Relaxed Hair Thread

Renewed1 · Jul 8, 2013

Jewell Dang girl what happened!?! Did I miss something?

Jewell said:
This is what I have to say to those who have a problem with women who chemically process their hair:

Uh, I love myself just fine, and for me being relaxed is a CONVENIENCE choice, not one that means I'm ashamed of my natural hair. Puhleese. These militant naturals who have transitioned were often relaxed or texturized once themselves. Otherwise, there would be NO transition or BC. So let's not act brand new and holier than thou...like you have never put a chemical in your hair. Get over yourself. Don't get me started on that b.s.

And the ones talking **** about relaxed heads get the middle finger on that note, real talk...you a non-mf'ing factor when it comes to judging other people and their choices!! your opinion does not matter to me in the most minute sense of things.

@AlliCat Anywho, yes I use products marketed for natural or curly hair. I prefer the ingredients and the ones I used while natural we're not going in the trash just because I decided to relax.

naija24 · Jul 8, 2013

Anyone ever do a personal challenge where they just gave up relaxers for an indefinite period of time and then relaxed again (not transitioning)?

I feel like i had relaxers every 5-6 months as a kid and it wasn't a big deal.

Also to Jewell, I feel this way all the time. It's just hair. People will find any way they can to make someone feel ugly or less than.

Cattypus1 · Jul 8, 2013

naija24 said:
Anyone ever do a personal challenge where they just gave up relaxers for an indefinite period of time and then relaxed again (not transitioning)?

I feel like i had relaxers every 5-6 months as a kid and it wasn't a big deal.

Also to Jewell, I feel this way all the time. It's just hair. People will find any way they can to make someone feel ugly or less than.

Yes, I did a 6-month stretch last year. It was not cute and I wouldn't stretch that long again. Judging from the way my hair looks now (13 weeks post) I think 16 will be my max if I can make it. The 6 months was good for my hair though.

naija24 · Jul 8, 2013

Cattypus1, how did you stretch that long? Did you use any PS in particular?

Cattypus1 · Jul 8, 2013

naija24 said:
Cattypus1, how did you stretch that long? Did you use any PS in particular?

I'm in a Twistout 90% of the time. It was easier during the fall and winter months for me because my styles lasted longer without the summertime sweating. I'm really struggling now because I sweat heavily in my head. I found some new products and I began using henna regularly which seems to loosen my curl patterns some. I tried bunning but I have some crazy gray at my temples that looks just mean when I try to pull my hair back.

naija24 · Jul 8, 2013

Cattypus1 said:
I'm in a Twistout 90% of the time. It was easier during the fall and winter months for me because my styles lasted longer without the summertime sweating. I'm really struggling now because I sweat heavily in my head. I found some new products and I began using henna regularly which seems to loosen my curl patterns some. I tried bunning but I have some crazy gray at my temples that looks just mean when I try to pull my hair back.

yeah, I sweat my bum off when exercising so there's no point to straightening my hair right now. I want to avoid both heat and relaxers for the next two seasons. twistouts would be awfully cute.

If come December I reeeeeally want to relax, I'll go ahead and do it.

Cattypus1 · Jul 8, 2013

naija24 said:
yeah, I sweat my bum off when exercising so there's no point to straightening my hair right now. I want to avoid both heat and relaxers for the next two seasons. twistouts would be awfully cute.

If come December I reeeeeally want to relax, I'll go ahead and do it.

Good luck...I use straws on my ends to keep the ends from being bone straight.

Cattypus1 · Jul 8, 2013

naija24 said:
yeah, I sweat my bum off when exercising so there's no point to straightening my hair right now. I want to avoid both heat and relaxers for the next two seasons. twistouts would be awfully cute.

If come December I reeeeeally want to relax, I'll go ahead and do it.

January 2013

pre_medicalrulz · Jul 8, 2013

Cattypus1 said:
View attachment 216599

January 2013

Oh yeah. You got some serious NG. It looks soft and manageable though. :yep:

SunySydeofLyfe · Jul 9, 2013

pre_medicalrulz said:
Oh yeah. You got some serious NG. It looks soft and manageable though.

And its pretty too!!!

