She tried to keep me from LHCF!

cmw45 · Jul 12, 2006

I know this situation would never go down at this forum but...

When I was a freshman in college (two years ago) I had a "friend" who had really beautiful 4a/4b hair. I mean, her length was great (about BSL), it was incredibly thick, and it was always shiny. One day, when we were in a room with a bunch of other girls complaing about the hard water in the college dormitory, I asked her, "...how do you keep your hair always looking so pretty? I mean, no offense, but the hard water dosen't look like it's affecting you at all." All the other women in the room nodded their head in agreement. She said, "Oh girl, for your hair to grow, you have to put time into it...I'll send you the list of the stuff I do and some other information." I thought GREAT! I caugth up with her about a week later and asked her where she had got her info from, so that I might get it myself, and she said that she had "forgotten" and would e-mail me it later. I sent her an e-mail about two weeks later and after three weeks of no reply, she said that she had, "forgotten...and that it wasn't that big of a deal cause I don't do much to my hair." Well, from one of her other "friends," (who's laptop she often borrowed) I was told that she often frequented this site...and Wala...here I am. This is not the first time I ran into a woman who was unwilling to share knowledge or info (even about products). Have any of you run into a similar situation? I know I've always done my best to share anything that I know with anyone else who is ready to learn.

Je Ne Sais Quoi · Jul 12, 2006

This place is "the precious" so to speak. Maybe she was protecting it? Or she just didn't want you to know her hair secrets. It's all good! Man, I can't stay off this dern board. And I thought creamy crack was bad :lachen:

CandiceC · Jul 12, 2006

Is the person a (posting) member? :sekret:

Tene · Jul 12, 2006

I don't understand why women don't like sharing info. regarding hair care and other things. I love sharing info and trying to help others. Also welcome to the board!

cmw45 · Jul 12, 2006

No she is not a posting member...to my knowledge she isn't a member (as so far as what her friend said--cause she too was sick of asking for info, so went snooping on her own computer.)

Enchantmt · Jul 12, 2006

A shower filter will help with the hard water.

Your friend probably isnt protecting her hair secrets, just her LHCF life. It's hard to explain, but you will understand once you come here and become hair obsessed. Not everyone who asks what you do to your hair really wants to know, they sometimes just want to hear about a miracle vitamin or some other short cut. They want the results but the dont want to put in the effort to get them. Not everyone will be supportive of your hair goals either, so some people like to come here where they will get unconditional support. Also a lot of people posts pics, hair albums etc and share a lot of themselves. I tell strangers about in a heartbeat, but closer people get LHCF info, not the web address :lol:

. I dont mind sharing hair info, but I'm protective of my private time on LHCF!

BTW...Welcome to LHCF!

CandiceC · Jul 12, 2006

cmw45 said:
No she is not a posting member...to my knowledge she isn't a member (as so far as what her friend said--cause she too was sick of asking for info, so went snooping on her own computer.)

Oh. Well that's great you're here now. Welcome! :wave:

cmw45 · Jul 12, 2006

Hmmm...that's def. food for thought. Thanks.

caribeandiva · Jul 12, 2006

man she's not a friend at all is she? i love sharing info. especially if the person has a legitimate hair problem. not telling you about this site was petty and childish. oh well she'll get her just desserts.

Nigeriangurl · Jul 12, 2006

I know exactly what you mean!
I have a friend who for as long as I've known her (two years) has always had BSL hair. I remember once asking her what her natural hair was like and she told me it was probably like mine, really kinky and stuff. (I'm a 4b

). So this past January, I decided to really get into looking after my hair. I asked her what she did to hers, since it was always looking so good. She was like "well, i use curl activator....but I can't remember the names of my other stuff it's all in the bathroom". Ummmmmm, girlfriend can't remember the name of a SINGLE product???

That's when I realized I'd have to look for other sources of info for hair health. I found the hair boards and the rest is history

I do have a feeling she's around here tho....

foxybrownsugar · Jul 12, 2006

Dang! Ol' girls hair must be the bomb if "your friend" is bold enough to snoop in her computer. Welcome, this is too funny.

FlyyGyrl · Jul 12, 2006

Well in her defense maybe she has had bad experiences in the past with sharing info. When I first started I told everyone... and everyone made fun of me. I got some really hurtful comments and since then I really don't share anymore. So maybe it is not out of malice. I know many other members have had similar experiences

foxybrownsugar · Jul 12, 2006

FlyyGyrl said:
Well in her defense maybe she has had bad experiences in the past with sharing info. When I first started I told everyone... and everyone made fun of me. I got some really hurtful comments and since then I really don't share anymore. So maybe it is not out of malice. I know many other members have had similar experiences

Yeah, this is what im thinking too. She has her guard up probably.

