Celibacy

[disgtgyal]

He is responsible for his actions, but we cant leave an open door to the enemy and get mad when he comes in a set up shop, we created the environment for this behavior to occur. We are all part of the body of Christ and those who compromise make it difficult for those struggling with that particular sin and those who don't compromise

 

[Poohbear]

I completely agree with you poohbear submission comes after marriage, and God knows our heart so He knows whether we would submit or not. Yes you treat each other like brothers and sisters in Christ, but there in a courting period and I'm sure if he's courting you, you don't want him to behave in the same manner to the other sisters in Christ the way he's behaving towards you

You made a good point here that applies to why woman shouldn't let down their guards completely to a man before marriage. If you are behaving as brothers and sisters, worrying about whether he is treating other sisters in Christ in the same manner should not make the woman upset only because you two are NOT married yet. And here's the other thing about this... you are less likely to get upset with a man courting another woman if you have not been financially or sexually invested in this man before marriage.

 

[brg240]

disgtgyal
sam doesn't sound like a winner to me :/ This actually kinda rubs me the wrong way

tbh i wouldn't lose too much sleep over sam not wanting to be with me. If he's not game with celibacy clearly we won't work out. I need someone i can grow with spiritually and Sam wouldn't be it. He doesn't see what's wrong with what he's doing.

I see what you are saying about bringing wifely attributes to the table but what husbandly qualities is Sam bringing?

Sam to me is just saying that he knows he's desirable as a Christian male so he doesn't have to do anything. That's really not someone I want in my life.

 

[Guitarhero]

No one is saying you should compromise and sleep with "sam", in fact women compromising is why "sam" is in the position he is in. Those who refuse to believe that many Christian men think like "sam" I suggest you ask a few of your brothers in christ who aren't virgins and who will be completely honest with you. Whether we want to accept it or not, the fact is this mentality is very prevalent among christian males; how many women in this thread are single, celibate, but ready to be in a relationship? Now i'm not saying you should cow-down to any and every christian man that comes your way, but what I'm saying is if you come across one that truly loves you, treats you well, meets your needs, but he struggles with sex, then you need to be mindful of that and show him why you are worth the wait, and meet his other needs that's my point. I don't see why or how that's wrong, and if shimmie can enlighten me i'm open to it

I've been married before. Many men, no matter the religion or no religion, think and behave this way. Those simply are not for me. I want something totally different. I'm a little confused as to what the point is, though. Acting all wifey and giving him some isn't a christian behavior, period. I think we're all saying we're worth the wait. But Sam wasn't waiting and was bringing home std's and whatnot.

 

[disgtgyal]

Poohbear I don't know any woman christian or otherwise that wouldn't be upset if a guy who is courting you is courting other women simultaneously regardless if you've invested sexually or financially because you've invested your time. And if in fact you wouldn't be upset then why is sam a bad guy is it because he's courting other women who will give him what one isn't, isn't he deciding who to "settle with"

 

[LoveisYou]

You can't say you're saving yourself because you're following God but then say I'm not gonna submit to him, you can't pick and choose which part of the bible you will obey, I'm sorry. IMO God isn't going to give you a godly spouse if you don't believe in submission.

Sam is a Godly spouse?

Sam is completely unrepentant about fornication. God loves a broken and contrite spirit and a repentant heart. With his mouth and deeds Sam has basically turned toward his own lusts, with pride he says he will continue to sin unless a woman does certain things. Do you see that pride? That refusal to honor God? Do you notice the door he has left for the enemy to stand on? Do you know the potential consequences this can have for his life? If he is so unrepentant why do you think marriage will change that? What will happen the day he is not pleased with his wife? Since he's choosing to dishonor God to do his own thing now don't you think he'll do the same thing then? Unless we repent....

 

[Guitarhero]

He is responsible for his actions, but we cant leave an open door to the enemy and get mad when he comes in a set up shop, we created the environment for this behavior to occur. We are all part of the body of Christ and those who compromise make it difficult for those struggling with that particular sin and those who don't compromise

I'm back again...but I do not comprehend this right here. How would I have set up this type of situation? By accepting his invite to dinner and the movies? I'm not worth 9 bucks for a movie ticket and $20 dinner-for-two special at TGIF's? That's spoiling me once a month? Compromise in giving it up? Sure, difficulties. But we're not talking about giving it up. He ain't willing to wait and is getting it elsewhere. Where's my sin exactly? How did I create the environment? If anything, it'd be first date and him trying to get to homebase...and no subsequent date. If it came up months into the relationship and he's pressuring me for sex and I don't wish to give in, my not cooking, cleaning and being his mother isn't contributing to his behavior. I'd have to let him go. Women are not responsible for the Sam's in the world. They are responsible for themselves. I thought the whole point about Sam was that he was a sleezy guy who saw women as a piece of meat. His friend was a nice guy and was trying to get him to see that a moral women would make a better wife. Sam is trying to convince his friend that he can't buy the cow until he butchers it and eats it up.

