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Black Women Don't Have Long Hair Vent

Cinnabuns

Active Member
Country gal said:
She is one of these know it all women. We went to the same stylist. The stylist told her my hair was damaged (too much pressing). She told my coworker her hair was healthy. So I couldn't tell her nothing about hair. Now who does she come too for advice on natural hair. She wants to know what I am using in my hair. Why doesn't her hair wave up like mine? I tried to tell her about pressing too much. She thinks the only way to trim her hair is to press it. She is natural too.

Hmmm...maybe all that pressing with catch up to her one day. (not wishing anything bad on anyone). Maybe one day she'll get the picture! I do think that it is very nice of you to offer her advice.:)
 

Blossssom

New Member
MizAvalon said:
WOW!! :shocked: I would love to see a sister like that! Heck, I hope to BE that sister before too long. :lol:

Yea, it was truly amazing. It wasn't just waist-length, meaning, the hair at the back of her head reached her waist. Her entire HEAD was waist-length!

I haven't seen hair on a black woman like that since she and I lost touch with each other.

And she was a 4a/b, too!

I remember the first time I saw her getting her hair done, I did everything within me not to stare, but I couldn't help it! LOL! :)
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
Blossssom said:
Yea, it was truly amazing. It wasn't just waist-length, meaning, the hair at the back of her head reached her waist. Her entire HEAD was waist-length!

I haven't seen hair on a black woman like that since she and I lost touch with each other.

And she was a 4a/b, too!

I remember the first time I saw her getting her hair done, I did everything within me not to stare, but I couldn't help it! LOL! :)


She must have been a superstar in that salon! Folks were probably asking her questions from the time she set foot in there until the time she left. How did she get her hair done?
 

Blossssom

New Member
MizAvalon said:
She must have been a superstar in that salon! Folks were probably asking her questions from the time she set foot in there until the time she left. How did she get her hair done?

She wore it flat-ironed.

I can imagine wherever she goes people ask her questions... or just GAWK like I used to :eek:

I never heard or saw anyone talking to her about her hair, though. It was always real quiet in the salon when she was there.

Of course, I wanted to ask her questions about her hair, like "how did you get your hair that damn long?", but I didn't want her to see the gleeful envy in my overly interested eyes :lol:

I also think some people aren't always comfortable when others ask them about their hair, so when I did have the chance to talk to her, I never mentioned her hair. Didn't want to seem like a freaking fan! :)

It was enough of a task keeping my eyes focused on her face as she talked, but all the while casting sneak-a-peeks over her shoulder! LOL!
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
Blossssom said:
I never heard or saw anyone talking to her about her hair, though. It was always real quiet in the salon when she was there.


It was always quiet when she was there because everyone was hypnotized by that gorgeous hair! *You are getting very sleeeepy....* :lol: :lol:
 

Blossssom

New Member
MizAvalon said:
It was always quiet when she was there because everyone was hypnotized by that gorgeous hair! *You are getting very sleeeepy....* :lol: :lol:

It was a trip!

I told my sister about the girl's hair and she was like "she's probably mixed". I told her "no, she is 98% black like me and you"! Ha! :)

It's so funny, though, now that I think about it, the excuses people come up with to explain away a black woman with long hair.

"Oh, it's not hers"; or, "She must be mixed". Stuff like that. It almost seems incompre-HENSIBLE that a 4a/b black woman can have hair past her ear lobe.

Sad...
 

balisi

New Member
Hi ladies - allow me to interject my very humble opinion. I believe that one's perception of long hair is relative mainly to two things: location/population, and definition of what is long hair. When I was growing up, it never occurred to me that black girls/women don't have long hair because I knew many who did. Most of the women in my extended family had/have long hair, and so did many of my friends, classmates and neighbors. I suspect that growing up in NYC had something to do with seeing so many long-haired beauties -- you know, it being such a melting pot and all. "Mixed" or not, the lot of us would not be mistaken for anything other than black, and there were some 4s in the bunch with waist length or close to it. My best friend was one of them. Second, I always defined long hair as being at least long enough to hit the top of the shoulder blades in back (just above BSL). I later found that others define long hair as beginning at just above shoulder length, which I define as medium length. So it's all relative.
 

Blossssom

New Member
Good points, Balisi...

