BLACK HAIR HATE!!..

[Crissi]

..Ok folks, am i the only girl that really DOESN'T get this? i have 4a/b natural hair, that has never been relaxed.. ive never really gotten that you have "bad hair", comment.. ive had the "Christina you need to stop shaving your head, grow it back", or "ou need a comb" (which is generally tru, lol when i had hair i'd go out looking like i just woke up -laziness, and with some nignorant folks ive had the "black hair don't grow" comment, however once i break it down to them they generally tend to say "ohhhh" (thats usually the dudes), some of my friends even share out the tips and knowledge i give with there parents, sisters, even their aunties who are hairdressers. Don't get me wrong their have been the a few comments that have me like , but not to the extent that i have heard others talk about. And among the dudes ive noticed they just like long hair. Point blank nothing to do with good hair, bad hair. I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair.. i am yet to be in a situation where my hair has been a problem, matter of fact i tend to get probs for my hair, the fact that i can shave it off LOW and still rock ocean drive/south beach, get hollas and get compliments from BLACK and white men and women, its never been against me getting a job (not that i know of), or doing political talks infront of the conservative party, i even wrote a article for my english language coursework on black hair. So ladies do you think that sometime we as black women have an inferiority complex when it comes to our hair, and that we take it ALOT more seriously than the rest of the world?, because i am yet to find people other than black people thinking that the world is against them because of their hair, last time i checked the world loved it, wish they had it, try to imitate it, and LOVE the fact that weare born with every texture, can rock it straight, afro, weaved, texturized, and they fact that the wind blows, its in a ponytail, but it ain't going no where. I guess i waffled on a bit, but it was just on my mind...

Crissi, x

 

[keluric]

With all the compliments I get on my hair, if I lived in a bubble, I'd swear that everyone loved natural hair. I'm with you on this.. I don't see the big deal.. maybe it's a regional thing?

 

[LuvLiLocks]

Hmmm, I agree with you to some extent. For the most part what I've noticed is that if hair is healthy and beautiful, no matter what the texture, grade or length, you will get compliments. I think that quality is definitely a big factor in hair. A 3inch 4zzz that is well kept is just as attractive as a 2c 24inches..IMO, and many people I know.

 

[CAPlush]

Um, no, it is not an "inferiority complex" and these women are not imagining things. Feel blessed that you have had such a positive experience doing whatever you want with your own hair.

 

[LuvLiLocks]

With all the compliments I get on my hair, if I lived in a bubble, I'd swear that everyone loved natural hair. I'm with you on this.. I don't see the big deal.. maybe it's a regional thing?

Your hair is da bomb, and I absolutely love RELAXED hair, but that doesn't stop me from drooling over natural heads like yours and Bubblin everytime I see pics.

 

[Crissi]

Um, no, it is not an "inferiority complex" and these women are not imagining things. Feel blessed that you have had such a positive experience doing whatever you want with your own hair.

I don't beleive that we imagine everything, however i feel that its blown out of proportion, but hey maybe it isa regional thing as Keluric said,aswell as what LovliLocks said, quality/health plays a big factor in it.

 

[CAPlush]

I have been natural off and on for the past decade, with 4a/4b hair. Health does play a big factor, but so does hair type. For some, saying that you are going to stop relaxing gets the same reaction as if you said you were going to stop bathing. I know you can't relate to the experience, and consider that to be a GOOD thing because you experience a lot more freedom than some.

 

[seraphinelle]

I find that on this site we're all here for the same goal, long hair.

Whether it's relaxed, natural, texlaxed, etc.

I think it's because we're all educated on that the health of our hair is important.

on the other hand, outside, most of the insults I get are from relaxed black females.

Most of my compliments come from non-black people.

 

[liveyourdreams]

my white friends have been pushing me to go natural for years and i have been refusing because of various reasons, reasons that i even question sometimes. my family does not want me to go natural and i do feel like that expresses some sort of self hate.......
i am now going natural to capture my own essence and feel like the real me.

