Should I Cut It Low And Start Fresh Or Hide My Hair And Gradually Cut?

hello all
longtime member rare poster here. I NEED YOUR HELP

I went natural in 2012 after keeping my hair braided for a few months then cutting. Through the almighty knowledge of LHCF I grew my hair to MBL in about 4 years. I was lucky and didnt experience any set backs or much damage during that time.

But then in March I did something that I knew from LHCF that I shouldn't have done. I went to the hair salon and had my hair flat ironed. My mom had died and my sister and I were running around arranging the funerl that whole week, then it was the day before the funeral and we had family coming into town. I looked a hot mess and my sister was going to the salon. So I thought what the heck they cant mess me up too bad.

Well I'm here to say she did in fact mess me up very badly. For one she was natural herself (this gave me hope) though her hair didnt look the best. She kept complimenting me on my hair and asked about my regimen. For all the damage my hair received she did not even get my hair straight. When I left the salon my hair was poofy already. By the next morning it look like a poorly done blow out. When I washed my hair a few days later I just about cried. I have 4a hair but it was not curling or coiling like at all. Oddly it is not straight anywhere it is just permanently poofy and brittle. I have done protein treatments and looooooong deep conditions and its just not snapping back. Also it is breaking BADLY, Even with all tender love and care I have been attempting to give it is now at APL. My twists dont look the same and I cant even get a defined twist out. My puff is looking sparse and in general I just hate the look and feel of my hair.

And so the question is with the goal of long natural healthy hair in mind. Do you all think it would be better to gradually cut the damage off while keeping it braided/buying a wig or should I just cut it all off and start fresh(I have a tappered twa in mind).

My fear with the gradual cutting is that the damage might just keep traveling up the shaft as it grows so my hair is never healthy. And my fear with the twa is I remember how long it took grow my hair out the first time. PLEASE HELP I NEED HELP DECIDING.

BC.

@Altruist, I'm so sorry this stylist did this!!!

My beliefs about most (not all) stylists just get reinforced every datgum day!!!

How do you feel about wearing long versus short hair on you?

I ask because based on your reasoning, I can see how BCing might be healthier. However, you could wear your own hair cornrowed with very realistic-looking, straight or curly crochet braid hair installed, and that would give you length and zero manipulation of hair. You could then cut your own hair gradually every 8 or so weeks, while caring for your cornrowed hair still, while the crochet hair was installed.

Bc instead of trying to work around the damage. Working around damage can cause more damage and stress. Big chop and start fresh.

I big chopped and started fresh and I regret it. I wish I would have taken the advice of just trim every 4 to 6 weeks and do protein treatments on that same schedule.

If you are a super fast grower then big chop. Otherwise I say do hard protein and trim every 6 to 8 weeks until you get your new growth to a length you can deal with.

My situation Kay be unusual but it's been several years and my hair is jus5 now getting back to the length it was when I big chopped and this short length has been a struggle.

YvetteWithJoy said:

@Altruist, I'm so sorry this stylist did this!!!

My beliefs about most (not all) stylists just get reinforced every datgum day!!!

How do you feel about wearing long versus short hair on you?

I ask because based on your reasoning, I can see how BCing might be healthier. However, you could wear your own hair cornrowed with very realistic-looking, straight or curly crochet braid hair installed, and that would give you length and zero manipulation of hair. You could then cut your own hair gradually every 8 or so weeks, while caring for your cornrowed hair still, while the crochet hair was installed.

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I feel reluctant to go back to short hair. I remember when I did my first BC I hated how short it was but I was in love with my hair. I loved all my little ringlets and coils. My hands were always in my head. As opposed to now where I have length but hate the look and feel. I actually just took some crochet braids that I had in for almost a month down. It made me more mad at myself for sitting in that salon chair like boo boo the fool. Because I took them down and am again conflicted about this mess on my head. I really torn, I think I will just go with what the majority of u guys say.

I would cut it.
My story is the opposite of faithVA's. I planned to get a tapered TWA to get rid of damage but let the stylist talk me out of it, instead going for the gradual trim plan. I regretted spending the time caring for damaged hair. I finally went through with the tapered TWA earlier this year and my hair is healthier and looks better.