 

[Guitarhero]

@Poohbear I don't know any woman christian or otherwise that wouldn't be upset if a guy who is courting you is courting other women simultaneously regardless if you've invested sexually or financially because you've invested your time. And if in fact you wouldn't be upset then why is sam a bad guy is it because he's courting other women who will give him what one isn't, isn't he deciding who to "settle with"

I'm trying to follow and I think I have most of it. To the bolded, no, because I'm deciding with whom I will settle. I'm not passive in this process. I'm not sitting there hoping some dude will feel sorry enough for me to marry me and whatnot while I put on the Easybake machine and apron. I'm interviewing them and vetting them. I'm comparing and examining fully. I'm an active part of this process and nobody wifes me...I agree to enter a marriage partnership equally...but nobody wifes me at all. No, un uh! I'm not Cro-Magnum at all. No clubs and rocks to the skull and carrying me off to the cave .

 

[disgtgyal]

Guitarhero you misunderstood me, or rather I wasn't clear. When I said we set the environment I meant by women compromising and choosing to give it up "sam" has an alternative to you, someone not willing to give it up. If we as christian women all held the same principles when it comes to pre- marital sex, then he would have to look outside the body of christ for a wife, and that is why I strongly believe women are partly responsible for the sams out there. And what makes you worth dinner and a movie, is it because you're a women and he has to come out his pocket for you, if you're in fact about partnership why not split the cost of the date.

 

[Guitarhero]

I thought we were all on the same page in NOT giving it up. Shrugs. Sigh, you made mention about women being basically spoiled by dinner etc. People spend money on each other. I don't think a woman is spoiled by 30 bucks for a date once a month...and vice-versa. Dutch is the norm these days.

I'll say this, though, any man who is too cheap to gift his girlfriend isn't going to be a good husband and father. We're not talking about jewels and Laboutins...we're talking about somebody who places a person above the worth of his money. You show that in spending, often. And if you will, maybe women show his worth in their lives by serving him a little?

 

[disgtgyal]

I'm trying to follow and I think I have most of it. To the bolded, no, because I'm deciding with whom I will settle. I'm not passive in this process. I'm not sitting there hoping some dude will feel sorry enough for me to marry me and whatnot while I put on the Easybake machine and apron. I'm interviewing them and vetting them. I'm comparing and examining fully. I'm an active part of this process and nobody wifes me...I agree to enter a marriage partnership equally...but nobody wifes me at all. No, un uh! I'm not Cro-Magnum at all. No clubs and rocks to the skull and carrying me off to the cave .

Well I believe it's the man's job to find a wife the bible says he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, its his job to seek me out and propose to me, and it is my job to seek the lord whether he is the one for me.

 

[Poohbear]

Poohbear I don't know any woman christian or otherwise that wouldn't be upset if a guy who is courting you is courting other women simultaneously regardless if you've invested sexually or financially because you've invested your time. And if in fact you wouldn't be upset then why is sam a bad guy is it because he's courting other women who will give him what one isn't, isn't he deciding who to "settle with"

Not understanding the last part but I'm not talking about Sam who wants to have sex with all these women. I'm just talking about a man in general who is courting (no sex involved) me and other women. I wouldn't see him as a bad guy if he decides to settle with another woman he has been courting. That's just life. I might be upset since I am human if I really wanted to be with the guy, but I shouldn't be extremely unreasonably upset if I haven't given him my money, body, or whole heart to him before getting married. I'm sorry but there is a difference in breaking it off with a guy you never had sex with compared to a guy you have had sex with. It's that unhealthy tie with the guy you had sex with that attached you to him and makes you wonder, "Why doesn't he want me? We had good sex, blah blah blah"... When you haven't had sex with the guy, it's easier to move on.

 

[Guitarhero]

Well I believe it's the man's job to find a wife the bible says he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, its his job to seek me out and propose to me, and it is my job to seek the lord whether he is the one for me.

