Ladies who dye hair PLEASE help

Okay this is going to be a little long... I'm 36 and I have some gray coming out on the sides and top of my head, pretty noticeable at this point esp. with a TWA. I've tried several different options for dyeing it but I keep ending up with an epic FAIL on my head.

I have a TWA so these experiments haven't been catastrophic because I can always cut it again. But now I would like to grow my hair out AND not have gray hair, so I need help from you ladies who have successfully dyed AND maintained the health of your hair...

Here's what I've tried so far:
First I tried multiple combos of henna and indigo over several years, but my hair always ended up a funky color that I hated. I stopped doing this and can't go back.

Then I tried semi-permanent box dye (Clairol Natural Instincts) which was easy enough, but for some reason my grays hairs were dye-resistant and the dye didn't really cover them. What little dye did stay in my hair tended to wash out over the course of a couple weeks.

Then I tried permanent hair dye (at the salon with a knowledgeable stylist) and it worked well but eventually my hair got so brittle that I had to stop and cut off the dyed part. It was really dry and lost its curl pattern and just got frizzy.

So then I tried demi-permanent, ammonia-free hair dye (again, at the salon with a knowledgeable stylist) and I thought I had found my holy grail. I stopped cutting my hair and started to grow out my TWA. But after three dye jobs, each about 8 weeks apart, again I notice that my curl pattern is changing. It's much straighter on top and almost refuses to curl, and then is frizzy and dry in other places. It was starting to look a mess so I just trimmed it to a short TWA again.

But I really do want longer hair! I know everyone's hair is different, but please help if you have suggestions about what I could try... Do I need to just stop dyeing it and deal with gray showing? I feel like no one else my age does that though....

Thanks in advance...

Oh and I forgot to add, doing protein treatments (even followed by deep conditioning) actually seems to make things worse.

I don't have all the answers. Actually I don't have very many at all But I do dye my hair and I don't plan on stopping until my hair is 50% gray. I'm not feeling the gray hair

If you can accept it that is great. I can't help you there

The henna didn't work for me either. My hair was 4 different colors, dark brown, light brown, copper and gray It wasn't working out. Some people use indigo. I haven't tried that, so can't speak for it.

I have tried the semi. It takes everywhere but in the front where I need it. But like you it washes out within a week or two. And it makes my hair feel brittle.

Have tried the demi and the permanent. Right now I am just sticking to the permanent but spreading them out. I did my last permanent in November and will do it again in April. Will probably stick to 3 to 4 times a year if I can last that long.

So my advice if you decide to do the demi or permanent is to
1. Use a keratin protein treatment within 3 to 7 days of doing color to fill in the holes of the cuticle.

2. Dilute your shampoo, use a cleansing conditioner, use black soap or some type of ayurvedic shampoo. Shampoos even natural shampoos dry out color treated hair. I haven't tried shampoos for color treated hair they may work better.

3. Use shampoo less often every other week or once a month.

And then the obvious, up your moisture with DCing, steam, etc.

I have found letting go of the shampoo to be more effective than all the others.

Maybe I should start the support thread for those who color their hair

Thank you faithVA... this is really helpful. I'm not feeling the gray either! I might have to stretch out dyeing and switch to a more gentle cleanser. I use DevaCurl No Poo or Shea Moisture shampoo but both of those leave my hair feeling dry.

Do you re-color your entire head or just the new growth? If you do just the new growth with natural hair, do you straighten before you color?

No answers for you except I use the henna and my hair and 11 different colors. If I were fully gray I wouldn't mind. Not looking forward to that process since I'm told that henna is irreversible so I suppose it will take a big chop to start all over if I want to just go fully gray.

