Going back to relaxing after years of natural hair?

UPDATE: On Post #37

I grew up getting my hair relaxed. I didn't think much of it. While in college I decided I did not want to deal with the expense and upkeep of relaxing so I grew my hair out and chopped the relaxed hair off after a year.

I have about 3.5 years of natural hair on my head now and I do not think I can take it any more. I *dread* the thought of washing and styling it. I have so much hair that I can barely get to my scalp while washing. I have tried sections and it just all takes too much time, because of the amount of hair I have combined with it's dryness and tightness of curl.

It takes me 4-5 hours from wash to finish to do anything with my hair. I can't take it! I have just been flat ironing it straight for months now, but that means I am a hostage on humid days, rainy days, it's like being controlled by my hair.

I also dread exercising because I feel like I will be "punished" with hours of hair work after the fact.

I remember my relaxed days with great fondness now- I really never thought much about my hair. I would just wash and flat iron once a week and carry on with my life. Now that I'm out of college the financial aspect of relaxing is not an issue.

I hate to give up on my natural hair- but I feel like it's taking over my lifestyle! I have tried so so so so many products, but the only thing that ever works for not having to do my hair constantly is two-strand twists- but those take forever for me to do!

I am attaching a photo- the left is my hair wet, before detangling (which takes forever) and this was washed after being straight. So After detangling it will be a 100x more curly and when it dries it shrinks all the way to my ears. I do love my hair, I just cannot deal with the time it demands of me. I get my ends trimmed regularly and live next door to natural hair shops and stylists. The right photo is after I detangle, blow dry, and flat iron.

I have been thinking about relaxing so much these days. If you have gone back to relaxing, how was that for you?

I don't have any advice as to going from natural to relaxed but you and your hair are GORGEOUS!!

relax ....don't relax

Hair will be as stressful as you want it to be.

But if you have too much hair, you could investigate cutting out some of the bulk, and/or cutting some length.

HHJ

You transitioned before, no decision is permanent.

UR hair is beautiful. I have no suggestions for u other than do what makes u happy. I wouldn't relax though.

also your hair is lovely.

your hair is beautiful curly and straight. What about buns an updos when your hair is curly?

Im seeing quite a few ladies with long natural hair that complain of the time it takes to do everything !!! makes me kinda apprehensive about my ultimate hair goal on MBL

I'm in the same boat as you..I have so much hair on my head right now that its ridiculous..So far this month I have been pressing it and I have been happy, but I dont think I would ever relax again but I am going to give the BKT a try.

Damaged but not out said:

relax ....don't relax

Hair will be as stressful as you want it to be.

But if you have too much hair, you could investigate cutting out some of the bulk, and/or cutting some length.

HHJ

You transitioned before, no decision is permanent.

Click to expand...

The bolded is what I did when I felt that my hair was taking too much time to wash and style. Cutting about 6" of my hair made a world of difference and now I can wash and detangle hair in 15 minutes; style my hair in under and hour.

My journey was to grow my hair as long as possible, but the longer it got, the more shrinkage and tangles I got, along with lengthy sessions of detangling and styling and I got to the point where I wasn't liking my hair.

After cutting I now love my hair again because I am not a slave to lenthy hair washing days.

If you were to explore more natural styles like twists, twist outs, wash-n-goes, then maybe intense work outs and rainy days would be less drama for you as a natural. But if you are primarily wearing it straight and don't want to wear natural styles, then relax. The points you make about working out and rainy days make a lot of sense if you are maintaining a straight style.

Whatever you decide, your hair looks beautiful curly or straight

That's exactly how I felt so after almost 3 years of being natural I texlaxed 3 months ago. Been loving my hair much more ever since

I texlaxed after 3 years natural and loved being able to go from straight to wavy to curly. Then I missed the bulk of my natural hair so I transitioned and went back to being kinky and curly and that's how I wear it now.

If I wanted to relax again I would do it in a minute. Either way I do not let my hair stop me from working out, swimming or going in the rain.

Just do whatever fits your lifestyle and feels good to you. Like someone above mentioned your hairstyle doesn't have to be permanent.

If you block some time to wash/dc your hair (once a week or once every two weeks), I'm sure the detangling "time" could be alleviated. Another thing you can do is spritz your hair with water once you're finished exercising so that you don't have to completely wash your hair; but, you will feel cleaner later.

I can't tell you what to do since I'm newly natural. But, I have a lot of hair as well. Regardless, hair takes time and effort. Nothing's ever truly easy.

Wow! You are all amazing- thank you so much for your thoughts and support!!!

I have wondered if there was a way to cut down on the bulk of hair that I have- not just cutting all of it shorter, but maybe a thinning process?

I have heard that thinning haircuts don't work nicely on my texture though.