I'm part of the process. G-d isn't going to utter a command for me to marry somebody. He can show me that said-person is a good match but I don't have to marry that person. I'm not waiting for somebody to seek me out and proclaim me his bride. I have to have a part in that process. In other words, I'm not looking to Jesus while some human being determines my life story and I ignore that shmucky person he truly is..Sam. Well, if it works for you that way, then that's great. That's not how I ever wish to do things. We all are to look to the L-rd, not just women. I'm not a lady in waiting. I believe that scripture is referring to the goodness of marriage period, not that he's supposed to find her and she stands there in the desert waiting for her turn. When you marry, you are open to the gift of life and bring children into the world.

 

[disgtgyal]

Poohbear What i'm saying is, why is sam a bad guy, is it because he decided not to be with the woman who isn't giving it up, but a guy who as you said is courting different women and decides not to settle with you, for lets say because you're too skinny, would he be a "bad guy," i.e. is the reason that sam is not choosing you, what makes him deplorable in your eyes

 

[disgtgyal]

Guitarhero yes the lord does tell who is your husband (he told me, and my bf's parents) and as in all things we are to obey Him, regardless of whether you think that person is a good match for you or not, God knows what's best for you and when it comes to something that's a lifetime commitment i think its folly to not take the backseat to God, you can't be outside the will of God and still want him to bless your marriage, because it will ultimately lead to divorce.

 

[Guitarhero]

@Guitarhero yes the lord does tell who is your husband (he told me, and my bf's parents) and as in all things we are to obey Him, regardless of whether you think that person is a good match for you or not, God knows what's best for you and when it comes to something that's a lifetime commitment i think its folly to not take the backseat to God, you can't be outside the will of God and still want him to bless your marriage, because it will ultimately lead to divorce.

That's you, not me. G-d is not going to command me to marry anybody. I have never heard of somebody preaching that G-d commands you to marry somebody. He can show you that he would be His choice...but G-d doesn't hold you by the ear lobe and drag you down the aisle to the altar, threatening to kill you unless you don't marry him. Now a shotgun marriage, that's a different story and of human hands. LOL.

 

[disgtgyal]

I didn't say command and said tells you. There are many marriages i know of that are ordained by God. And if God tells you to marry someone and u chose not to, you are disobeying Him, so how is that any different than sam disobeying God in regards to pre- marital sex, disobedience is a sin, just as fornication.

 

[Guitarhero]

@Guitarhero yes the lord does tell who is your husband (he told me, and my bf's parents) and as in all things we are to obey Him, regardless of whether you think that person is a good match for you or not, God knows what's best for you and when it comes to something that's a lifetime commitment i think its folly to not take the backseat to God, you can't be outside the will of God and still want him to bless your marriage, because it will ultimately lead to divorce.

This led me to feel you think that G-d commands someone to marry a certain revealed person. Sorry, ain't happening with me. BTW, I'm divorced...why? Because I wanted to be. And I'm so happy! Will remarry too, cuz that's what I will do and that's what I want. And He told me to. Go figure.

Well I believe it's the man's job to find a wife the bible says he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, its his job to seek me out and propose to me, and it is my job to seek the lord whether he is the one for me.

If he would be the one at the moment, then you have the choice to either marry him or to NOT marry him. Not marrying him is not going to take you out of the will of G-d. In fact, lots of people do not follow through with things because they are truly finding the path they were meant to find. Might sound good, but they go another route and find their true peace. Moses was a different story in leading Israel out of Egypt. G-d gives us a choice. Even Moses had a choice. His choice was to follow G-d in that endeavor...he was meant to and that was his destiny. But he had a choice.

When you marry, you have to give full consent. How is that possible unless you...give full consent? That also means G-d. He's giving you the choice. Well, in my church, it's that way. I don't understand. Are there people here other than OP who think G-d commands you to marry and if you don't, you're out of His will? Whatever happened to free will?

I didn't say command and said tells you. There are many marriages i know of that are ordained by God. And if God tells you to marry someone and u chose not to, you are disobeying Him, so how is that any different than sam disobeying God in regards to pre- marital sex, disobedience is a sin, just as fornication.

What's the difference? At this point, screw Sam. He's a shmuck and I don't give a rat's behind about him and his ilk. But this thing about G-d revealing a partner He would find suitable versus Him telling you, basically commanding you to marry someone is foreign to me...and thank G-d for it. I am not obligated to marry anybody. Marriage is a choice. So is the priesthood. So is parenthood (to enter into marriage). G-d has preferences but He has given us free will. Op, can I ask you if you heard from G-d or if people around you told you they heard from G-d, including your potential spouse?

