What went wrong with my hair?

L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
Hi everyone,

I'm really having a hard time accepting what happened to my hair, so I'm hoping to get some insight here. I used to have a lot of hair but I was never able to get past shoulder length until 3 years ago when I finally reached APL after taking better care of my hair for a year. I've been getting my relaxers from the same stylist for the past 5 years and I started noticing how every year my hair became thinner and thinner. A few months ago I let her give me a permanent hair color 2 weeks after my relaxer and I lost about half of my entire hair volume. I now have places where my hair is 1 to 2 inches long and I have to spray them so that they don't stick up. My whole hair is now so thin that it is see through so I can't even wear it out anymore. What did I do wrong? Was the hair color not done properly? I went back to the same stylist 2 months after the hair color to get a relaxer touch up and she was like: Wow, your hair really took a beating... I had never seen your hair like this. I didn't know what to make of it since my hair took the beating after she worked on it? I'm now attempting to do a long relaxer stretch to see if things improve but that color fiasco set me back at least 3 years. I'm also looking for a new stylist and will never attempt permanent hair color again to cover my grays. Thanks for any advice.
 
B

blessedandlucky

Well-Known Member
i'm sorry you're going through this.

how frequently did you get relaxers? i wonder if there was too much overlap. also, check to make sure that the strength being used was needed. it may have been too strong. i think that color can be fine, but it's such a delicate balance. i think 2 weeks may have been too soon, although i realize that's very common - 2 weeks or more.

what products are you using? what are you doing in between appointments? how's your nutrition? exercising? have you experienced excessive stress or any life altering events - like deaths, moves, changes in significant relationships or job changes, etc?

i know waiting is hard, but right now you can only move forward. stay positive. it's hair. it'll be back. also, stay present and don't spend too much time thinking about where your hair "should" be.
 
HairPleezeGrow

HairPleezeGrow

Natural.MediumFine.3c.
Lisawantslonghair said:
Hi everyone,

I'm really having a hard time accepting what happened to my hair, so I'm hoping to get some insight here. I used to have a lot of hair but I was never able to get past shoulder length until 3 years ago when I finally reached APL after taking better care of my hair for a year. I've been getting my relaxers from the same stylist for the past 5 years and I started noticing how every year my hair became thinner and thinner. A few months ago I let her give me a permanent hair color 2 weeks after my relaxer and I lost about half of my entire hair volume. I now have places where my hair is 1 to 2 inches long and I have to spray them so that they don't stick up. My whole hair is now so thin that it is see through so I can't even wear it out anymore. What did I do wrong? Was the hair color not done properly? I went back to the same stylist 2 months after the hair color to get a relaxer touch up and she was like: Wow, your hair really took a beating... I had never seen your hair like this. I didn't know what to make of it since my hair took the beating after she worked on it? I'm now attempting to do a long relaxer stretch to see if things improve but that color fiasco set me back at least 3 years. I'm also looking for a new stylist and will never attempt permanent hair color again to cover my grays. Thanks for any advice.
Click to expand...

It seems your hair was becoming thinner b4 the color from what I'm reading. Have you always relaxed? Or did you start 5 years ago? What's your regi? What products do you use and how often? Maybe take a look at the different henna threads for info on possibly doing henna instead of color. As far as relaxing I cannot give any advice so maybe some of the other ladies will chime in. Possibly a long stretch would help.

HPG

Don't judge...Sent from my Galaxy Note II using LHCF
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
blessedandlucky said:
i'm sorry you're going through this.

how frequently did you get relaxers? i wonder if there was too much overlap. also, check to make sure that the strength being used was needed. it may have been too strong. i think that color can be fine, but it's such a delicate balance. i think 2 weeks may have been too soon, although i realize that's very common - 2 weeks or more.

what products are you using? what are you doing in between appointments? how's your nutrition? exercising? have you experienced excessive stress or any life altering events - like deaths, moves, changes in significant relationships or job changes, etc?

i know waiting is hard, but right now you can only move forward. stay positive. it's hair. it'll be back. also, stay present and don't spend too much time thinking about where your hair "should" be.
Click to expand...


Thank you. I've always had my relaxers every 8 weeks or so. There haven't been any changes in my life and I try to exercise 3 times a week, eat well, and take a multi-vitamin. I've done a couple of the Aphogee 2-step treatments and I've also started using Castor, Coconut, olive and Rosemary oils. I've been doing a deep conditioner once a week and I plan to start co-washing once in between. I don't know if there is anything else I should be doing but I'm having a hard time staying positive, I'm trying though.
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
HairPleezeGrow said:
It seems your hair was becoming thinner b4 the color from what I'm reading. Have you always relaxed? Or did you start 5 years ago? What's your regi? What products do you use and how often? Maybe take a look at the different henna threads for info on possibly doing henna instead of color. As far as relaxing I cannot give any advice so maybe some of the other ladies will chime in. Possibly a long stretch would help.

