Mother's what would you do?

DDTexlaxed · Aug 20, 2011

Sorry this happened, but he did look like a girl. Sometimes, mothers keep the hair long because they want it like that. They don't care what it makes the children look like. :ohwell:

Little boys should look like little boys. :nono:

manter26 · Aug 20, 2011

eyunka said:
Who said anything about perm are straighten comb? That was never stated by me.

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You don't have to say anything about it. Black hair 99.9999% of the time doesn't grow in bone straight so somehow it has to get that way...Whatever method she's using, he sits through that but he would cut his hair...hmmm.

Myjourney2009 · Aug 20, 2011

I would try to get to the root of why he is afraid of getting his hair cut.

If its the sound of the clipper he doesnt like I would find a way to desensitize him by taking him to the barber every so often to get him accustomed to hearing the sound.

Also see if you can have him sit with one barber for a few minutes at a time who is known to be very good with children. This will help him to develop a relationship before the big day. He can have the cape put on him and everything else minus the hair cut.

If the barber is okay with it they can let the little boy touch the clipper and maybe even turn it on (of course with the barber holding it).

When he is ready for the cut I would NOT allow them to cut his front hair line.

nsmith30 · Aug 20, 2011

Yes he is still a child. But as a child, he still knows what he likes and what he doesn't, he still has a personality. If he doesn't want a hair cut then I don't believe it should be forced on him. Yes it should be cornrowed or locked to look more masculine, but he shouldn't be forced to conform to our standards.

My SO has dreads and his son decided he wanted dreads so he got them. He chose to sit through getting them redone so he could look like his dad. When he decided he wanted them cut they cut them and now he has a low fade. Whether we like it or not it's still their head and they should have some say in the matter. There maybe a reason he prefers having his hair and I think it's important to know that reason.

naturalmanenyc · Aug 20, 2011

Why is everyone focused on cutting his hair? The issue is really about the fact that he hit another child.

I see no reason to cut his hair at all. They are in New Orleans so pigtails on a boy is not all that unusual.

Please do not add beads though.

Maybe something like these would work better:

Tolle · Aug 20, 2011

I agree with most posters about the styling of the hair. I just keep scrolling back up to the pics to see what everyone else is seeing because DOES NOT look like a girl to me.

ms-gg · Aug 20, 2011

My other issue is this-who decided cornrows were masculine? I distinctly remember back in 2000-2001 cornrows were still considered more feminine than masculine, then came along Allen Iverson who popularized the "Iversons." Women and men alike wore them with their natural hair (I mean natural as in without extensions). Then women stopped but the men kept doing it. R Kelly had rows, Bow Wow, Jaheim, etc etc just to name a few of the celebs who was rocking them in conjunction with regular everyday people. Then if you were wearing cornrows with your natural hair (meaning no weave added) and you were a girl, people assumed you were gay. Women still wore cornrows, but they had to have weave extensions added.

Knowing all of this, I still don't get why it is okay for the cornrows and bad for any other style, oh, except for a ponytail in the back. I don't believe that all men should have to wear a close cut fade to be masculine. Everybody doesn't look good with short hair (Llyod anyone?). I think the young boy in the OP looks cute with his long hair and it is well groomed. He just needs to learn how to deal with conflict better. That is the only lesson to be learned.

Ladybelle · Aug 20, 2011

It all comes down to a matter of parental preference, the OP asked "mothers, what would you do?" And, I think we responded accordingly. Now, if some disagree with what some mothers would do, then the question should have been rephrased so that the answers received would be what OP was looking for.

Yeah we discourage hitting. I also discourage my little boy from looking like a girl. That's my parental right, this lil' boys mom has the right to do what she wants too even if we disagree with it.

Ladybelle · Aug 20, 2011

In that middle pic, Jaden Smith ( or whatever his name is) does look like a girl and i would not let my son wear his hair like that. That is not cute, IMHO. I wouldn't let my daughter get her hair cut into a mohawk either. so....

likewtr4chklit · Aug 20, 2011

He is so cute!! I just wanna hug him up. But yeah, that hair :nono:

if it's causing this much trouble is it really worth it?

Bublin · Aug 20, 2011

Snoop Dog looks plain stupid....i would not want my son looking the image of him.

LayneJ · Aug 20, 2011

I'm not a mother, but I agree with the minority of posters who said the issue is not hair, it's the fighting.

Yes, kids can be cruel, but you don't hit people for making rude comments. That's completely unacceptable. He needs to learn how to appropriately address negative comments now rather than later.

With that said, I went to school for a little while in NO and my mother's family still lives there, and I can tell you it is NOT out of the norm to see little boys wearing their hair like your niece's son. Not even close. So if mother and son both like the braided ponytail styles, then I do not think mama should cut because he's being teased. I can tell you as someone with a gang of boys in their family that if it's not one thing, it'll be another. Weight, hair, preference in girls, family life, etc.

You can be perfectly groomed according to society's standards and still catch hell, but particularly with children, because many lack a filter.

greenandchic · Aug 20, 2011

Bublin said:
Snoop Dog looks plain stupid....i would not want my son looking the image of him.