 

[Poohbear]

disgtgyal - Are you aware that Steven James Dixon (the guy you mentioned in your original post) is a real person? Here's a book he wrote:

Dixon says. “The book is about men because the emotional stability of the ‘man’ is the key element to having a successful relationship. If we get the men right, the women will fall in line.” This book will definitively answer the following concerns for women: 1. Why your boyfriend won’t make you his wife. 2. Why you might not want your boyfriend to be your husband. 3. Why you are single while she is married. 4. How to get a man and keep a husband. 5. How to be the best wife that you can be. This book will definitively answer the following concerns for men: 1. Why you are not ready to get married. 2. Why your homeboy is cheating on his wife. 3. How you can have a happy marriage. 4. What is expected of you as a husband. 5. How to be emotional and still maintain your manhood. “My experience and research have produced a body of knowledge about relationships. This body of knowledge has helped many men and women discover truths about their own relationships and lives,” explains Dixon.

Seems like the same ol' message of Steve Harvey and all these other men who still try to put blame back on the woman for not being patient enough or good enough or whatnot. So are you recommending that women are suppose to wait around til the man is done healing by "ho-ing" around?

 

[Poohbear]

Steven James Dixon is considered the Relationship Beast

Here's a post he made which I feel like still gives men the upper hand in whatever they do and puts the woman down. I do agree that men change when they want to and want to be great. I just don't like how women are always made to look like the dumb ones in these situations:

I was at the church-house and as usual, Pastor was GOING INNNNNNNNNNNNN! My Pastor said something that blew my mind. He said that, “It’s more of a thrill for women to chase men than it is for men to chase women.” I pondered on that for a second. My Pastor is 100% correct. I think about all of the women who contact me every day about their relationship or marriage. Honestly, most of the time I want to say to them, “Why are you putting up with that mess!”

In my head I am thinking. . .

It is a wrap on your relationship or marriage.

In my heart I am feeling. . .

Compassion for your feelings. Empathy. Everyone deserves happiness and to be loved.
In my memory. . .

I remember that men can change. Men can grow and evolve. Men can be great husbands and fathers. But your man has to want to be a great husband or father. You can’t want it for him. A woman’s encouragement of a man to be greater means almost nothing if that man does not want to or think that he can be great. I wanted to be great. I am great.
The Thrill of The Chase in men for women is reasonable. Let me explain. You have a man who’s eyes are impressed by the figure of a woman. Men are visual. This woman becomes his conquest. Depending on the characteristics of that man, (not quality, characteristics) that man can measure and put a percentage on his chances of completing his conquest. When I was single, 9 out of 10 women in the building any given night would be mine if I so chose. I was handsome, I had a great smile, fit, I had the gift of gab, advanced intellect, great job, made six figures, home owner and my car did not have a top. My thrill is 90% achievable. It’s not really a chase, she is standing right there waiting for me to approach her.

In contrast, The Thrill of The Chase in women for men is unreasonable. The two “Chases” are different. Men chase women that they do not have a relationship with. It is new. It is unknown. The woman that is being chased could also be curious about the man chasing her. The male chase has the potential to lead to a relationship or better yet a sexcapade. (Sexcapade = Free sex. No work, no commitment, no chance at a fullfiling relationship.) The woman is not chasing a new man or a new relationship. Too often, the woman is chasing a proven to be bad man or a proven to be failed relationship. Man’s Chase has potential. Woman’s Chase lacks potential (the relationship has already failed once if not twice or thrice). The Thrill of The Chase in women actually is a chase. He is leaving, you want him to stay. He is cheating, you want him to stop. He doesn’t want you, YOU . . . CAN’T . . . STOP . . . WANTING . . . HIM.

To Be Clear:

Man is chasing someone new. New has potential.

Woman is chasing someone old. Old has already shown that he lacks potential.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast although we’ve never been on date we have had sex.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast we got into an argument and he beat the crap out of me.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man seems to be content in collecting unemployment, hanging with the boys and smoking weed.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man is always on Facebook, Twitter, and Skype having conversations with other females.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I’ve been the other woman through TWO of his marriages.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man moved back into his mama’s house. He is back smoking weed and playing video games all day. I actually caught him with another woman and left him but I always start to feel sorry for him and take him back.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast throughout our entire relationship he has never been capable of being faithful. Last year he started an affair and they have been intimate ever since. He has told me on several occasions that he will end the affair but he never has. So I moved out but I still sleep with him from time to time.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I am dating a married man who is possessive of me. Why doesn’t he want me to date anyone else? (Is it just me or is this funny? For some reason, this is funny to me.)