Suny

Jewell · Jul 9, 2013

Renewed1

Well, what had happened was...pre_medicalrulz noted how she saw in another thread natural heads stating that because we choose to relax our hair, "we don't love ourselves." So since I have come across this same attitude from naturals over chemically processed hair both here on LHCF and on other sites, and have grown steadily tired of it, I thought I would make a comment about what I think of what they have to say. They need to take that militant natural b.s. back over to nappturality.com

THAT is where a lot of this online natural vs. relaxed head beefing originated when I first joined LHCF in 2005. At that time, I ventured into attempting my first transition. Well, I went over to nappturality.com to get tips and general info, as most of the women on LHCF were relaxed at that time. The hatefulness towards relaxed hair and people who relax their hair was downright repulsive (on napp.com).

Due to these hateful attitudes, I will be going into lurk mode and not posting much here. :ohwell:

I can't stand hateful BLACK women who are always against each other and always throwing little fire bombs instead of coming together for common interests...like hair care and hair maintenance. I lurk a lot on other sites, and I must admit, the love and comeraderie on those hair care sites of "other persuasions" is quite refreshing and I spend more time there than I do here. :yep:

I don't see the hatefulness, the spitefulness and the cattiness there that I have noticed on LHCF for the last few years. Maybe it is due to the younger age group on this site. And don't get me started on blackhairmedia.com. There was a general population of older, more mature women when I first joined. Though I expect the site to evolve and change over time, I don't appreciate the stupidity and would rather spend my online leisure time in a more uplifting and positive place.

I have also noticed people will PM me for tips and ask me questions, then when I answer, they don't have the decency to say thank you or acknowledge receipt of the info. So from now on, I think I'm just gonna ignore PM's unless it's from people I know.

Typically, it's ones I don't know who ask. :look:

I guess you asking because you like my hair or need help, but that is just like a nicca to ask and not say thank you when they receive. :lol:

Don't take this the wrong way, I love to offer advice when asked, and help ppl when I can. That's just my nature. But don't ask me what I do, then turn your nose up at the advice just cuz my hair is relaxed or my skin is a certain tone. That's that **** I DON'T LIKE. But alas, ppl will be ppl and that is also why I keep to myself IRL too.

{Stepping off soapbox now}

naija24

Yah, I agree thanks for your response. It is just hair, but to me, being a person who is quite analytical and observant, it goes back to slave days...massa putting us against each other because we are weaker divided than we are together. idk i just feel this mentality is prevalant for a reason...its like some natural heads think they are better or something.

I didnt feel better than women who chemically process their hair, or anything when I went natural--it was just a lifestyle choice at the time. I don't usually let it get to me, but I just figure enough is enough and I felt like letting these relaxed head haters know just how insignificant they are to me. :lachen:

Instead of spreading hatefulness on this site, they need to throw that salt elsewhere. Black women have enough probs in society than to have their own sisters against them online as well in a community FOR US and other women of color. Just my OP.

But as for your hair question, I have done a couple 6 month stretches just to thicken my hair.

bebezazueta · Jul 9, 2013

Jewell don't leave us please! Just stay in the relaxed hair threads. Nothing but positivity & love up in here up in here.

Jewell · Jul 9, 2013

bebezazueta said:
Jewell don't leave us please! Just stay in the relaxed hair threads. Nothing but positivity & love up in here up in here.

Aww, thanks!! You know that was just what I was thinking! I often think about going into lurk mode but i stay posting due to my cool sisters on here. That is what I will do--just stick to the threads and thread leaders I know. You're gonna see the ignorant comment here and there, and that doesn't phase me. It's the so-called "movement" some are conducting that is negating relaxing one's hair, or doing anything to it besides letting it go natural and dred up. :lol:

They
act like combing, or "washing with the white man's products" are a sin against God Himself too. :lachen:

that's the militant naturalism (<not a word)/extremism that I detest. It's a lifestyle choice to be relaxed, natural, texlaxed, texturized, etc, and IMO unless you are that person, you can't rightfully judge.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone..." Lol this is hair we talking but unless you have been 100% organic and vegan since birth, you using chemicals on your skin, body, and hair daily in the form of toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner (most commercial brands), mouthwash, hair dye, etc. that's all I'm saying about the "holier than thou ness" a lot of these natural chicks have once they see a few coils pop. :lachen:

Ok I can cut up when I want to now...lemme stop

Saludable84 · Jul 9, 2013

Jewell,

I totally agree on every level. I never knew the relaxed versus natural existed until LHCF. When I was on black hair media or planet or whatever, one of the mods there (who is a mod here too I believe and on Hairlista) was involved in the cattiness and relaxed vs. natural bullcaca. It's just silly to me. Take a doctor for example. Some women prefer men doctors, some women prefer women. It's your decision, so why it is someone else's problem.

