Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
As you all may know I got my “not-so-natural” hair Sisterlocked in February of 2010. Since then I’ve received a myriad of comments regarding “My Hair Journey”. Though most of the comments were positive or encouraging I’m writing this “essay” to address the Negative Natasha's . Not just for myself but to encourage others also.
My pastor gave a oration a few years ago regarding Attitudes & Selling tactics…. Something about understanding that a “NO” might just be a “NO NOT RIGHT NOW” & that in God’s plan you and your “NO” might have been Step-3 in God’s 10-step plan for that persons Yes Process ; he went on to say that you don’t want to leave that person with a bad taste in their mouth just because "you" did not get the “YES”.
This is for e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. Please understand that the art of transitioning from Re.laxed to Natural is not easy
What “step” are you?
For those of you who are Permed/Natural/Locked or whatever your chosen “state-of-hair” maybe, I’d like to ask you to go easy on those who seem to reject your styling choices.
· Non-Permies: Do not be negative, the permie or CFC head you are addressing may very well embrace natural hair many years from now. Your comments may not immediately influence them to change their way’s; however, you might just be step 1 in the 10-step process of them “converting”. If you are negative in how you convey your natural passion, you might just push them back to step -10 AND by doing so you may be compelling them to continue to harbor the negative feelings that we’ve carried for generations about our natural hair.
· Press’n’Curls/Permies/Texlaxers: Same as above don’t be so damn damming. It takes quite a bit of courage to rock the natural hair texture. You can scar a child for life with just one cutting “nappy-headed” remark; if anything be encouraging; that will go a long way and is a much better attitude to pass on.
I have been surprised to find that in the Black hair communities (Natural, Loc’d, ReLaxed or whateva) strongly biased attitudes are rampant. I sat in a room full of varied hairstyles (who were all there to learn about SLs)…. The following were comments that I receive because “I” chose to alter my SLs by “adding” length to the shorter ones in my crown/bang area (& Yes I did this myself).
I am here to share my experience and opinion: IT HAS TAKEN ME 20+ YEARS ON MY JOURNEY BACK TO BEING NATUAL. TRANSTIONING IS NOT EASY, & OFTEN THERE ARE PROFESSIONAL CHALLENGES TO THIS PROCESS AS WELL. WE HAVE GOT TO BE MORE TOLERANT or ENCOURAGING AS WE DISCUSS OUR HAIR AMONGST OURSELVES AND AMONGST OTHERS
My pastor gave a oration a few years ago regarding Attitudes & Selling tactics…. Something about understanding that a “NO” might just be a “NO NOT RIGHT NOW” & that in God’s plan you and your “NO” might have been Step-3 in God’s 10-step plan for that persons Yes Process ; he went on to say that you don’t want to leave that person with a bad taste in their mouth just because "you" did not get the “YES”.
This is for e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. Please understand that the art of transitioning from Re.laxed to Natural is not easy
What “step” are you?
For those of you who are Permed/Natural/Locked or whatever your chosen “state-of-hair” maybe, I’d like to ask you to go easy on those who seem to reject your styling choices.
· Non-Permies: Do not be negative, the permie or CFC head you are addressing may very well embrace natural hair many years from now. Your comments may not immediately influence them to change their way’s; however, you might just be step 1 in the 10-step process of them “converting”. If you are negative in how you convey your natural passion, you might just push them back to step -10 AND by doing so you may be compelling them to continue to harbor the negative feelings that we’ve carried for generations about our natural hair.
· Press’n’Curls/Permies/Texlaxers: Same as above don’t be so damn damming. It takes quite a bit of courage to rock the natural hair texture. You can scar a child for life with just one cutting “nappy-headed” remark; if anything be encouraging; that will go a long way and is a much better attitude to pass on.
I have been surprised to find that in the Black hair communities (Natural, Loc’d, ReLaxed or whateva) strongly biased attitudes are rampant. I sat in a room full of varied hairstyles (who were all there to learn about SLs)…. The following were comments that I receive because “I” chose to alter my SLs by “adding” length to the shorter ones in my crown/bang area (& Yes I did this myself).
