• Forum Upgraded: https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/recent-forum-upgrade.849851/

Black Woman Killed After Giving Money To Pandhandler

simone103

Well-Known Member
When I lived in NYC, I remember someone told me that her father's friend had a regular full-time job, but would panhandle for money at stop lights as his part-time job (and he made good money at it too) . Ever since she told me that story I side-eye every panhandler begging for money at an intersection. This may not be the case for all of them, but I think for the a lot of them it's a straight up hustle.
 

BrickbyBrick

Well-Known Member
My mom and I had just finished shopping at BJ's and were loading my kids in the car, followed by groceries when a black guy in decent clothes offered to assist getting the groceries in. My mom didn't resist and I was getting my son in his carseat so I wasn't close enough to the back of the car for him to hear me say no thanks. I was still buckling my son in when the guy started literally grabbing my stuff and and throwing it willy nilly into the car. as soon as i buckled in my son, I ran over and told him we have it from here. That fool stopped and said "you got a tenny on you?". I couldn't believe it. a ten spot for throwing my paper towels into my daughter's car seat. Maaaaaaaan..... I told him I didn't have any cash and that's when I saw my mom reach for her wallet. I told him she ain't got none either. he and I stared each other down for a good minute, like he wanted to do something. he sucked his teeth and walked away.

I am through with giving on the street.
 

GreenEyedJen

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.
 

Reinventing21

Spreading my wings
@GreenEyedJen

I completely get what you are saying because even though I agree with why people have changed their minds about giving, I do find myself cringing for the reason you described too.

However, the real problem is , how do we know whether it is a scam or not? People find it easier to just always give or always say no, instead of trying to figure out the true intentions of the person at that moment. Add in possible dangers...if it is dark, if you have your children with you, etc., you many choose to err on the side of safety even if your heart goes out to these people.

Plus what some people are describing sounds at times like outright bullying and harrassment by the person asking for a handout! That is not acceptable either.
 

BillsBackerz67

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.
My personal safety will always trumps how anyone else feels homeless or not:look:. For every begger I say no to on the street, there will be another person that will say yes and give food/ money. Even a few posters still say that they will give to people despite what happened to this woman. They’ll be fine.
 

GreenEyedJen

Well-Known Member
@GreenEyedJen

I completely get what you are saying because even though I agree with why people have changed their minds about giving, I do find myself cringing for the reason you described too.

However, the real problem is , how do we know whether it is a scam or not? People find it easier to just always give or always say no, instead of trying to figure out the true intentions of the person at that moment. Add in possible dangers...if it is dark, if you have your children with you, etc., you many choose to err on the side of safety even if your heart goes out to these people.

Plus what some people are describing sounds at times like outright bullying and harrassment by the person asking for a handout! That is not acceptable either.
My personal safety will always trumps how anyone else feels homeless or not:look:. For every begger I say no to on the street, there will be another person that will say yes and give food/ money. Even a few posters still say that they will give to people despite what happened to this woman. They’ll be fine.

I never said that someone else's needs should trump your own. I mean, obviously...it's not smart to pull out cash in a deserted alley or the middle of the night. You also shouldn't give money that you need for yourself. Those are things that should be clear from the get-go. Again, my issue is equating every homeless person with the one guy that gave you a hard time--just like whites do with us.
 

BillsBackerz67

Well-Known Member
I never said that someone else's needs should trump your own. I mean, obviously...it's not smart to pull out cash in a deserted alley or the middle of the night. You also shouldn't give money that you need for yourself. Those are things that should be clear from the get-go. Again, my issue is equating every homeless person with the one guy that gave you a hard time--just like whites do with us.
I do not think all homeless people are dangerous. However, being a woman of my size/ stature and constantly being alone, I’m always going to assume the worse to keep myself in check. I do the same thing at work when I’m dealing with patients. I know ALL of them don’t have AIDS/HIV or another blood borne diseases but I wear gloves anyway. Standard precautions.