Plus Snoop is a grown man and he looks like a masculine MAN. The OP's nephew is still a little boy.

Curlykutie · Aug 20, 2011

Cut his darn hair and let him look like a boy. Darn people are silly with the hair. Maybe he wouldn't be fighting if he had a normal boy hair cut. :nono:

BraunSugar · Aug 20, 2011

I've seen many little boys with long hair. That is not uncommon these days. I think she needs to do simple styles with his hair like basic cornrows to the back as others have suggested. The styles in the pics remind me of older hairstyles I've seen Snoop or DJ Quick with. Maybe that is why she thought it was okay. Those are grown men though & we are able to tell that they are men. Children tend to look gender neutral if we aren't careful which is why we normally dress them in 'boy colors' or 'girl colors' so that people know up front without having to guess.

He is a very cute little boy with beautiful hair. She should look at what parents of other little boys are doing with their son's hair to get some ideas of what works and what doesn't. I applaud her for trying to style his hair though because some people don't even try.

I hope things get better for him in school.

Natural Glow · Aug 20, 2011

Some of ya'll are mean :lol:

He looks like a little boy to me. I can see how a little kid could be confused though. But if mom and son both like his long hair, I'd keep it. I would not put it in ponytails though. If he doesn't like it I'd go ahead and cut it.

I see many little white girls who have bowl cuts and would look like boys if it werent for their little skirts and pink clothes. No one is running around telling them to grow their daughters hair out or wondering why they have their hair cut in a "boys" style

As far as the earring, I know someone who pierced their BABY boys ear :nono:

. I wouldn't do it but hey, that's her kid.

NYDiva · Aug 21, 2011

The thing is, it sounds like he wants his hair cut, but is afraid of the process. I'd take one day, plan something fun and just swing by a barber shop. I have 2 boys, 5 and 7, usually I cut their hair and every time it's an issue because they just don't like the vibration of the clippers. But I have girls too and taking care of that many heads of hair would be too time consuming. And personally, I just don't like long hair on boys.

blue_flower · Aug 21, 2011

He's a cute little boy and it makes me angry when children are taunted. However. . .I don't like seeing long hair on little boys because it does make them look like girls. Maybe when he's older- and can kick a**- then he can choose to have long hair and it wouldn't be as bad. But I don't understand why these mothers think it's cute to have long hair on little boys, twisting it, curling it, putting beads on it, and then getting both ears pierced and wearing pink. I would never do that to my son.

adf23 · Aug 21, 2011

Cut it- I hate long hair on little boys, braids/cornrows included.

And I agree, I don't like Jaden's hair in that middle pic, and Snoop's hair is

, but that is part of his persona, the hair/ponytails, etc. In real life, seeing a grown man with 2 ponytails looks ridiculous.

I have nothing to add about the earrings.

Poor thing.

Solitude · Aug 21, 2011

Ladybelle said:
It all comes down to a matter of parental preference, the OP asked "mothers, what would you do?" And, I think we responded accordingly. Now, if some disagree with what some mothers would do, then the question should have been rephrased so that the answers received would be what OP was looking for.

Yeah we discourage hitting. I also discourage my little boy from looking like a girl. That's my parental right, this lil' boys mom has the right to do what she wants too even if we disagree with it.

ITA with this. As a mother of a son, I stated what I would (and did) do.

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qchelle · Aug 21, 2011

Ohhhh that's how they do in NOLA? That's what hot in the skreets? Oh, well damn then :lol:

levette · Aug 21, 2011

Is it my imagination or does this boy have a Just 4 me relaxer. Them edges is mighty straight. I say cut it off--- he is cute but should look more masculine.

kurlykay · Aug 22, 2011

I live in NOLA, always have. And that look has never been hot. Cut the hair, not necessarily to the scalp but that hair has to go.

PS- he doesn't look like a girl though. But that look is so unsavory. For a lack of a better word.

CB1731 · Aug 22, 2011

Aww what a cutie pie! Kids are so mean. As a mom of 2 boys, I say cut it. I don't like long hair on boys. I loooved my son's curls but as soon as he started getting the " Oh SHE'S beautiful" comments, DH chopped those locks off. We will be doing the same with our 2nd.

allmundjoi · Aug 22, 2011

My nephew had long hair that was kept in braids or a low pony at his neck. His mom didn't use heat to get his hair straight, she put his hair in to ponytails and huge rollers on the end and let it airdry. Usually it airdried in his chosen style-cornrows. After a summer of swimming and sun, his hair was in bad shape. He didn't want it cut-refused it. Not b/c he was afraid of scissors or clippers, but he had grown accustomed to it. It was a part of how he viewed himself-part of his identity. He had been getting his long hair groomed since almost birth. He was almost traumatized when his hair was cut at 8yrs of age. He was APL. I know as a little girl I would have been POed if someone said they were going to cut my locks. B/C he's a boy he should be less attached to his hair? *shrug*

OP, I would want it cut, but if its really something he refuses to let go, cornrow it. I will add I am not fond of little boys with long hair although I do understand the attachment. He is a cutie too.

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