Sick Of My Natural Hair

lalla · Sep 9, 2017

I've been natural since 2005. In the past 5 years, my hair has barely grown, mostly because of split ends and SSKs.
I had two main reasons for going natural: growing longer and healthier hair and having more versatility.

At this point I want to straighten it (I was thinking about a lye relaxer) but I am not sure if there are safer/more effective/reversible technologies around nowadays.

Any help is appreciated.

Bunnyhaslonghair · Sep 9, 2017

I'm sorry you're frustrated with your hair. What's your regimen? I'm not against relaxed hair but a relaxer won't necessarily make it grow. I wouldn't relax or straighten just to incur growth. I would relax or straighten if that's what I needed to feel pretty with my hair again.

lalla · Sep 9, 2017

Hello Bunny!
I have never had such long periods of no grow with my relaxed hair. And I'm tired of the natural look

those are mostly my reasons for wanting to change. I've felt that way for close to a year now.

YvetteWithJoy · Sep 9, 2017

How long is your hair now?

I almost relaxed my hair a while ago: I was SICK of the tangling and chronic dryness, and SICK of the long wash days.

I had scheduled the appointment and was just WEEKS away before something just snapped and all of a sudden my natural hair was hydrated, moisturized, and decently quickly detangle-able.

So, now I have made a pact with myself that in the future if I decide I'm done with natural hair and want a chemical process, then FIRST I must wear my hair as a straight natural (professional blow dry and flat iron) for 6 weeks to "earn the right" to get that chemical process.

This will ensure that I'm sure about wanting to care for straight hair . . . and it will allow me to test whether being a straight-haired natural (a flexible, non-permanent solution) would suffice or not.

Bunnyhaslonghair · Sep 9, 2017

lalla said:
Hello Bunny!
I have never had such long periods of no grow with my relaxed hair. And I'm tired of the natural look those are mostly my reasons for wanting to change. I've felt that way for close to a year now.

I say go for it then. There is something about feeling like you have bomb hair that is great for confidence and the psyche. Do what's best for you.

snoop · Sep 9, 2017

Early, remember reading a post somewhere where the person said that they stopped worrying about SSKs because they were inevitable. That made me relax a while lot and not worry about them either. Instead, I focused on other parts of my hair care, like which products worked best on my hair and learning how to gently detangle. I found that eventually my SSKs disappeared as did my split end and key hole splits.

All this to say that perhaps if there is another part of your hair care routine that you can focus on improving then you can try that instead because it might help your retention. Everything is connected in the hair game. But if you really don't find natural hair to be versatile, then straightening is probably the way to go.

TwoSnapsUp · Sep 9, 2017

I felt like you a few months ago. My hair was the same length for over a year. It seemed to not want to grow, and when I was relaxed before my hair grew pretty steadily.

I went natural because I thought my hair would grow faster, be healthier and get thicker. My hair was thin as a relaxed head, thin as a natural and still thin as a relaxed head. I've accepted that it will never be thick. I do like that my hair flows when I wear it down.

I noticed that I got way more compliments on beauty when I relaxed my hair again.

CarefreeinChicago · Sep 9, 2017

I feel you! I am sick of my natural hair. It grows out really nice then it breaks, I have about fifty different lengths. Went to the dermatologist and she said is alopecia. But it's no bald spots. I am really looking forward to finding some one to cut it all off.

Evolving78 · Sep 9, 2017

It's been 12 years. Go ahead and straighten. Life is too short.

lalla · Sep 9, 2017

shortdub78 said:
It's been 12 years. Go ahead and straighten. Life is too short.

Thanks @shortdub78,

Is a relaxer the only way to straighten? I've noticed no one is speaking of BKT anymore.

Evolving78 · Sep 9, 2017

lalla said:
Thanks @shortdub78,

Is a relaxer the only way to straighten? I've noticed no one is speaking of BKT anymore.

There are so many straightening systems out there now. @Prettymetty has a lot of experience in that.

Nightingale · Sep 9, 2017

lalla said:
Thanks @shortdub78,

Is a relaxer the only way to straighten? I've noticed no one is speaking of BKT anymore.

In my nonexpert opinion, if you want your hair straight you should go ahead and relax. It seems less damaging than constant heat use. But BKT could still be an option. I read in old threads that doing a BKT on relaxed hair can make it smoother, stronger and decrease breakage.

moneychaser · Sep 9, 2017

Nothing wrong with relaxing!! My hair retains better with a texturizer. Way less tangling and knots. Plus the styles lasts longer which means less manipulation.

MizzBFly · Sep 9, 2017

lalla said:
I've been natural since 2005. In the past 5 years, my hair has barely grown, mostly because of split ends and SSKs.
I had two main reasons for going natural: growing longer and healthier hair and having more versatility.

At this point I want to straighten it (I was thinking about a lye relaxer) but I am not sure if there are safer/more effective/reversible technologies around nowadays.

Any help is appreciated.

