4K (OK 4b) Relaxed Ladies, How do you do it?

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

Seriously,

How in the world do you manage your roots. erplexed I mean I am 7 weeks post relaxer and it is ridiculous. So, how do you smooth your edges to put your hair in a bun? I am not too concerned with the middle, but if I tried to pull my hair back I would look like Peasy Weesy (not trying to offend anyone)

I mean, my hair line is not one that lies nicely like some of you ladies. It curls up tighter than Eddie Murphy's leather pants in RAW. I mean it is very tightly curled. So, how do you do it? I have tried water and grease, the result, shiny peas. I've tried gel...result was hard, shiny peas. I tried Carol's Daughter something (the pomade), nope again shiny peas. So what can I do? Help me out, these peasy edges are making me look crazy.

In fact, I went to the ladies room (my hair is out today) and I scared myself when I passed the mirror. I mean my hair was sticking all over the place. It just won't lay down, which is why I am thinking of putting it back, some how.

sassygirl125 · Dec 21, 2004

It curls up tighter than Eddie Murphy's leather pants in RAW.

I know I shouldn't laugh @ "shiny peas", but I can't help it! :lol:

Do you tie your edges down flat until they are dry? If I remove my scarf before my edges are mostly dry, they will roll right back up. If I'm in a hurry I blast my scarf covered hair with a hot blow dryer to speed up the drying process.

simplycee · Dec 21, 2004

Kaddy u r a trip! Have you tried using a scarf right after you make your bun? I make a bun, smooth a little elasta mango butter on my edges and then put on a satin scarf for about 1/2 hour and I'm all set. On mornings I'm running late I leave the scarf on under my hat and take them both off when I get to work. I'm 12 weeks post touch up, works like a charm

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

Hey ladies,

Thanks for the quick responses. I have tried tying my hair down and it comes out looking like...well...smashed peas. I mean it doesn't look smooth, it just looks like I TRIED (without success) to lay them down. I may have to try the Elasta mango butter, but I don't want to have another thing in my closet that doesn't work.

Sassy - girl, go ahead and laugh...It's true though. I laugh at the result too.

Simply - I need to find some humor in my hair woes.

Dolce_Dawn · Dec 21, 2004

Hi, KAddy-

If you're saying that your edges are rough looking then that's one thing, but if you're trying to say that your edges roll up into individual BDB's then that sounds like damage to me. Unless you have a TWA and the rest of your hair rolls up like that (and I peeped your pics and your hair is to your shoulders) then your edges should NOT be that short.

What I would do is brush my edges down every night and moisturize with a light, but intense moisturizer (I like Elasta's Mango Butter, but choose what YOU like). On days I knew I was gonna wear it up/in a pony tail, I would tie a scarf around my head the night before, making the edges lay flat. Also, I would lay off of perming (the edges) for awhile and just press them down w/the back of a curler or w/a comb. Your edges need to be babied just like the rest of your hair. Even trimmed (yes, trimmed!) when damaged. Most of us abuse the circumference of our hair and end up w/BDB's.

Now, again, if your edges just look rough but are not short to the point of individual "peas" then I wouldn't worry so much about correcting damage, but ensuring MOISTURE.

HTH!

simplycee · Dec 21, 2004

Wow Kaddy! Smashed peas, huh? Well maybe you need something heavier. What about a tiny bit of castor oil and then a scarf?

sassygirl125 · Dec 21, 2004

smashed peas

STOP!

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

Dolce_Dawn said:
Hi, KAddy-

If you're saying that your edges are rough looking then that's one thing, but if you're trying to say that your edges roll up into individual BDB's then that sounds like damage to me. Unless you have a TWA and the rest of your hair rolls up like that (and I peeped your pics and your hair is to your shoulders) then your edges should NOT be that short.

What I would do is brush my edges down every night and moisturize with a light, but intense moisturizer (I like Elasta's Mango Butter, but choose what YOU like). On days I knew I was gonna wear it up/in a pony tail, I would tie a scarf around my head the night before, making the edges lay flat. Also, I would lay off of perming (the edges) for awhile and just press them down w/the back of a curler or w/a comb. Your edges need to be babied just like the rest of your hair. Even trimmed (yes, trimmed!) when damaged. Most of us abuse the circumference of our hair and end up w/BDB's.