HPG

Don't judge...Sent from my Galaxy Note II using LHCF
Click to expand...

Thanks a lot. I've been relaxed since I was 12, and my hair started thinning 5 years ago. Now that I've been reading more about hair, I think my stylist combing my hair all the time with one of those fine toothed little combs caused a lot of damage. I also wore a weave for about a year and every 6 weeks she would take it out, give me a relaxer touch up, braid my hair again right away and put the weave back on. My hair has never recovered from that and I'm only now finding out that that was a big no no. I will look into the henna once my hair gets better.
 
faithVA

faithVA

Well-Known Member
^^I think you started to experience hormonal changes as you were aging and you were relaxing too closely together. 8 weeks was not long enough to allow your scalp to do what it needed to do. Even though the relaxer is not on your scalp, it still stresses not only the hair but the scalp. You had a chemical overload.

Stretching your relaxers is a good start but you need to get something to detox your scalp. I don't know what age you are but you may need to start looking at a fuller array of vitamins (b-complex, iron, etc). It might not hurt to see a doctor to get a blood panel to see what your levels are.

If you aren't wearing your hair out, you may want to stay away from the chemicals as long as possible to let things clear up. Once your scalped gets too damaged it can be impossible to regrow hair.
 
HairPleezeGrow

HairPleezeGrow

Natural.MediumFine.3c.
Lisawantslonghair said:
Thanks a lot. I've been relaxed since I was 12, and my hair started thinning 5 years ago. Now that I've been reading more about hair, I think my stylist combing my hair all the time with one of those fine toothed little combs caused a lot of damage. I also wore a weave for about a year and every 6 weeks she would take it out, give me a relaxer touch up, braid my hair again right away and put the weave back on. My hair has never recovered from that and I'm only now finding out that that was a big no no. I will look into the henna once my hair gets better.
Click to expand...

Yes ma'am it definitely sounds like your stylist was processing and manipulating too much too often. I'm glad you had done some research hun and you know what you have to do. It seems you have been doing things right on your own so just keep up with what you are doing and keep taking care of your hair. I think there's a relaxer stretch thread on here also and you may benefit from seeing what those ladies have been doing as far as stretching, etc. There's a lot of gr8 advice you will rcv anf Welcome. :) Please keep us posted on your progress.

HPG

Don't judge...Sent from my Galaxy Note II using LHCF
 
MileHighDiva

MileHighDiva

A+ Hair Care Queen
I'm sorry that this is happening to you! If you continue to relax, please stretch your relaxers at least 12 weeks. You may want to start self relaxing doing one half of your head at a time, so it's not over processed, and your in control of making sure that it's properly neutralized. In addition, you may want to consider listening to your hair and leaving the chemical life, totally.

Here's a link to a member that self relaxes and has healthy relaxed hair. Add her url to your rss feed. http://www.justgrowalready.com/p/how-i-self-relax.html#.Ud8xx_nlY_Y

No more, fine toothed combs or permanent hair color.

I agree with previous post that you probably need to evaluate your diet and vitamin regimen.

What is your regimen at home?

Good luck with your recovery from this setback!
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
faithVA said:
^^I think you started to experience hormonal changes as you were aging and you were relaxing too closely together. 8 weeks was not long enough to allow your scalp to do what it needed to do. Even though the relaxer is not on your scalp, it still stresses not only the hair but the scalp. You had a chemical overload.

Stretching your relaxers is a good start but you need to get something to detox your scalp. I don't know what age you are but you may need to start looking at a fuller array of vitamins (b-complex, iron, etc). It might not hurt to see a doctor to get a blood panel to see what your levels are.

If you aren't wearing your hair out, you may want to stay away from the chemicals as long as possible to let things clear up. Once your scalped gets too damaged it can be impossible to regrow hair.
Click to expand...

Thank you Faith. Maybe age had something to do with it, but I'm not too sure because both of my grandmothers and my mother always had a lot of hair just like I used to. The big difference is that my grandmothers never put a relaxer on their heads and my mother started doing her own relaxers many years ago after bad experiences with salons. We live too far from each other for me to have her do mine but I'm even considering going natural.
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
MileHighDiva said:
I'm sorry that this is happening to you! If you continue to relax, please stretch your relaxers at least 12 weeks. You may want to start self relaxing doing one half of your head at a time, so it's not over processed, and your in control of making sure that it's properly neutralized. In addition, you may want to consider listening to your hair and leaving the chemical life, totally.

Here's a link to a member that self relaxes and has healthy relaxed hair. Add her url to your rss feed. http://www.justgrowalready.com/p/how-i-self-relax.html#.Ud8xx_nlY_Y

No more, fine toothed combs or permanent hair color.