 

[tsiporah]

..Ok folks, am i the only girl that really DOESN'T get this? i have 4a/b natural hair, that has never been relaxed.. ive never really gotten that you have "bad hair", comment.. ive had the "Christina you need to stop shaving your head, grow it back", or "ou need a comb" (which is generally tru, lol when i had hair i'd go out looking like i just woke up -laziness, and with some nignorant folks ive had the "black hair don't grow" comment, however once i break it down to them they generally tend to say "ohhhh" (thats usually the dudes), some of my friends even share out the tips and knowledge i give with there parents, sisters, even their aunties who are hairdressers. Don't get me wrong their have been the a few comments that have me like , but not to the extent that i have heard others talk about. And among the dudes ive noticed they just like long hair. Point blank nothing to do with good hair, bad hair. I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair.. i am yet to be in a situation where my hair has been a problem, matter of fact i tend to get probs for my hair, the fact that i can shave it off LOW and still rock ocean drive/south beach, get hollas and get compliments from BLACK and white men and women, its never been against me getting a job (not that i know of), or doing political talks infront of the conservative party, i even wrote a article for my english language coursework on black hair. So ladies do you think that sometime we as black women have an inferiority complex when it comes to our hair, and that we take it ALOT more seriously than the rest of the world?, because i am yet to find people other than black people thinking that the world is against them because of their hair, last time i checked the world loved it, wish they had it, try to imitate it, and LOVE the fact that weare born with every texture, can rock it straight, afro, weaved, texturized, and they fact that the wind blows, its in a ponytail, but it ain't going no where. I guess i waffled on a bit, but it was just on my mind...

Crissi, x

__________________________________________________________



So ladies do you think that sometime we as black women have an inferiority complex when it comes to our hair, and that we take it ALOT more seriously than the rest of the world?

I believe your answer is in the paragraph.


with some nignorant folks ive had the "black hair don't grow" comment, however once i break it down to them they generally tend to say "ohhhh" (thats usually the dudes),

Hmmm, we have been programmed. If we don't see it by now, blacks are considered low on the totem pole, and others pick on something that is unique-our hair- to say it is a curse. People in religious circles say that out hair is cursed. That has passed on to our psyche.......obviously.


I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair..

BINGO!!! This same thought passes to us.
I really do not think it was a hard question to answer. All we have to do is observe (regardless of our personal experiences.) I have never gotten a bad compliment either about my 4a texture, but I do know that the world generally doesn't see our hair as "it". As for how we feel about our hair, of course many of us are going to be more sensitive than others. It is a given. Recall:I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair..

Setting our personal experiences aside:
To add: look at BET as we continue to destroy our own self-esteem. Even the men think we should look like "others". So no wonder.

 

[Cheleigh]

I think it depends regionally and who you're around.

I don't recall having heard any negative comments about my natural hair, but I:
1. Am Older (meaning I'm pretty past the age of influence)
2. Have friends, family, and an SO who could basically care less
3. Live in an area that has quite a few naturals, so being natural is not "that" big of a deal

But just because this is my experience doesn't negate that there might be people who "are" talking smack about my nappy hair. I'm sure there are lots of people who are surrounded by negative folks who tell them "you need to do something with your hair, you need to put a perm or a press on it at least."

Are there naturals who are insecure and are projecting thoughts and emotions onto/into people's comments? Sure. But I don't think they are the majority by a long shot. I know that some folks still have a problem with certain black hair textures. I've read enough debates on myspace, black love, etc. talking about natural versus relaxed to not believe that. Some people really, truly feel that some folks' hair texture is "too nappy" to go natural. I've seen people talk about on hair sites that their "hair needs to have a perm."

For the record, I don't think most people hate black hair. I think some folks hate what black hair represents.

 

[leleepop]

I think it is a side effect from slavery and racism from back ine the day. Blacks sometimes had their head shaven before they even got on the slave ship. The slavery time is also when we were picking cotton 24/7, and for almost 100 years, we didnt have the culture from our ancestors to know what to do with our hair. I dont even think we wear allowed combs or the concept(too busy slaving) .Our hair dried out, and we got ringworm and whatnot. Fast forward to freedom and we had to look like white ppl to fit in with Eurocentric standard of

beauty. I need to stop reading these books they tend to piss me off. lol

On a better note I am so glad we have overcome theses adversities, and have a choice to make our own decisions.

