At what age did you learn to do your own hair?

My daughter is 12 and in the 7th grade . She has BSL ,maybe slightly longer hair that is very thick . Im having a dilemma deciding when would be a good time for her to start doing her own hair. I'm also considering relaxing her hair because she prefers to wear her hair straight . And also because I feel that relaxed hair would be more manageable for her. I would like some advice on this please !

I started doing mine around 12 as well. I learned to do box braid extensions. What things have you taught her thus far? What techniques and styles has she learned on her natural hair at this point?

As far as relaxing: Will you do her relaxers or will she go to the salon?

Froreal3 said:

I started doing mine around 12 as well. I learned to do box braid extensions. What things have you taught her thus far? What techniques and styles has she learned on her natural hair at this point?

As far as relaxing: Will you do her relaxers or will she go to the salon?

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Honestly I haven't really taught her much at all.....she knows how to brush or comb through her hair and that's it. If I decide to relax I will be taking her to a salon.

In high school. But all I knew how to do was wash, blow dry and flat iron. I learned healthy heatless ways to care for my hair 2011 when I joined this forum

I was 12. I learned to rollerset at this age too. Self relaxed while in high school.

13 or 14. I really learned how to do cute styles after getting into haircare though.

I taught myself how to style my hair when I was 7ish (I was a very independent child). I was washing and styling completely on my own by the time I was 11ish after a girl made fun of me. They were just jealous because my mom had those 90's zigzag parts on point.

I would teach her how to do her natural hair first before relaxed hair. I really wished my mother had let me get to know my natural hair when I was a child. I would have been able to accept natural beauty better.

12 for me too but that doesn't mean I knew anything about healthy hair care practices at that age. Lol All my hair went down the drain once I took over. Smh

I learned to flatiron my own hair at 13. I used to go to the salon every 2 weeks when I was 12 and learned basic styles for straight and loose curls.

i learned to do my hair at about 24, 25 yrs old.

before that, i would just do wash and go's which isn't really learning anything.

pre_medicalrulz said:

12 for me too but that doesn't mean I knew anything about healthy hair care practices at that age. Lol All my hair went down the drain once I took over. Smh

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This is me. The summer between 6th and 7th grades my mom let me take over. I think I got a relaxer to make it easier. That was the end of healthy hair for me. My mom knew nothing about relaxed hair and neither did I.

If she is open to it maybe share responsibility for the first year or two. Maybe she can start with her natural hair and if it gets to be too much and she wants to then relax. At BSL there is a lot she can do with her hair.

The RIGHT way? 25.

Do what to it? I learned to ml out my hair in twists at like 8 lol they were greasy but cute.
And other stuff straightening, rollersetting, etc I learned later

I agree try to let her know her natural hair before relaxing just because relaxed hair is more delicate to me. Do you all not like braided styles?

I began styling my own hair at about in the 5th grade I initially only put rollers in my hair if I wanted my hair curled. I think I began using the curling iron in 7th grade. My hair did suffer initially. By high school, I guess you could say I figured out what worked and what didn't (like putting hair spray on your hair before curling it).

My hair was relaxed ever since the 4th grade. I either went to the salon or my mom did it. I didn't start doing my own relaxers until I was an adult.

I can't remember when I began washing, conditioning and drying my own hair. I imagine it had to be somewhere between junior high and high school.

My mom never really taught me how to do any of it. I think I just started doing things based on what I saw her do.

kim said:

Honestly I haven't really taught her much at all.....she knows how to brush or comb through her hair and that's it. If I decide to relax I will be taking her to a salon.

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OK in that case I would hold off relaxing until you teach her how to care for her hair and do cute styles. That way she knows what she is doing and has pride her natural texture.

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I'm SO GLAD you asked this question! My own DD is the same age and has been after me to allow her to wash her own hair. I've been putting so much time and effort into trying to care for her hair that I an reluctant to turn it over to her. She is natural with fine, very tangly hair that I feel takes much patience to do. I'm valuing each and every answer given in this thread.

To answer your question, I started styling my own hair around seventh grade myself. But my hair was relaxed (which seemed easier at the time) and I still went to the salon for touch ups. I don't think I was washing it myself until high school.

ETA--subbing

I don't remember the exact age but I know I was in elementary school. The best thing I learned at that age was how to do a simple braid and how to make a ponytail. I kept a brush, pink oil lotion and isoplus gel in my lil purse. I was forced to learn how to care for my natural hair and was known to re-do a lot of little girls hair at my school once their hair started looking bad throughout the day. lol

When I reached middle school, my hair was really long so I started getting it washed and pressed every 2 weeks by my neighbor. Did this all the way until I graduated high school. It was at hip by this time and still natural. I was only allowed to relax after I graduated and was on my own.

