Help Me Help Someone: Hair Care Regimen/weave For 13 Year Old

MzSwift said:

You're so sweet!! I'm sure he'll appreciate whatever advice you can give and your regi sounds simple.

I used to train non-Black foster parents on caring for their Black foster/adopted children's hair. During our monthly trainings, I taught them the hair care basics:

Weekly or biweekly
-Wash
-Deep condition
-Moisturize and seal (with EVOO or Grapeseed oil)
-Style

*for natural hair, washing and DCing in loose braids without undoing the braid. Using fingers and wide toothed combs ONLY to detangle in the sections before braiding up, no need for much more detangling afterwards.

Nightly
-satin/silk bonnet or scarf at night

Basic Protective or Low Maintenance Styles
-at least 3 ponytails, either be braided or twisted, should last a week before they have to wash and redo. Can be smoothed to maintain
-Braids/plaits or cornrows
-Twists with twirling to create a tighter twist that will last

Most already know how to bun or french braid. Once they're comfortable doing those things, they can visit YT for more style ideas.

I never did product recommendations because that is hit or miss. But helping them to maintain moisture-protein balance was important. I told them water is the best moisturizer and moisture should be sealed in. I told them how to recognize a protein by the words "strengthening" or "repair" in the description. Look for products that also said things like "nourishing" or "moisturizing" or pretty much anything made for "curls." The only product I would recommend was to use Ecostyler gel if they needed gel because many of us fell into the trap of using the black/brown protein gel growing up which can be damaging if not properly balanced.

Teens are a different story. The teens that used to come to the class, I would tell them to keep on experimenting to find what works for their tastes. I would steer them to search YT but be sure to watch at least 3 different videos before deciding on a way to do the style to ensure they had options in case it went wrong.

At this point, if she's not interested in learning about her hair, the basics above are a great way to help her maintain. Since she wants it straight, I think it would be best to meet her where she is. I would have her start with wash, DC, heat protectant and blow dry/flat iron weekly or biweekly. Wrap or cross wrap at night and sleep in a silk/satin scarf. That's it. They can troubleshoot specific issues when/if she has any.

If her hair is shorter and she wants it longer, I think crochet, lazy girl crochet, u-part wigs, half wigs and rubber band method extensions are the easiest to install. There are lots of good videos on those techniques/styles and lots of "no cornrow" crochet/wig/extension videos if she doesn't know how to cornrow.

As I used to tell my foster parents, our children are very aware of the fact that they don't look like their family. Helping them to feel self-confident is vital. Finding a way to create an outward appearance that they love is a great way to help their self-confidence.

Sorry for the novel. I know this is stuff you already know but I hope I helped you find a way to explain some things to them.

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