Dear RelationshipBeast this married man comes over to have sex with me once or twice a week.

Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I have been dealing with a man for the last 12 years who has also has been in a relationship with another woman for about 17 years.

The Thrill Is Gone
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast when I met my Husband he was married. He cheated on his wife with me. Now, he is cheating on me with another woman.

I have a lot to teach men about relationships and marriage. Remember my principle is, “All relationships and marriages are either successful or they fail based solely on the leadership of men.” I am going to teach men how to be leaders in their marriages, families and communities. I am working on them. But women y’all have got to help me! Y’all have got to stop chasing the thrill of having ANY OLD MALE, not man, ANY OLD MALE in your life. Stop worrying about men chasing women and start worrying about women chasing men. If it is not you, it is your sister, it is your mother, it is your auntie or it is your friend that is on a sexcapade. STOP CHASING MEN! The thrill is not worth the pain. You cannot catch us. We will stiff arm you. I am the RelationshipBeast.

 

[Shimmie]

Food is expensive, so I don't cook....

...he does.

I know a lot of Christian ladies who bend over backwards showing off their cooking and cleaning and creativiity skills, just to compensate for not having sex in a relationship. It gets tired; they get older and more tired and they end up with nothing.

The wonderful key is simply being with someone that you just get along with so well, that sex doesn't matter. Someone that you are 'free' to be with as yourself and not have to put on airs and trying to go down a list of xyz, just to hold on to him. It is such a waste of time and so unnecessary.

Of course, as a woman, it's only natural to fix your hair, nails, and to do all of those 'girly girl' things that women do, that's the fun part of being a woman, which is to be a girly girl :reddancer:

But men love a woman who is comfortable with herself and who is not exhausting herself just to get him, keep him or lose who she is. He loses respect for her or fears being with her because she appears 'desperate'. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and they either 'run' or take advantage of her. Men know that any human being is not up to all of that and that she will soon 'crash' from an overload of 'doing' and 'being' outside of one's normal capacity.

The Key: A man feels most comfortable with a woman who is comfortable with who she is and when she is around him. This is what makes him 'stay'. He's at home with a woman who respects her human limitations and is able to enjoy being with him as herself and nothing less. He is able to see his future with her and no one else. And indeed this is the kind of man God will send into a woman's life.

No woman has to prove her worth to any man. When she finds herself doing this, she is with a counterfeit, not the man God has placed into her life.

Neither Ruth nor Esther had to do this... more than ever, now during this time, neither should any daughter of God such are each of you. God still betroths His daughters.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

The article is funny it reminds me of the black church..we women lay it all out for this joker who is rare bc he is in the church black and not gay..If we keep our all expense paid grand prize within our rolling hills closed these jokers would have to step up..and do what is right but I know it would mean being alone longer til a virtuous man comes along but its worth it.I would never sell myself short ever again just to show a dude I can cook or clean or bounce a dang baby..dude if thats all that impresses you,your wack and I don't want you..I want the truly deeply rooted brother who loves Jesus more than he does air and would never disrespect any of Gods precious queens..but I may be alone on this matter..Im feeling way to deeply rooted in God and poetically speaking

 

[Shimmie]

The article is funny it reminds me of the black church..we women lay it all out for this joker who is rare bc he is in the church black and not gay..

If we keep our all expense paid grand prize within our rolling hills closed these jokers would have to step up..

and do what is right but I know it would mean being alone longer til a virtuous man comes along but its worth it.

I would never sell myself short ever again just to show a dude I can cook or clean or bounce a dang baby..dude if thats all that impresses you,your wack and I don't want you..I want the truly deeply rooted brother who loves Jesus more than he does air and would never disrespect any of Gods precious queens..but I may be alone on this matter..Im feeling way to deeply rooted in God and poetically speaking

@the bolded....

Kick the sam's to the curb; they do not get to have the gift of a woman's virtue.

 

[disgtgyal]

Guitarhero yes you are going outside the will of God if he commands you to marry someone and you choose not to, you're now acting in your will and not His. God gives us free will and what that means is that you have the choice to follow Him or not, He doesn't make you do anything, but when you step outside of His will you have to deal with consequences regardless of how good you choice may seem, its the wrong one, following Christ doesn't mean following Him when you want to...

