Are you dating or married to a Christian man of the same denomination

ccd

New Member
For example Baptist married to Baptist...... Methodist, Episcopalian...

The reason I ask is I was having a conversation with a man I know who asked if I were seeing or dating someone that is clear that his dating is to be married etc..... would I convert.... I am Catholic and he is Christian.... I said I grew up knowing that Catholics are Christian as well so I would need to know the difference before answering that honestly

He mentioned the Saints were one major difference.....

So now I want to know are you all dating and marrying the "same" type of Christian


Thanks for your replies in advance... REALLY really curious to know your perspectives..
 

LunadeMiel

Well-Known Member
I grew up catholic, DH for the most part is Baptist. All that mattered to us is that we both believe in God. We're both not very strict on how one chooses to worhsip the Lord.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
I grew up catholic, DH for the most part is Baptist. All that mattered to us is that we both believe in God. We're both not very strict on how one chooses to worhsip the Lord.

I like your answer. :yep: The two of you are 'Agreed' as the Bible shares, "how can two walk together unless they be agreed.

I love that the two of you love the Lord Jesus Christ and to be honest, that's the core of your faith and your marriage. You both love Jesus.

I know of several couples in the same Church, singing the same songs, the same 'talk', but still don't agree... :nono:.

I just wanted to come in and thank you for being honest. It speaks volumes. I praise God that you and your husband will always be in agreement, in Jesus, and with one another which will always be in season.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
For example Baptist married to Baptist...... Methodist, Episcopalian...

The reason I ask is I was having a conversation with a man I know who asked if I were seeing or dating someone that is clear that his dating is to be married etc..... would I convert.... I am Catholic and he is Christian.... I said I grew up knowing that Catholics are Christian as well so I would need to know the difference before answering that honestly

He mentioned the Saints were one major difference.....

So now I want to know are you all dating and marrying the "same" type of Christian


Thanks for your replies in advance... REALLY really curious to know your perspectives..

This is an excellent question for discussion. :yep:

My father was Catholic and my mom was Baptist, and they shared going to both types of services. They both honoured the Lord Jesus Christ. When they disagreed, it was never about their denomination.

My only concern would be if the couple were not both Christian. Jesus HAS to be the core and the ultimate in any Christian couples relationship.

In the situation you mention above, it truly has to be something that any couple in that situation has to work out before becoming more involved with each other.
 

loolalooh

Well-Known Member
I'm going to be the odd one out when I say this ...

Ideally, all that matters is that the two partners are Christian, however ...

However, my parents who are both genuine Christians go to separate services (on most Sundays) because they worship a little differently. My Dad goes to a Presbyterian church while my Mom goes to a Pentecostal church.

My ex was a Catholic and I identify more with the Baptists (though I prefer to be called a non-denominational Christian). If I married a Catholic, we'd probably be just like my parents - going to different churches.

Other than attending separate services, I see no issue with two partners being of different denominations.
 

ccd

New Member
Ohhhh ladies thank you thank you. I am on mobile so I can't individually comment yet but your responds have given me a lot of hope and insight. I have known this person for a while well I should say we began talking a while back... We are getting re connected now because of a misunderstanding... Another story. But this is one of his criteria/ non negotiable that he mentioned last night and frankly I am
turned off by this. I feel like I am being judged; not Christian enough etc. and what my family instilled in me is now wrong. He didn't say this but asking me to convert sounds like that to me
 

aribell

formerly nicola.kirwan
Will your church have an issue? Usually it's the Catholic sidw of the equation that's more stringent. I know one married couple where the fiance ultimately converted to Catholicism and is super into it now, and another couple where the wife never converted and doesn't intend to, and both couples seem happy, though the family of the Protestant wife wasn't happy about it.

Seems like it depends on how strong your denominational ties are and what you expect of your spouse. I know Catholics that wouldn't marry Protestants and vice versa. I don't see this issue as often between Protestant denominations.
 

ccd

New Member
nicola.kirwan said:
Will your church have an issue? Usually it's the Catholic sidw of the equation that's more stringent. I know one married couple where the fiance ultimately converted to Catholicism and is super into it now, and another couple where the wife never converted and doesn't intend to, and both couples seem happy, though the family of the Protestant wife wasn't happy about it.

Seems like it depends on how strong your denominational ties are and what you expect of your spouse. I know Catholics that wouldn't marry Protestants and vice versa. I don't see this issue as often between Protestant denominations.

I'm not the one with issues and we are at a getting reacquainted stage so I haven't contemplated my church's stance. Just wondering why this gentleman feels the need to make that a nonnegotiable
 

CoilyFields

Well-Known Member
Ohhhh ladies thank you thank you. I am on mobile so I can't individually comment yet but your responds have given me a lot of hope and insight. I have known this person for a while well I should say we began talking a while back... We are getting re connected now because of a misunderstanding... Another story. But this is one of his criteria/ non negotiable that he mentioned last night and frankly I am
turned off by this. I feel like I am being judged; not Christian enough etc. and what my family instilled in me is now wrong. He didn't say this but asking me to convert sounds like that to me


Tell him how you feel (if you haven't already). He may not know this. Also maybe have a discussion about why he feels that is important. Educate him about the major differences (the saints etc.). A lot of protestants (myself included) just have a cursury knowledge of Catholicism.