I am in love with ion Demi permanent color. I just found out they have a color treatment that seals it in immediately after coloring but I haven't tried it yes. My hair is about alp, and about 25% gray. It really lasts. I heard you mention proteins, but what about moisture? This color never leaves my hair dry or hard. I agree about lessening your shampoo frequency.

ericajoy said:

Thank you faithVA... this is really helpful. I'm not feeling the gray either! I might have to stretch out dyeing and switch to a more gentle cleanser. I use DevaCurl No Poo or Shea Moisture shampoo but both of those leave my hair feeling dry.

Do you re-color your entire head or just the new growth? If you do just the new growth with natural hair, do you straighten before you color?

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I've tried Deva Curl No Poo. It didn't work me. I haven't tried the Shea Moisture. Have you tried diluting your shampoos in a bottle.

Chicora recommends diluting shampoos. She recommends mixing shampoo, water, AVG and oil in a bottle. You also may want to prepoo with oil before you shampoo. The shampoo is fine for the scalp but it takes too much oil from the hair.

My goal is to only do my new growth but my hair is only 4" and I don't straighten it so you can imagine how hard it is to just get my roots. But I recently bought a Comb A Color from Amazon. It works very well in letting me just get my roots. I think that will help.

I actually cleanse my hair before I color to remove product build up. I color on damp hair. When it gets longer I may put it on some big rollers to stretch it but for right now I don't.

Any tips caliscurls? Hope you don't mind my mentioning you.

You should just use semi-permanent color out of the bottle, such as Sebastian or Clairol Beautiful Browns. They do not last very long so ideally you'd have to apply the color after every 2-4 washes to keep it looking fresh. It's already a mild protein so you wouldn't need any other protein treatments if you're doing this regularly.

Browndilocks said:

You should just use semi-permanent color out of the bottle, such as Sebastian or Clairol Beautiful Browns. They do not last very long so ideally you'd have to apply the color after every 2-4 washes to keep it looking fresh. It's already a mild protein so you wouldn't need any other protein treatments if you're doing this regularly.

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I haven't found the semi-permanent color to cover the grays. Around the edges it just washes off immediately. I don't even get 2 washes out of it.

It seems to work in the middle of my hair but not around the edges which is where I want it.

^^^ the beautiful browns in the gray bottle works. Adore too, believe it or not. The strongest though is privana but IDK where to get it outside of professional stores. If the hair is really resistant, what you can do is put 5% developer in a spray bottle, and spritz the resistant areas first. Wait 10 minutes and wipe off if you want to, then apply the semi permanent color. 5% developer is weaker than what's used for demi-permanent colors, which are from between 7-10%. The weaker developer still opens the cuticle just a tiny bit and the semi permanent color takes better.

Browndilocks said:

^^^ the beautiful browns in the gray bottle works. Adore too, believe it or not. The strongest though is privana but IDK where to get it outside of professional stores. If the hair is really resistant, what you can do is put 5% developer in a spray bottle, and spritz the resistant areas first. Wait 10 minutes and wipe off if you want to, then apply the semi permanent color. 5% developer is weaker than what's used for demi-permanent colors, which are from between 7-10%. The weaker developer still opens the cuticle just a tiny bit and the semi permanent color takes better.

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Thank for the additional details.

Thanks for the mention faithVA , it looks like several of us are going through the same thing.

ericajoy first let me say, you are not alone! As cool as other people think gray hair will look on me (they envision Storm from X-Men) I am not ready for all that.

I tried henna and indigo - when the indigo fades the henna color looks awful. Eventfully my hair and scalp started reacting to the indigo anyway

I tried semi- and Demi- permanent colors - they faded way too quickly for how fast my edges grow and seemed to make my hair dry

Last year I started using Garnier Olia (permanent) and it's been great so far. It fully covers those pesky white hairs, looks natural, and doesn't dry out my hair.