I don't even bother lurking anymore. I have too much positivity and goodness about myself to even want to see what these women are saying. Most of their posts are PULSING with angry energy, so clearly they live an angry life. #kanyeshrugs all we can do is pray that they one day find peace within themselves.

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

sunnieb · Jul 9, 2013

Jewell I feel ya. Matter of fact, around 2010-2011, I'd had it with that attitude!

But guess what I did? I created a butt load of threads that started like this "Relaxed Heads: <insert random question here>". Some of those threads still pop up today! :giggle:

I challenge my relaxed sistas to unite and post!

Me and my relaxed hurr ain't going no where! Bwahaahahahahaha!

SunySydeofLyfe · Jul 9, 2013

Saludable84 said:
Jewell,

I totally agree on every level. I never knew the relaxed versus natural existed until LHCF. When I was on black hair media or planet or whatever, one of the mods there (who is a mod here too I believe and on Hairlista) was involved in the cattiness and relaxed vs. natural bullcaca. It's just silly to me. Take a doctor for example. Some women prefer men doctors, some women prefer women. It's your decision, so why it is someone else's problem.

I don't even bother lurking anymore. I have too much positivity and goodness about myself to even want to see what these women are saying. Most of their posts are PULSING with angry energy, so clearly they live an angry life. #kanyeshrugs all we can do is pray that they one day find peace within themselves.

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

This was me. I was a bhm junkie...was a member both here and there...when i found this site years ago i wasn't a believer and didn't become active until a few years ago. It was such a sweet peace over here and bhm was turning into a bunch of catty mess...nowadays I'm starting to see the same trend here but I'm choosing to avoid it. Read and post what i want and avoid the others. Jewell....I've starting stalking you among others please don't go a chic needs to read about healthy relaxed journeys to stay motivated

Suny

Jewell · Jul 9, 2013

Saludable84
Amen is all I can say! I've seen the mods on those sites create much of the angst. Sad, sad, sad. #Kanyeshrug indeed, :yep:

people get all kinda ballz when they are online...yet you see em in the street and they aren't all loud with the b.s. then :lachen:

I call it keyboard courage.

sunnieb

Lol gurl I heard dat! And I noticed you were creating a lot of threads back then...I was lurking a lot then and reading them, or going months between log-ins here due to a crazy school and work schedule. I know that's right...my hair will stay relaxed until I, and I ALONE decide to do otherwise. If I am the last person on planet Earth with relaxed hair, I would not feel any kind of way about it because of what others say...it's simply what is best for my current lifestyle.

I do enjoy the positivity in the relaxed threads and product threads. Even a lot of the challenges are great and there is good support surrounding them...but you do have that b.s. or troll every now and then...but hey, that's life. #Idigress

Jewell · Jul 9, 2013

SunySydeofLyfe

Thanks chica...I left BHM in 2004! I can't imagine what it is like these days. Smh i have seen enough positivity outweigh the bad so I have decided I will stick around and just k.i.m. when it comes to the other mess. For the most part, I spend a lot of time here because I do like what I see and I enjoy posting when I can.

Guinan · Jul 9, 2013

Jewell said:
Renewed1

Well, what had happened was...pre_medicalrulz noted how she saw in another thread natural heads stating that because we choose to relax our hair, "we don't love ourselves." So since I have come across this same attitude from naturals over chemically processed hair both here on LHCF and on other sites, and have grown steadily tired of it, I thought I would make a comment about what I think of what they have to say. They need to take that militant natural b.s. back over to nappturality.com

THAT is where a lot of this online natural vs. relaxed head beefing originated when I first joined LHCF in 2005. At that time, I ventured into attempting my first transition. Well, I went over to nappturality.com to get tips and general info, as most of the women on LHCF were relaxed at that time. The hatefulness towards relaxed hair and people who relax their hair was downright repulsive (on napp.com).

