Article on "Church Girls" what's your take?

LoveisYou

Well-Known Member
Torrence’s Take On Bishop Noel Jones and LisaRaye

Published by Torrence Glenn on Monday, November 21, 2011 at 10:58 pm.


Today (Monday, November 21) the internet went crazy (and understandably so) with news of a rumor that the Bishop Noel Jones (Pastor of LA’s megachurch City Of Refuge) was engaged to actress and reality TV star LisaRaye. I’ll admit I was equally drawn to the story and even more surprised but not for the reasons you may think. First, let’s get this out of the way. I spoke to sources close to the situation and yes they are dating. But no, they are NOT ENGAGED at this time. Now that would or should be the end of this post right? Well no… Blogs and websites (gospel and mainstream) have already covered the rumor of engagement part, no need for that from me. So like always, I want to tackle this thing with a little “perspective.” Ready?
So aside from the initial shock of “Bishop Noel Jones is marrying ‘Diamond’ from The Player’s Club,” (Own it, that was the first thought that came to your mind too…,) I got a bit concerned about something else. Something way more “interesting” (and important) in my opinion. I began to worry about how this news would affect some “church girls.” What do I mean? Well let me explain. (Warning: I’m going to talk frankly about some of the not so perfect parts of church culture. If you’re swimming in the deep end of the pool and can’t acknowledge any simple, albeit sometimes unfortunate truths about the institution you’re so passionate about this post may not be for you.) Ok, now that that’s out of the way back to “church girls.” Being the church boy I am I’ve known my share of church girls (it’s more than simply being a Christian male or female.) If you’ve grown up in church or been in church for a long while, especially if you’ve had the opportunity to be a part of a denomination, you know what I mean. As a church kid in general you grow up with certain general and some unspoken rules, truths and assumptions. Sometimes these rules, truths and assumptions can unfortunately create a bit of mania that if not checked will you lead to CRAZY. So when the news of this rumored engagement broke, I knew that chances of “church girl crazy” rising up were high.
Let me explain. Church girls are taught to be “different.” Although we all “sin and fall short of the glory of God” the goal is clear. You’re to be chaste, a virgin until you’re married if you can hold out (we all know how difficult that is), and if you don’t, at least try because one day a man of God will appreciate your sacrifice. Girls outside of church may seem to be having all the fun but you won’t have to go through what they go through. You’ll get a good man. A saved man. It takes a special woman; one who’s prayed up, spiritually mature, pure at heart, etc. If you want a man who’s “strong in the Lord” you’ve got to be a woman who can handle him, especially if he’s a preacher. All these sacrifices will prepare you for “him.”
But hold that thought because then something else happens. There’s a “shift” if you will. Half of your fellow church girls have gotten married, start having children and the other half are made to feel like something’s wrong. Because although they told you to “wait” they didn’t say for how long. They didn’t tell you that if you weren’t married and having children by a certain age they’d start to look at you strangely or hassle you about not being married by pretending to encourage you. So now there’s a conflict. You continue to hold out and do all the right things because it’ll be worth it. It’s at this moment for many church girls is where the “mania” sets in. This is the turning point. She may start giving in to insecurity, becoming the typical mean and angry “old maid.” Or better yet, she becomes 1 of 2 types of desperate. Desperate type 1 chases any good man they can find. He walks in the church, smiles and says hello and next thing you know: “God told me that’s my husband.” (Men run from these women like there’s a fire coming after them!) Desperate type 2 on the other hand wears her desperation on her sleeve and will just date anyone who shows interest… ANY interest. Forget compatibility, he told her she was pretty (or worse, that he loved her) and that was enough. She’s all in.
We all know these women. You may be her or on your way to being her. You’re doing your best to live saved, be a good Christian girl so that you’ll be ready and WORTHY. Then, you look up and one of the “bad girls” scoops in and gets the man and not just any man. But the Pastor, the Bishop, the one who’s first lady you thought would be on “his level” spiritually. You’re busy teaching Sunday School and she’s late to new member’s class. This is enough to drive a ‘church girl’ NUTS if she’s not careful. She looks at the facts and begins to lose it and get discouraged. He’s 60 something, new girl is 40 something. New girl is known for being “sexy,” something you were discouraged from doing because you were the good girl and the man of God wouldn’t respect you if you were like that. New girl just had a big divorce and was just on a reality show trying to find God again, etc. etc. etc. and she gets HIM anyway?
So when the news of Bishop Jones’ and LisaRaye’s relationship broke, my heart broke not for him (clearly) but for the church girls who would see this as a invitation to say “screw it. Clearly this ain’t worth it and this good girl thing ain’t working. Let me just go and do me.” This, my friends is a recipe for and the start of potential crazy. At the risk of sounding oddly deep or unnecessarily churchy, church girls this post is dedicated to you. Don’t let a relationship that you don’t understand (self included) cause you to lose it, think less of yourself or go against what you know is right for you. Trust me, there will continue to be plenty of stuff that will make you go “hmmmm???” Know who you are and trust God’s plan for YOU and not for LisaRaye, Bishop Noel Jones, your aunt Beulah or Kermit the frog. Trust me on this, doing what you think she or anybody else did will not get you what’s right for you. I hope you got it…. And for the those who must have a scripture , check out: Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 1:6. Just saying
 

Dellas

Well-Known Member
I understand the article. Grew up in the church and tried to do everything right but have not seen the proof in everyday life. I have learned that attraction is physical,as well as spiritual. His choice of a mate is a reflection of him and what he holds dear. Do I feel bad when some people breakthrough come instantly and others don' t...yes but we serve a God of grace. I pray one day AA women becomes the It girl and can attract various males of all races no matter her SES or size. The pool is small, I bet every time a single skinny girl see an overweight not so put together girl with a good guy...anger. One believe everyone should play by the same rule ...sometimes it doesn't happen that way.

