Respect My Hair!

syze6 · May 9, 2016

Ladies do you find it rude when someone puts their hands in your head? Let me start by saying I HATE IT! I have an older aunt who ALWAYS runs her hand through my hair. It's so automatic for her. Now she knows my hair is real and my daughter's as well. The first thing she does upon seeing either one of us with our hair done is start touching, and lifting and trying to go from the kitchen up. She does my daughter hair like that when we show up and my daughter has a fresh relaxed do. She calls her over and then just starts going through it. I try to tell her nicely but she doesn't seem to get it!

So yesterday when I went to visit my mom, she is the first person to come to the door. Now I had a hairstyle in which I used spritz because I wanted to hold the shape. As SOON as I get through the door, she starts with " Your hair is pretty, is that all your hair?" She then proceeds to start rubbing and lifting and trying to rake under from the nape. All I was thinking is I have spritz in my hair and a semi-hard hold and she is going to break my hair. The fact that it is already twisted and just styled by fingers mostly can be a disaster on your ends if not careful. I lost it and told her to stop putting her hands in my hair and how rude it is, yadda yadda. She said I hurt her feelings and went and sat down like a baby sulking! Really?????!!!!!

ajargon02 · May 9, 2016

Wow......I am glad you said something though!

BonBon · May 9, 2016

LOLOL.

She will remember from now on xD

girlonfire · May 9, 2016

PUT SOME RESPECK ON IT

syze6 · May 9, 2016

Was I wrong? I just don't get how she doesn't see that as rude...it drives me nuts! With my daughter fresh hair do, she will literally proceed to run her fingers through making parts and such.

Kindheart · May 9, 2016

It is rude but I do it aswell to people I know and don't mind if someone I know touches my hair . However ,it is an invasion of personal space ,I m more annoyed when people talk to me really close to my face

syze6 · May 9, 2016

Kindheart said:
It is rude but I do it aswell to people I know and don't mind if someone I know touches my hair . However ,it is an invasion of personal space ,I m more annoyed when people talk to me really close to my face

Oh...I hate that too! I find myself literally taking steps backward when someone is close in my face. I guess it bothered me more because my hair was kind of hard from the hold. All I could think about was crunch and breakage! LOL!

Kindheart · May 9, 2016

syze6 said:
Oh...I hate that too! I find myself literally taking steps backward when someone is close in my face. I guess it bothered me more because my hard was kind of hard from the hold. Al I could think about was crunch and breakage! LOL!

I feel you ,nothing worse than breakage !

MileHighDiva · May 9, 2016

@syze6
What did your mom say? Have your mom talk to her about it. Explain you're church/ meet the president fly and she running her fingaz through your hair.

I think she's living the long hair life vicariously through you and your daughter. She probably thinks she's being affectionate, or giving you a compliment.

syze6 · May 9, 2016

MileHighDiva said:
@syze6
What did your mom say? Have your mom talk to her about it. Explain you're church/ meet the president fly and she running her fingaz through your hair.

I think she's living the long hair life vicariously through you and your daughter. She probably thinks she's being affectionate, or giving you a compliment.

You may have a point because she used to have really long hair but as she got older it broke off. I didn't even look at it like that. Now I feel bad for getting upset with her. I just didn't see the point of her continually trying to lift and lay throughout my hold! LOL!

NappyNelle · May 9, 2016

THAT IS SO ANNOYING!!

You are not being rude, she is. I duck around my gf because she loves to mess up my hair. Like hello? Don't you want me to look cute like you? Lol

cocosweet · May 9, 2016

I was going to suggest hiding a mouse trap in your do during your next visit, but you handled it like an adult.
She was being invasive. She needs to start taking care of her own head so she can stop molesting yours and your dd's.

BonBon · May 9, 2016

I dont think its wrong to let her know that you don't like it and you don't want her to root through your hair anymore.

ETA: I see you already tried to say it kindly. I consider that fair warning lol :look:

Dayjoy · May 9, 2016

syze6 said:
You may have a point because she used to have really long hair but as she got older it broke off. I didn't even look at it like that. Now I feel bad for getting upset with her. I just didn't see the point of her continually trying to lift and lay throughout my hold! LOL!

I don't think you should feel bad at all. Even if she has her own emotions surrounding your hair her actions are still rude and invasive. Even though you may think you were harsh, it's good you got it out. Now that it's out there maybe you can have a more reasonable talk with her and explain to her that you have your own feelings about people taking their hands through your hair.

caligirl · May 9, 2016

I only do this to little kids with lots of hair

GGsKin · May 9, 2016

girlonfire said:
PUT SOME RESPECK ON IT

Shoulda been the title lol

GGsKin · May 9, 2016

It's your aunt. So maybe it's not that bad but I can definitely see how it would be annoying.

Late last year I was in the throws of protective stying with my lace wig. Anywho, I was in the process of buying something and a woman I often just say 'hi' to was processing another customer's transaction when she noticed me and started asking hair related questions. Once her customer left, I readily explained that I had a wig on, to her shock. Well once I'd finished my transaction (she wasn't serving me), we continued talking, she- staring at me in disbelief. Suddenly she leans over the counter and rakes her (trying hard not to insult her here) hand through my 'scalp' like she left change in there. Now, I don't mind people I know touching my hair, but not the hairline of my lace wig attached with spirit gum. I was in such shock, I laugh-yelped, pulled away and just stared at her. We haven't even exchanged words since. I'm sure she knows she was dead wrong.