I *really* appreciate all of you!

a member hair who is also a youtuber got this(the thinning) done, fair-skin from ATL...

off to search.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxTFytZfAW0&list=UUX8Gp92QK6e7wvHyBvuBynQ&index=9

Try prepooing or dcing before washing to soften and make it easier to detangle

Your hair is beautiful and I'm sure it would look gorgeous with whatever you decide to do...

Just curious, why is your hair wet before you detangle?

Have you thought about texturizing or texlaxing? Your hair is beatiful curly and I would hate to see you give that up! Texturizing/texlaxing IMO is the best of both worlds. You'll still be able to wear your hair curly but it will be more manageable/less time consuming/less shrinkage.

ChocolatePie777 said:

Try prepooing or dcing before washing to soften and make it easier to detangle

Click to expand...

Thanks! Do you have any product recommendations?

manter26 said:

Your hair is beautiful and I'm sure it would look gorgeous with whatever you decide to do...

Just curious, why is your hair wet before you detangle?

Click to expand...

Thank you! I believe I had conditioner in my hair and was letting it sit in for a while before rinsing it out and detangling at that point. I went from straight hair to washing and when I am reaching my scalp (I have a super dry/flakey scalp), my hair gets even more tangled in the process. If you have any tips, let me know!

Amerie2304 said:

Have you thought about texturizing or texlaxing? Your hair is beatiful curly and I would hate to see you give that up! Texturizing/texlaxing IMO is the best of both worlds. You'll still be able to wear your hair curly but it will be more manageable/less time consuming/less shrinkage.

Click to expand...

Thank you! I am not familiar with texturizing. I have heard about it of course, but never truly looked into it as an option. I will check out the possibilities there

I would detangle with the conditioner in my hair instead of rinsing it out, trust me it's a lot easier and I bet it would cut down the amount of time when you do this.

emh772 said:

Thanks! Do you have any product recommendations?



Thank you! I believe I had conditioner in my hair and was letting it sit in for a while before rinsing it out and detangling at that point. I went from straight hair to washing and when I am reaching my scalp (I have a super dry/flakey scalp), my hair gets even more tangled in the process. If you have any tips, let me know!

Click to expand...

Oh ok. I thought you meant wet with just water which can be a nightmare for anyone. I don't really have any advice. I have a lot of hair but it's not as long as yours. IDK how I'll feel when my hair reaches your length. I think things in general turned around for me when I stopped obsessing about detangling. If there's one thing that I know to be true about my hair it's that it will not loc...I've tried it's just too fine. So if I don't get to a tangle today, I can get to it another time. I don't stress about detangling. I run my fingers through my hair in the shower...it takes about 10 mins at most then I move on. I detangle with a shower comb and denman brush a few times a year and I haven't noticed any problems yet.

ETA: Right now I'm wearing mini braids like in my siggie, but smaller. I did not use a comb or brush to detangle prior (it had been 2-3 months since I used a comb and I wear mostly wngs). I didn't run into any problems or tangles that my hands couldn't handle while braiding.

emh772 said:

Wow! You are all amazing- thank you so much for your thoughts and support!!!

I have wondered if there was a way to cut down on the bulk of hair that I have- not just cutting all of it shorter, but maybe a thinning process?

I have heard that thinning haircuts don't work nicely on my texture though.

I *really* appreciate all of you!

Click to expand...

Your hair is lovely! I would also suggest getting it thinned out. I know on NC.com, that some ladies recommended the carve and slice I think it's called? Someone correct me if I'm wrong. It can take out some of the bulk and thickness without you losing length.

I was nautral for almost 6yrs before I decided to texlax. At 1st I had regrets but then I really started to love it. It would take me HOURS to do my hair and it kept matting. But now that I am texlax, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Every now and then my hair might start to tangle and mat but its not nearly as bad as when I was natural.

I hope you come up with a decision that works for you and your lifestyle. Good Luck w/ your decision.

natural_one said:

I'm in the same boat as you..I have so much hair on my head right now that its ridiculous..So far this month I have been pressing it and I have been happy, but I dont think I would ever relax again but I am going to give the BKT a try.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I think a BKT might be your best option since it's not permanent. You can "test the waters" and see if it makes your life easier, before relaxing.

Thank you all for your advice! I am googling/searching a bunch!

oh my word!! Your curls are adorable!

hey i relaxed after 3 years of being natural. it was great when i was keeping it up but i didn't like the process of doing touch up so i am transitioning back to natural. i would suggest cutting the hair off to a manageable length over permanently relaxing the hair first. you will still have issues with relaxed hair, they will just be different.

I am in a similar boat. Have been natural for 4.5 years. Almost waist length. I am either going to texlax for do a keratin smoothing treatment. Just made a consultation appt for next week.

I relaxed mine after 27 months after a BC. I love it. I will BC again in a year or so, so do whatever makes you happy.