For me, long hair is bra strap. Very long is waist length. Anything past that is just :shocked:

Short hair is anything about the shoulders, and medium length hair is shoulder and slightly past.
 

aminata

Well-Known Member
I agree with Balisi--in terms of what is perceived as long/short.

Sometimes I feel that within our own community we perpetuate the stereotype that black women cannot have long hair--that it must be a weave--etc. --and many of us actually believe this. And we are the first to make fun of weaves, fake hair, etc. etc.

For some reason black hair is really mysterious--I don't know how others see 'black' hair but I feel like I've spent years of my life answering questions about my hair and 'black' hair in general. Hair is hair--before I started transitioning I would wear my hair straight--sometimes I would decide to wear it natural looking. The questions the questions--then it would be straight again--people were very confused if I blew out my hair then the next week wore it curly......why?????

My mom wore a various short styles--twa's or short, relaxed hair for most of her adult life. In the last 5 years she's been wearing locks--and her hair is like the pretty cut and grow doll--her locks grow really long--she cuts them and a couple months later they are long again. Many people are constantly wanting to touch her hair (they can't be real) b/c she's always worn short styles.

Most of the women in my extended family have always had long hair--each with their own unique afro-textured hair--I'm the only one with same length always hair!!!

(sorry if I got off -topic)
Anyways--even on this board we are always questioning whether so-and so hair is real....so if we don't believe that black women can have 'long' hair--why are we surprised when others say ignorant things?
 

Blossssom

New Member
aminata said:
Anyways--even on this board we are always questioning whether so-and so hair is real....so if we don't believe that black women can have 'long' hair--why are we surprised when others say ignorant things?

Excellent point!
 

CatSuga

New Member
MizAvalon said:
I hate to be the wet blanket in the thread, but it *is* true that most black women don't have long hair.

True that.

Offtopic: My Asian friend's (who's hair I tried to sell here :look: ) parents told her not to date black men because they only like her because she has long hair. :lachen:
 
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Stormy

Well-Known Member
Ummm... is it just me, or is anyone else compelled by this thread to at least let their hair grow to bra strap length? Shoot my only goal was to have healthy shoulder length hair, but now I'm thinking about growing it much longer just to dispel the myth that we don't have long hair!! :lol: Think I'll try... shoulder blade.

By the way, I'd say about 30 to 40% of black women (in my area) do really have long hair, because I'm surrounded by women with bra strap length hair everyday. To me that's long. their hair types range anywhere from 3 something to 4A or 4B.
 

Queenie

Well-Known Member
Stormy said:
Ummm... is it just me, or is anyone else compelled by this thread to at least let their hair grow to bra strap length? Shoot my only goal was to have healthy shoulder length hair, but now I'm thinking about growing it much longer just to dispel the myth that we don't have long hair!! :lol: Think I'll try... shoulder blade.

By the way, I'd say about 30 to 40% of black women (in my area) do really have long hair, because I'm surrounded by women with bra strap length hair everyday. To me that's long. their hair types range anywhere from 3 something to 4A or 4B.

It's funny the more posts I see like this, :mad: the more I think that maybe I'll change my goal to waistlength. My goal is brastrap and I think that is all that I'll be able to handle since a have thick hair. I also only consider someone to have long hair if it's past armpit length. Below brastrap is very long. One day I'll be there... :p
 

Eiano

Well-Known Member
We know the truth.

Well WE all know just how long a black woman's hair can get *cough* UNLV, sherry, adrienne *cough*

But I know that at least 70% of why I want to grow my hair is for me, and the ther 30% is to represent.
 

Country gal

Well-Known Member
Blossssom said:
It was a trip!

I told my sister about the girl's hair and she was like "she's probably mixed". I told her "no, she is 98% black like me and you"! Ha! :)

It's so funny, though, now that I think about it, the excuses people come up with to explain away a black woman with long hair.

"Oh, it's not hers"; or, "She must be mixed". Stuff like that. It almost seems incompre-HENSIBLE that a 4a/b black woman can have hair past her ear lobe.

Sad...


This is why I started this ranting thread. Why is there such a disbelief that black women can't have long, healthy hair.
 

Country gal

Well-Known Member
CatSuga said:
True that.

