~Sparklingflame~
New Member
cause they like to know they can put their hands all up your hair when they want to
I ain't gonna front....I like it too
They probably dont do it enough to warrent a complaint in the first place.
cause they like to know they can put their hands all up your hair when they want to
I ain't gonna front....I like it too
Girl...come to WeHo. I have seen more than a few processed mohawks on dudes...
Perhaps it's just me, but I take issue with men who ask women to change their appearance to be more fitting to them is she had that appearance when they met. Changing your hairstyle, imo, is along the same lines of your man telling you how to dress, which is a huge red flag for me and is an indicator of being controlling.
I get where you are coming from, EllePixie, but honestly in a much broader sense, women do this to men too. They meet a guy that fits most of the tic marks on the "wishlist", but want to re-dress him, introduce him to new friends because they dislike some of his friends, etc.
I think, in general, both men and women make (some) changes their style of dress or hair grooming based on feedback of their SO - whether is directed or off the cuff. What woman hasn't asked how she looked before leaving home of their SO for a special occasion or event? Or some variation of that kind of question?
There is a difference between a person simply stating their preferences versus the more pointed action of personally selecting head to toe wardrobe and grooming for their SO.
I would be worried if a man was dictating which items could or could not be worn outside of their home (i.e. "You CANNOT wear a weave") versus the more casual statement like "I don't wigs/weaves/fake hair."
I'm single as well. Men are visual. Men are touched by what they see, women are touched by what we hear. So a man saying he doesn't "like weaves" is the same thing to him as saying he only likes light skinned/ dark skinned women, or he only likes skinny girls/ curvy girls, or he only dates white girls/ black girls/ latinos/ Asians.Why is it that men feel they have a right to say if they hate weaves or not.
If the weave is done right you won't even know it's a weave. So why are they tripping?
Maybe you should find a man that likes weaves instead of complaining about men that don't? *shrugs*
Oh...lol. I don't do that to men either so I guess I can't relate. The only time I ever tried to "dress" a SO was to suggest he get new jeans b/c his didn't fit...ie, they were highwater. Otherwise...his way of dress was his. I didn't like a lot of the clothes he wore, but I also wasn't going to buy him a new wardrobe, so I remained mum for the most part. It would be different if a man were commenting and the chick's weave looked messed up, like she had all kinds of tracks sticking out...
And I agree, many women ask for feedback...but don't we also do this simply with friends, and not just SOs?
I'm just not understanding the point of reiterating a dislike of something so trivial as a weave, that you already knew was there, it doesn't seem to come from a positive place to me. But I do agree with you that dictating is way worse.
Okay, I get where you are coming from. I think I got something a bit different from the OP than other ladies - I interpreted it more like, "why do men feel like it's okay for them to give their their unsolicited opinion on weaves," which is a pet peeve of mine.This made me think of a recent trip into NYC with a male. There were a number of sad looking, ill cared for and very obvious weaves - enough that I could understand a comment from the male perspective cuz mentally I was thinking it.
While I recognize that many woman here on LHCF take pride in their hair, there is a disproportional number of women out there who have tired, sad and overworked weaves on their heads. For that reason, I don't take offense to a blanket statement of "I don't like weaves." I just don't see why he isn't allowed to have or express that opinion. Perhaps the better tactic is to simply ask WHY.
With regards to the feedback, sure women ask their friends for feedback. But how many threads have there been in OT about someone asking a question only to get answers back they didn't like? The same with asking a SO/mate, sometimes their response isn't what we want to hear.
Silly me, but I take it as a compliment when a man prefers my hair to a weave. *Kanye shrug*
I was going to say the same thing. I started a thread recently about women wearing weaves at a club I was at. My date said I have nice hair and didn't need a weave, anyway.
Every guy I have ever been in a relationship with expressed a preference for real hair. I wear my own hair 95% of the time, but wasn't like any of them dumped me for getting a weave.