Due to these hateful attitudes, I will be going into lurk mode and not posting much here. I can't stand hateful BLACK women who are always against each other and always throwing little fire bombs instead of coming together for common interests...like hair care and hair maintenance. I lurk a lot on other sites, and I must admit, the love and comeraderie on those hair care sites of "other persuasions" is quite refreshing and I spend more time there than I do here.

I don't see the hatefulness, the spitefulness and the cattiness there that I have noticed on LHCF for the last few years. Maybe it is due to the younger age group on this site. And don't get me started on blackhairmedia.com. There was a general population of older, more mature women when I first joined. Though I expect the site to evolve and change over time, I don't appreciate the stupidity and would rather spend my online leisure time in a more uplifting and positive place.

I have also noticed people will PM me for tips and ask me questions, then when I answer, they don't have the decency to say thank you or acknowledge receipt of the info. So from now on, I think I'm just gonna ignore PM's unless it's from people I know.

Typically, it's ones I don't know who ask. I guess you asking because you like my hair or need help, but that is just like a nicca to ask and not say thank you when they receive. Don't take this the wrong way, I love to offer advice when asked, and help ppl when I can. That's just my nature. But don't ask me what I do, then turn your nose up at the advice just cuz my hair is relaxed or my skin is a certain tone. That's that **** I DON'T LIKE. But alas, ppl will be ppl and that is also why I keep to myself IRL too.

{Stepping off soapbox now}

naija24

Yah, I agree thanks for your response. It is just hair, but to me, being a person who is quite analytical and observant, it goes back to slave days...massa putting us against each other because we are weaker divided than we are together. idk i just feel this mentality is prevalant for a reason...its like some natural heads think they are better or something.

I didnt feel better than women who chemically process their hair, or anything when I went natural--it was just a lifestyle choice at the time. I don't usually let it get to me, but I just figure enough is enough and I felt like letting these relaxed head haters know just how insignificant they are to me. Instead of spreading hatefulness on this site, they need to throw that salt elsewhere. Black women have enough probs in society than to have their own sisters against them online as well in a community FOR US and other women of color. Just my OP.

But as for your hair question, I have done a couple 6 month stretches just to thicken my hair.

Very well put! I have the same sentiments. I have know idea what's going on around here, but I've been seeing soooo many threads pop up w/ basically throwing shade to relaxed/texlax hair and on the off topic the debate over light vs dark skinned women. It's becoming annoying and very high school. Like I can always tell whose pics/threads will def get responses & "thanked". Like Ill see pics of relaxed heads w/ very nice hairstyles w/ no one or minimum thanks/responses but the minute a natural head posts a pic it's immediately acknowledged & thanked regardless if it looks a hot mess :nono:

I wasn't going to Renew my membership but I do enjoy some of the postings & helping people &, for me, that's outweighs the negative people/haters on this board.

Guinan · Jul 9, 2013

sunnieb said:
Jewell I feel ya. Matter of fact, around 2010-2011, I'd had it with that attitude!

But guess what I did? I created a butt load of threads that started like this "Relaxed Heads: <insert random question here>". Some of those threads still pop up today!

I challenge my relaxed sistas to unite and post!

Me and my relaxed hurr ain't going no where! Bwahaahahahahaha!

YAASSSS

:bouncegre :weird:

Relaxed & Proud!! :grin:

miracles11 · Jul 10, 2013

Just pokin my head in here to say hello. Yes plenty of relaxed heads who quietly enjoy it and do not participate in the natural hair debates. Here here for us quiet folk :yawn:

EnExitStageLeft · Jul 10, 2013

pelohello said:
Very well put! I have the same sentiments. I have know idea what's going on around here, but I've been seeing soooo many threads pop up w/ basically throwing shade to relaxed/texlax hair and on the off topic the debate over light vs dark skinned women. It's becoming annoying and very high school. Like I can always tell whose pics/threads will def get responses & "thanked". Like Ill see pics of relaxed heads w/ very nice hairstyles w/ no one or minimum thanks/responses but the minute a natural head posts a pic it's immediately acknowledged & thanked regardless if it looks a hot mess

I wasn't going to Renew my membership but I do enjoy some of the postings & helping people &, for me, that's outweighs the negative people/haters on this board.

YOU SAID A MOUTH FULL THERE HUNTI!

One of my coworkers tried that when she first went natural. Po' lil tink tink she didn't even know what hit her. I schooled her on all things hair health and even gave her a few tips for the heat damage she was obviously suffering from

.

