Any advice or tips?

BlackHairDiva

Well-Known Member
Ladies..I need help /advice..this is too much!!! What should I do now? As some of you know I was living with my mom, Grandmother, bro, sil and nephews. I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I could barely take care of myself...at ALL! I was too busy taking care of mom and granny. Mom has back problems and granny is blind, bedridden and has dementia. On top of that , I had to wash, feed , change granny..Not easy. Plus, I was the one responsible for the cooking ,cleaning, i did the groceries. I spent 4 years waking up exhausted, being exhausted all day, going to work exhausted and coming back home exhausted...to take care of everyone to a point I had to decide between eating or sleeping. Going to bed at 3 to 4 or 5 am daily.:nono: Not to mentioned I did 2 years without working!!! So then I got a crummy part time job that I hate and make to most of it.

I moved out in hope of getting a career back, resting and taking care of myself. I was so happy to get my apartment.

I got a sister in law who is lazy..YES LAZY!! she doesn't clean nor do anything. All she does is eat without control to a point it's race to at food...we can't do groceries cause she lets thing spoil or she eats everything hides food, etc. Milk... urgh... 1 liter plus of milk goes in her tummy per day. I did 3 years without drinking milk..result my teeth are damage...lack of calcium. SHe doesn't work, lies that she goes to school when she is hangin with her friends. She doesn't work. She doesn't educate the kids...results we got a 4 year old nephew who still cannot talk or conversate..Both my nephews ( 4 years old & 1 are still wearing diapers.) she said she was going to stay at home and home school him...of course she then said she will not stay at home cause its too much work.

I'VE HAD IT!!!!


Got a call from mom telling me the sheriff came to the house... My bro got a letter telling him he owes 4000$ or they will take the house.:cry3: AGAIN!!! this happened earlier this year , now this happened again.

Now I'm being told that I left the house at the last minute, that I could have helped out... I make 600 tops bi-weekly. He makes at least 80,000$. His wife always asks to get money sent to her family abroad, to go shopping. To eat out. He doesn't put his foot down. I feel like i have to give up my dreamand my life to keep eveyone ok and out of trouble. Give up my life meaning, no more going to get an MBA, marriage , etc.... I got mom crying on the phone, my older bro crying as well. :cry3: All claims nothing ain't right since dad pased away 2005. I can't even be positive with them cause they always beleive in the worst...

I need help...I need a solution...I need to find a way to earn extra money...

I'm applying for jobs and at the same time I'm trying to get my own thing,, e marketing, affiliate marketing and freelance... I had thought about giving freebie trading another go...but i don't have a credit card.

My credit is not hot but i owe about 400$ all together to make it spotless and perfect. But at that point I will be getting the biggest loan imaginable to help everyone out. Then I'm stuck with the damage.

What now?

I'm thinking we might have to sell some stuff, but what...I dont what to do where to turn.. any advice help, etc?
 

Crown

New Member
Ladies..I need help /advice..this is too much!!! What should I do now? As some of you know I was living with my mom, Grandmother, bro, sil and nephews. I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I could barely take care of myself...at ALL! I was too busy taking care of mom and granny. Mom has back problems and granny is blind, bedridden and has dementia. On top of that , I had to wash, feed , change granny..Not easy. Plus, I was the one responsible for the cooking ,cleaning, i did the groceries. I spent 4 years waking up exhausted, being exhausted all day, going to work exhausted and coming back home exhausted...to take care of everyone to a point I had to decide between eating or sleeping. Going to bed at 3 to 4 or 5 am daily.:nono: Not to mentioned I did 2 years without working!!! So then I got a crummy part time job that I hate and make to most of it.

I moved out in hope of getting a career back, resting and taking care of myself. I was so happy to get my apartment.

I got a sister in law who is lazy..YES LAZY!! she doesn't clean nor do anything. All she does is eat without control to a point it's race to at food...we can't do groceries cause she lets thing spoil or she eats everything hides food, etc. Milk... urgh... 1 liter plus of milk goes in her tummy per day. I did 3 years without drinking milk..result my teeth are damage...lack of calcium. SHe doesn't work, lies that she goes to school when she is hangin with her friends. She doesn't work. She doesn't educate the kids...results we got a 4 year old nephew who still cannot talk or conversate..Both my nephews ( 4 years old & 1 are still wearing diapers.) she said she was going to stay at home and home school him...of course she then said she will not stay at home cause its too much work.

I'VE HAD IT!!!!


Got a call from mom telling me the sheriff came to the house... My bro got a letter telling him he owes 4000$ or they will take the house.:cry3: AGAIN!!! this happened earlier this year , now this happened again.