Note: In general....who cares. This is a reflection on him. I always say the choice of a mate is a reflection on what is important to you. No one is a victim. We are all adults. I hope they are blessed....keep it going.:lachen:
 
Last edited:

Guitarhero

New Member
I wish to comprehend it...but I don't. Who is LIsaRaye? Is she not a good woman? That's not the lady on Housewives of Atlanta, is it? I thought she was already married.
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
In all honesty the 'Church Girl' he describes seems to be a person who is highly religious(works of the flesh) but not in a relationship with Jesus. BIG, HUGE, Honking difference! She seems to not have an understanding of the very nature and character of the Father. Why else would she respond to things that are none of her concern (if we do not have a direct responsibility in an area it is none of our business:blush:)? Like the relationships of others or what it looks(which is usually nothing like the reality) like God is doing in someone else's life? These are the thoughts and behaviors of an immature Christian IMHO. That's ok too. We all start somewhere. What may be lacking is seasoned women to provide wise and Godly advice. Just my :twocents: on the article. Thanks for sharing:yep:.
 

aribell

formerly nicola.kirwan
I thought the article was good because, like Prudent1 mentions, it highlights a religious mentality that can be pervasive. I think that's why he spoke directly to those raised in church. I was thinking along similar lines earlier because there's a preacher I listen to who always often talks about the bad choices women make and how "no man will want you" and how a promiscuous woman will be "dried up." But the reality is that regardless of the bad choices people make, rain falls on the just and the unjust. A woman who keeps herself pure thinking that that will bring Mr. Right along makes herself vulnerable to disappointment and bitterness. You can't follow Jesus as a means to an end. He is the end, not a husband.
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
^^actually he is a husband Jehovah Ishi


my thoughts: those 'church girls' who are rooted and grounded in Christ will not be moved by this..
 
Last edited:

LoveisYou

Well-Known Member
I thought the article was good because, like Prudent1 mentions, it highlights a religious mentality that can be pervasive. I think that's why he spoke directly to those raised in church. I was thinking along similar lines earlier because there's a preacher I listen to who always often talks about the bad choices women make and how "no man will want you" and how a promiscuous woman will be "dried up." But the reality is that regardless of the bad choices people make, rain falls on the just and the unjust. A woman who keeps herself pure thinking that that will bring Mr. Right along makes herself vulnerable to disappointment and bitterness. You can't follow Jesus as a means to an end. He is the end, not a husband.

Preach!!! so very true indeed.
 

Guitarhero

New Member
Background please...so this is the 1/2 Asian lady in HOA? Did she recently divorce and wishes to remarry a pastor? Why is someone using her as bad example of a christian? Who is Torrence? Another pastor?
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Background please...so this is the 1/2 Asian lady in HOA? Did she recently divorce and wishes to remarry a pastor? Why is someone using her as bad example of a christian? Who is Torrence? Another pastor?

www.google.com

"LisaRae McCoy"
 

LucieLoo12

Well-Known Member
Well I honestly believe that women shouldnt be envious or jealous of any sister getting married in the church..whether or not she feels the couple is wrong or right for each other...The bible says we shouldnt even be comparing ourselves amongst ourselves..

Just because Sis. Jane got a good husband and Im still single, will i look at myself any less or degrade my worth or charge God foolishly? Um no..What God has for me, is for me, and no one can take that from me...

And LisaRaye could be saved now :look:...I dont know, I havent kept up with her since Ive been saved...but if she is still "Diamond", then a woman of God should not be jealous of this situation at allll..and if my Bishop was dating "Diamond", I would seriously consider looking for another church, because if my spiritual leader is choosing "Diamond" as a spouse, wellll.....anyway.

Thats whats wrong with some women today. They feel like just because all the men are choosing the "LisaRaye's", they need to be one too...well um no..If a man wants a "Diamond", he can go find one because I will not lower my self worth or standard to get a man. We looks at ourselves as if something is wrong with us, when alot of the times thats not even the case.. He needs to come up to my standard or move on, because Im sure not lowering my standard...
 

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
LisaRaye sure loves those island men, huh? :lol:

Some things aren't easy to understand...

But,
Jesus approached a whore at the well.....

Hosea married a prostitute... :yep:
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
A baby christian and a mature man of faith with the responsibility of a congregation all I can see is problems ahead however, it is not impossible...

Well I honestly believe that women shouldnt be envious or jealous of any sister getting married in the church..whether or not she feels the couple is wrong or right for each other...The bible says we shouldnt even be comparing ourselves amongst ourselves..

Just because Sis. Jane got a good husband and Im still single, will i look at myself any less or degrade my worth or charge God foolishly? Um no..What God has for me, is for me, and no one can take that from me...

And LisaRaye could be saved now :look:...I dont know, I havent kept up with her since Ive been saved...but if she is still "Diamond", then a woman of God should not be jealous of this situation at allll..and if my Bishop was dating "Diamond", I would seriously consider looking for another church, because if my spiritual leader is choosing "Diamond" as a spouse, wellll.....anyway.

Thats whats wrong with some women today. They feel like just because all the men are choosing the "LisaRaye's", they need to be one too...well um no..If a man wants a "Diamond", he can go find one because I will not lower my self worth or standard to get a man. We looks at ourselves as if something is wrong with us, when alot of the times thats not even the case.. He needs to come up to my standard or move on, because Im sure not lowering my standard...
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
LisaRaye sure loves those island men, huh? :lol:

Some things aren't easy to understand...

But,
Jesus approached a whore at the well.....

Hosea married a prostitute... :yep:
See I thought about Hosea too. Gomer was no joke:drunk:.
 
Top