Altruist said:

I feel reluctant to go back to short hair. I remember when I did my first BC I hated how short it was but I was in love with my hair. I loved all my little ringlets and coils. My hands were always in my head. As opposed to now where I have length but hate the look and feel. I actually just took some crochet braids that I had in for almost a month down. It made me more mad at myself for sitting in that salon chair like boo boo the fool. Because I took them down and am again conflicted about this mess on my head. I really torn, I think I will just go with what the majority of u guys say.

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Gotcha. MANY hugs!

Well, just my opinion:
Bravo if you can just big chop like everyone is recommending. Sounds good to me.

If feeling hesitant, the middle ground might be to cut as much as you can while still being able to wear cornrows for occasional crochet installs so you can feel some length when it would soothe to do so.

After you have worn your hair that short for awhile (maybe a month or so), then you will have acclimated to that shorter length and perhaps THEN cutting all the damage off will feel less drastic.

Just trying to offer ideas. I'm certain whatever you decide, you'll care for your hair well enough to get back to where you want to be.

I am so sorry to hear about your hair. I feel like you should cut it.
It sounds like you get good growth, so you will be back with a head full of hair in no time. Plus, imagine how fierce you will look with a low cut.
Yes, growing it out is a pain. I am feeling it now. Trying to grow my TWA above and beyond but I am NOT putting heat to my hair. (though I'm curious). I'm just scared of the repercussions.
And know, that as your hair grows, it will be healthy
My condolences on the passing of your Mom. I too understand that.....

I had a similar situation and tried to work with it and gradually trim. It was super stressful and caused more damage. I ended up just doing another big chop.

OH NOO! I'm really sorry this happened to you, I feel like it has happened to me. last night I had a little daydream about me walking in a salon for a press, then I said "never!" I haven't went to a salon since I was 9 years old.

ok this is what I would do, I would pray to God to restore your hair first, then I would wait just a few months and then big chop.

After re-reading the op, i take back my original suggestion.

I'm sorry about your mom. That's horrible that after something so I tragic, another tragedy happens. I will pray that you experience a full recovery in mind and body and that your faith deepens.

About the hair, I would try olaplex. It seems like the only thing that can actually really repair hair thats experienced permanent damage.

Also, do consider that your hairs may be a different porosity now, so maybe the products you're using aren't compatible anymore, maybe you need more acidic products since your cuticles are more open, or maybe your mistook needing moisture (from the blow dryer) for having protein loss and actually gave yourself protein overload in the process, which is why it feels brittle, or perhaps since your porosity may have changed, it no longer agrees with the water in your area (whether it's soft or hard) There could be a minor issue somewhere that is causing the brittleness, so I wouldn't cut anything until you've tired out all of your options.

God bless.

Been there. Chopped off BSL hair after 4 months of new growth.

I hated the short hair but it was the best decision. The breakage and frustration of dealing with the damaged hair in the shower would have been too much.

AdoraAdora24 said:

OH NOO! I'm really sorry this happened to you, I feel like it has happened to me. last night I had a little daydream about me walking in a salon for a press, then I said "never!" I haven't went to a salon since I was 9 years old.

ok this is what I would do, I would pray to God to restore your hair first, then I would wait just a few months and then big chop.

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Whoa! Where you been, girl?!

@Altruist I transitioned for two years and then cut off the ends, expecting a happy head of 4abc. What I actually got was that happy head of 4abc, plus mad random stringy pieces in no discernible order. Like, three straight hairs from root to tip, right in the middle of a clump of coils! Wth?!

So I cut it all off, got a tapered cut (which I very much enjoyed until it started growing out), and learned how to do my own crochet braids. Which was really nice because I'd only dabbled in fake hair sporadically up until that point, so this was a change to learn something new and have some fun. Two years later (now), in skimming apl. (With those same random straight hairs. And, of course, they gotta be right in the front, messing up my wng's. )

So, as one on the other side of the 'Do I chop?' abyss, lol, I say chop. Let it go. It'll be back.

Eta

EzrasNumberOneFan said:

About the hair, I would try olaplex. It seems like the only thing that can actually really repair hair thats experienced permanent damage.