 

[CaramelMiSS]

Personally I think it is a young high school, middle school elementary school thing. I used to here "C you have long hair but, it's not good hair" (whatever that means). I think as we get older the concept of good hair bad hair goes away. (There are some older people who still think good hair is straight but I just count them as being ignorant and immature). When I used to get my hair done at my old salon, the older women would be like "Baby you got some thick pretty hair", or " Look at all that hair that chile got". And this would be in a tone of admiration, and my hair was natural so it wasn't like it was straight.

 

[firecracker]

I agree with the regional and brainwashed from the slave era comment. I get love and hate since I went natural. Relaxed I got nothing but love.

 

[blazingthru]

I did not think natural was attractive. I remember I was in love with Diana Ross and we went to see her movie The Wiz. Then she came in there with that short, natural curly hair I was so upset. I wanted to see long hair swinging-- I could not believe she did that to her hair. Cher had came out on TV swinging her hair around and we fell in love with straight hair- no more afro's it did not swing. where I grew up everyone had afros and some girls had their hair straighten I did not know anyone who had a perm and really we only got our hair straighten for Easter. Afros were the norm--- everyone wore them. No stigma anywhere. Then the big change no more afros straight hair all the way. I think it was about 1978 -1980 when the relaxer was on top (in my world) and I no longer found natural hair attractive at all. I was taught it was ugly when your natural hair started showing through, you better hurry up and get your perm. I would hear this for the next 25 years. It was this site that cure me of it. But this is the way I grew up and all of my family members and all my friends except one feels that way still.

 

[Ms Lala]

I have had people say some nasty and offensive things about my natural hair and natural hair in general, it is not imagined at all. You don't hear people say this stuff about straight hair. I don't see why it's ok for someone to comment on my need to straighten or relax my hair but if I told someone w/straight hair that they needed to kink there's up people would think I was crazy. My friends mother told her she looked like a picaninny(sp) with natural hair. I've had my hair called ugly and other things but I don't let it get me down, it actually makes me want to stay natural.
Type 4a/b hair is not accepted by everyone. Typically in terms of curly hair, hair that is in the 3's is deemed more attractive by some. Now that I live in DC I mostly get wonderful compliments about my hair so it really just depends. Natural hair is kind of popular out here.

 

[HighlyFavored1]

I can not speak about natural hair at all, but as far as relaxed hair is concerned...I think that black relaxed hair can be beautiful and will receive plenty of compliments as long as it's healthy. A lot of relaxed heads get flak about their hair because there is a lot of misinformation in the black community about how to care for our hair. So of course people are going to think damaged hair looks bad, even if it's a white woman who has bleached her hair too much without taking care of it.

Personally I think it's part of our responsibility to show those around us that black hair, relaxed or natural, can be healthy and beautiful! I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons we're here, not only to prove it to ourselves, but also to educate and inspire others!

 

[angie10]

I think we black people are our own worst enemies. We're quick to point fingers at other people judging us, when infact we're doing it to ourselves. Other race of women don't always wear their hair in a natural state, it could be permed, relaxed or whatever; but you never hear too much about it.
I use to be natural when I was in junior high, I had a short natural hair. I didn't get any bad comments from other race of people. I mostly got comments like *you're so pretty, but if your hair was relaxed or longer you would be much prettier* I got that mostly from black women and men.
The bottom line is that we need to stop making such a big deal about our hair, it's really not that big of a deal. Learn to love your hair, I don't care if it's natural, relaxed or whatever. *It's just hair*

 

[jenteel]

tsiporah - i'm witcha!

I think we black people are our own worst enemies. We're quick to point fingers at other people judging us, when infact we're doing it to ourselves. Other race of women don't always wear their hair in a natural state, it could be permed, relaxed or whatever; but you never hear too much about it.