Poohbear yes i know he's a real person lol I put sam in quotes because i don't know if sam is an actual person. I don't believe in putting all the blame on the women, but as GoddessMaker said if women collectively had higher standards then there would be nothing for the sams to turn to and in that respect we are partly to blame...

As i said if a man wants to go he will go whether you give him sex or not, cater to him or not. Yes you should show your worth, and doing so doesn't make you counterfeit, you're simply showing who you are and that dictates how you'll be treated and what value he places on you, and if you disagree with that value you can walk. I don't care if i'm the only one, but there is no way i'm marrying a man without God saying he is your husband because not only is it a lifetime committment but i'm joining my soul with that person and i need to know its the right person and despite what I may feel towards that man only God knows that, and to be honest i am quite shocked that that's a foreign concept to many of you ladies because its so common where I am, and in my church. There's a woman in my church who met a really good guy, he's on fire for God, 35+ year old virgin, great job, very financially secure and has a phD and they get along really well, they share common goals desires and outlook on life and when they both sort the lord about each other they both heard from God that's not your spouse and they both moved on regardless of how they feel for each other they chose to obey God and not go further with their relationship...

 

[Guitarhero]

OP, G-d will never command me to marry someone. That is not biblical. Marriage is a choice and a gift and one can enter into it if one so desires. He has never commanded me to marry someone and I do not believe He ever will. Well, all I can say is that I'm in G-d's will for my life and whatever it is that He wants you to do, then do so and with thanksgiving...as we all should. We simply part at that point.

 

[aribell]

So, the author's perspective wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. His idea that you have to "show your woman" up front is flawed not because we shouldn't display our character, but because it is saying, "You need to be in a hurry to impress him so he doesn't go and have sex with someone who's willing." C'mon now, that's hardly a worthwhile perspective to embrace.

Men learn about a woman over time. If he is not willing to invest time and energy into learning more about her, then he really isn't deeply interested in her. If his attitude is that he needs to know now everything that could possibly make him want to stay, that says that he's really just in it for what he can get and doesn't have the patience to stick it out for the long haul.

It seems that if a man is seriously and properly pursuing a woman, he will discover her strengths and weaknesses as things unfold. But if he's sitting back like an American Idol judge saying "You got 30 seconds--Wow me," he won't be worth keeping around.

 

[brg240]

Guitarhero yes the lord does tell who is your husband (he told me, and my bf's parents) and as in all things we are to obey Him, regardless of whether you think that person is a good match for you or not, God knows what's best for you and when it comes to something that's a lifetime commitment i think its folly to not take the backseat to God, you can't be outside the will of God and still want him to bless your marriage, because it will ultimately lead to divorce.

disgtgyal I know some people don't believe this and i don't think it happens for everyone but God told my mom she was going to marry my dad. She didn't even know him at the time. I think that must be nice. /ot

 

[Laela]

^^^ I believe in messianic visions and that God could guide someone to marry someone in particular, for a reason. I've heard stories like these, and I agree it's a rare occurrence. Still, God equips us with enough of a value system or guidance to make a decision on whom to marry and gives us that choice. Ruth 'positioned' herself to be found. Boaz had his eye on Ruth, but was an honorable man. He wasn't aware of her interest until she made an effort at the guidance of her MIL, making a way for the marriage to take place. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, just like with a Covenant with God. If more folks would take marriage as seriously as Jews do...whew. Amein...

 

[LucieLoo12]

Ok, Sam is carnal...(minding the things of the flesh)....He said he needs to "see it upfront", so obviously He doesnt pray or acknowledge God about choices he makes. He goes by what he sees or feels...ummmm i think I would pass on Sam. and if Sam is sleeping around like that, he obviously isnt Chrisitian, which means, I wouldnt be unequally yoked anyway. AND, im not going to prove you im a good wife but cooking you a meal...They are some christian women, who may not be the best cook, but does that mean they wont be a good wife because they r not the best cooks. I want a man that would admire my inner qualities more..IMO

 

[JinaRicci]

Yes there are Sams in the church but they don't cause a blip on my radar and I don't do it for them either. If we think that all men are Sams then that's all we'll ever see and ever get. I don't see how acting like Martha Stewart is going to keep Sam b/c you're still not meeting what Sam said that he needs.

In any event, Sam's struggle with celibacy (if he is really trying to overcome this) is between him and God. The committment to keep your mind & body pure is a committment to God. It doesn't have anything to do with me or other women in the church. There will always be a woman around somewhere willing to have sex and it is up to Sam with the help of God to overcome this while he is single because he will be tested even more so once he has committed to one woman in marriage.