Sorry to derail the thread but to answer your question, I don't usually hate it but unless I ask for it, a full out rummage in my head piece is rude and annoying (not from my mum tho. She gets a bligh).

KinksAndInk · May 9, 2016

You were not wrong at all. I hit people when they touch my hair. Don't care if I've known you for 20 seconds or 20 years. Touch me, get hit. Everybody knows I don't like or want my hair touched. My uncle's girlfriend HAD a habit of sticking her hand in my hair scratching my scalp. I don't scratch my own scalp with my nails. She was warned twice and the third time she snuck up behind me and she caught a backhand. She learned her lesson. I don't know where your hands have been. Don't. Touch. Me.

Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold · May 9, 2016

KinksAndInk said:
You were not wrong at all. I hit people when they touch my hair. Don't care if I've known you for 20 seconds or 20 years. Touch me, get hit. Everybody knows I don't like or want my hair touched. My uncle's girlfriend HAD a habit of sticking her hand in my hair scratching my scalp. I don't scratch my own scalp with my nails. She was warned twice and the third time she snuck up behind me and she caught a backhand. She learned her lesson. I don't know where your hands have been. Don't. Touch. Me.

scratching your scalp???? wtf???? was she weave checking you??

KinksAndInk · May 9, 2016

ShredsofDignity said:
scratching your scalp???? wtf???? was she weave checking you??

I don't see how. The first 2 times I had a wash n go. With shrinkage my hair is a little past my shoulders. Clearly no weave. The final time was a fresh perm rod set...again resting a little past my shoulders. Don't know what she thought she was doing but that backhand corrected her behavior.

Dee Raven · May 9, 2016

You know I thought you were going to say when people will pull on your curls or something. I don't really mind that. But putting your fingers through my hair is a complete no-no. First it's super rude, we don't know each like that. And as a tenderheaded person, it hurts. I would not feel bad at all, but I think normal people would take the hint when they see me wincing or instinctively backing away.

It seems like your aunt wasn't picking up on the cues you were giving her. You probably were too harsh because you've been holding the irritation in for a while, but at least now the two of you are on the same page.

fatimablush · May 9, 2016

so let her sit there and sulk.

she already knows your hair is real if she is feeling all through your hair.

you nor your daughter should have to go through that each and every time she sees you.

Saludable84 · May 10, 2016

KinksAndInk said:
I don't see how. The first 2 times I had a wash n go. With shrinkage my hair is a little past my shoulders. Clearly no weave. The final time was a fresh perm rod set...again resting a little past my shoulders. Don't know what she thought she was doing but that backhand corrected her behavior.

When I was relaxed and had just started my job (like 8 years ago) someone did the same thing to me. I. Hate. That. It's like, the biggest insult. You like my hair but need validation that it's not my hair and that's not cool. Now, your brave, I ain't back handing nobody lol, but I will "politely" grab your hand and remove it from my hair. All that scratching crap is not the business.

Kinky4Agirl · May 10, 2016

Someone used to do that to me and I broke them of it like this... When she started running her fingers, I started running mine. We both were standing there running our hands through each others hair. She never did it to me again. You'd be surprised that the ones who do it actually don't like for it to be done to them. Yet it's never been done to them so they don't realize how annoying it is... It really works!

nothidden · May 10, 2016

Girl, please, I don't have this issue, but I have NO problem slappin' someone's arm away. People dig up their nose, suck their fingers, remove wedgies, and don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Hair picks up everything. DO. NOT. TOUCH!

HappyAtLast · May 10, 2016

nothidden said:
Girl, please, I don't have this issue, but I have NO problem slappin' someone's arm away. People dig up their nose, suck their fingers, remove wedgies, and don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Hair picks up everything. DO. NOT. TOUCH!

That's what I was thinking. Besides being rude, it's just plain nasty!

KinksAndInk · May 10, 2016

Saludable84 said:
When I was relaxed and had just started my job (like 8 years ago) someone did the same thing to me. I. Hate. That. It's like, the biggest insult. You like my hair but need validation that it's not my hair and that's not cool. Now, your brave, I ain't back handing nobody lol, but I will "politely" grab your hand and remove it from my hair. All that scratching crap is not the business.

The backhand was slightly unintentional. I probably could've stopped it midswing but I'm not too fond of her so I let it fly. :look:

MileHighDiva · May 10, 2016

Kinky4Agirl said:
Someone used to do that to me and I broke them of it like this... When she started running her fingers, I started running mine. We both were standing there running our hands through each others hair. She never did it to me again. You'd be surprised that the ones who do it actually don't like for it to be done to them. Yet it's never been done to them so they don't realize how annoying it is... It really works!

Others people's hair skeeves me out. I love to admire hair, but touching it :nono:

You're not concerned about too much grease/product, hygiene, and/or scalp conditions getting on your fingaz?

Kinky4Agirl · May 23, 2016

MileHighDiva said:
Others people's hair skeeves me out. I love to admire hair, but touching it You're not concerned about too much grease/product, hygiene, and/or scalp conditions getting on your fingaz?

No... I pick it up instead of running my fingers through it... I basically mess their hair up in the process on purpose... lol

SmilingElephant · May 24, 2016

Kinky4Agirl said:
Someone used to do that to me and I broke them of it like this... When she started running her fingers, I started running mine. We both were standing there running our hands through each others hair. She never did it to me again. You'd be surprised that the ones who do it actually don't like for it to be done to them. Yet it's never been done to them so they don't realize how annoying it is... It really works!

I'm gonna start doing this and then washing my hands afterwards.

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