Mahalialee4 · Jul 12, 2006

Some people post in other forums as well and do not necessarily want to have a "casual acquaintance" snooping the site for all their posts and then blabbing to the world!!!! I am like that!!!!I do not share this site hardly EVAH!!!!LOLOLBONJOUR

Mahalialee4 · Jul 12, 2006

I meant to add: The Hair Discussion threads are just one of several here. Would you like some of these people keying in and pulling up all your posted material from Off Topic etc? Ya'll chokin' now eh...hahahahlolol!!! You know some of those "friends" would have your business all out in the street!!!!bonjour

HighlyFavored1 · Jul 12, 2006

yea, i'm thinking that maybe she does have her guard up. i'm afraid to tell any of my other friends about this sight, too. it just takes one person to question you and your possible hair obsession, and then you just don't want to tell anyone else. maybe she didn't want you thinking that she was just going too far for the sake of her hair.

MrsQueeny · Jul 12, 2006

I understand her having her guard up but I don't understand the harm in her just saying "oh girl I do apple cider vinegar rinses, or I use a shower filter to combat the hard water". Then I would have given you the link to a good filter on ebay or told you how to do the ACV rinse. But then again that's just me. I don't tell people "where" I get my info but I do give info when they ask and just keep it moving. Either way her actions have added to our LHCF family so WELCOME!!! Q

metalkitty · Jul 12, 2006

Maybe she wanted to help but got nervous that you'd think she was 'strange' or 'obsessed' with her hair as an afterthought? Just putting that out there, some people do sorta withhold info for dumb reasons though.

brooklyngal73 · Jul 12, 2006

LOL @ this story! Glad you're finally here....

She doesn't want any "competition" from you!

cmw45 said:
I know this situation would never go down at this forum but...

When I was a freshman in college (two years ago) I had a "friend" who had really beautiful 4a/4b hair. I mean, her length was great (about BSL), it was incredibly thick, and it was always shiny. One day, when we were in a room with a bunch of other girls complaing about the hard water in the college dormitory, I asked her, "...how do you keep your hair always looking so pretty? I mean, no offense, but the hard water dosen't look like it's affecting you at all." All the other women in the room nodded their head in agreement. She said, "Oh girl, for your hair to grow, you have to put time into it...I'll send you the list of the stuff I do and some other information." I thought GREAT! I caugth up with her about a week later and asked her where she had got her info from, so that I might get it myself, and she said that she had "forgotten" and would e-mail me it later. I sent her an e-mail about two weeks later and after three weeks of no reply, she said that she had, "forgotten...and that it wasn't that big of a deal cause I don't do much to my hair." Well, from one of her other "friends," (who's laptop she often borrowed) I was told that she often frequented this site...and Wala...here I am. This is not the first time I ran into a woman who was unwilling to share knowledge or info (even about products). Have any of you run into a similar situation? I know I've always done my best to share anything that I know with anyone else who is ready to learn.

ThickHair · Jul 12, 2006

A few friends have ask me about my hair care regime and where I find information. So I told them what I do and about this site. They don't believe me and tell me that isn't it. So I can understand if she is hesitant because some folks can not believe things that are too easy. So I choose not to share any more. Folks still ask and I give them the same answer and they don't go for it. Oh well aint my fault.

2cute2B4gotten · Jul 12, 2006

I love sharing things...but I find that too many times when you start "sharing", people become disinterested when they find out that it takes time and care to achieve healthy hair. When they find that it isn't some miracle pill, they start tuning me out. Now, I simply say, " I am a member of a hair board. Please let me know if you're interested and I will give you the address." The rest is up to them.

NessaNessa · Jul 12, 2006

FlyyGyrl said:
Well in her defense maybe she has had bad experiences in the past with sharing info. When I first started I told everyone... and everyone made fun of me. I got some really hurtful comments and since then I really don't share anymore. So maybe it is not out of malice. I know many other members have had similar experiences

Well, my family and friends think I'm crazy but I dont care LOL!!!!!! I tell everyone all I learn from here if they ask. I have, however, gained a friend by mentioning this site. We first began talking about hair all the time, and that has progressed to off board experiences

NessaNessa · Jul 12, 2006

2cute2B4gotten said:
I love sharing things...but I find that too many times when you start "sharing", people become disinterested when they find out that it takes time and care to achieve healthy hair. When they find that it isn't some miracle pill, they start tuning me out. Now, I simply say, " I am a member of a hair board. Please let me know if you're interested and I will give you the address." The rest is up to them.

Exactly!!!!!

BTW- Your bun is purty

WomanlyCharm · Jul 12, 2006

When asked, I'm more than happy to ramble on about what I do to my hair...people know I'm obsessed! :lol:

And I love to help others get their hair in check...I'm doing a coworker's hair tomorrow.
But the board is my oasis of sorts...do I want my best friend, cousin or even my mama up in here, reading all my posts? NO.
So I'll share information about conditioners, shampoo and baggying until the cows come home, but I don't give out the name of this board to anyone.

