Celibacy

[Guitarhero]

^^^ I believe in messianic visions and that God could guide someone to marry someone in particular, for a reason. I've heard stories like these, and I agree it's a rare occurrence. Still, God equips us with enough of a value system or guidance to make a decision on whom to marry and gives us that choice. Ruth 'positioned' herself to be found. Boaz had his eye on Ruth, but was an honorable man. He wasn't aware of her interest until she made an effort at the guidance of her MIL, making a way for the marriage to take place. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, just like with a Covenant with God. If more folks would take marriage as seriously as Jews do...whew. Amein...

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The reality is that divorce is just as common in the Jewish community. Nobody is immune.

 

[Poohbear]

disgtgyal I know some people don't believe this and i don't think it happens for everyone but God told my mom she was going to marry my dad. She didn't even know him at the time. I think that must be nice. /ot

brg240 - Did your mother elaborate on this? If so, how did she know for a fact that God told her she was going to marry your father without even knowing at the time? How did God come to her? Did she hear an audible voice? Please do tell. I really would like to know.

 

[disgtgyal]

Poohbear i'm not brg240, but I can answer your question as well for my bf's parents God told several ppl in their church that the Lord said you are to marry, so she said one day she got mad and went to God and said how come You told everyone and You didn't tell me, then she said she heard in her spirit that's the husband I chose for you and you are to marry him, so again being upset she said that black man who nuh been to school (she's Jamaican, and they have this thing about being black/ dark means you're ugly) so then she again heard the Lord said what I join together let no man put assunder. They just celibrated their 37 year anniversary.

My personal account is I dated a guy in HS and she broke up because we were going to different colleges, and while I was away at college I drew very close to God and I was seeking Him on every area of my life and He was speaking to me constantly and one say He said (his name) is your husband, and I said what?! we not even together and I liked someone else but w/e a year later we became close again and they started dating, four years we got confirmation from two prophets and someone in our church all on different occasions; so I definitely believe in God choosing your partner. If you find a mate for yourself and you get married then you're going to have to keep your mate and your marriage, but when God gives you a mate and joins you together, He will keep you.

 

[Poohbear]

Poohbear i'm not brg240, but I can answer your question as well for my bf's parents God told several ppl in their church that the Lord said you are to marry, so she said one day she got mad and went to God and said how come You told everyone and You didn't tell me, then she said she heard in her spirit that's the husband I chose for you and you are to marry him, so again being upset she said that black man who nuh been to school (she's Jamaican, and they have this thing about being black/ dark means you're ugly) so then she again heard the Lord said what I join together let no man put assunder. They just celibrated their 37 year anniversary.

My personal account is I dated a guy in HS and she broke up because we were going to different colleges, and while I was away at college I drew very close to God and I was seeking Him on every area of my life and He was speaking to me constantly and one say He said (his name) is your husband, and I said what?! we not even together and I liked someone else but w/e a year later we became close again and they started dating, four years we got confirmation from two prophets and someone in our church all on different occasions; so I definitely believe in God choosing your partner. If you find a mate for yourself and you get married then you're going to have to keep your mate and your marriage, but when God gives you a mate and joins you together, He will keep you.

disgtgyal

Are you talking about yourself or someone else? The bolded words threw me off a bit. I guess you mean "we" instead of "she" and "we" instead of "they", is that correct?

And was the voice from God audible (like you heard an actual sound) or in your mind? How do you know that what other people said was God saying it?

For example - I've had a few people tell me that my boyfriend is going to be my husband or they'll talk about inviting them to our wedding, but I don't take it seriously. Some of his friends will call me Ms. *His Last Name*. I just take it as those people see us as a good couple together. How would I know if these instances are from God or not?

 

[disgtgyal]

@ poohbear yes your corrections are correct lol, sorry I was in a rush. As for my bf's parents, his mom heard an audible voice. I on the other just heard it in my spirit, idk its hard to explain the voice of God or when you know its Him speaking. As for other people in the church, well the prophet and prophetess are of God and I've seen other things they've said about others as well as myself come to pass, plus at that point God had already told me, and I never told anyone so for me it was confirmation..

 

[Guitarhero]

^^^So it was the case with you and a very few others on this list but is not the case for everyone. I'm glad this was clarified.

 

[Shimmie]

@ poohbear yes your corrections are correct lol, sorry I was in a rush. As for my bf's parents, his mom heard an audible voice. I on the other just heard it in my spirit, idk its hard to explain the voice of God or when you know its Him speaking.

