just venting. but it seriously irks me when I read things like that.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not the feminist type either. I think they can go overboard sometimes.

What do you guys think?
Am is this even the right section to post this?

cause they like to know they can put their hands all up your hair when they want to

I ain't gonna front....I like it too

I think some people may just appease them to be nice.


They say you can't tell a good boob job from natural but people still have prefrences on those too

As much as men say it, they really don't HATE weaves. Because they still find their girl attractive. And what if her hair is completely ruined because of medicine that she's taking? Would he rather her be embarrassed and feel bad about herself and wear her hair without the weaves? No loving man would want to cause his wife/girlfriend pain like that.

And you're still having sex with your girl, so you OBVIOUSLY still find her attractive, weave n all.

I do understand the whole touching the hair bit. Guys (some of my exes) loved touching my hair..etc. one guy liked to yank on it as a joke (that I didnt really find funny. he knew it irritated me) So yea.

Men, for the most part, are self-entitled jerks who feel as if they can tell women how we are supposed to be because we should look attractive FOR them and how they want us to. I pass.

When my girl puts glue in weave and I have to be the one who to take is out and hear her complain that she lost so much hair taking out the glue.... but I don't know or have the right to say anything PLEASE.

Anyone can have an opinion on anything. I can find a guy with braids attractive, even though I don't like braids on guys. Its one thing out of many that makes up attraction.
Unless the guy that says he does not like weaves is the guy you are seeing, then it really should not matter. Even if he is the guy you are seeing, that still doesn't stop women who want to do it from doing it - that's between the two of you. It's just a preference.

Why not? they do have a right to like or not like anything. they are human, it is their right. their liking it or not liking it may be idiotic and based on useless, stupid or selfish reasons, or no reason at all, but yes, it is their right too.

So men are allowed to have an opinion on everything else except hair? I would think anyone is entitled to their opinion. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. Just like a woman might not like her man relaxing his hair a la Snoop or Kat Williams. She'd be entitled to have her opinion too and say if she likes relaxed hair on men or not.

It doesn't mean you have to change for their sake. But I think everyone has the right to have an opinion.

Urban said:

So men are allowed to have an opinion on everything else except hair? I would think anyone is entitled to their opinion. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. Just like a woman might not like her man relaxing his hair a la Snoop or Kat Williams. She'd be entitled to have her opinion too and say if she likes relaxed hair on men or not.

It doesn't mean you have to change for their sake. But I think everyone has the right to have an opinion.

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I don't think having the preference is an issue, but voicing it without being asked is. If I walked up to a man with a relaxer like, "I can't stand men with relaxers," that would be rude and inappropriate.

Maybe you should find a man that likes weaves instead of complaining about men that don't? *shrugs*

I'm not married either BUT the majority of the men I have been in a relationship with did not care for weaves. No I didn't stop wearing them but I always consider their thoughts just as I'd hope they would consider mine if I really hated a particular haircut or item of clothing that they wear. The guy I'm currently seeing says he "hates" weave but actually loved my last one. I sent him a pic of my current wig (my avatar) his response was "I'm a fan!" and didn't even realize it was a wig (its long distance so he hasn't seen it in person yet). I agree that if done correctly it wouldn't be that much of a problem, most hate the unnatural look of some of them or when women try to "fool" men into thinking its all their hair. But I'm sorry, I will always think they have a right to say whatever is on their mind as long as its respectful.

They have the right to like or dislike anything that they please lol. People need to find people who they're compatible with.

IMO plenty of guys sayyy they don't like weaves.. But when it comes down to it, they will still date a girl that wears weaves...

My FH isn't big on weaves/wigs, and often tells me I don't need it. But when I'm good and ready, I slap on a wig or get some tracks sewn in & he's the first to tell me how great it looks.



Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

EllePixie said:

I don't think having the preference is an issue, but voicing it without being asked is. If I walked up to a man with a relaxer like, "I can't stand men with relaxers," that would be rude and inappropriate.

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Yes, it would be rude if you did that to a random man on the street. If the OP is talking about stating an opinion in general (on a hairboard, blog post, general convo) or to someone you're in a relationship with, people should be entitled to voice their opinion.