Ive been there, done that, and it was cool. But I grew tired of it, creamy cracked my hair down and have been swangin' err' since. I love my mane, I just hope with all that "natural pride" talk that they love theirs' too. However their obsession with me texturizing suggest something completely different :yep:

.

Jewell · Jul 10, 2013

pelohello

Yass indeed, chyle you said dat right dere. I am sick of the team light-skinned vs. team dark-skinned and team natural vs. relaxed b.s. I posted a rant about it on Facebook a few years ago because ppl on there hate as well due to your complexion and hair status. Ugh...sick of the slave mentality in general. Thanks so much for your input! :yep:

EnExitStageLeft

These natural heads be the ones asking for tips on the slick, even though I'm relaxed and don't even like to offer a compliment where one is due! I notice that in general though! I'm of the mindset that is something or someone deserves a compliment or "thanks" I will most definitely offer it. I'm not a hater. Lol those poor lil tink tinks mad about themselves and who are terribly insecure just make be smdh. :lol:

it really is sad, dahling

My thing is, if they stop hating and giving the stank eye/side eye long enough and they might learn how to handle that h.a.m. on top of their heads!! A hot tangly, dry, poofy mess, yet everybody acts like its cute and right just cuz it's natural. Uh, no. :lachen:

RODI · Jul 10, 2013

That is why Relaxed Heads need their own board on lhcf. We stay out of their business and they stay out of ours. Problem solved.

Navigating this hair board to find relaxed related threads only has become too time consuming, or when you in a thread of interest navigating to find relaxed only posts. Aint nobody got time for that lol.

That's why im hardly ever online and just stick to threads I'm subscribed through email updates. I feel so lost when I do come back online to find all sorts of new methods, abbreviations and fads im in the dark about.

Shinka · Jul 10, 2013

I've returned to the dark side. The land of creamy crack ( just kidding. In lieu of the convo, I don't see relaxers or those who use them as bad)

Anywho, I ended my last attempt to go natural. I did a complete BC in Dec, but I need more manageable hair with my lifestyle. I relaxed my 3 inches of growth with Mizani butter blends. For fine/color treated. Although I used the full time allotted 18-20 min, my hair has a lot of the texture left. I like it, so I guess I'm more texlaxed than relaxed. I'm about to roller set, here is my hair wet with no product.

mschristine · Jul 10, 2013

I love my relaxed hair..it's easier for me to maintain than my natural hair. Why can't it be as simple as that? I must hate myself because I relax my hair? That's crazy talk, nobody loves me more than me

Guinan · Jul 10, 2013

Shinka said:
I've returned to the dark side. The land of creamy crack ( just kidding. In lieu of the convo, I don't see relaxers or those who use them as bad)

Anywho, I ended my last attempt to go natural. I did a complete BC in Dec, but I need more manageable hair with my lifestyle. I relaxed my 3 inches of growth with Mizani butter blends. For fine/color treated. Although I used the full time allotted 18-20 min, my hair has a lot of the texture left. I like it, so I guess I'm more texlaxed than relaxed. I'm about to roller set, here is my hair wet with no product.

Welcome back to the relaxed side :drunk:

fellow Philly gal.

Shinka · Jul 10, 2013

So that roller set was HAM. I have to learn to roller set texlaxed hair. It kept shrinking on the roller. I sat under the hooded dryer and followed with a flat iron. I have to wear my hair in flat twist because my hair is creating this awful layered look since its all the same length. See...

My solution is to wear it in variations of this style until it grows out

mshoneyfly · Jul 11, 2013

Shinka

Thats a very cute style! Im inspired. Im transitioning to texturized and mY hair is at an awkward length, too. Is that an under braid? (Thats what we called them in Chicago) :look:

Saludable84 · Jul 11, 2013

Shinka said:
So that roller set was HAM. I have to learn to roller set texlaxed hair. It kept shrinking on the roller. I sat under the hooded dryer and followed with a flat iron. I have to wear my hair in flat twist because my hair is creating this awful layered look since its all the same length. See...

My solution is to wear it in variations of this style until it grows out

I just use smaller sized rollers for hair and pull it extra tight. That's the only way I get my hair straight and its still kinda wavy. Try pulling the rollers tighter and put that flat iron down

you thank me later.

Cute protective style too!

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

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