I agree with previous post that you probably need to evaluate your diet and vitamin regimen.

What is your regimen at home?

Good luck with your recovery from this setback!
Click to expand...

Thank you Mile. I'm seriously considering going natural since I'm too chicken to do my own relaxers. Thanks for the link, I will consider the two possibilities.
 
curlicarib

curlicarib

Lovin'' All of Me
From what you have described, I think you're having a lot of breakage. I recommend stretching your relaxers, a good dc, a good moisturizing leave in, a good light protein and a light sealing oil. If you can, do easy protective styling - buns, twists, etc. your hair is damaged and needs a break.

Get back to a basic regi for a few weeks and see how it goes.
 
ms.blue

ms.blue

Well-Known Member
It's your stylist. Does she any sort of protective cream on your previous relaxed hair before touching up? There is no reason to relaxed then put a weave right after and like the other ladies suggested, stretching out your relaxer. Also start doing your own hair more because I believe no one is going to treat your hair the best then yourself.
 
M

My Friend

New Member
It's not entirely your stylists fault :nono: you are allowing her to damage your hair. Now that you know better, you' ll do better :yep:

I'm sorry your hair is breaking off. The ladies have all given you some great advice. #1 relax no sooner than 12 weeks. #2 no double processing ( hair color)

If I were you I would go to a super cuts and have Becky or Bob cut off any damaged ends and then I would join the lady P challenge.

Good luck!
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
curlicarib said:
From what you have described, I think you're having a lot of breakage. I recommend stretching your relaxers, a good dc, a good moisturizing leave in, a good light protein and a light sealing oil. If you can, do easy protective styling - buns, twists, etc. your hair is damaged and needs a break.

Get back to a basic regi for a few weeks and see how it goes.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I'm going to try a 6 month stretch, hopefully if I'm careful my hair will not break any further.
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
My Friend said:
It's not entirely your stylists fault :nono: you are allowing her to damage your hair. Now that you know better, you' ll do better :yep:

I'm sorry your hair is breaking off. The ladies have all given you some great advice. #1 relax no sooner than 12 weeks. #2 no double processing ( hair color)

If I were you I would go to a super cuts and have Becky or Bob cut off any damaged ends and then I would join the lady P challenge.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

Sad but true. I wish I had listened to my hair over the past 5 years so that I wouldn't have ended up where I'm now. At least I learned something even though it was the hard way.
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
ms.blue said:
It's your stylist. Does she any sort of protective cream on your previous relaxed hair before touching up? There is no reason to relaxed then put a weave right after and like the other ladies suggested, stretching out your relaxer. Also start doing your own hair more because I believe no one is going to treat your hair the best then yourself.
Click to expand...

Thanks ms. blue. She always based my scalp but my relaxed hair was unprotected. If I decide to get a relaxer again in the future, I will make sure that I prepare my hair before. I'm 9 weeks post relaxer now and I don't plan on letting anybody touch my hair until it's been at least 6 months. I might even go natural at this point.
 
mshoneyfly

mshoneyfly

Well-Known Member
Lisawantslonghair said:
Thank you. I'm going to try a 6 month stretch, hopefully if I'm careful my hair will not break any further.
Click to expand...

Lisawantslonghair
Sorry to read about your setback. It will get better.

I agree with faithVA that you need to detox your scalp and also chelate/clarify. Some good detox products are Shea Moisture Poo and Purification Mask. It detoxes the follicles with willow bark extract. It also leaves the hair super soft, moist and strong. Also, rhossoul and bentonite clays are clarifying and moisturizing.

One good chelating poo is ORS Creamy Aloe; the ORS Replenishing conditioner is a good moisturizing, thickening and strengthening DC.

Since you are thinking about stretching or going natural, cowashing is a great way to manage and keep the NG moisturized. If you're on a budget, VO5 conditioners are cheap and work great.

As far as henna to cover grays while giving you strength, body, bounce and detangling; you cant go wrong. (I add conditioner, oils and sometimes coconut milk for moisture and easy rinsing).

I am texturized and I self relax but I can understand if you dont feel confident enough for that.

Congrats for taking control and responsibility for your own hair. You already have everything you need within to take care of your hair

HHHG!!
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
mshoneyfly said:
@Lisawantslonghair
Sorry to read about your setback. It will get better.

I agree with @faithVA that you need to detox your scalp and also chelate/clarify. Some good detox products are Shea Moisture Poo and Purification Mask. It detoxes the follicles with willow bark extract. It also leaves the hair super soft, moist and strong. Also, rhossoul and bentonite clays are clarifying and moisturizing.

One good chelating poo is ORS Creamy Aloe; the ORS Replenishing conditioner is a good moisturizing, thickening and strengthening DC.

Since you are thinking about stretching or going natural, cowashing is a great way to manage and keep the NG moisturized. If you're on a budget, VO5 conditioners are cheap and work great.