Offtopic: My Asian friend's (who's hair I tried to sell here :look: ) parents told her not to date black men because they only like her because she has long hair. :lachen:


:lachen: :lachen:
 

Country gal

Well-Known Member
Stormy said:
Ummm... is it just me, or is anyone else compelled by this thread to at least let their hair grow to bra strap length? Shoot my only goal was to have healthy shoulder length hair, but now I'm thinking about growing it much longer just to dispel the myth that we don't have long hair!! :lol: Think I'll try... shoulder blade.

By the way, I'd say about 30 to 40% of black women (in my area) do really have long hair, because I'm surrounded by women with bra strap length hair everyday. To me that's long. their hair types range anywhere from 3 something to 4A or 4B.


Especially since my coworker A didn't include me in the long hair catergory. I am going to show this ***** just how long my hair can grow.
 

Country gal

Well-Known Member
aminata said:
(sorry if I got off -topic)
Anyways--even on this board we are always questioning whether so-and so hair is real....so if we don't believe that black women can have 'long' hair--why are we surprised when others say ignorant things?


I have seem people openly discuss other board member's hair as being fake. I just don't understand hair board lurkers buying into the myths. The hair board should be a major myth buster.
 
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sylver2

Well-Known Member
well, me personally..I grew up in NYC and mostly everyone I knew or saw had long hair. I moved down to DC and since I've been here, I rarely see anyone with long hair. The majority wear weaves(obvious ones) and wigs or short hair cuts. I have never seen so many asian beauty supply stores with hair pieces, they are everywhere here. lol, those asians have so little faith in our black hair. I've seen some shoulder length girls, but once in a blue moon I'll see a girl with bra strap hair and on. One of the DC hair care meetings I went to was the first time I saw ladies with long nice hair..Dana, nay007, mochalita etc
To me, long hair starts at shoulder length and beyond.
I get crazy stares, but no one ever says anything. I think I'm just dismissed as another weave wearer..lol
 

senimoni

New Member
I would agree....alot of Black woman don't have long hair..not that they couldn't grow it if they took care of it but I digress. If it was so common place...people wouldn't be so in awe over shoulder length hair. And they wouldn't be staring at Sylver...LOL.
 

esoterica

New Member
of course its possible for afro hair to grow long. assuming its looked after. but if we're honest, it's not the norm to see past bra strap 4a/b hair. i love the way my hair looks long. thats mainly why i'm growing it. i know that when i finally get to waistlength it will put me in a position to dispel quite a few myths. with friends, family and strangers.
 

SweetNic_JA

Well-Known Member
I wonder what black womens' hair was like BEFORE relaxers and pressing combs became popular. I remember seeing an old black and white picture when the relaxer premiered and the ladies hair were really thick and varied from shoulder to mid shoulderlengths in large curls...When I saw the picture I immediately asked myself how long did it take for those ladies to lose their hairs.

With that in mind, I believe we can all grow our hair to lengths if we avoid certain products and grooming techniques (i.e relaxer is krytonyte to my thin strands) . I see a lot of long haired ladies whenever I go to NY (mostly BK and Mhtn). I think it's because more of these ladies are aware of the better choices in hair care than do say, some of the girls that went to my schools in CT - not to say they didn't have long hair, it just wasn't as common. When people know how to care for their hair and stop thinking that slapping a "perm" on your head (from root to tip) is proper hair care then, more and more black women will have longer hair.
For instance before joining the underground society of black hair boards, I would have never achieved lower shoulder/mid back length hair. That length was only possible through what I learned online. Now, I'm learning more so next time around my hair will not only be longer it will be a lot thicker (damn you accutane and revlon realistic :mad:)

When we see more women tuning into these boards and taking these tips, the argument about black women and long hair will erode.
 

Blossssom

New Member
senimoni said:
I would agree....alot of Black woman don't have long hair..not that they couldn't grow it if they took care of it but I digress. If it was so common place...people wouldn't be so in awe over shoulder length hair. And they wouldn't be staring at Sylver...LOL.

People would probably stare at Sylver anyway because she's so good looking. The hair is a freaking fringe benefit! :)

I agree, though. People stare their a$$es off when they encounter a black woman with long hair.
 

Blossssom

New Member
CatSuga said:
Offtopic: My Asian friend's (who's hair I tried to sell here :look: ) parents told her not to date black men because they only like her because she has long hair. :lachen:

Were they lying?

Yea, and they told her not to date white men because what?

