Five years of natural hair and I think I might relax...

Sunshine0801 · Apr 19, 2009

I recently had my hair straightened and I love it. :drunk:

It would be great if I could straighten my hair every few weeks or so and stay natural, but it took a LOT of work to straighten my hair, and I think that it is too fine to endure being straightened regularly. Never thought I would say this, but I think a relaxer would be a better option for my hair than regularly going through all of the trouble that it took to straighten it.

If I relax, I would definitely do the BC again in the future and wear it natural for a while. However, right now I want to wear my hair long, and my hair is too fine to rock the natural styles that I love with this length.

I really never thought I would be returning to relaxers, but if I do, my reason for doing it will be nothing like the reason that I previously had a relaxer prior to wearing my hair naturally (i.e. ashamed of my natural hair, thought I had no other option, etc.), so there's no shame in my game. It's just a bit daunting, since it took over 5 years to learn how to care for my natural hair, and I feel that I now have to start from scratch in learning how to properly care for relaxed hair.

Just wanted to share. Feel free to chime in if you can relate (or even if you can't)...

Shandell · Apr 19, 2009

I just had to do it!!

MyAngelEyez~C~U · Apr 19, 2009

try Sabino first and see if that will be a good alternative to relaxing.

SouthernTease · Apr 19, 2009

Ditto! Try Sabino first and if that doesn't work for you like it didn't work for me. You should look into a keratin treatment. I just had it done last week. I am not saying I like it or I don't. I like that my hair feels and looks healthier. I still have my curl pattern too it's just a lot less frizzy. You should definitely do your research. Don't relax though --that's so permanent. You don't have to any more. There are so many other temporary options. I've never heard of anyone stay natural that long, relax and stay relaxed. Most of what I see is people regretting the relaxer after being natural for so long and eventually transitioning or bc'ing. Maybe you can hold off awhile and follow my journey (via my blog/fotki) to see if it's something you might like to try rather than get a relaxer.

taz007 · Apr 19, 2009

I was natural for 7 years. I relaxed with Phyto II last year and I HAVE NO REGRETS! I love it!

But make sure that you have researched all alternatives first. I did.

BeautifulFlower · Apr 19, 2009

Go for it

AtlantaJJ · Apr 19, 2009

Fine hair and relaxers are no walk in the park either. Make sure you do your research!

loulou82 · Apr 19, 2009

I hope you're happy with any decision you make. Your siggy says you have MBL hair so you've achieved a lot with your natural hair. It would certainly be a change of pace to now handle relaxed MBL hair. You should definitely look into alternatives like texlaxing or the BKT.

Likeyouneverseenme · Apr 19, 2009

Think back and remind yourself of why you went natural in the first place.
Bublnbrnsuga did the same thing, she had MBL/WL natural hair, premed it and then ended up regretting it and is rocking a TWA right now.
Five years is a lot of hard work and patience. Try different options before taking the plunge.
And like AtlantaJJ said; fine hair and relaxers...not a good combo.

tailormade84 · Apr 19, 2009

i know how u feel but i would not relax again :nono:

- i get "straight hair" urges from time to time, but in the end i know i would just be manipulating my permed hair to curly... :look:

i love curls :grin:

AtlantaJJ · Apr 19, 2009

MissNorway said:
Think back and remind yourself of why you went natural in the first place.
Bublnbrnsuga did the same thing, she had MBL/WL natural hair, premed it and then ended up regretting it and is rocking a TWA right now.
Five years is a lot of hard work and patience. Try different options before taking the plunge.
And like AtlantaJJ said; fine hair and relaxers...not a good combo.

Yes, this was the source of my emergency BC incident. I'm just getting over the trauma of that. I found out the hard way that relaxers are not good for my fine hair in the long run.

QTPie · Apr 19, 2009

This is a good thread b/c I'm feening to straight hair (im currently natural and its been a 5+ year uphill battle). However, I do have fine hair as well.

TheQueenBeeMaya · Apr 19, 2009

I was having this debate with myself a couple months ago and i've been natural for almost TWENTY ONE YEARS (aka my whole life) don't do it girl, it's not worth it.

ajoyfuljoy · Apr 19, 2009

Many of the stories that I've read about natural women going relaxed are different. Some love it. Some hate it. We are all different. I say pursue your options and do what you feel is best! Hair is hair, you know? Just have fun with it. If you choose to relax, through this board, you know that you can maintain and excel even with your hair in that state.