As for other people in the church, well the prophet and prophetess are of God and I've seen other things they've said about others as well as myself come to pass, plus at that point God had already told me, and I never told anyone so for me it was confirmation..

@ the bolded. I'm glad you said this. It is essential awareness.

Prophecy should always be a confirmation of what God has spoken to 'one' prior, and (either/or) by what He has spoken in His Word.

God has to direct / 'agree' with what a prophet (or prophetess) is speaking into a person's life. As you follow the prophet's in the Bible, God ALWAYS told them what to speak, prior, and to whom. The same principle applies today.

 

[disgtgyal]

Guitarhero no it's not the case for everyone but I'm glad it's the case for me because who am I to choose my life's mate only God can do that and because He chose for me I know my marriage will be solid and He will sustain us and I can rest assured it will be forever. IMHO I think such a decision should only be God's, He is the only one who knows an individual can thus can determine who us right for that person. Hey to each their own...

Shimmie Yes I know what a prophet or prophetess says must be confirmed and for me I've received many confirmations lol.

 

[Guitarhero]

Guitarhero no it's not the case for everyone but I'm glad it's the case for me because who am I to choose my life's mate only God can do that and because He chose for me I know my marriage will be solid and He will sustain us and I can rest assured it will be forever. IMHO I think such a decision should only be God's, He is the only one who knows an individual can thus can determine who us right for that person. Hey to each their own...

.

With respect, those are two separate situations we're talking about. You had an individual prophesy. Most devout christians seek G-d's face in the matter of marriage but do not receive an "iron clad" prophesy. What you implied was that a person is outside G-d's will for not acting upon a prophesy. That could be the case. However, not all people receive prophesies as to who their mate is. Not all people receive prophesies as to what their vocation in life is going to be either. And it could be that He has a specific plan for your couplehood in the world with the events throughout that couplehood, for better or worse, as being the completion of His will. Perfection is not the guarantee. But G-d's will is the guarantee. To each his own, surely...and to mine, I seek G-d's face. But I do not believe He will command me to marry someone as He has supposedly commanded you because marriage in my church is a freely offered gift and one enters in with full will or it is invalid. Vows are never forced, not even by G-d. He leads us all differently.

 

[aribell]

I believe that more Christians could experience the Lord's leading in supernatural ways if they were willing to believe that He'd give it and if they'd believe the word they were given. I don't think we can seek "words" from the Lord to avoid having to make tough decisions. But I do think there's definitely more room for His active leading than is generally experienced.

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[Laela]

Interesting that you say that.... willing vessels make Godly decisions purely on the basis of asking God for direction before making a move. I had receive this very Word on Sunday. Bible is full of lessons on hearing from God and choosing not to obey Him. Jonah. Amein.

I believe that more Christians could experience the Lord's leading in supernatural ways if they were willing to believe that He'd give it and if they'd believe the word they were given. I don't think we can seek "words" from the Lord to avoid having to make tough decisions. But I do think there's definitely more room for His active leading than is generally experienced.

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[Shimmie]

[Shimmie Yes I know what a prophet or prophetess says must be confirmed and for me I've received many confirmations lol.

That's why I like your post.

For me, your post was 'confirmation.'

 

[disgtgyal]

Guitarhero I do believe if God gives you a prophesy which says you are to do xyz and you choose not to, which your free will enables you to do, then yes you are outside the will of God. Free will is a gift from God and you can choose to obey Him or not. Yes I believe God has a specific purpose for our couplehood, but I also believe that is the case for whomever He joins together while we enjoy many benefits of being married ultimately it's for the glory of God because as children of God we are not our own. I am well aware that marriage isn't easy especially one that's ordained by God because you will face opposition from the enemy but I must disagree with you when you said it won't be perfect, because to me perfection means you're lacking in nothing and I believe my marriage will be lacking in nothing as long as we walk in His will. You said in an earlier post that you've never heard God forcing anyone down the isle, well as far as I know God doesn't force anyone to obey Him. I do agree with you that marriage is to be entered into of your own free will or it's void whether it's ordained or not, which is why we are to accept in our hearts whom He chose for us before the vows are exchanged. I hope I haven't offended you or come off judgmental because that isn't my intent.

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[Guitarhero]

I'm not offended at all.

 

[Sharpened]

After reading this thread, the story of Hosea and Gomer struck me. Obedience is rarely convenient, pretty, logical (to the human mind), easy, etc. and what that prophet went through with his wife is a great example of it.