The OP is about a woman being flogged to death by a homeless person so naturally the discussion is going to go in the direction of negative experiences dealing with the homeless. I am very empathetic to an extent and I help out in other ways than directly handing money to them.
 

BrickbyBrick

Well-Known Member
To be clear, I am an equal opportunity non-giver:look:. As we all know, grimy people come in all colors, shapes,sizes, and genders.

Just watch the panhandlers on Atlantic Avenue by Bedford when they discuss who has got which stretch of the Avenue for the next couple of hours to ask for money on. Or the panhandler who sorted the coins he got for the day and threw out the pennies and left them on the street.

Or the one in Westbury who had a better coat and cleaner Adidas then I did.

Guess I'm jaded.

ETA: I forgot about the two in downtown brooklyn who stated they were hungry, and my husband, who isn't jaded, offered to walk them into a place of their choice to buy food and they asked if they could have the money instead. Only one took him up on the offer. the other one tried to negotiate.
 

Ms. Tarabotti

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.

Clearly, the meaning of my post was lost in translation. Nevermind.

I think that I get your meaning and many people are out there because they need help to survive.

The problem is that sometimes it is hard to distinguish between who needs actual help and who is scamming people. Living in NYC, I have seen both, people who are in genuine need and are grateful for anything that they are given as well as people who fake disabilities, carry dolls around so that it looks like they have a child with them or berate/try to shame people when they don't get what they think they deserve.

Some people will give to anyone in need, some people make a distinction between who to give to (women with children, elderly, etc), some give to charities that help the homeless and some don't give at all. People need to give at the level they feel comfortable and safe with.
 

HappilyLiberal

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.


Sorry, but my safety comes first. I do not give to panhandlers on the street. I do donate my time and my money to charitable agencies set up to help street folks. If they don't want to go through those charities, that's on them! And quite frankly, I would not help black panhandlers either!
 

GreenEyedJen

Well-Known Member
I think that I get your meaning and many people are out there because they need help to survive.

The problem is that sometimes it is hard to distinguish between who needs actual help and who is scamming people. Living in NYC, I have seen both, people who are in genuine need and are grateful for anything that they are given as well as people who fake disabilities, carry dolls around so that it looks like they have a child with them or berate/try to shame people when they don't get what they think they deserve.

Some people will give to anyone in need, some people make a distinction between who to give to (women with children, elderly, etc), some give to charities that help the homeless and some don't give at all. People need to give at the level they feel comfortable and safe with.
Sorry, but my safety comes first. I do not give to panhandlers on the street. I do donate my time and my money to charitable agencies set up to help street folks. If they don't want to go through those charities, that's on them! And quite frankly, I would not help black panhandlers either!

The spirit and intent of my post is clearly not understood. I'm not stating that there are people that need help, even to someone's personal detriment--I'm stating that the way they are being talked about is exactly the way other groups talk about us. It's not about the color of the homeless person. It's about the way they are viewed in society (and this thread) as a group. Just like us. I can't explain anymore. So, again, nevermind.
 

Reinventing21

Spreading my wings
^^I think the reason you feel misunderstood is because you are trying to compare apples with oranges. I don't think you can compare the way people on this board are talking in this discussion about panhandlers with how other groups talk about Blacks.

The main message I see here regarding the OP is that people are saying they do not feel safe AT TIMES giving to people in the streets AND since there is no quick way to determine who is honest vs who is fraudulent, women are saying they choose to err on the side of caution.

I don't think anyone on this board is actually looking down on those truly in need or even stereotyping a whole demographic.

People ARE talking about negative experiences with giving to help others become aware of potentially dangerous situations as that is what the OP is about...a woman who was killed trying to be kind.
 

Gin&Tonic

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.

From childhood we are told to not talk to strangers. It is sound advice. You are not going to shame me for realizing that we are stupid to be going around handing out cash to random folks on the street. Bad experience or not it dumb in times like these.

