Question For Celibate Folks

Kissing before marriage

  • No

    Votes: 5 41.7%
  • Yes

    Votes: 7 58.3%

  • Total voters
    12

janiebaby

Well-Known Member
So I'm wondering for people who are celibate (my definition: consciously choosing to abstain from sex once you're in a relationship), were celibate or are thinking about becoming celibate....

How do you/did you feel about kissing the person you intended to marry before the wedding day?

I'm thinking, and it may change, that it might me a no go for me. I'm very sexual and I feel like kissing can be sexual. I don't even know how to give a quick peck (honest) so I guess it's something I'd have to train myself how to do? I mean a kiss on the cheek could be ok but me kissing someone on the lips?? It can start innocently and linger a bit too long. :look:

Eta: I dont take internet offense too easily so say what you want to say how you want to say it. Just say it plainly :lol:
 
Last edited:

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
So I'm wondering for people who are celibate (my definition: consciously choosing to abstain from sex once you're in a relationship), were celibate or are thinking about becoming celibate....

How do you/did you feel about kissing the person you intended to marry before the wedding day?

I'm thinking, and it may change, that it might me a no go for me. I'm very sexual and I feel like kissing can be sexual. I don't even know how to give a quick peck (honest) so I guess it's something I'd have to train myself how to do? I mean a kiss on the cheek could be ok but me kissing someone on the lips?? It can start innocently and linger a bit too long. :look:
Don't go down that path! If kissing is your weakness, don't allow yourself to be in that situation.
 

janiebaby

Well-Known Member
Don't go down that path! If kissing is your weakness, don't allow yourself to be in that situation.

Im on a similar line of thinking "don't put yourself in tempting situations". I don't think it'll lead to sex right then and there however I can see me letting my defenses down and justifying putting myself in more and more tempting situations or fantasizing. So yea I'm thinking kissing may be my gateway drug or like the backdoor (one of maybe several that haven't been identified yet) into letting my guard down sexually.

@Shimmie don't forget to vote
 
Last edited:

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Im on a similar line of thinking "don't put yourself in tempting situations". I don't think it'll lead to sex right then and there however I can see me letting my defenses down and justifying putting myself in more and more tempting situations or fantasizing. So yea I'm thinking kissing may be my gateway drug or like the backdoor (one of maybe several that haven't been identified yet) into letting my guard down sexually.

@Shimmie don't forget to vote
Hi Angel...

As for the vote, my answer would be, don't be tempted, not a straight yes or no. I definitely would not suggest kisses of passion. Yet, engaged couples do express affectionate gestures, however within bounds of virtue and restraint.
 

janiebaby

Well-Known Member
Hi Angel...

As for the vote, my answer would be, don't be tempted, not a straight yes or no. I definitely would not suggest kisses of passion. Yet, engaged couples do express affectionate gestures, however within bounds of virtue and restraint.

Ah gotcha. Thank you! Yea all I know is kisses of passion so I have to work backwards :lol:
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Ah gotcha. Thank you! Yea all I know is kisses of passion so I have to work backwards :lol:
The Holy Spirit is your Helper. He will always lead and guide us into all truth...always.

When we are serious about walking right with God, we don't allow our flesh to dominate our spirit. We walk away from temptations and never look back.

Therefore, you can overcome your flesh. Jesus did not leave us alone.

:bighug:
 

YvetteWithJoy

On break
I don't believe the bible discusses whether premarital kissing is a sin or not. Thus, it's a matter of wisdom.

If you or your partner cannot handle it, I advise avoiding it.

However, it is just my opinion: Kissing, hugging, and hand-holding are natural and normal and informative. Christians will take care to do so in respectful, loving ways, locations, lighting, etc. I think Christians risk veering into a strange abnormalcy when they do things like vilify or scarify safe kissing between two people who can kiss without then needing sex. I think it is okay to kiss your boyfriend and feel your heartbeat.

I could be so wrong. It is just my opinion based on the culture I have lived in, the model Christian relationships presented to me, etc.

Heavy petting in a private location? Very unwise, in my opinion.
 
Last edited:

janiebaby

Well-Known Member
I don't believe the bible discusses whether premarital kissing is a sin or not. Thus, it's a matter of wisdom.

If you or your partner cannot handle it, I advise avoiding it.

However, it is just my opinion: Kissing, hugging, and hand-holding are natural and normal and informative. Christians will take care to do so in respectful, loving ways, locations, lighting, etc. I think Christians risk veering into a strange abnormalcy when they do things like vilify or scarify safe kissing between two people who can kiss without then needing sex. I think it is okay to kiss your boyfriend and feel your heartbeat.

I could be so wrong. It is just my opinion based on the culture I have lived in, the model Christian relationships presented to me, etc.

Heavy petty in a private location? Very unwise, in my opinion.

I was thinking more and more about it after last night and I've come to the conclusion for now that it's very personal and subjective. I was thinking about how the Bible says kiss one another in greeting and it started to get me thinking about my beliefs about kissing. So for right now it's still a no-go. I may develop into a person who's able to give a friendly kiss but that just ain't today *shrug* and that's ok.

I was also reading Romans 14 which I think is applicable to this topic. For me, my task is to be able to take the sex out of the kiss. That's not everyone's struggle.

My goal is still to hear everyone's viewpoint. I don't tend to feel convicted by anyone's opinion (only child syndrome) but I do feel that there could be a bit of wisdom in there :yep:
 

Choclatcotton

Well-Known Member
So I'm wondering for people who are celibate (my definition: consciously choosing to abstain from sex once you're in a relationship), were celibate or are thinking about becoming celibate....

How do you/did you feel about kissing the person you intended to marry before the wedding day?

I'm thinking, and it may change, that it might me a no go for me. I'm very sexual and I feel like kissing can be sexual. I don't even know how to give a quick peck (honest) so I guess it's something I'd have to train myself how to do? I mean a kiss on the cheek could be ok but me kissing someone on the lips?? It can start innocently and linger a bit too long. :look:

Eta: I don't take internet offense too easily so say what you want to say how you want to say it. Just say it plainly :lol:
Let's just say if have a little cake you will want te whole piece. LOL, therefore, I don't even o there until i am wedded. My first kiss was at the altar wit my late husband. If a man cant respect that ten deuces.
 
I don't mind kissing before marriage but I don't believe in kissing on the first date or anywhere near it. I like to settle in a bit first. Location matters too. A quick hello peck at a restaurant is much different to kissing in a car at night.

Follow your convictions.
 
Top