Now I'm being told that I left the house at the last minute, that I could have helped out... I make 600 tops bi-weekly. He makes at least 80,000$. His wife always asks to get money sent to her family abroad, to go shopping. To eat out. He doesn't put his foot down. I feel like i have to give up my dreamand my life to keep eveyone ok and out of trouble. Give up my life meaning, no more going to get an MBA, marriage , etc.... I got mom crying on the phone, my older bro crying as well. :cry3: All claims nothing ain't right since dad pased away 2005. I can't even be positive with them cause they always beleive in the worst...

I need help...I need a solution...I need to find a way to earn extra money...

I'm applying for jobs and at the same time I'm trying to get my own thing,, e marketing, affiliate marketing and freelance... I had thought about giving freebie trading another go...but i don't have a credit card.

My credit is not hot but i owe about 400$ all together to make it spotless and perfect. But at that point I will be getting the biggest loan imaginable to help everyone out. Then I'm stuck with the damage.

What now?

I'm thinking we might have to sell some stuff, but what...I dont what to do where to turn.. any advice help, etc?

WoW! Don't give up your dream.
I would move a step further if I was you. Seriously, I would pray and ask God to show me another place to go and live, not just an apartment in the same area, but another city or state. I would build my own life. If it is possible I would be diligent to take my mom and my grandmother with me as soon as possible and to find help for both of them if this is available in your area.

You are exploited by your brother and your sister in law! They are exploiting your commitment for your family, your love and your patience. Let them fix their problems.
They need to grow up.

You have to be strong enough, because they are trying to put a guilt on you.

I hope that other ladies will give you a better advice.

May God guide you and bless you!

 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Ladies..I need help /advice..this is too much!!! What should I do now? As some of you know I was living with my mom, Grandmother, bro, sil and nephews. I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I could barely take care of myself...at ALL! I was too busy taking care of mom and granny. Mom has back problems and granny is blind, bedridden and has dementia. On top of that , I had to wash, feed , change granny..Not easy. Plus, I was the one responsible for the cooking ,cleaning, i did the groceries. I spent 4 years waking up exhausted, being exhausted all day, going to work exhausted and coming back home exhausted...to take care of everyone to a point I had to decide between eating or sleeping. Going to bed at 3 to 4 or 5 am daily.:nono: Not to mentioned I did 2 years without working!!! So then I got a crummy part time job that I hate and make to most of it.

I moved out in hope of getting a career back, resting and taking care of myself. I was so happy to get my apartment.

I got a sister in law who is lazy..YES LAZY!! she doesn't clean nor do anything. All she does is eat without control to a point it's race to at food...we can't do groceries cause she lets thing spoil or she eats everything hides food, etc. Milk... urgh... 1 liter plus of milk goes in her tummy per day. I did 3 years without drinking milk..result my teeth are damage...lack of calcium. SHe doesn't work, lies that she goes to school when she is hangin with her friends. She doesn't work. She doesn't educate the kids...results we got a 4 year old nephew who still cannot talk or conversate..Both my nephews ( 4 years old & 1 are still wearing diapers.) she said she was going to stay at home and home school him...of course she then said she will not stay at home cause its too much work.

I'VE HAD IT!!!!


Got a call from mom telling me the sheriff came to the house... My bro got a letter telling him he owes 4000$ or they will take the house.:cry3: AGAIN!!! this happened earlier this year , now this happened again.

Now I'm being told that I left the house at the last minute, that I could have helped out... I make 600 tops bi-weekly. He makes at least 80,000$. His wife always asks to get money sent to her family abroad, to go shopping. To eat out. He doesn't put his foot down. I feel like i have to give up my dreamand my life to keep eveyone ok and out of trouble. Give up my life meaning, no more going to get an MBA, marriage , etc.... I got mom crying on the phone, my older bro crying as well. :cry3: All claims nothing ain't right since dad pased away 2005. I can't even be positive with them cause they always beleive in the worst...

I need help...I need a solution...I need to find a way to earn extra money...

I'm applying for jobs and at the same time I'm trying to get my own thing,, e marketing, affiliate marketing and freelance... I had thought about giving freebie trading another go...but i don't have a credit card.

My credit is not hot but i owe about 400$ all together to make it spotless and perfect. But at that point I will be getting the biggest loan imaginable to help everyone out. Then I'm stuck with the damage.

What now?

I'm thinking we might have to sell some stuff, but what...I dont what to do where to turn.. any advice help, etc?
Babygirl, you don't need advice.

What you do need is peace. And peace you shall have.

God didn't call you to change the family diapers.

Shame on your brother for letting the air out of his tires (weakening his hold on his call to responsibility) and not being a better stewart of his finances, adding the burden to your mother's already overwhelming circumstances.

Shame on his wife for being so irresponsible and so selfish.