nobody gives other ethnicities flack about going blond
and i think that is a sick manifestation of colonialism also
it does annoy me that we can't make hair decisions w/out judgment
but point blank we have a history of being fed
that our hair is not good enough
therefore we "judge" other black women 4 their hair decisions when sometimes it is a convenience factor
now i am so pro natural
so when my sister in law decided to grow out her slick curly do
and asked me of all people to perm it for her - i did
because her hair was huge
it wasn't a texture issue b/c she is in the 3 range but her hair is like an animal's - gorgeously thick but it gets huge and she is little
no exaggeration huge thicker than any1's i've ever seen
and even relaxed its still huge and long
it was an issue of manageability so i'm not always so quick to accuse
black women with relaxers of being brainwashed
but i am aware that that is a belief a lot of relaxed women have

when i 1st decided to go natural
my friend in college said what r u going 2 do with ur hair?
now for me growing up my hair was so thick and long b4 my mom started pressing it - everybody loved it
so i had no hair issues going natural
it was smooth sailing
and i wanted to fight the nation that i had to have str8 hair to be beautiful
it still makes me nervous when people drool over my hair str8ened

but i just think people love alot of healthy hair in general
and yes i believe it is a regional thing

 

[Crissi]

I think we black people are our own worst enemies. We're quick to point fingers at other people judging us, when infact we're doing it to ourselves. Other race of women don't always wear their hair in a natural state, it could be permed, relaxed or whatever; but you never hear too much about it.
I use to be natural when I was in junior high, I had a short natural hair. I didn't get any bad comments from other race of people. I mostly got comments like *you're so pretty, but if your hair was relaxed or longer you would be much prettier* I got that mostly from black women and men.
The bottom line is that we need to stop making such a big deal about our hair, it's really not that big of a deal. Learn to love your hair, I don't care if it's natural, relaxed or whatever. *It's just hair*

ITA, thanks for the responses ladies...

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

Some of it's inferiority the other part is people can just say and do mean things to you because they don't like your hair. I did the natural thing so I now both sides. Yes men will holla at you if you can rock the natural with confidence. You can also miss the job you wanted because the person interviewing doesn't like your hair. I believe the person with the stronger attitude wins. If your going to to rock natural hair do or die people will learn to deal with it. On the flip side if they think they can get you to conform to how they want you to look then they will not rest until you conform.

 

[thefineprint]

no one gave a damn about my hair before i went natural. now i get compliments whereever i go because it is beautiful and 'exotic'. people love what is different - which is why a lot of men love black women with long hair too - because most black women don't have long hair.

there are some natural boards online that are too negative for their own good. they think EVERYONE and their momma should be natural. I disagree. People should be able to do what they want with their own body and not get ridiculed for it. I think healthy relaxed hair is simply beautiful.

But yeah, I've had nothing but love since going natural. Some men may not like it, but mine and that is all that matters to me.

 

[thefineprint]

Some of it's inferiority the other part is people can just say and do mean things to you because they don't like your hair. I did the natural thing so I now both sides. Yes men will holla at you if you can rock the natural with confidence. You can also miss the job you wanted because the person interviewing doesn't like your hair. I believe the person with the stronger attitude wins. If your going to to rock natural hair do or die people will learn to deal with it. On the flip side if they think they can get you to conform to how they want you to look then they will not rest until you conform.

If I missed a job opportunity because of my natural hair then I wouldn't want to work there in the first place.

 

[Crissi]

no one gave a damn about my hair before i went natural. now i get compliments whereever i go because it is beautiful and 'exotic'. people love what is different - which is why a lot of men love black women with long hair too - because most black women don't have long hair.

there are some natural boards online that are too negative for their own good. they think EVERYONE and their momma should be natural. I disagree. People should be able to do what they want with their own body and not get ridiculed for it. I think healthy relaxed hair is simply beautiful.

But yeah, I've had nothing but love since going natural. Some men may not like it, but mine and that is all that matters to me.

ITA with everything you said especially the bold

 

[Softresses]

I am going to risk getting tomatoes thrown at me here, but here goes...

I think that a lot of the negative image that naturals get is due to those with natural kinky hair that don't keep it up or keep it looking healthy and well kept. I have seen many a natural head of hair that was matted, lopsided from sleep, lint all in it, visibly dirty, in need of a trim etc.

If those people that distroy the image of natural afro textured hair would get with the program and take care of thier beautifully textured hair then I don't think it would get such a bad rap.

I have seen many heads of well kept aftros, twists, braids, cornrows, dreads, etc. They look very beautiful, and professional, and those are not the ones that I see getting looked down upon.

Softresses

 

[dimpalz]

I am going to risk getting tomatoes thrown at me here, but here goes...