I think its important that you guys come to a conclusion asap beause you would hate to push this to the back-burner, get into a relationship, and then one of you be pressured to make a decision you strongly disagree with beacuse now feelings are involved.
 

Miss Kane

Well-Known Member
Hi Ladies,

I married a man who was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. He does not attend the Kingdom Hall and hasn't in years. His parents are still JW. I was raised in the Baptist church but converted to a Holiness Church as an adult. I guess most would say that we are unequally yoked......
 

songbird8

Active Member
Hi CCD! Both my parents are pentecostal, and are now non-denominational/christian. I am non-denom/Christian, so is my boyfriend. ITA that what matters most is that you are both on the same page, and are equally yoked, and that God is the center of your relationship. I don't think you necessarily HAVE to be part of the same denom.
 

ccd

New Member
Thank you do much ladies!!! I'm happy to see that different denominations can in fact work and thrive. I haven't spoken to him yet but I plan to but most likely just to express my concern with his stance. It's non negotiable for him.
 

Miss Kane

Well-Known Member
I agree with what a few of the previous ladies said.. that as long as both people believe in God. It is my prayer that one day my husband and I will attend church together as a family. But I am grateful that we can pray together and have great conversations about the Lord and His Word.
 

Galadriel

Well-Known Member
Hi CCD, I'm Catholic (a convert) and married a Catholic. I think it's a good idea to have an honest discussion on where you both stand and how your religious lives will play out. For example would he attend church with you? Or you with him? Does he accept/respect your faith? What about the children? If/When you baptize your children in the Catholic Church, it's with the expectation that you will raise them as Catholics.

For some couples, this isn't a big deal. For others, it's a huge issue.
 

Spring

New Member
For example Baptist married to Baptist...... Methodist, Episcopalian...

The reason I ask is I was having a conversation with a man I know who asked if I were seeing or dating someone that is clear that his dating is to be married etc..... would I convert.... I am Catholic and he is Christian.... I said I grew up knowing that Catholics are Christian as well so I would need to know the difference before answering that honestly

He mentioned the Saints were one major difference.....

So now I want to know are you all dating and marrying the "same" type of Christian


Thanks for your replies in advance... REALLY really curious to know your perspectives..

Ohhhh ladies thank you thank you. I am on mobile so I can't individually comment yet but your responds have given me a lot of hope and insight. I have known this person for a while well I should say we began talking a while back... We are getting re connected now because of a misunderstanding... Another story. But this is one of his criteria/ non negotiable that he mentioned last night and frankly I am
turned off by this. I feel like I am being judged; not Christian enough etc. and what my family instilled in me is now wrong. He didn't say this but asking me to convert sounds like that to me

Hi, I'm Assembly of God and my husband is Baptist. We only had issues when a friend of his and one of his family members tried to make that an issue years into our marriage ( I was born again after I married). However, my husband loved going to the 2 churches (Assembly of God & a Non-denominational/pentacostal ) we've been apart of.

I'm glad you guys are discussing this ahead of time...it's important that you're not feeling pressured.
 

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
OP glad you're considering this aspect of any longterm relationship early on...one's relationship with God is important and being unequally yolked will do more harm. It's something to pray about for guidance from God for sure...

Everyone can believe in God but if there is conflicting beliefs/theologies that contradict the Word of God, there could be trouble and quite possibly, compromise of beliefs. While it's certainly possible a couple of the same denomination may still not be on one accord, I can't imagine going to a separate church from my spouse...IMHO it's a distraction.

Me and DH are non-denominational.. Our beliefs, church, family were all things we discussed to the wazoo before we married.
 

ccd

New Member
Thank you again for all these wonderful responses..... Wasn't able to get on the site from my computer for the past couple days ...(do to being busy at home/ checking in at night and too late to respond with the detail needed imo)

I am grateful that the conversation came up this early ( we are not dating just talking about dating) and this has made me think about what I need as well... I feel that he is saying "my form of Christianity" is the wrong one basically....

I don't like how that feels or the implications in the long run..... I don't read the Bible every day,... but I do recall that Jesus never did this to people..... he spoke to and spread his word to many that were deemed
"unworthy"

After reflection, prayer and consulting people I trust...this didn't sound right for me... His conversation was that " if I was seeing or dating someone, would I convert"....I replied, to what? I am Christian as well.... but then he began to breakdown how some things we do are different than etc..... Like I mentioned before...

This didn't sit well with me so that's why I began to ask.....

I expressed to him that day, that the God I know and have come to rely on as my mother's health is deteriorating as he knows.... has blessed my life with a loving, supportive family, friends some that He has brought back into my life ( after 20 years of not seeing them) who are lending emotional and offering physical help to me right now; where I thought I would have to do what I'm doing alone.

My mother, worked all her life to give me these values, instill this faith and send me to all Catholic schools and now I would need to 'convert" ...I said I would need to understand why.

There were some other subtle tones in the conversation that lead me to believe this guy wanted to be able to re-enter my life with no "barriers"; I use this word lightly.

Meaning, he asked to see me this Saturday but I already have plans, I said how about next Saturday..............his response was oh Ok, we will see what happens.... I offered another day, and he didn't want to make a plan....that too was a " hmm" moment ( this was before this religion question came up)

Anyway, I've expressed to him my view point and that not only is he saying that my upbringing is not what he wants for his children, but then therefore, why doesn't he start his search for a wife, in his church
( this ^^ is a shorten version)
 
Last edited:
Top