Also, do consider that your hairs may be a different porosity now, so maybe the products you're using aren't compatible anymore, maybe you need more acidic products since your cuticles are more open, or maybe your mistook needing moisture (from the blow dryer) for having protein loss and actually gave yourself protein overload in the process, which is why it feels brittle, or perhaps since your porosity may have changed, it no longer agrees with the water in your area (whether it's soft or hard - depending on your porosity, either one could be a problem). There could be a minor issue somewhere that is causing the issue, so I wouldn't cut anything until you've tired all of your options.

God bless.

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Oh, I was scrolling too fast and didn't see this. This is good advice *if* you intend to try to save it, Op. I figured you had tried everything, or were just fed up.

I'm on team cut gradually. The TWA stage is rough and I think for some it affects our self esteem.! Try a really heavy reconstructor and then moisturize like crazy.

Honey Bee said:

Whoa! Where you been, girl?!

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Thank you Honey!!!!.

I personally relaxed my hair after a heat damage. It was perfect since I didn't have to cut my hair when I didn't want to. I can go back to being natural when I'm ready again.

If you're going to protective style, might as well just go ahead and chop it. What's the point of holding on to dead ends if you're going to hide it anyway? Just make sure you have enough hair to cornrow before you chop!

Short hair is easy to maintain with the right products so if u can be comfortable with short hair then just cut it.

I'd do a good trim but wouldn't but it all off. My youngest daughter straightened her hair for years and decided she wanted to wear her hair natural this summer. I told her no way would her heat trained hair revert but after 2 weeks of wearing it in it's natural state it has converted at least 95% - all that is left are about 1" of straight ends so we just roll those.

I feel bad because at the summer I was trying to convince her to cut all her hair because you cannot reverse heat-damage when in fact in some cases you can.

SN - After conditioning, avoiding heat, and trimming my ends twice my hair is still straight so I guess hair type has a lot to do with it. For the record she is 4B (C) and I am 3c(4a).

The Aphogee treatment for naturals is great, too. Curlific Texture Treatment. Helped my heat damaged leave out curl with the rest of my hair.

I wouldn't BC solely for health purposes. BC if you also love the look and feel of a TWA.

I'd wait a bit to see if your hair snaps back.

If you would hide it all the time anyway, what is the point of not cutting it? I guess I don't see the benefit of having damaged hair under a weave over having a twa, which you can also hide under a weave if you want.

nyeredzi said:

If you would hide it all the time anyway, what is the point of not cutting it? I guess I don't see the benefit of having damaged hair under a weave over having a twa, which you can also hide under a weave if you want.

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I think if she had a twa she wouldn't be able to get the cornrows for the weave because her hair wouldnt be long enough.

I would try Olaplex.

I had the same experience OP down to the last minute hair done for a funeral at a salon. I had major heat damage even after insisting on heat protectant.

I chose to gradually trim my BSL hair. I did braid & curls, wore buns and crochet braids. Every two months I would trim an inch. It took about 18 months to cut all the damage out. I did not want to not have the length to wear buns. It wasn't hard work but it can be done. When it got to be too much, I would wear crochet braids for 6-8 weeks.

Good luck with your decision!

It doesn't sound like you are convinced to cut your hair nor mentally ready to deal with short hair. I personally have been transitioning heat damage for the past 2 years while gradually trimming off the damage. My damaged varied throughout my head and in some small places was root to tip. I am not about that TWA life or hair shorter than my shoulders so I decided to go for the long haul. Olaplex was a game changer and life saver for me when the stress of the damage would bother me.

Whatever you decide to do, mentally you have to be in the right mindset. I prepared myself for what I knew would probably be 2 - 2.5 years. I will have the last of the heat damage gone by the end of this year and have been able to maintain for the most part between MBL and WL. It has only become tiresome now that I am in the home stretch so I am contemplating cutting to BSL to get rid of the remaining damage.

Buns, braidouts and twistouts have been my life for the past 2 years. I stopped going to the salon period in November 2015 as my damage was the result of visiting Dominican salons too frequently. I typically straighten 2 - 3 times per year for length checks and in between I will rollerset to stretch so that I can trim.

Prayers and blessings for whatever you decide but I wouldn't rush into anything because emotionally you are dealing with a lot and life is happening to you right now. Be still for a minute, pray about it, hide your hair and when you've had a minute to catch your breath then decide what you are going to do.