I think they have a right. I mean i would tell them if i didnt like their hair.
Now do they have a right to make you change it, No.
Do you have to change it if they complain, No.

But i dont think you should expect differently if you complain & want them to change something.

Also, If a guy is complaining about the way your weave looks dont you think you should change it? Cause Like.. guys are really stupid(OR Do they pretend to be stupid?) when it comes to that stuff, so if they notice then you know your in trouble

Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one. I don't like men with facial hair but if he had all the other characteristics that I was looking for I would work with it. Hair shouldn't be a deal breaker, not should he have to walk around acting like he loves everything you do.

I don't get why women feel like a man has to shut up and like everything they do. This may be why some of us can't find anyone. #unrealisticexpectations

Guys don't even know when a chick is wearing a weave or a wig. I wore sew-ins for over a year while growing out my hair a while back and one day I wore my real hair out & my god brother was like, "Did you cut your hair???" When I told him I'd been wearing a weave, he was in shock. We had a good laugh about it. Just goes to show.

I can always depend on @EllePixie for some real talk. As far as my dude, he makes it know he doesn't like my wigs in a nice way and I don't mind it because just as much as he dishes it, he definately can take it. As long as we respect each other I don't mind hearing his opinion while I'm putting on my half wig.

babyu21 said:

Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one. I don't like men with facial hair but if he had all the other characteristics that I was looking for I would work with it. Hair shouldn't be a deal breaker, not should he have to walk around acting like he loves everything you do.

I don't get why women feel like a man has to shut up and like everything they do. This may be why some of us can't find anyone. #unrealisticexpectations

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I agree. Ii do think A LOT of women complain to damn much. I couldnt be a lesbian I mean to deal with another me.. 24/7?..

Everyone's allowed to have an opinion and preference. it doesn't mena you have to bend to that preference though

Who gives a damn about what other dudes think? If it's not my mate I could care less.

And if your man hates weaves well..he's entitled. You know how many "I am woman, hear me roar" chicks are out there that have a LIST of things they hate? And will be with a man for x amount of time, know how a dude is and will still complain about it?

And if you know your man hates a weave on your, and yall are still together...and it's 10 years later down the line, and he STILL complains about your weave, who you mad at? You decided to stick with him after he said what was what.

We want men to be honest with us, but not TOO honest. Then they're all the scum of the earth when they lie or "play games".

But ya know, you can always find a man that will tell you just what you want to hear...just so he can slide his way into them pannies.

I dont know any men who like and prefer a weave? I pretty much work under the assumption that they dislike it.

empressri said:

Who gives a damn about what other dudes think? If it's not my mate I could care less.

And if your man hates weaves well..he's entitled. You know how many "I am woman, hear me roar" chicks are out there that have a LIST of things they hate? And will be with a man for x amount of time, know how a dude is and will still complain about it?

And if you know your man hates a weave on your, and yall are still together...and it's 10 years later down the line, and he STILL complains about your weave, who you mad at? You decided to stick with him after he said what was what.

We want men to be honest with us, but not TOO honest. Then they're all the scum of the earth when they lie or "play games".

But ya know, you can always find a man that will tell you just what you want to hear...just so he can slide his way into them pannies.

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at "pannies."

Urban said:

Yes, it would be rude if you did that to a random man on the street. If the OP is talking about stating an opinion in general (on a hairboard, blog post, general convo) or to someone you're in a relationship with, people should be entitled to voice their opinion.

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Sure, they can...but are you going to change what you do? I'd hope not...that's why I don't see the point except to "complain." People are in this thread telling the OP she is complaining about men, but if I was dating a guy and he felt like he had to "voice his opinion" about something that I did, that I wasn't going to change because I liked it...it just sounds like he's whining too. It's not as if a weave is something unhealthy like smoking, it's just a weave...

And note...I've never had a weave and probably never will get one, but I've had men tell me they won't date a woman with a weave and I just look at them like...0_o. And while I wouldn't date a man with a relaxer, I sure as heck have never expressed that to a dude...I mean, for what?

Meh, what if a man said he liked your weave? You would be flattered and wouldn't say he didn't have a right to tell you what he likes.
Alot of men I know, including Dh, do not like weaves. Period. Not matter what I have said, not matter how natural it seems, no matter who wears it, they don't care for it. I repect it and continue to do me.