It's up to you. Let us know what you decide!

SlantedEyezMiss2003 · Apr 19, 2009

I agree with most of the ladies, I would research other options, (i'm relaxed), but if it took you 5 years to get the hang of your natural, I wouldn't relax...that's like me taking 5 years to understand and care for my relaxed hair and make it to my goal and decide to BC, if I was you, I wouldn't relaxed.....but the choice is yours and your LHCF sistas support your decision......Good luck.....

Duchesse · Apr 19, 2009

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you enjoy it and make sure to put pics up of your MBL hair!

As a super-fine haired person myself, I though relaxing/texlaxing was a better option for me than staying natural. Your hair may be stronger than mine, but I had/have a very hard time retaining growth once I put chemicals on it, whereas I retained every inch of my natural hair.

If I were you I wouldn't relax, but I'm not lol, so again, good luck!

sheba1 · Apr 19, 2009

I understand exactly how you feel. I have been natural 14 years (with a bc on natural hair about 4 years ago out of boredom) and I was this close to relaxing when I learned about keratin treatments like the brazilian keratin treatment. I haven't done it yet, but I hope it turns out to be a better option for me than relaxing. The good news is, if it turns out I don't like it, I can just stop doing it and return to my curlies.

Faith · Apr 19, 2009

I was a relaxed head who went natural for about 5 years then relaxed and is now back to natural. My advice....don't do it. If I had to do it over again I wouldn't have relaxed at year 5. Like AtlantaJJ said, some fine hairs and relaxers don't mix well. Do you remember how your relaxed hair was? Were you happy with it?
I made the mistake of romanticizing how my relaxed hair used to be instead of the reality...it was dry and broke easily. I ended up having to chop tons off and starting over. If you feel you can handle relaxed hair then do it, if you had no issues with relaxers then go for it BUT don't trick yourself into thinking it'll be better this time around. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome each time = insanity :look:

Good luck in making your decision

sheba1 · Apr 19, 2009

Faith said:
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome each time = insanity Good luck in making your decision

I guess this is the thing that may have one going back and forth about relaxed hair, though. OP, I don't know if you were into hair care when you were relaxed but I know I wasn't. So I have no idea what my relaxed hair would have been like with proper care. Relaxed, properly cared for hair is completely different than relaxed non cared for hair, right? Like any experiment, each variable could possibly change the whole blasted outcome. It's just that, with our hair, chemical treatments are so permanent that, if we are wrong, we have to cut off and start all over. :nono:

Lucia · Apr 19, 2009

Sunshine0801 said:
I recently had my hair straightened and I love it.

It would be great if I could straighten my hair every few weeks or so and stay natural, but it took a LOT of work to straighten my hair, and I think that it is too fine to endure being straightened regularly. Never thought I would say this, but I think a relaxer would be a better option for my hair than regularly going through all of the trouble that it took to straighten it.

If I relax, I would definitely do the BC again in the future and wear it natural for a while. However, right now I want to wear my hair long, and my hair is too fine to rock the natural styles that I love with this length.

I really never thought I would be returning to relaxers, but if I do, my reason for doing it will be nothing like the reason that I previously had a relaxer prior to wearing my hair naturally (i.e. ashamed of my natural hair, thought I had no other option, etc.), so there's no shame in my game. It's just a bit daunting, since it took over 5 years to learn how to care for my natural hair, and I feel that I now have to start from scratch in learning how to properly care for relaxed hair.

Just wanted to share. Feel free to chime in if you can relate (or even if you can't)...

I haven't tried these myself, but there are those temporary straighteners for 1 month or 3 months, you may want to research them 1st to make sure they're safe for your hair. It might be a good way to see if you want your hair straight 24/7.
I really didn't like much about my relaxed hair, it was too fine, limp, lifeless, and it still curled and frizzed in humid weather, and no matter how much care I took with it it broke off and I still had to do the exact same thing I do now as a natural to get it straight, so there was no advantage for me. I say try some alternatives, see how your hair does flat-ironed for 2 weeks at a time, think it over hard and long, someone listed bublin she's starting over, ask yourself if you can start over from scratch again. hth

yodie · Apr 19, 2009

My hair is fine and always broke off from relaxers. I went natural for four years and then decided to experiment with a natural relaxer and a texlax. I ruined all of my progress and I mean ALL of it. Of course this may not happen to you and I pray it doesn't. Rethink why you went natural in the first place.

