If someone with butt length hair gave you advice....

yuhlovevybz · Aug 25, 2013

Would you take it?

I was out with my friend whose hair is big and wavy and hangs around tbl unstretched. A lady with SL, bleached wurly hair pops up out of nowhere and asked her for hair advice. So my friend explains to her how she does her hair religiously and gives her advice on how to stop her breakage while detangling (only use your fingers). It was a quick and easy regi but the lady kept asking questions and looked soooo confused at 'fingers only' detangling. She kept interrupting with 'can I do this? Can I do that?'

I thought it was weird. How about you ladies? If you walked up to someone who has very long hair that is similar to yours, would you take their advice or be dubious of it?

spacetygrss · Aug 25, 2013

I'm confused. So the woman walked up to your friend and solicited advice and then didn't seem to want to take it? That's ridiculous.

Anyhow, if someone had a similar hair texture and they gave me advice I'd consider it as long as the advice was in the realm of normalcy (i.e. I wouldn't accept their advice if they said to wash with the blood of 2-day old llamas, but I would consider/accept it if they said that they used a certain conditioner or brush, etc).

Dilettante · Aug 25, 2013

It depends. A lot of women with very long hair just seem to have strands that are more durable than mine. They may find that flat ironing twice a day helps them reduce tangles and retain length, but that doesn't mean those methods will work for me.

Lilmama1011 · Aug 25, 2013

I would listen, but not necessarily do what they say if I don't agree or think their regimen is crazy. I do believe if someone gives you advice, you shouldn't be saying "I'm not doing it". Just listen and say thanks and do what you want to do out of what they have said

ckisland · Aug 25, 2013

I would definitely listen, since she's reached a goal I'm trying to achieve. I would rather get advice who's got what I want than someone who doesn't :look:

. Of course, listening to someone's advice doesn't mean that I wouldn't put it in the context of what my hair can and cannot deal with. Though, it seems that the majority of HL-KL ladies of all hair textures pretty much have similar regimens, so I wouldn't be expecting anything crazy :lol:

.

*CherryPie* · Aug 25, 2013

Not necessarily. When I was natural, about a week ago, fingers didn't work for me...or the denman brush. only a wide tooth comb.

Just because she had success with her regimen, doesn't mean it would work for that lady.

There's this thing about long hair. Some people don't have to work hard for it. I never had to work hard for it. It just grew. So, sometimes, people don't trust hair advice because of it.

frizzy · Aug 25, 2013

I'm sure the "finger detangling only" was a hard concept to swallow. I've been on this site for years and I still have issues with it and trying to do it.

DoDo · Aug 25, 2013

1. What was your friend's regimen? (Inquiring minds gotta know! :lachen:

)

2. This has happened to me (random stranger solicits advice then proceeds to look at me crazy when I start listing what I do), which leads me to

3. If you are going to ask, there is no point in asking without an open mind. Everyone's hair is different but if what you have been doing hasn't been working...

MileHighDiva · Aug 25, 2013

OP, was your friend frustrated that someone asked for her regimen then didn't seem receptive to it? The solicitor should have just listened. In the future, your friend should just say "Oh, I use blah blah brand/products" and KIM. Most people only want to know what products your using, they don't understand that technique is more important etc.

Napp · Aug 25, 2013

The texture of that persons hair as well as how they style their hair on a daily basis would be the biggest considering factors for me, not the length.

Saludable84 · Aug 25, 2013

I probably wouldn't even ask, just look and walk away. Today, I told a lady in a tea shop that I use teas for my hair. She smiled and was curious, but you can tell she was skeptical too. Everyone has something they do they might be considered weird or different and when it comes to the funny faces or explaining yourself, you just don't want to at times. I keep my hair talk with hair people and when people ask me questions, my first question is "how serious are you? you want technique or tips?" and thats it. I am all for helping people, believe me, but you have to know something about hair for me to be helping you. You don't have to be an expert, just know something.

I told a friend she was relaxing too often but she still got a relaxer and her hair always looks thin. Ive been telling her for almost 2 years she relaxes too much, but she doesn't listen; then asks me how my hair is so thick and healthy. When she is serious, Ill be serious. Otherwise, my response to her is" I don't carry unicorn dust on me; it already in my DNA" :look:

You gotta focus on the "how" and not "what".

yuhlovevybz · Aug 25, 2013

DoDo said:
1. What was your friend's regimen? (Inquiring minds gotta know!)

2. This has happened to me (random stranger solicits advice then proceeds to look at me crazy when I start listing what I do), which leads me to

3. If you are going to ask, there is no point in asking without an open mind. Everyone's hair is different but if what you have been doing hasn't been working...