Now, again, if your edges just look rough but are not short to the point of individual "peas" then I wouldn't worry so much about correcting damage, but ensuring MOISTURE.

HTH!

My edges are actually growing back in from damage I had from braids. Well, on one side they are short and the rest, it's just real ROUGH. As for laying off relaxing the edges...that's not an option for me. I wouldn't be able to pull my hair back.

Thanks for the advise. I will try the oil and brushing technique. I do oil it, but I mainly smooth with my fingers since I haven't been trying to pull my hair back. I don't own a curling iron so that option won't work, although I used to do that in the past.

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

sassygirl125 said:
STOP!

Just trying to brighten someone's day. :lachen:

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

simplycee said:
Wow Kaddy! Smashed peas, huh? Well maybe you need something heavier. What about a tiny bit of castor oil and then a scarf?

It's interesting that you mention this because as much as I have been using castor oil on my hair and scalp I never thought to use it like this. Thanks for the idea. I will try this and let you know how it went. In fact, I put it on my edges all the time but I never tried tying my hair down with it on.

What kind of scarf are you ladies using? Because maybe it's the type of scarf or technique. I mean I just use my regular satin one and I think I tie it pretty tight, but who knows.

Shawnee66 · Dec 21, 2004

I use to have the same problem. After I wash and condition I added my leave in let it air dry until it's not dripping. Then I use a boars hair brush to smooth it into a ponytail. I put on my silk scarf and the next day it is laying down. I put my oils on and I go.

If I don't bush my hair it looks like a mess the next day.

ThickHair · Dec 21, 2004

Gurl, sound like you need some good old fashion grease.

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

Shawnee66 said:
I use to have the same problem. After I wash and condition I added my leave in let it air dry until it's not dripping. Then I use a boars hair brush to smooth it into a ponytail. I put on my silk scarf and the next day it is laying down. I put my oils on and I go.

If I don't bush my hair it looks like a mess the next day.

I do use a boar bristle brush, but maybe I will try it again.
Thanks Shawnee

BklynHeart · Dec 21, 2004

Ok, I should of known better than to read this at work! I had to cough to cover up my outburst!! :lachen:

Kaddy, what I have to do is use a combo of grease, or hair lotion, some gel and a little bit of water, smooth my edges with a brush and use a cotton kerchief-the ones that come in white, black, blue or red-to flatten my stuff. By the time I shower and dress my jungle is tamed. I tried to used a satin scarf but that didn't work. I had the mashed peas looked too!

KAddy · Dec 21, 2004

BklynHeart said:
Ok, I should of known better than to read this at work! I had to cough to cover up my outburst!! Kaddy, what I have to do is use a combo of grease, or hair lotion, some gel and a little bit of water, smooth my edges with a brush and use a cotton kerchief-the ones that come in white, black, blue or red-to flatten my stuff. By the time I shower and dress my jungle is tamed. I tried to used a satin scarf but that didn't work. I had the mashed peas looked too!

My bad BklnHeart

I think you might be right though about the scarf. I just don't think the satin one is doing it. I think I may have to try a cotton one and see what happens.

Thanks girlie!

carrie · Dec 21, 2004

BklynHeart said:
Ok, I should of known better than to read this at work! I had to cough to cover up my outburst!! Kaddy, what I have to do is use a combo of grease, or hair lotion, some gel and a little bit of water, smooth my edges with a brush and use a cotton kerchief-the ones that come in white, black, blue or red-to flatten my stuff. By the time I shower and dress my jungle is tamed. I tried to used a satin scarf but that didn't work. I had the mashed peas looked too!

OK yall are killing me. I may try the cotton scarf tonight, because when I do this with my satin one it NEVER looks right.

msincognito · Dec 21, 2004

KAddy,

Thanks for asking this question, I also have this problem as well especially around week 7 post relaxer. I tried stretching my relaxer to 10 weeks before, I think I did more damage to my hair.

