Unsure What To Do??

luthiengirlie

Well-Known Member
I went natural after an intense breakup. It was supposed to be temporary but I Fell in love with my curls. I've been getting Brazilian Keratin Treatments to help with manageability. But my hair is such that it has to constantly be stretched or braided up cause even if I do a twist out, in a few days it turns into a matted mess. I do miss having my hair straight but I know it won't last 45 minutes. I am wondering if I should relax again. or just keep doing BKT and straighten it once a month. Due to some health issues I cant always " do my hair". I am conflicted and unsure of my next steps.. I'd love some advice.. No judgment. I'm a 3C/4A combo.
 

SAPNK

Well-Known Member
Have you considered trying other styles that don't require your hair to be out? If it's an option for you, you can decide how long you want to stay in the style, and choose some styles that you like and wont be troublesome/expensive to install.
You can still wear your hair out in between these styles. Just for a few days.
And if it isn't damaging for you, you can start straightening regularly again, when the weather/humidity changes.
 

luthiengirlie

Well-Known Member
Have you considered trying other styles that don't require your hair to be out? If it's an option for you, you can decide how long you want to stay in the style, and choose some styles that you like and wont be troublesome/expensive to install.
You can still wear your hair out in between these styles. Just for a few days.
And if it isn't damaging for you, you can start straightening regularly again, when the weather/humidity changes.
@SAPNK I currently crochet. which I love. would you mind showing me some examples of what you mean? I never thought that I could do that.. I'd may have to just straighten it more often
 

SAPNK

Well-Known Member
@SAPNK I currently crochet. which I love. would you mind showing me some examples of what you mean? I never thought that I could do that.. I'd may have to just straighten it more often

Yeah, crochets are definitely a good option. I always do marley twists.

marley-twists-hh.jpg Mine don't look at nice, but whatever. :look:

You could also do buns for one week at a time, or two strand twists.

I know a natural at work that straightens year round. I never would've known she was natural had she not told me, so it's still an option, maybe. I'm in GA, btw.
 

luthiengirlie

Well-Known Member
Yeah, crochets are definitely a good option. I always do marley twists.

View attachment 445245 Mine don't look at nice, but whatever. :look:

You could also do buns for one week at a time, or two strand twists.

I know a natural at work that straightens year round. I never would've known she was natural had she not told me, so it's still an option, maybe. I'm in GA, btw.
Thank you so much for your advice and time
 

I Am So Blessed

I'm easy going.
I can't tell you what to do, but i sure wish that someone would have talked me out of relaxing years ago when I posted the same question "Should i relax my hair?" I wish that one person would have said "NO". Maybe that would have stoped me.

I regret ever doing it. All it lead me to do was to START ALL OVER AGAIN to grow it out.

There's my little two pennies.

Edit to add: No, don't do it.
 

Theresamonet

Well-Known Member
My vote is to relax/tex-lax. You love your curls but you’re altering them anyway for “manageability”. Natural hair takes a lot work in the beginning until you can figure out a workable routine, and it doesn’t sound like you’re capable of that at the moment. Bkt plus monthly straightening sounds a lot more damaging than just relaxing. I don’t get the point of staying natural just to be in crochet weaves/braids 24/7. I’m moreso a fan of doing what you have to do to love and be comfortable wearing your own hair natural or relaxed.
 

SAPNK

Well-Known Member
I can't tell you what to do, but i sure wish that someone would have talked me out of relaxing years ago when I posted the same question "Should i relax my hair?" I wish that one person would have said "NO". Maybe that would have stoped me.

I regret ever doing it. All it lead me to do was to START ALL OVER AGAIN to grow it out.

There's my little two pennies.

Edit to add: No, don't do it.

Yes, I've been noticing lately that a lot of naturals who go back to relaxers, end up transitioning back to natural almost immediately.
That happened to me. I texturized my 4b/c hair once after being natural for some years, and couldn't wait to go back. It was great at first, but ultimately wasn't worth it.
But, maybe some of us just have to do it, just so we could really know it's not for us. Even if we have to start over afterwards.
 

Karmi

Well-Known Member
If the price doesn’t offend you, buy the RevAir hair dryer. That tool has changed my natural hair life. I have very coily 4a hair that curls from root to tip. It tangles like nobody’s business. I can’t wear twist outs because it mates by the end of the day. Wash n go’s were my only tangle free style. The RevAir gets my hair straight with no damage that I can see and if I want bone straight hair I only need 300 degrees on my flat iron since my hair is 80% straight.
 

luthiengirlie

Well-Known Member
My vote is to relax/tex-lax. You love your curls but you’re altering them anyway for “manageability”. Natural hair takes a lot work in the beginning until you can figure out a workable routine, and it doesn’t sound like you’re capable of that at the moment. Bkt plus monthly straightening sounds a lot more damaging than just relaxing. I don’t get the point of staying natural just to be in crochet weaves/braids 24/7. I’m moreso a fan of doing what you have to do to love and be comfortable wearing your own hair natural or relaxed.
That really is a good point.
 

MochaDiva

Evolving
I big chopped in September, and have been wearing wigs or braids. I decided that I miss my relaxed hair and so today I scheduled an appointment to get a relaxer on Friday. If you feel that having relaxed hair will be easier for you, and will make you happier, then relax it. It's your hair and you get to decide how you wear it.

I say figure out why you're hesitant. Is it because you will miss your curls, or is it because of what people are going to think/say? I was somewhat hesitant at first. Then I decided that I am not my hair, and therefore my hair doesn't define who I am as a person.

Just remember that your relaxed hair is a lot more fragile than natural hair and that you have to be more gentle with it. To have the healthiest relaxed hair, I always suggest limiting direct heat as much as possible. I like to have a blow dryer that has separate heat and speed settings and I like to blow dry it on high and cool (which is really "room temperature"). This is much more gentle on the hair. Also, make sure your flat iron isn't too hot.
 
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