I have had several bad experiences , I just didn't feel like going there. Here one more:

I was a fish spot during a street festival. All races were in line for fish. The panhandler approached me and asked for money. I quietly said that I didn't carry cash. He told me that if he didn't get cash , he would kill someone. He proceeded to whisper threats and scare me until the men in line heard and came to my rescue .
 

GreenEyedJen

Well-Known Member
From childhood we are told to not talk to strangers. It is sound advice. You are not going to shame me for realizing that we are stupid to be going around handing out cash to random folks on the street. Bad experience or not it dumb in times like these.

I have had several bad experiences , I just didn't feel like going there. Here one more:

I was a fish spot during a street festival. All races were in line for fish. The panhandler approached me and asked for money. I quietly said that I didn't carry cash. He told me that if he didn't get cash , he would kill someone. He proceeded to whisper threats and scare me until the men in line heard and came to my rescue .

No one is shaming you. Did you read the rest of my posts?

This is just ridiculous at this point. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Have a good weekend.
 

TrueBeliever

Well-Known Member
I never said that someone else's needs should trump your own. I mean, obviously...it's not smart to pull out cash in a deserted alley or the middle of the night. You also shouldn't give money that you need for yourself. Those are things that should be clear from the get-go. Again, my issue is equating every homeless person with the one guy that gave you a hard time--just like whites do with us.

Some people need a reason to not help others just like some whites need a reason to hate blacks. They were going to be that way regardless.

That said, for me it's like tipping. I give when I feel like it.
 

ThirdEyeBeauty

Well-Known Member
Dang. I do realize we need to be careful in these streets, but a lot of these posts read so much like how the others think about us--I had one bad experience with a Black person, so obviously all of them are like this and they don't need any help from us GOOD folk--that it's making me a bit upset.

I do get the need to be careful, but many people begging are doing it because they have to in order to survive. I'm surprised so many of us see it another way. I'm not posting this to be judgmental. I just needed to say that.
But you are comparing something that NO ONE can change (and why would you want to change) to something that can be changed. I'm a little upset with that. I help the needy.
 

ThirdEyeBeauty

Well-Known Member
I never said that someone else's needs should trump your own. I mean, obviously...it's not smart to pull out cash in a deserted alley or the middle of the night. You also shouldn't give money that you need for yourself. Those are things that should be clear from the get-go. Again, my issue is equating every homeless person with the one guy that gave you a hard time--just like whites do with us.
Who did that? Some ladies said they will never help a panhandler again. What's wrong with that if they free uncomfortable? This conversation should not have gotten to this level of talking about black vs white or something. It almost seems calculating.
 

BrickbyBrick

Well-Known Member
Clearly, the meaning of my post was lost in translation. Nevermind.

I want to apologize. If my post came off like I as though I was disagreeing, it was more that I'm still salty at some of those fools:lachen:.

I do understand and your meaning was not lost. In fact, I wish I felt the same. I've just been on the receiving end of one too many scams to ever see someone on the street with a less than cynical eye. But you balance people like me out and I thank you for that.
 

intellectualuva

Well-Known Member
“I already know it’s Keith,” he said. Trisvan said police provided no information to the family, but detectives had increasingly been asking the family about his sister’s relationship with her husband.

“All the questioning has been specific to Keith. That kind of sums it right there,” he said. “It never made sense. I told [detectives] from the very beginning there are no suspects out there.”


Trisvan said Keith Smith moved out of his sister’s Aberdeen house two weeks ago. He handed the keys over to Trisvan, and told the family he was moving to Florida. Trisvan said his sister owned the home.

He said Keith Smith removed all the appliances from the home.

https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bs-md-ci-jacquelyn-smith-update-20190303-story.html

I'm not surprised SHE owned the home. All that talk about what she does for a living, nothing about him though. Usually articles say, The husband, insert job here, ......something referencing him working and I didn't see a single article mentioning that.

As for taking out all the appliances, I dont understand. What kinda move us that.....o_O
 
Top