Poohbear · Dec 21, 2004

Kaddy, I understand what you are talking about because I used to have the same problem. It wouldn't be BDB's or smashed peas :lol:

but it was where my new growth wouldn't lay down flat. Another thing that will help is if you detangle your hair all the way before putting it in the bun. After spraying my leave-in conditioner, I use Silk Elements Glossing Polish to smooth my hair line and if that doesn't do the job, I'll use the liquid styling gel (doesn't leave hair hard at all), smooth with a boar bristle brush, and tie my hair with a satin scarf.

Britt · Dec 21, 2004

Hey!
Maybe you could try a non stiffening gel like Lets Jam. You know those kinds of gels that don't leave your hair hard, but make it shiny instead. Get one of those gels and spray a little warm/hot water on your edges, apply the gel and then smooth with a brush. For extra smoothness tie on a scarf for a good 5-10 min. your edges should be fairly straight afterwards

KathyMay · Dec 21, 2004

CD Healthy Hair Butter does the trick for me and my son's hair. His hair was looking to your description of Eddie Murphy in RAW but I slap some oil and HHB in his hair at night and he wakes up with nice smooth hair. This works for my hair also except I have to use a scarf. HTH

KAddy · Dec 22, 2004

Thanks for all the suggestions ladies.

Msincognito - You and I must be hair twins. The last time I tried to stretch my relaxer to about 12 weeks and ended up stopping at 10 because I realized I was doing more harm than good.

Poohbear - I never thought to try a liquid styling gel, thanks for the suggestion.

Britt - I have tried let's jam and it works for a while, but the thing that messes me up with that is that since it does not get hard (which is one reason why I like it) it also "melts". If you know what I mean, it's like I am sweating shiny sweat. My husband is like, "What is that running down your face?" I will try that spraying warm water trick though before applying the gel.

KathyMay - You know, I think I have used CD's HHB before. I think I mainly use it with my braid outs (at least I used to). I may have to see if this works. THanks for the suggestion as I have 2 jars in my refrigerator now.

UPDATE: So last night after all these great suggestions that I saw...I didn't try any I actually decided to try a little Surge Ultra Max on my edges (I don't know why, maybe it's because I am about to be the guinea pig for LHCF to see if it works like the liquid). Well I put a little on my edges in the front, brushed lightly with my boar bristle brush, and tied my hair down with my regular ol' satin scarf I wear at night. This morning I was pleasantly surprised to see that my peas didn't look much like peas. In fact they were laying kind of smoothly...notice I said KIND OF. It was good enough that I don't feel crazy walking areound with the peasy weasy edges and the rest of the hair straight. So this may also be a good thing. I'll keep you ladies posted and thanks for all the great suggestions.

carrie · Dec 22, 2004

I tried using a cotton scarf last night and got good results. I used my Profective (in the yellow) and some dax hair grease. Brushed and put on the scarf. Looks good so far, we'll see how long it holds up!

msincognito · Dec 22, 2004

I am definitely putting Surge Ultra Max on my product list!

Tene · Dec 22, 2004

I just found something yesterday that smooths my edges. It's called Straight Fast Hair Straightening Elixir by Giovanni and it works great.

KAddy · Dec 22, 2004

Tene said:
I just found something yesterday that smooths my edges. It's called Straight Fast Hair Straightening Elixir by Giovanni and it works great.

Tell me more about it Tene... Is it a cream? liquid?

BklynHeart · Dec 22, 2004

carrie said:
I tried using a cotton scarf last night and got good results. I used my Profective (in the yellow) and some dax hair grease. Brushed and put on the scarf. Looks good so far, we'll see how long it holds up!

I'm glad it worked out! a cotton scarf always helps for me! Kaddy, I'm glad the Surge worked for you!

carrie · Dec 22, 2004

is the ultra max a cream as opposed the the spray?

KAddy · Dec 22, 2004

carrie said:
is the ultra max a cream as opposed the the spray?

Yep. It smells delicious. I didn't want to try the spray because of some ladies having side effects from it and I am not one to shampoo my hair every day (I'm lazy).

My experiment with the ultra max is that I am going to use it every day and see if I get results similar to the ladies that use the spray.

Tene · Dec 22, 2004

KAddy said:
Tell me more about it Tene... Is it a cream? liquid?

It's a liquid

onepraying · Dec 22, 2004

KAddy said:
Just trying to brighten someone's day.

Oh, Lord, you are making me laugh! I'm glad you invite us to laugh with you!

~op~

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