Lye was wayyy better when I was relaxed. I ordered Alter Ego Linage relaxer. I was also texlaxing so minimal processing and coating my length with something to prevent damage (conditioner with oil)

Foxglove · Sep 9, 2017

I had this debate back in the day and went with locs but the straightening systems I looked at were the BKT, Japanese hair straightening system, and the texturizer type ones like the one from Huetiful, Miss Jessies, etc. It's been a few years since I did any research but you could start on YT and go from there
ETA I considered being a heat straightened natural and that's another option

Bunnyhaslonghair · Sep 9, 2017

If I had to do it, I'd be a straight haired natural and go to the salon once a month. You can always relax if that doesn't work out but remember you can't do the reverse. Honestly, all the other straightening systems seem to come and go. I don't hear much about them which is off putting to me. I'd do presses or lye.

CharlieEcho · Sep 9, 2017

I felt exactly the same as you last year. 6 years natural and never got past apl. Even then it was a whole head of uneven hair , broken and split hairs all over the place. I don't have a lot of density to my hair so it was thin looking as a natural and is thin as a relaxed head.

I finally relaxed last year and have to say my hair has never been or felt healthier. I'm growing my hair to hopefully have all my strands the same length which will help with the appearance of thinness.

All this to say, go ahead and do what's right for you. Not everyone can achieve long lengths with natural hair.

CityGirl · Sep 9, 2017

You can have healthy relaxed hair too. You just have to find what works for you. Once you do, stick to your regimen. I used to think the only way to have healthy hair was to be natural. I have since learned it is not true. I have relaxed healthy hair because I learned from this forum, techniques and practices with a little tweaking of my own, what works for me. This is the longest hair I have ever had (currently BSL). I have seen so me jacked up natural heads the same as I have seem some jacked up relaxed heads. Bottom line is DO YOU. Don't sleep on a healthy diet either. A lot of people think its just about the product we put ON our hair, but its also about what we put IN our bodies too.

My relaxed hair would not grow. It was dry, and stayed the same barely shoulder length forever, and then I found LHCF through a friend. It was a godsend. Once you learn what your hair likes ( 9 times out of 10 its moisture) keep doing it and BE PATIENT! Best thing I learned on here was about moisturizing and sealing in that moisture. But find what works for you.

Evolving78 · Sep 9, 2017

I was natural last year, I'm relaxed now. I do what makes me happy. I don't try to be a hero for who? Idk? Lol

lalla · Sep 9, 2017

View media item 103913 View media item 90278
I haven't progressed much since I took these pics. My hair is between MBL and WL. I first joined LHCF in 2003, when I was in high school. I cut my hair to my ears and got it to BSL in two years.

I'll be purchasing a lye relaxer next week. I am thinking of Affirm.

Thanks to everyone !

Coilystep · Sep 9, 2017

Do what you feel is best. Your natural hair is very pretty though. How long was your relaxed hair?

fifi134 · Sep 9, 2017

@lalla I have no additional advice, I'm mainly here because I need to know how you went from ear length to MBL in 2 years! :look:

lalla · Sep 10, 2017

fifi134 said:
@lalla I have no additional advice, I'm mainly here because I need to know how you went from ear length to MBL in 2 years!

Hello, my regimen was :
- hot oil, shampoo and deep condition once/week
- protein once a month
- relax every three months
- no heat: braid outs, roller sets, protective styles
- moisturize 2/3 times a week

I was a teenager at the time, so I might've had a growth spurt too.

SUPER SWEET · Sep 10, 2017

lalla said:
Hello, my regimen was :
- hot oil, shampoo and deep condition once/week
- protein once a month
- relax every three months
- no heat: braid outs, roller sets, protective styles
- moisturize 2/3 times a week

I was a teenager at the time, so I might've had a growth spurt too.

what kind of leave in do you use? Im a natural that is 5 days from getting a relaxer... :ohwell:

CarefreeinChicago · Sep 10, 2017

lalla said:
Thanks @shortdub78,

Is a relaxer the only way to straighten? I've noticed no one is speaking of BKT anymore.

I have been natural since 2004 and had one bkt in 2009 and my hair has never been the same

CurlyRy · Sep 10, 2017

lalla said:
View media item 103913 View media item 90278
I haven't progressed much since I took these pics. My hair is between MBL and WL. I first joined LHCF in 2003, when I was in high school. I cut my hair to my ears and got it to BSL in two years.

I'll be purchasing a lye relaxer next week. I am thinking of Affirm.

Thanks to everyone !

You have very thick pretty hair!

11228 · Sep 10, 2017

lalla said:
Thanks @shortdub78,

Is a relaxer the only way to straighten? I've noticed no one is speaking of BKT anymore.

When I got swept into the natural hype but wanted straight hair, I opted for BTK. Regrets all around. There was not a single positive in that experience.

Not only did my pocket suffer, my hair reverted within a month and I suffered heat damage from all the heat.

Never again

Rastafarai · Sep 10, 2017

OP, where are you located? Do you have options where you live to visit a natural hair salon for a trim and hair maintenance?

Napp · Sep 10, 2017

Me too. I bkt and it works well for me but now I've decided to just be a regular heat straightened natural. Bkts are expensive especially if you are just doing them for yourself. I think I might relax and start over with a fresh cut.

I Am So Blessed · Sep 10, 2017

I say pray about it, and throw some jheri curl activator on it. And some protein every now and then. This would work for all hair types. It's universal.

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