A few things about my routine that may be helping:
- hot oil treatment every two weeks except when retouching color (only because I do a dry HOT as part of a prepoo )
- deep condition with heat every two weeks, including when retouching color
- only retouch edges every 6-8 weeks, the rest is not as prevalent so it's as needed...like 2x a year (I just noticed some gray roots in the middle of my head though so that schedule may change)
- make a point to moisturize and seal my edges 2x a day

In terms of changing my texture, I can't say. I'm 12 months into a long term transition AND have a cysteine treatment (QOD Max Organiq). The texture appears to be the same as before I relaxed just slightly loser because of the QOD. My edges look good though and are better now than this time last year.

Hope this helps!

crlsweetie912 thanks for the tip ... where do you get the Ion color? Browndilocks thank you, I wish I could use the semi-permanent box dye but with wetting my hair frequently to style it, it lasts no time at all. Literally, it's like I shouldn't even have bothered in a week or so. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL though -- do you use box dye?

Also yes, I think I need to cut back on shampoo and up my deep conditioning. I'll get some good co-wash. Do you ladies use heat with your DC? I have been lazy about this lately.

caliscurls, girl thank you for these details! I'd read mixed reviews about the Garnier Olia but I might try it. Also you seem to use heat with deep conditioning and oil treatments. I need to start doing that again. I wonder if adding a lot of extra moisture is what will keep my curl pattern from frizzing out.

ericajoy

Thanks for the compliment.

I'm a little confused because you keep saying box dye. The only box dye I know is the kind you can get at cvs, etc. Is that what you're talking about? Here's the potent semi permanent lines I'm talking about:

http://pravana.com/salon_services/hair-color-chromasilk.php <----- very strong pigment

http://scandalousbeautyonline.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/BC_AGS_Lineup-High-Res-copy-2.jpg <------- not strong but gets the job done

http://media.us.sebastianprofessional.com/en_US/products/salon_services/images/cellophanes.jpg <---- somewhat strong pigment


I don't think I know of any that aren't straight out of the bottle. For myself, I use Sebastian clear regularly. I don't have grays yet. I will say that the colors that have a red hue last a little bit longer. Unless you go permanent you'd have to touch the color up regularly either way.

Browndilocks, I get what you mean now. I was saying 'box dye' to mean the brands at target, walgreens, etc. It looks like the ones you listed are possibly more effective than the Clairols and such.

Okay. Either way unfortunately, you're going to have to be frequent with touch ups if you always want full gray coverage. Demi-permanent color washes out just like semi, only it lasts a little longer. The problem with it however is that its applied to your whole head for each application. Over time, you will notice a change of some sort in your hair due to the peroxide.

With semi you can apply over and over again with no ill effects. With permanent color, (once your color is fully applied) you only have to touch up your roots, which causes no further damage to your hair. So if you are a frequent washer, IMO, permanent or semi permanent is the way to go... not demi.

BTW - I believe you can get Ion color at Sally's but I'm not familiar with that line. Adore is another cheapie that actually has good pigment too. Just make sure to shampoo well when rinsing the color out:

http://www.creativeimagesystems.com/images2/adore01.jpg

You described my experience exactly with all the types of dye you mentioned. My grey hair is dye resistant too. I had to learn to work with henna-took a lot of practice getting the color right then sticking with the same brand so that I don't have five different colors in my head.

cherryhair what type of henna do you use? I have same problem.

Browndilocks said:

Okay. Either way unfortunately, you're going to have to be frequent with touch ups if you always want full gray coverage. Demi-permanent color washes out just like semi, only it lasts a little longer. The problem with it however is that its applied to your whole head for each application. Over time, you will notice a change of some sort in your hair due to the peroxide.

With semi you can apply over and over again with no ill effects. With permanent color, (once your color is fully applied) you only have to touch up your roots, which causes no further damage to your hair. So if you are a frequent washer, IMO, permanent or semi permanent is the way to go... not demi.

BTW - I believe you can get Ion color at Sally's but I'm not familiar with that line. Adore is another cheapie that actually has good pigment too. Just make sure to shampoo well when rinsing the color out:

http://www.creativeimagesystems.com/images2/adore01.jpg

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That is good to know.