· Just cut those “dead” ends off!!!! (Coming from a someone with a lovely head full of someone else’s hair) …(agreement nod, from another fully re.laxed sistah)
· “You can’t do that to SLs they aren’t SLs anymore”. ( My thougth:Ummm, I paid $400+ for this “install” and I’ll damn well do with them what I please, besides if your loc’ snapped off you’d tried to “attach” it back…..)
· “Long-hair is a crutch”, “It’s just hair, it will grow back”
· “You can’t manage two hair textures”
· “Why would you flat-iron your “locs”?
· “Whyyyyy would you do that to your hair?”
· “How long Are you going to keep that style? Strange stares followed by “
· “When are you going to comb you hair.”
· “Loc’s are dirty," ….(this from a SL’er referring to the usual types of Locs)
· “Cultivated loc’s are not real locs, they are a fashion statement... my locs are real” or …”Those are SLs? I have “real” locs’”;
· ** (from permies) “That’s why Madame CJ Walker invented the Straightening Comb”
· **(from wig/weaver)…”I can’t be looking crazy, that’s why I wear my…….. “
· I have been totally amused when on more than one occasion I’ve seen a weaver wearer sit amongst a group of YT women and diss another sister’s hair….talking about “s-t-u-p-i-d”…..remember Natalie from BadGirlsClub4? Child please! Acting like “you” have overcome…..
I’m not writing this to invalidate anyone’s point of view on hair maintenance/styling; NOR am I attempting to start a Debate on “Hair Choices” . ….. · “You can’t do that to SLs they aren’t SLs anymore”. ( My thougth:Ummm, I paid $400+ for this “install” and I’ll damn well do with them what I please, besides if your loc’ snapped off you’d tried to “attach” it back…..)
· “Long-hair is a crutch”, “It’s just hair, it will grow back”
· “You can’t manage two hair textures”
· “Why would you flat-iron your “locs”?
· “Whyyyyy would you do that to your hair?”
· “How long Are you going to keep that style? Strange stares followed by “
· “When are you going to comb you hair.”
· “Loc’s are dirty," ….(this from a SL’er referring to the usual types of Locs)
· “Cultivated loc’s are not real locs, they are a fashion statement... my locs are real” or …”Those are SLs? I have “real” locs’”;
· ** (from permies) “That’s why Madame CJ Walker invented the Straightening Comb”
· **(from wig/weaver)…”I can’t be looking crazy, that’s why I wear my…….. “
· I have been totally amused when on more than one occasion I’ve seen a weaver wearer sit amongst a group of YT women and diss another sister’s hair….talking about “s-t-u-p-i-d”…..remember Natalie from BadGirlsClub4? Child please! Acting like “you” have overcome…..
I am here to share my experience and opinion: IT HAS TAKEN ME 20+ YEARS ON MY JOURNEY BACK TO BEING NATUAL. TRANSTIONING IS NOT EASY, & OFTEN THERE ARE PROFESSIONAL CHALLENGES TO THIS PROCESS AS WELL. WE HAVE GOT TO BE MORE TOLERANT or ENCOURAGING AS WE DISCUSS OUR HAIR AMONGST OURSELVES AND AMONGST OTHERS
My Step 1 came almost 30 years ago when someone told me that I was trying to be white just ‘cause I relaxed my hair. 
(I was 15ish and that’s prolly why it took me so long to get to the final steps).
The Final Steps: Just 2 years ago not knowing that I was a few steps away from my decision; I watched (quietly)
as a Superior of mine was re-gu-lar-ly berated behind her back for her natural hair and style choices; she was a picture of strength despite it all; and when she did “rock” her natural hair in all it’s glory (let it down); all those haters were in awe.
I must admit that her strength gave me the encouragement and strength to make the change too.
Thank you for letting me get this topic off my chest/vent/rant/share. (I was 15ish and that’s prolly why it took me so long to get to the final steps).The Final Steps: Just 2 years ago not knowing that I was a few steps away from my decision; I watched (quietly)
as a Superior of mine was re-gu-lar-ly berated behind her back for her natural hair and style choices; she was a picture of strength despite it all; and when she did “rock” her natural hair in all it’s glory (let it down); all those haters were in awe. I must admit that her strength gave me the encouragement and strength to make the change too. · During this same time I went from relaxing every 4 weeks, to tex-laxing, to a really long stretch and then to SL’s . So here I am. ….I’ve arrived.
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will we ever learn?
'ing my old vent.