As far as henna to cover grays while giving you strength, body, bounce and detangling; you cant go wrong. (I add conditioner, oils and sometimes coconut milk for moisture and easy rinsing).

I am texturized and I self relax but I can understand if you dont feel confident enough for that.

Congrats for taking control and responsibility for your own hair. You already have everything you need within to take care of your hair

HHHG!!
Click to expand...

Thanks so much. I didn't know about the purification mask, but I think that I really need it. I just looked it up online and it says that the mask helps with scalp irritation and itchiness and my scalp has been itching like crazy for the past two weeks even right after I wash my hair. I will go to the beauty supply tomorrow to see if I can find it and if not I will order it online. I've been thinking about using henna too but I've heard that some people experience breakage with it so I've been doing color rinses, but maybe mixing it with oils and conditioner like you do is the answer.
 
S

Saludable84

Better Late Than Ugly
Lisawantslonghair said:
Thanks ms. blue. She always based my scalp but my relaxed hair was unprotected. If I decide to get a relaxer again in the future, I will make sure that I prepare my hair before. I'm 9 weeks post relaxer now and I don't plan on letting anybody touch my hair until it's been at least 6 months. I might even go natural at this point.
Click to expand...

I think the best alternative is to debate what you want from your hair.

Being natural is not just that easy as a lot of women learn along the way. Being relaxed is not just about straight hair that a lot of women learn along the way. both involve a lot of work.

We all know the main the problem: coloring your hair. To make it worse, it was double processed and you had a stylist you depended on who let you down. Ive been there before so trust me when I say you can't put all the blame in her, but you can put some of it in her. You definitely need to put the hair color away. Ive felt what permanent color makes natural hair feel like, so I can imagine what it can do to relaxed hair.

If you want or are happy with relaxed hair, you don't have to stop relaxing, but there are many women who go natural just to relax later to strengthen and thicken the hair. You could play with that idea. Stretch longer. Or just go natural and take care of your hair.

Tea rinsing works with decreasing shedding and thickening the hair.

At this point (and I have been where you are) find a few blogs, make Youtube and LHCF your best friend and learn to do your own hair. I was at your heartbreaking story about 2 years ago and the signs were there, I just ignored them. You don't need a new stylist, you just need you!
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
Saludable84 said:
I think the best alternative is to debate what you want from your hair.

Being natural is not just that easy as a lot of women learn along the way. Being relaxed is not just about straight hair that a lot of women learn along the way. both involve a lot of work.

We all know the main the problem: coloring your hair. To make it worse, it was double processed and you had a stylist you depended on who let you down. Ive been there before so trust me when I say you can't put all the blame in her, but you can put some of it in her. You definitely need to put the hair color away. Ive felt what permanent color makes natural hair feel like, so I can imagine what it can do to relaxed hair.

If you want or are happy with relaxed hair, you don't have to stop relaxing, but there are many women who go natural just to relax later to strengthen and thicken the hair. You could play with that idea. Stretch longer. Or just go natural and take care of your hair.

Tea rinsing works with decreasing shedding and thickening the hair.

At this point (and I have been where you are) find a few blogs, make Youtube and LHCF your best friend and learn to do your own hair. I was at your heartbreaking story about 2 years ago and the signs were there, I just ignored them. You don't need a new stylist, you just need you!
Click to expand...

Your hair is lovely! It gives me a lot of hope to know that you had the same problem 2 years ago and your hair came back so beautiful. The other day I found a recipe for a tea rinse with rosemary, sage and apple cider vinegar that I'm going to try this week. It is supposed to help with shedding and it also darkens the hair which is a plus for me.

Right now going natural seems so appealing because I'm feeling very paranoid about letting anyone relax my hair again but maybe after the long stretch I'm attempting I will relax if it gets too difficult to deal with my natural hair. I'm so embarrassed about my hair now that I've been keeping it in a bun I'm going to look for some videos on Youtube to learn how to do protective styles that are still fun. Thank you for sharing.
 
Lilmama1011

Lilmama1011

Well-Known Member
Maybe it was Too soon for the color, when I was coloring my hair i waited 4 weeks after a relaxer to get a touch up of color, she told me 3 but I came back at 4 and I waited 4 weeks after color to get a relaxer and 6 weeks to get a relaxer
 
L

Lisawantslonghair

New Member
Lilmama1011 said:
Maybe it was Too soon for the color, when I was coloring my hair i waited 4 weeks after a relaxer to get a touch up of color, she told me 3 but I came back at 4 and I waited 4 weeks after color to get a relaxer and 6 weeks to get a relaxer
Click to expand...

I agree that it was too soon, but just to be safe I won't do permanent colors anymore. I'm going to continue with color rinses until my hair gets stronget and then I will try henna.
 
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