They do sell ION at Sally's. I also think they have Adore there as well. I think I saw it last week.

Based on what you have just said I think I will stick with permanent and just do it a few times a year. I cowash too often for semi. I am also low porosity and the semi coats my strands and doesn't let enough moisture in. It gives it that too much protein feeling.

cherryhair123 said:

You described my experience exactly with all the types of dye you mentioned. My grey hair is dye resistant too. I had to learn to work with henna-took a lot of practice getting the color right then sticking with the same brand so that I don't have five different colors in my head.

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So what did you do to get it to work.

faithVA said:

I haven't found the semi-permanent color to cover the grays. Around the edges it just washes off immediately. I don't even get 2 washes out of it.

It seems to work in the middle of my hair but not around the edges which is where I want it.

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They have a formulation just for gray hair its called advanced gray solution.

ericajoy said:

crlsweetie912 thanks for the tip ... where do you get the Ion color? Browndilocks thank you, I wish I could use the semi-permanent box dye but with wetting my hair frequently to style it, it lasts no time at all. Literally, it's like I shouldn't even have bothered in a week or so. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL though -- do you use box dye?

Also yes, I think I need to cut back on shampoo and up my deep conditioning. I'll get some good co-wash. Do you ladies use heat with your DC? I have been lazy about this lately.

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Ion is at Sally's.

I've only dyed my hair myself with semi-permanent colors, but in the past I did try nearly ever type of hair dye (demi, permanent, ect) in salons. My favorite is vegetable based semi permanents because they are less drying The key is to clarify your hair right before coloring. I then follow up with a little bit of a mild rinse conditioner that is cone free, just to help with tangles. I found that hair that is already covered in cones/plastics is hard to dye when you're just depositing color. I apply the color on towel dried hair and let it sit under two beanies (for heat) for at least 2 hours. I then rinse in cool water and try to refrain from using hot water for the first week or so.

Clarifying right before coloring allows my color to last for 3 months. The last time I colored, I did not clarify and just used a low poo shampoo, and the color only lasted a month.

Hope this helped!

Browndilocks said:

With semi you can apply over and over again with no ill effects. With permanent color, (once your color is fully applied) you only have to touch up your roots, which causes no further damage to your hair. So if you are a frequent washer, IMO, permanent or semi permanent is the way to go... not demi.

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This is good to know. So you're saying semi doesn't have any peroxide in it, so it's less damaging than demi-permanent?

crlsweetie912 said:

They have a formulation just for gray hair its called advanced gray solution.

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Yes I've tried those. They still don't stick to the gray in the front I've been coloring my hair for 5 years. I've been through a lot of products.

ericajoy said:

This is good to know. So you're saying semi doesn't have any peroxide in it, so it's less damaging than demi-permanent?

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No - Semi permanent color has no peroxide in it. The only thing it does is coat your hair, which is why you can never use a semi permanent color to go lighter.

I have been using pm shines which is great, but I am just tired of coloring. When the gray new growth comes in, it's just not cute. I also seem to have 3 colors going on....gray new growth......auburn/orange looking in the middle and black ends. So since it looks like I have 50% gray now, it is time to throw in towel and let her rip. My goal is to have a nice head of blended gray and black hair. Oh well we shall see.....cause it's just not looking cute. I may have to get a fresh cut.

[USER=16597 said:

janeemat[/USER];19812757]I have been using pm shines which is great, but I am just tired of coloring. When the gray new growth comes in, it's just not cute. I also seem to have 3 colors going on....gray new growth......auburn/orange looking in the middle and black ends. So since it looks like I have 50% gray now, it is time to throw in towel and let her rip. My goal is to have a nice head of blended gray and black hair. Oh well we shall see.....cause it's just not looking cute. I may have to get a fresh cut.

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Where do you get pm shines? I haven't heard of that before.