 

[aribell]

I was listening to Randy Carlson's radio program earlier today. It was "marriage monday" and as the callers talked about their best marriage memories, I was very much touched by the stories of genuine Christ-like, sacrificial love--the type of love that one only has if Christ is abiding deeply within you. And I saw more clearly how easy it is to fret about finding "someone" but miss the fact that you want more than simply someone--even a "good" someone--you want a Christ-like someone. His love flowing through a spouse is worth waiting for--it's worth passing up the men with lukewarm hearts toward God and selfish hearts toward you--even if their attitude is culturally accepted. I think that if a woman can get to the place where she is looking to Jesus as the source of all love and good that she could ever want, then she will naturally filter out all the men who are not operating in the flow of His Spirit.

 

[disgtgyal]

After reading this thread, the story of Hosea and Gomer struck me. Obedience is rarely convenient, pretty, logical (to the human mind), easy, etc. and what that prophet went through with his wife is a great example of it.

SO true, I wonder how many of us women would obey God if He told us to marry a man, whom you saw as less than desirable.
nicola.kirwan I agree, women definitely need to look to Jesus and she will truly know her worth and she will be a lot less likely to compromise... Also, being around and listening to Christian couples (not your lukewarm Christians, but those who are truly dedicated and surrendered to Him) especially ones that have been married for many years, is truly a blessing. There's something different about their love for each other, it transcends lust and convenience, security and stability, its indescribable, and when you're blessed enough to be around that kind of love it inspires you to wait for, if you haven't already met your God- given mate.

 

[Chrissmiss]

Sam is not the type of man any Christian woman should want... so the article kinda threw me for a loop. A Christian woman should not feel like she is loosing points with a man because she is not putting out... that is hogwash. If you have submitted your life to Christ and your are confident in who He has made you (personality, likes/dislikes, apperance) then you will have no trouble finding a good man of God when the time comes. If God is first in your life then you will be an excellent help meet to your future husband. And and as far as cooking, cleanind, yada yada... we all should know how to do these things (male and female), and should be willing to use these skills to serve and love on others with. Being a good wife is not about cooking and cleaning... its about loving, supporting, encouraging, correcting, etc.

 

[lettieg27]

I am not trying to offend anyone but I think alot of us as women have the wrong idea about this article. Disregarding that Sam is not the man you want to marry, you have to think how will I act when I do met the man I want to marry. Women we have to remember that men are not willing to commit to a women who they do not think will make a good wife, meaning that you have to show him what you would be like as a wife. I think feminism has really made it hard for us as women to understand our role in a marriage, cooking and cleaning for your man are ways to so that you appreciate him and that you will take care of him not old-fashioned ideas of oppression. Just having good conversation is not going to get you a husband. Im not saying that you should be a slave to realize that if you want your man to do traditional things for you that you must be willing to do traditional things for him.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

As the old saying goes; 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free'?

He still doesn't need to marry me if I can cook for him, wash his clothes, massage his ego etc., more than likely he'll marry the girl that he's getting some on the side with...

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I once heard a pastor say he saw a woman that he knew was to be his wife, she lived in a different settlement than he did, he told her of his intentions and she laughed him off...He told her parents and five years later they were married ...

I firmly believe that a virtuous woman does not need to put herself 'out there' in anyway...she is 'sought' after and does not need to compromise her position with God...

A man of God a man a man of valor knows this he prays, seeks,admires, courts and then marries her...

Any pastor that preaches that you need to 'test' the waters before you get married is contrary to the will of God...

 

[disgtgyal]

I am not trying to offend anyone but I think alot of us as women have the wrong idea about this article. Disregarding that Sam is not the man you want to marry, you have to think how will I act when I do met the man I want to marry. Women we have to remember that men are not willing to commit to a women who they do not think will make a good wife, meaning that you have to show him what you would be like as a wife. I think feminism has really made it hard for us as women to understand our role in a marriage, cooking and cleaning for your man are ways to so that you appreciate him and that you will take care of him not old-fashioned ideas of oppression. Just having good conversation is not going to get you a husband. Im not saying that you should be a slave to realize that if you want your man to do traditional things for you that you must be willing to do traditional things for him.

Could not have said it better, finally someone gets it, particularly the bolded part

 

[lilanie]

I think the article makes some interesting points, and even people who have different perspectives can teach us things.

With that said, "Sam" and his cohorts will never compel me to be traditional in the sense of showing him I can properly wash whites/lights/darks or whip up a four course meal. Because the man I do all that for will have had to made the sacrifice (if that's what he decides to call it when annoyed with me) of marrying me. Period.

Just because a man has all the signs of potentially being the best mate ever does not mean should be treated as such.

Because as I am learning, even in my mid-30's; not everybody deserves everything from *you*