And welcome! You'll come to understand...especially when some people start thinking you're crazy for even belonging to a hair board.

plove · Jul 12, 2006

*Bre~Bre* said:
This place is "the precious" so to speak. Maybe she was protecting it? Or she just didn't want you to know her hair secrets. It's all good! Man, I can't stay off this dern board. And I thought creamy crack was bad

I don't keep this forum to myself i have shown a few ppl this forum but noone cared to join so it's there lose. I don't care what ppl think of me so if they try to make fun of me which some have, I just tell them when my hair reach BSL you are going to ask me how did i get my hair so long and I'm going to say remember that forum i was telling you about two years ago........
lol they find that part funny if they only know that i find it funny too because i know in two years there hair will still be the way it's today.

genesis · Jul 12, 2006

Enchantmt said:
A shower filter will help with the hard water.

Your friend probably isnt protecting her hair secrets, just her LHCF life. It's hard to explain, but you will understand once you come here and become hair obsessed. Not everyone who asks what you do to your hair really wants to know, they sometimes just want to hear about a miracle vitamin or some other short cut. They want the results but the dont want to put in the effort to get them. Not everyone will be supportive of your hair goals either, so some people like to come here where they will get unconditional support. Also a lot of people posts pics, hair albums etc and share a lot of themselves. I tell strangers about in a heartbeat, but closer people get LHCF info, not the web address . I dont mind sharing hair info, but I'm protective of my private time on LHCF!

I so agree with you, I get comments all the time pertaining to my hair growth and when I start to give some of the "secrets" away, you can just see how many people are like "I'm not doing all of that for some hair." LHCF is like a safe haven for me, I can come here and be around other like minded ladies that support each other, and I must admit that I don't give out the URL frequently....

KiniKakes · Jul 12, 2006

FlyyGyrl said:
Well in her defense maybe she has had bad experiences in the past with sharing info. When I first started I told everyone... and everyone made fun of me. I got some really hurtful comments and since then I really don't share anymore. So maybe it is not out of malice. I know many other members have had similar experiences

This is a good point.......

There are all sorts of reasons why she may have chosen to withhold that info.... it could have been based on malice, or simply based on protecting herself from ridicule. :look:

Or, as others pointed out, she may just be a private person who doesnt necessarily want others having acceess to her private life.

But either way.... you found us now, and Im really glad. I know that you'll learn a lot here and hopefully reach all your hair goals and dreams. Welcome to the forum, girl, and HHG.

Candiss · Jul 12, 2006

Sometimes people don't want to share because they are selfish. But sometimes, its because they are just tired of being asked for the "holy grail" of growing long hair. The truth is that there are many black women with long hair who don't use hair boards or anything else to grow their hair long, it just is that way. And they get tired of people coming to them like they have some secret that they can give away to others. Not to mention the drama they have to deal with. Sometimes you can say "oh, I just use this or that" and others women get upset because they refuse to believe it's that simple for this particular person to have long hair. And also some people are just protective of what is theirs. They may feel like they have their own thing that works for them and they don't want to share because it wouldn't be their anymore. I guess this would fall under the selfish category, but I kind of understand.

MissFallon · Jul 12, 2006

cmw45 said:
I know this situation would never go down at this forum but...

When I was a freshman in college (two years ago) I had a "friend" who had really beautiful 4a/4b hair. I mean, her length was great (about BSL), it was incredibly thick, and it was always shiny. One day, when we were in a room with a bunch of other girls complaing about the hard water in the college dormitory, I asked her, "...how do you keep your hair always looking so pretty? I mean, no offense, but the hard water dosen't look like it's affecting you at all." All the other women in the room nodded their head in agreement. She said, "Oh girl, for your hair to grow, you have to put time into it...I'll send you the list of the stuff I do and some other information." I thought GREAT! I caugth up with her about a week later and asked her where she had got her info from, so that I might get it myself, and she said that she had "forgotten" and would e-mail me it later. I sent her an e-mail about two weeks later and after three weeks of no reply, she said that she had, "forgotten...and that it wasn't that big of a deal cause I don't do much to my hair." Well, from one of her other "friends," (who's laptop she often borrowed) I was told that she often frequented this site...and Wala...here I am. This is not the first time I ran into a woman who was unwilling to share knowledge or info (even about products). Have any of you run into a similar situation? I know I've always done my best to share anything that I know with anyone else who is ready to learn.

First thing I would have done was send her a private message saying "whats up?" just to see her reaction! :lol:

MzTami · Jul 12, 2006

Welcome to the board, I'm MzTami!
Like the other have said, they will give advice but not the site address to close friends in fear of spreading their business they may have discussed in the Off Topic forum. I'm the same way, I mean, relatives and friends will have to ply open my casket to get the web site address.

She tried to keep me from LHCF!

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