For the ladies who said finger detangling wouldn't work for them, I would say the same for my type four hair - however both ladies had similar hair textures. My friends hair is actually coarse to the touch while the ladies looked very silky. She said her hair was coming out in clumps when she brushed it, which is why my friend adviced not to.

My friends advise was very simple; shampoo, condition, then follow with Aussie 3 minute miracle. She detangles with her fingers and then uses mane and tail leave in. She says not the shampoo every day but every other day. She didn't advice cowashing because it could clog follicles (the lady asking didn't seem to like this either). Once a week she uses placenta (in the spray bottle) as a leave in deep conditioner.

yuhlovevybz · Aug 25, 2013

MileHighDiva said:
OP, was your friend frustrated that someone asked for her regimen then didn't seem receptive to it? The solicitor should have just listened. In the future, your friend should just say "Oh, I use blah blah brand/products" and KIM. Most people only want to know what products your using, they don't understand that technique is more important etc.

Not really, she just kind of kept explaining patiently. She said she's actually used to people randomly walking up to her and asking for hair advice so I'm guessing she's heard everything. I figured the asked was curious about products (so was I) as she looked confused again when she mentioned 3 minute miracle, like she was expecting blood of a virgin. :lol:

Lucie · Aug 25, 2013

I'm weird like that. I wouldn't ask anyone for hair advice. I'd just Google it, LOL! If I did I would be open minded about what I was hearing. I think it's rude for a person to offer advice and have the asker interjecting every other sentence.

Also, it could be that she was expecting a really complicated regimen. When it sounds too easy it makes people dubious.

DoDo · Aug 25, 2013

yuhlovevybz said:
Not really, she just kind of kept explaining patiently. She said she's actually used to people randomly walking up to her and asking for hair advice so I'm guessing she's heard everything. I figured the asked was curious about products (so was I) as she looked confused again when she mentioned 3 minute miracle, like she was expecting blood of a virgin.

3 Minute Miracle is better than blood of a virgin...It works! :lachen:

starfish79 · Aug 26, 2013

LOL I always chuckle inside when people ask me how I "get my hair like that" and then stare in disbelief when I tell them my regimen which is stupid simple. I mean, your hair grows how it grows, I can can tell you what works for MY hair however, I make no guarantee that it will work for yours.

Lita · Aug 27, 2013

It all depends...Everyone's texture is different..Ex..My hair hates,I mean hates cold water rinses...It causes tangles for me..So that's a no no & plenty people do them with success..I need warm water...

*Best advice that was ever given from a knee length lady & she said,listen to your hair/pay attention to your scalp/rest will follow...Make sure to leave some conditioner on the lower part of your hair....

Happy Hair Growing!

FlowerHair · Aug 27, 2013

I would rather take advice from someone with long healthy hair than from someone with dry broken hair. Just like I would rather take advice from a person with solid finances than from some broke person lol!

Just tweak the advice to suit your situation.

BEAUTYU2U · Aug 27, 2013

Yes. Of course, don't be an idiot. If your hair obviously hates a certain technique that someone recommends, just omit it from the regimen. After awhile, you notice similarities in long haired ladies' regimens. Consistency is key (and my problem area).

Vintagecoilylocks · Aug 27, 2013

Lilmama1011 said:
I would listen, but not necessarily do what they say if I don't agree or think their regimen is crazy. I do believe if someone gives you advice, you shouldn't be saying "I'm not doing it". Just listen and say thanks and do what you want to do out of what they have said

Especially say Thanks since you are the one who solicited it as the OP said. :yep:

Vshanell · Aug 27, 2013

yuhlovevybz said:
For the ladies who said finger detangling wouldn't work for them, I would say the same for my type four hair - however both ladies had similar hair textures. My friends hair is actually coarse to the touch while the ladies looked very silky. She said her hair was coming out in clumps when she brushed it, which is why my friend adviced not to.

My friends advise was very simple; shampoo, condition, then follow with Aussie 3 minute miracle. She detangles with her fingers and then uses mane and tail leave in. She says not the shampoo every day but every other day. She didn't advice cowashing because it could clog follicles (the lady asking didn't seem to like this either). Once a week she uses placenta (in the spray bottle) as a leave in deep conditioner.

I used to swear by that placenta stuff! But I got scared off from it because of some info I read about on the boards.....I don't even remember what it was.....hormones in it or something, anyway I've been thinking of going back to it recently. It detangles like a dream.

Britt · Aug 27, 2013

Hmmmmm, not necessarily. I know someone with mbl/tailbone hair and she's older with a head of thick, silky, relaxed hair. I couldn't follow her regimen. It wouldn't work for me. She gets a wash and set at most every 2 wks, uses whatever leave in and then a silicone shine spray. She's been using the same 2 products forever. Her hair looks good and healthy but it doesn't feel too soft at all. She is blessed with a beautiful head of hair. Her regi wouldn't work for everyone.

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