If your mom cannot take care of your grandmom, then there's help available from assisted living care providers. Granted, the family should be first to care for our elder family members, but your grandmom needs a lot of attentive care and there are many, many beautiful persons, places and agencies who can help you find help for her. They can more than likely care for your mom as well, due to her back injury.

As for you...it's time to keep it moving. Pray and allow God to lead you. It's a frequent message that we quote and hear, I know (God's leading), but it's the best guidance that ever existed and I've never known God to fail us in leading and guiding us into all truth.

People cannot keep pulling and taking from you and not ever giving back. It's not what God wants for you. As family, it's give and give; not take and take. We all must do our part. You've done far above and beyond and you cannot be condemned for being burned out. You're only human and can give but so much. Fear not the family's tears and criticisms, fear only that you must take care of you otherwise you become weakened to of help to anyone.

Your family will be fine. Brother has to pay his debt and it's not your mom's house that God will allow to pay for it. It's not your mom's who owes the money, your brother does.

Blessings Angel and please be free to be just that, 'Free', the way that Jesus died on the Cross for you to be. :Rose:

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: It's gonna be alright :yep: It really will. Because God is in it, everything will be totally all right for each of you.
 

phynestone

Well-Known Member
Ladies..I need help /advice..this is too much!!! What should I do now? As some of you know I was living with my mom, Grandmother, bro, sil and nephews. I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I could barely take care of myself...at ALL! I was too busy taking care of mom and granny. Mom has back problems and granny is blind, bedridden and has dementia. On top of that , I had to wash, feed , change granny..Not easy. Plus, I was the one responsible for the cooking ,cleaning, i did the groceries. I spent 4 years waking up exhausted, being exhausted all day, going to work exhausted and coming back home exhausted...to take care of everyone to a point I had to decide between eating or sleeping. Going to bed at 3 to 4 or 5 am daily.:nono: Not to mentioned I did 2 years without working!!! So then I got a crummy part time job that I hate and make to most of it.

I moved out in hope of getting a career back, resting and taking care of myself. I was so happy to get my apartment.

I got a sister in law who is lazy..YES LAZY!! she doesn't clean nor do anything. All she does is eat without control to a point it's race to at food...we can't do groceries cause she lets thing spoil or she eats everything hides food, etc. Milk... urgh... 1 liter plus of milk goes in her tummy per day. I did 3 years without drinking milk..result my teeth are damage...lack of calcium. SHe doesn't work, lies that she goes to school when she is hangin with her friends. She doesn't work. She doesn't educate the kids...results we got a 4 year old nephew who still cannot talk or conversate..Both my nephews ( 4 years old & 1 are still wearing diapers.) she said she was going to stay at home and home school him...of course she then said she will not stay at home cause its too much work.

I'VE HAD IT!!!!


Got a call from mom telling me the sheriff came to the house... My bro got a letter telling him he owes 4000$ or they will take the house.:cry3: AGAIN!!! this happened earlier this year , now this happened again.

Now I'm being told that I left the house at the last minute, that I could have helped out... I make 600 tops bi-weekly. He makes at least 80,000$. His wife always asks to get money sent to her family abroad, to go shopping. To eat out. He doesn't put his foot down. I feel like i have to give up my dreamand my life to keep eveyone ok and out of trouble. Give up my life meaning, no more going to get an MBA, marriage , etc.... I got mom crying on the phone, my older bro crying as well. :cry3: All claims nothing ain't right since dad pased away 2005. I can't even be positive with them cause they always beleive in the worst...

I need help...I need a solution...I need to find a way to earn extra money...

I'm applying for jobs and at the same time I'm trying to get my own thing,, e marketing, affiliate marketing and freelance... I had thought about giving freebie trading another go...but i don't have a credit card.

My credit is not hot but i owe about 400$ all together to make it spotless and perfect. But at that point I will be getting the biggest loan imaginable to help everyone out. Then I'm stuck with the damage.

What now?

I'm thinking we might have to sell some stuff, but what...I dont what to do where to turn.. any advice help, etc?


Are you a mule? Is it your job to carry your entire world on your back? The answer is no. You can be a Christian and utilize the word 'no.' Let your family pull silly guilt trips, but you will be fine and they probably won't. If I were you, I'd have a little chat with my brother and sister-in-law. Let them know you can always call DSS and/or CPS if they can't take care of granny, mom and the kids. Sometimes you have to put your foot down or folks will take advantage.

There's nothing wrong with you wanting marriage, more education and things for yourself, especially if you're already doing so much for others. I find women have hard time saying no, whereas men do not. Women are expected to sacrifice and not want anything else, but it's okay if a man is selfish. Um, no.

Your brother needs to act like a man and your sister-in-law needs to stop being a liability and start being an asset.
 
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