I like a man with a Caesar and I have no problem telling men that!
I was going to say the same thing. I started a thread recently about women wearing weaves at a club I was at. My date said I have nice hair and didn't need a weave, anyway.
Every guy I have ever been in a relationship with expressed a preference for real hair. I wear my own hair 95% of the time, but wasn't like any of them dumped me for getting a weave.
I like a man with a Caesar and I have no problem telling men that!
When my girl puts glue in weave and I have to be the one who to take is out and hear her complain that she lost so much hair taking out the glue.... but I don't know or have the right to say anything PLEASE.
I met my husband wearing weaves and peices and all types of secret clip ins. Now that we're married, he prefers me natural. The reason? I never realized how much cultural difference there is in just our hair. No you cannot push me into the pool. No we cannot randomly go to the beach to go swimming because my hair is in cornrows underneath my wig and what if it floats off...not to MENTION the tangles... Do you realize how much this wig/half-wig/sew-in/clip-ins/ponytail cost?! No you cannot run your hands all up and through my tracks. So many simple gestures like him tugging on my hair or getting his fingers caught in a track would leave me angry and pissed.
Honestly when the man who loves you can't run his fingers though your hair because it must look good at all times or you dont want him to get caugh...wth? Now I'm not talking about your big mouth dude on the corner who has opinions about every female that walks by him, but I'm talking about in a relationship. I know my hubby prefers me natural so he can be spontaneous. But after having two kids and letting the emphasis on looking "done" at all times go down on the priority scale, I've learned that him saying he doesn't like weaves doesn't mean he's saying he doesn't like me.
I still wear my peices now and then, and it drives him wild when I wear the long ones, but because I know his prefernece, I try to please him. The same way he does for me. But honestly, if I told him how much I'd prefer he'd not wear a particualr cologne, and not only did he wear the cologne and tell me that it's his body and he can wear whatever he wants to wear and I should just deal with it because he's not going to change for me..what is he really saying?
I know I used to get so defensive when he would say things like, "Why don't you wear these tonight", or "Can we just go, you don't need make-up to go to the store" or "Honey, maybe this would look good on you" or "Baby...do you really need to do your hair again" Because I felt like he had no right to request anything of me. I'm a grown woman and I make my own decisions and no man is going to "run" me. I was like, "Excuse me, who asked you if I cared what you thought."
But what he hears is, "Your opinion doesnt matter to me because I dont care what you think or how you prefer me. You had better deal with what I like or you can kick rocks. You had better say you like it with a smile on your face."
If the man is worthy of compromise and if he's willing to do it for you, then you can go a week without a peice and it will be okay. It takes practice letting go of the "image" of what you think he should like versus the reality. Compromise.
The reason behind this post was me expressing my frustration with the idea that women will completely change what they have been already doing just because their hubby or bf says "Oh I hate weaves".
Okay, you hate weaves, get over it. I'm still going to wear them. As long as they're nice, he's still attracted to you..etc..so it shouldn't matter.
I don't know why you would be frustrated by what someone else chooses to do with their situation. For some couples, that may be what works for them. You may only see one side but not the man's side who has compromised to his woman's desires. And, even if the woman is blindly doing whatever her man wants, is that really anyone else's business? Now if she were being treated like a slave and getting her butt kicked, that would be different.
I have made it known to my husband many times that I don't like anything but short hair on a man and I definitely don't like fake hair on a man. If my husband came home with a lacefront toupee like Steve Harvey and Bishop Eddie Long wear, he would have something to deal with. Let's just say the glue on his forehead would still be wet as he was returning that hot garbage to the store he got it from. We have both compromised on things the other had a strong negative opinion about. That is what life and love are about.
cause they like to know they can put their hands all up your hair when they want to
I ain't gonna front....I like it too
BahahahaI agree. Ii do think A LOT of women complain to damn much. I couldnt be a lesbian I mean to deal with another me.. 24/7?..