EllePixie said:

Sure, they can...but are you going to change what you do? I'd hope not...that's why I don't see the point except to "complain." People are in this thread telling the OP she is complaining about men, but if I was dating a guy and he felt like he had to "voice his opinion" about something that I did, that I wasn't going to change because I liked it...it just sounds like he's whining too. It's not as if a weave is something unhealthy like smoking, it's just a weave...

And note...I've never had a weave and probably never will get one, but I've had men tell me they won't date a woman with a weave and I just look at them like...0_o. And while I wouldn't date a man with a relaxer, I sure as heck have never expressed that to a dude...I mean, for what?

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I think because there are more women who wear weaves then there are men who wear relaxers. If every man I knew wore a relaxer( I mean 8 in 10 men) and I couldn't stand relaxers on men, I think I would say something

I met my husband wearing weaves and peices and all types of secret clip ins. Now that we're married, he prefers me natural. The reason? I never realized how much cultural difference there is in just our hair. No you cannot push me into the pool. No we cannot randomly go to the beach to go swimming because my hair is in cornrows underneath my wig and what if it floats off...not to MENTION the tangles... Do you realize how much this wig/half-wig/sew-in/clip-ins/ponytail cost?! No you cannot run your hands all up and through my tracks. So many simple gestures like him tugging on my hair or getting his fingers caught in a track would leave me angry and pissed.

Honestly when the man who loves you can't run his fingers though your hair because it must look good at all times or you dont want him to get caugh...wth? Now I'm not talking about your big mouth dude on the corner who has opinions about every female that walks by him, but I'm talking about in a relationship. I know my hubby prefers me natural so he can be spontaneous. But after having two kids and letting the emphasis on looking "done" at all times go down on the priority scale, I've learned that him saying he doesn't like weaves doesn't mean he's saying he doesn't like me.

I still wear my peices now and then, and it drives him wild when I wear the long ones, but because I know his prefernece, I try to please him. The same way he does for me. But honestly, if I told him how much I'd prefer he'd not wear a particualr cologne, and not only did he wear the cologne and tell me that it's his body and he can wear whatever he wants to wear and I should just deal with it because he's not going to change for me..what is he really saying?
I know I used to get so defensive when he would say things like, "Why don't you wear these tonight", or "Can we just go, you don't need make-up to go to the store" or "Honey, maybe this would look good on you" or "Baby...do you really need to do your hair again" Because I felt like he had no right to request anything of me. I'm a grown woman and I make my own decisions and no man is going to "run" me. I was like, "Excuse me, who asked you if I cared what you thought."

But what he hears is, "Your opinion doesnt matter to me because I dont care what you think or how you prefer me. You had better deal with what I like or you can kick rocks. You had better say you like it with a smile on your face."
If the man is worthy of compromise and if he's willing to do it for you, then you can go a week without a peice and it will be okay. It takes practice letting go of the "image" of what you think he should like versus the reality. Compromise.

I'm honestly surprised at some of the responses.

Isn't being in a relationship about give and take? I think in our strive to be "superwomen" and "miss independents", we forget that.

If you have a good husband/partner who treats you like a queen, works hard, is faithful, and your momma loves him, and the only thing he's "asking" of you is to consider another hairstyle, you're a pretty lucky girl.shrug

Readyone said:

I think because there are more women who wear weaves then there are men who wear relaxers. If every man I knew wore a relaxer( I mean 8 in 10 men) and I couldn't stand relaxers on men, I think I would say something

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Girl...come to WeHo. I have seen more than a few processed mohawks on dudes...

bride91501 said:

I'm honestly surprised at some of the responses.

Isn't being in a relationship about give and take? I think in our strive to be "superwomen" and "miss independents", we forget that.

If you have a good husband/partner who treats you like a queen, works hard, is faithful, and your momma loves him, and the only thing he's "asking" of you is to consider another hairstyle, you're a pretty lucky girl.shrug

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Perhaps it's just me, but I take issue with men who ask women to change their appearance to be more fitting to them is she had that appearance when they met. Changing your hairstyle, imo, is along the same lines of your man telling you how to dress, which is a huge red flag for me and is an indicator of being controlling.