I think that a lot of the negative image that naturals get is due to those with natural kinky hair that don't keep it up or keep it looking healthy and well kept. I have seen many a natural head of hair that was matted, lopsided from sleep, lint all in it, visibly dirty, in need of a trim etc.

If those people that distroy the image of natural afro textured hair would get with the program and take care of thier beautifully textured hair then I don't think it would get such a bad rap.

I have seen many heads of well kept aftros, twists, braids, cornrows, dreads, etc. They look very beautiful, and professional, and those are not the ones that I see getting looked down upon.

Softresses

I wont throw tomatoes I know what ur saying. That nasty heffers need to fix up. I'm not one of those people that's all "oh this because I'm black" and "that because I'm black" but if you're gonna do somethin intrinsically black you better do it right and wearin natural hair is one of those things!

Those people that don't know how to carry themselves are the ones that people create stereotypes from, especially if they're the only one. Example (a lil OT) Big Brother. Over here blacks are always the minority on the show and they're always acting the d@mn fool. Now if I lived in the countryside and we didn't have black people around I would think that's how they behaved. The same goes for natural hair. You don't see it on everyones heads and so when you do see it's something that is representative of black people, those people walking around with lint and fluff and knots and lopsided unwashed fros are just feeding people's ignorance and it's not a good thing.

I'm lucky enough to live in London where pretty much anything goes so this is definitely a regional thing. I might even go as far as saying it's a country/cultural thing and it definitely depends on the areas history.

Anyway that's my POV. Not many people cared that I was going natural, I think they were more concerned about the fact I'd have an inch of hair. It turned out great, I looked beautiful (if i do say so myself) and they all ate their words

 

[dynamic1]

I have received many responses and inquiries during my long transition. Some of the comments from black women, was amazingly negative. Keep in mind the comments were primarily when my hair was in a bun. But I believe these women are negative in general. In other words, they would have found something wrong with a woman's pinky toe!

Let's see....my favorites
"You need a pressing comb" while at the gym!
"you ain't gonna get a husband with no nappy hair"
Making my hair the topic at a conference table before a meeting.

Also, sometimes it is not what you say, but how you say it. Some women inquired if I was still relaxing with a pleasant demeanor and some women with a scowl on their faces.

I found men don't give a rat's rear (short, long, big, curly or the BAA).

Now, in most cases the "negataters" (yes I made up a word) had hair I would never comment on otherwise, but awful.

 

[Cayenne0622]

..Ok folks, am i the only girl that really DOESN'T get this? i have 4a/b natural hair, that has never been relaxed.. ive never really gotten that you have "bad hair", comment.. ive had the "Christina you need to stop shaving your head, grow it back", or "ou need a comb" (which is generally tru, lol when i had hair i'd go out looking like i just woke up -laziness, and with some nignorant folks ive had the "black hair don't grow" comment, however once i break it down to them they generally tend to say "ohhhh" (thats usually the dudes), some of my friends even share out the tips and knowledge i give with there parents, sisters, even their aunties who are hairdressers. Don't get me wrong their have been the a few comments that have me like , but not to the extent that i have heard others talk about. And among the dudes ive noticed they just like long hair. Point blank nothing to do with good hair, bad hair. I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair.. i am yet to be in a situation where my hair has been a problem, matter of fact i tend to get probs for my hair, the fact that i can shave it off LOW and still rock ocean drive/south beach, get hollas and get compliments from BLACK and white men and women, its never been against me getting a job (not that i know of), or doing political talks infront of the conservative party, i even wrote a article for my english language coursework on black hair. So ladies do you think that sometime we as black women have an inferiority complex when it comes to our hair, and that we take it ALOT more seriously than the rest of the world?, because i am yet to find people other than black people thinking that the world is against them because of their hair, last time i checked the world loved it, wish they had it, try to imitate it, and LOVE the fact that weare born with every texture, can rock it straight, afro, weaved, texturized, and they fact that the wind blows, its in a ponytail, but it ain't going no where. I guess i waffled on a bit, but it was just on my mind...