I would suggest you to not relax it just yet. If she prefers it straight, maybe let her visit the salon once a month and get it flat ironed and teach her how to maintain it for up to 2 weeks....or you could do it for her at home. The other 2 weeks of the month, she can work with her natural texture. Give her her own set a products...shampoo, deep conditioner, leave in, oil & gel. With that she can do a basic ponytail or bun after washing and let it stay in for a week. Teach her how to braid so maybe the last week she can wash and throw in 1-2 braids for a few days and wear a braid out on the weekends when she wants to hang with friends. Since her hair is long, it should make it a little easier for her to style.

I started daily styling at 10 with a simple ponytail. My mom would wash and press it. By 13 I was doing practically everything myself and/or going to the beauty shop.

I would keep her away from using heating tools on her own too.

Thanks so much ladies for your replies !! All of this advice is very useful !!

SoopremeBeing said:

The RIGHT way? 25.

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SoopremeBeing - CTHU @ your siggy gif!!! What in the world is going on in that video clip with snoop??? Lmaooooooooo


I was gonna say I was in my late 20's... like 29... I finally started doing it myself, and I love my hair now. I can guarantee I'll not get the exact results I want, BUT my hair will be healthier for it... no scissor happy stylists setting me up... unless I dare go in for a trim, which I'm tryna do myself from now on.

Age 10 is when I learned.

Around 12/13. It was a hot mess. Dad started sending me to the salon.
My mom or older sister had done my hair prior to then.

after i started getting teased about still wearing ponytails at 12

My mom made me take over around 8 or so (late elementary school). She was tired of dealing with my natural hair so she slapped a relaxer on my head, handed me some olive oil and hair tools and said have at it. I don't advise you doing that.

She would still wash it for me but once it was washed I was on my own. I wore ponytails until I was 11 or so when she started taking me to the salon.

I started doing my hair when I was 14. But I didn't really start properly taking care of my hair (washing, maintaining a style longer than a day, etc) until I was 18.

I learned to do my hair when I was maybe 12-13. Somewhere around that time. I just got tired of people asking "your hair is so pretty, who did it?" and my answer would be "my grandmother". Not that I wasn't grateful, because when I took the reigns I realized why it always took 3+ hours to do. I just thought she was slow lol. My mother was always against me doing my own hair because she felt that my hair was all I had to make me look beautiful and if I messed that up I was done for...thanks for the vote of confidence mom.



I mostly did wash and go's (because around that time I had found Teri Laflesh so I did her method for a while) and bantu knots because that was the style my grandmother did in my hair but she called them china bumps. Detangling took a toll on my psyche because I felt that it wasn't supposed to take so long and fell subject to the "bad hair" stigma as I had been just introduced to this way of thinking when I moved to a different state.



I never had my hair pressed or any kind of heat styling till I was maybe 14. I really feel that since your daughter has yet to relax her hair, she should learn to manage her natural hair first. I'm not saying that she has to be hard core natural with the twist outs braid outs tea rinses, oil concoctions, yogurt, mayo, and what have you but you can't go wrong (typically) learning to accept what naturally grows from your head before you make the decision to alter it for the sole reason of being more manageable and not equating straight hair ha being better that natural hair. I feel she should hold out on the relaxer for a while longer until she can take care of her natural hair. Nothing wrong with getting it pressed every few weeks.



Yeah sure there were times when I looked homeless but it was worth it for the rest of the time when my hair was bomb. Through trial and error I've made it to a comfortable place in my hair journey and that is the one and only way: trial and error. Now my family is asking me, the littlest Huxtable, for recommendations (and to this day mom still flips if she notices I've trimmed my hair).

Hope I contributed something.

I pretty much had to fend for myself after 11 years old. I didn't really do a good job until I was 14.

My DD is 16 and she just recently started doing her own hair.

Around 11. I cut my hair to make it fit in a ponytail. MISTAKE.

My mom didn't let me touch it again until high school.

For me around junior high. My sister and I are a year apart and my cousin lived with us, and there were two babies in the house (my moms and cousin) so I had to learn. Too much going on. What age? Idk but I know it was junior high and my hair was jacked up.

I learned to care for my hair in high school though. I actually knew the importance of caring for it then versus doing it like I did in junior high.