Like Sheba1 mentioned, BKT might be a better option. Of course you should do your research first. Best of luck.

taz007 · Apr 19, 2009

Faith said:
I was a relaxed head who went natural for about 5 years then relaxed and is now back to natural. My advice....don't do it. If I had to do it over again I wouldn't have relaxed at year 5. Like AtlantaJJ said, some fine hairs and relaxers don't mix well. Do you remember how your relaxed hair was? Were you happy with it?
I made the mistake of romanticizing how my relaxed hair used to be instead of the reality...it was dry and broke easily. I ended up having to chop tons off and starting over. If you feel you can handle relaxed hair then do it, if you had no issues with relaxers then go for it BUT don't trick yourself into thinking it'll be better this time around. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome each time = insanity Good luck in making your decision

My hair is 100% healthier than when I was relaxed previously. The problem was the stylists and them wanting to put a SUPER relaxer on my coarse, thick hair. I now do my own hair and it is thriving!

My hair is 1000% (yes, 1000%) healthier than when I was natural. The final pic in my siggy is of a fairly fresh relaxer and I still have a lot of thickness and shine.

Thoroughly do your research ...

PhiLee · Apr 19, 2009

AtlantaJJ said:
Fine hair and relaxers are no walk in the park either. Make sure you do your research!

Ding ding ding! :grin:

My fine hair rarely looked good in a relaxer: never held a curl, snapped at the drop of a hat (like, say, in a hair clip or with a certain moisturizer).

I'd say invest in a REALLY good flat iron and practice, practice practice before going the permanent route. :yep:

Sunshine0801 · Apr 20, 2009

Thanks so much everyone for all of your responses! I found them to be very helpful, and you all gave me a lot to think about.

I put my hair through a lot of abuse when I was relaxed by doing silly things like flat ironing it every day and deep conditioning it maybe 3 times a year. I had no clue what I was doing, and my hair ultimately thinned out and broke off. My natural hair is much, much stronger, which is why retaining length hasn't really been an issue. My relaxed hair never got past shoulder length, but then again, I couldn't expect it to considering the way I treated it.

Relaxers are permanent, which is why I am still hesitant. If it doesn't work out, I'm BC'ing, and although I'd like to wear my hair short again someday, I would hope it wouldn't be in the next, say 15 years or so (what can I say, I love long hair). Someone mentioned an alternative option that I had never heard of (Keratin treatment, I think), which sounds very interesting, so I'll do my research on that.

I'll straighten my hair a couple more times with my natural texture, but I don't think it's something I could do regularly. Too much work and too much stress on my hair. Also, I have tried SMB, and unfortunately it didn't work for me.

I'll keep you all posted on whatever I decide to do. In the meantime, feel free to continue posting your experiences and advice!

PinkSkates · Apr 20, 2009

I personally don't think its hard to manage natural, heat-straightened long hair...but that's just me.
It's your hair do what makes you happy but keep in mind that relaxer chemicals on fine textured hair is just as harsh.

Christelyn · Apr 20, 2009

I have fine hair too--not as long as what you say in your siggy--and I would never go back to a relaxer because of all the burns, breakage, and risks. Remember, once you do it, there's no turning back unless you BC. Have you looked into purchasing a salon-quality flat iron that gets your hair really straight?

longhairlover · Apr 20, 2009

Well if you do decide to perm Optimum Bodyfier relaxer Mild should be good for you. I normally use the optimum anti breakage regular but I think i'm going to try the body one next time. The optimum is a very nice line.

yuriko · Apr 21, 2009

Well have you tried Brazilian Keratin Treatments. The straightening lasts 3-4 months and reverts back to your natural hair, so you are not stuck with a permanent relaxer that you might not really want.

I am currently relaxed, and am considering going natural and doing the BKTs every 4 months. Its a lot more versatile, you can truly have the best of both worlds

almond eyes · Apr 21, 2009

Chiming in. I will never relax my hair again. I never really analysed my hair texture because it was always in braids especially after my hair would get damaged after a relaxer. Now after not wearing hair extensions anymore (except on special occasions) and getting to know my hair I realised not only did my hair have many textures but it was fine. Fine hair does not do well with chemicals and excessive heat. I have learnt to be patient with my hair progress. I have literally tried all kinds of relaxers and strengths even texturisers back in the day 1993 when they were not even that popular and I only wound up with breakage especially after doing excessive research.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Five years of natural hair and I think I might relax...

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