**************************************
My experience with other races is that they think our hair is problematic. They don't believe it can grow and while they sometimes find some of our versatile styles interesting and even cute, they wouldn't trade their for our hair FOR NOTHIN! Again, this is just what I've experienced from other races. Now, this could of course be due mostly for the relaxed heads because AA women have to spend soooo much money on hair products and even hair stylists. I spent my whole life hating my hair because I didn't know how to take care of it. One I learned how to take care of it and watched it grow and flourish, I stopped hating it. I don't love it but I don't hate it either.[/COLOR]

 

[tsiporah]

..Ok folks, am i the only girl that really DOESN'T get this? i have 4a/b natural hair, that has never been relaxed.. ive never really gotten that you have "bad hair", comment.. ive had the "Christina you need to stop shaving your head, grow it back", or "ou need a comb" (which is generally tru, lol when i had hair i'd go out looking like i just woke up -laziness, and with some nignorant folks ive had the "black hair don't grow" comment, however once i break it down to them they generally tend to say "ohhhh" (thats usually the dudes), some of my friends even share out the tips and knowledge i give with there parents, sisters, even their aunties who are hairdressers. Don't get me wrong their have been the a few comments that have me like , but not to the extent that i have heard others talk about. And among the dudes ive noticed they just like long hair. Point blank nothing to do with good hair, bad hair. I was reading on some other forum, and you would think that the entire world has something against natural afro hair.. i am yet to be in a situation where my hair has been a problem, matter of fact i tend to get probs for my hair, the fact that i can shave it off LOW and still rock ocean drive/south beach, get hollas and get compliments from BLACK and white men and women, its never been against me getting a job (not that i know of), or doing political talks infront of the conservative party, i even wrote a article for my english language coursework on black hair. So ladies do you think that sometime we as black women have an inferiority complex when it comes to our hair, and that we take it ALOT more seriously than the rest of the world?, because i am yet to find people other than black people thinking that the world is against them because of their hair, last time i checked the world loved it, wish they had it, try to imitate it, and LOVE the fact that weare born with every texture, can rock it straight, afro, weaved, texturized, and they fact that the wind blows, its in a ponytail, but it ain't going no where. I guess i waffled on a bit, but it was just on my mind...

**************************************
My experience with other races is that they think our hair is problematic. They don't believe it can grow and while they sometimes find some of our versatile styles interesting and even cute, they wouldn't trade their for our hair FOR NOTHIN! Again, this is just what I've experienced from other races. Now, this could of course be due mostly for the relaxed heads because AA women have to spend soooo much money on hair products and even hair stylists. I spent my whole life hating my hair because I didn't know how to take care of it. One I learned how to take care of it and watched it grow and flourish, I stopped hating it. I don't love it but I don't hate it either.[/color]

I think the major reason why they see it as problematic is because WE see it as problematic. You attitude about your self will show without saying anything, it is your actions and how one feels about their hair.

 

[angie10]

tsiporah - i'm witcha!



nobody gives other ethnicities flack about going blond
and i think that is a sick manifestation of colonialism also
it does annoy me that we can't make hair decisions w/out judgment
but point blank we have a history of being fed
that our hair is not good enough
therefore we "judge" other black women 4 their hair decisions when sometimes it is a convenience factor
now i am so pro natural
so when my sister in law decided to grow out her slick curly do
and asked me of all people to perm it for her - i did
because her hair was huge
it wasn't a texture issue b/c she is in the 3 range but her hair is like an animal's - gorgeously thick but it gets huge and she is little
no exaggeration huge thicker than any1's i've ever seen
and even relaxed its still huge and long
it was an issue of manageability so i'm not always so quick to accuse
black women with relaxers of being brainwashed
but i am aware that that is a belief a lot of relaxed women have

when i 1st decided to go natural
my friend in college said what r u going 2 do with ur hair?
now for me growing up my hair was so thick and long b4 my mom started pressing it - everybody loved it
so i had no hair issues going natural
it was smooth sailing
and i wanted to fight the nation that i had to have str8 hair to be beautiful
it still makes me nervous when people drool over my hair str8ened

but i just think people love alot of healthy hair in general
and yes i believe it is a regional thing

I know what you mean about your aunts hair, poor thing I never met anyone with hair so thick. Yeah you're saying exactly what I'm saying, there's no reason for anyone to worry about how someone else choose to wear their hair. I wear my hair how ever the heck I feel like it, the key thing is making sure is healthy and kept clean. Oh B.T.W your hair is really cute, I love the color