Yea, with men, it always seems there's a "special" reason when they date outside of their race :)
 

Blossssom

New Member
Country gal said:
Especially since my coworker A didn't include me in the long hair catergory. I am going to show this ***** just how long my hair can grow.

Again, how long is your hair, CG?

And as another poster said, it's almost like black women have to PROVE we too can grow long hair.

I believe that feeds into the obsession with long hair. I never felt I had toi prove anything to anyone, but I can understand those that do.
 

Blossssom

New Member
sylver2 said:
well, me personally..I grew up in NYC and mostly everyone I knew or saw had long hair. I moved down to DC and since I've been here, I rarely see anyone with long hair. The majority wear weaves(obvious ones) and wigs or short hair cuts. I have never seen so many asian beauty supply stores with hair pieces, they are everywhere here. lol, those asians have so little faith in our black hair. I've seen some shoulder length girls, but once in a blue moon I'll see a girl with bra strap hair and on. One of the DC hair care meetings I went to was the first time I saw ladies with long nice hair..Dana, nay007, mochalita etc
To me, long hair starts at shoulder length and beyond.
I get crazy stares, but no one ever says anything. I think I'm just dismissed as another weave wearer..lol

It wouldn't surprise me one iota if you have been "dismissed" as a weave wearer.

When I was wearing my hair semi-natural, I was assumed to have a weave by some family members. My sister had to set them STRAIGHT!

Now that my hair is straight, I wonder what people think when they see my hair. It's almost BSL in the back. I can't wait for it to become a FULL BSL, though :)

A comment about Asian beauty supply. Not only do they not have faith in our hair, they don't seem to care for black people in general. They sell the cheapest of hair products. I went to a beauty supply store one day to have a little "fun".

I knew they didn't carry anything that was over $5, and I started asking the "shopkeeper" do you have Nexxus (no), Mizani (no), and I just named a few high-end hair care producers, knowing full well he didn't carry any of them. Heehee! :)

Here in California, many women wear weaves. The weaves down in southern Cali are a better quality and much "tighter" than the weaves here where I live (northern Cali).

Some of the weaves I see are absolutely unspeakable!
 

Tiffany

New Member
MizAvalon said:
I hate to be the wet blanket in the thread, but it *is* true that most black women don't have long hair. :look:


Exactly, most/many do not. But there are quite a few on here.
 

Blossssom

New Member
SweetNic_JA said:
I wonder what black womens' hair was like BEFORE relaxers and pressing combs became popular. I remember seeing an old black and white picture when the relaxer premiered and the ladies hair were really thick and varied from shoulder to mid shoulderlengths in large curls...When I saw the picture I immediately asked myself how long did it take for those ladies to lose their hairs.

With that in mind, I believe we can all grow our hair to lengths if we avoid certain products and grooming techniques (i.e relaxer is krytonyte to my thin strands) . I see a lot of long haired ladies whenever I go to NY (mostly BK and Mhtn). I think it's because more of these ladies are aware of the better choices in hair care than do say, some of the girls that went to my schools in CT - not to say they didn't have long hair, it just wasn't as common. When people know how to care for their hair and stop thinking that slapping a "perm" on your head (from root to tip) is proper hair care then, more and more black women will have longer hair.
For instance before joining the underground society of black hair boards, I would have never achieved lower shoulder/mid back length hair. That length was only possible through what I learned online. Now, I'm learning more so next time around my hair will not only be longer it will be a lot thicker (damn you accutane and revlon realistic :mad:)

When we see more women tuning into these boards and taking these tips, the argument about black women and long hair will erode.

You're so right, Sweet. A lot of women lost their hair during the "premiere" of the perm.

My mother tried the perm one time and it burned her so bad that she went back to having her hair pressed out. That was about 25 years ago.

I remind my stylist to put the perm on the roots only, and not try and pull that root to tip crap. That over-processed my hair when he used to do that when I wore it semi-natural. I think when he was doing that he though it was okay because I CO'd every day, but it was not and I had the ends to prove it.

Luckily, I didn't have to chop half my hair off (burnt up). I cared for it, watered it once in a while and trimmed it. Most of the damage is gone, and even before that, the damage almost seemed to reverse. I know that's not the case, though. My TLC is what made the damaged hair work with the new hair, and they looked almost a like :)

I wonder, too, what did black women do before "Madame". I guess they were NATURAL! YYYYAAAAAYYYYY! :)
 
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