Christian Men and Celibacy

[Glib Gurl]

Hey Everyone

I am in need of a bit of encouragement. Even though I know lots of men who go to church, I know (or know of) very few who really seem to be living for God. And, mostly, I mean who practice celibacy. I mean, even my own brother who is a decent man with an education who goes to church gets his swerve on without a second thought.

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged because it seems that men are only after one thing. And, let's be real, I'm tempted, too. That's why it's important to me to find someone who takes God seriously and really does want to keep their bodies as living sacrifices until they are married.

Married ladies? Others in committed relationships -- please give me some hope and inspiration!

Single GG

 

[Shimmie]

Hey Everyone

I am in need of a bit of encouragement. Even though I know lots of men who go to church, I know (or know of) very few who really seem to be living for God. And, mostly, I mean who practice celibacy. I mean, even my own brother who is a decent man with an education who goes to church gets his swerve on without a second thought.

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged because it seems that men are only after one thing. And, let's be real, I'm tempted, too. That's why it's important to me to find someone who takes God seriously and really does want to keep their bodies as living sacrifices until they are married.

Married ladies? Others in committed relationships -- please give me some hope and inspiration!

Single GG

Baby, you be the one. You...be the one who sets and keeps the standard; don't be discouraged by what others do and don't do. It simply won't make things easier for you. I've been celibate for 25 years and not because I'm so holy. It happen because I 'fell' in love with Jesus and I gave my all to Him. When a woman falls in love, that's what she does, she gives her all to whoever 'he' is.

In many ways, I don't want talk about this issue. For it looks as if I'm patting myself on the back when in reality, I have no one to thank but God Himself for preserving me...for that 'one.'

The men you see are only a few in comparison to those who are living true for God. I know men who do not 'yield' unto temptation. They just don't. And they will always love God and one of them will come forth and love you.

The word says putting those things which are behind....press forward to the mark which is set before us. Stop looking at the men who are 'out there'. Keep your focus on Jesus and write about the man each day, who is just like him. Write about and 'to' your future husband. A man of God who waited just for you.

And when he comes, share with him all that you wrote, for you see, it will be your focus and writings about him that 'kept' him, until he could be with you. He'll recognize the prayers...he'll recognize you.

As long as you stay focused on what you now see, you'll never be free the way God wants you to be. Ignore them that make you sad.

Someone better than I...has the answer and will write...

((( Hugs )))

 

[Glib Gurl]

Aw, thanks Shimmie.

(((hugs back)))

 

[cocoberry10]

Hey Everyone

I am in need of a bit of encouragement. Even though I know lots of men who go to church, I know (or know of) very few who really seem to be living for God. And, mostly, I mean who practice celibacy. I mean, even my own brother who is a decent man with an education who goes to church gets his swerve on without a second thought.

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged because it seems that men are only after one thing. And, let's be real, I'm tempted, too. That's why it's important to me to find someone who takes God seriously and really does want to keep their bodies as living sacrifices until they are married.

Married ladies? Others in committed relationships -- please give me some hope and inspiration!

Single GG

I feel very similarly to how you do, but I agree with what Shimmie said.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard, and there's no visible "reward," but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, if for no other reason, than b/c it's what we are charged with.

I don't judge those that engage in sex, b/c I know it's hard not to, especially when you love someone. But I try to stay and take it one day at a time and know that God will always be with me!

And I admit, it's getting harder, b/c I'm looking at the friends that are getting married, and they aren't the ones who are preserving themselves. And I don't say this with any anger, it's just what I see. But again, I know that if and when the time is right, things will happen!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Dang, so we don't know of any celibate men?

 

[CurliDiva]

There was a news special about the new trend of Purity Balls - where fathers take their pre-teen and teenage daughters to a formal dance where they pledge to remain "pure" until marriage.

Great concepts - installing values and morals at a young age, build the father-daughter relationships ... but my only concern was what about the BOYS????

The host went on to say that nearly 80% of these girls end up having sex before marriage! Why aren't we holding young men to the same moral standards?

I think there is still a DOUBLE standard - I've even heard a sermon directed at MEN about being CHASTE - this topic is only directed at women.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I saw that, CurliDiva, and I agree. If folks focused even half of the attention on boys as they did on girls, that would help solve a lot of the problem! But, as long as they keep telling the girls to be chaste and then saying that "boys will be boys," they're keeping the cat-and-mouse dynamic going that often makes underage sex enticing in the first place!

 

[StrawberryQueen]

*whatever*

 

[live2bgr8]

I really and truly think that only the the fear of God can keep a man (or woman) celibate/faithful. I think it goes back to reading the word (Bible) and believing that it is a holy text.

 

[crlsweetie912]

Great thread. There is definitely a double standard, especially in the church. But you are right Shimmie, I can't worry about what others are doing or not doing. I have to be accountable for myself. But I agree that there should be equal emphasis on abstinence for males as well as females.

 

[Shimmie]

Great thread. There is definitely a double standard, especially in the church. But you are right Shimmie, I can't worry about what others are doing or not doing. I have to be accountable for myself. But I agree that there should be equal emphasis on abstinence for males as well as females.

I hear you Pretty Darlin. See my thread "In Fairness to Men".

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=120189

Some of these women aren't listening....

Yet, I 'hear' you. And I hear our sweet and precious men too. I just want to believe in our men. I'm so tired of seeing them dragged down to the ground. We get what we look for...'ask, seek, knock and the door shall be opened (the words of JESUS, before someone gives credence to the universe). If I ask God for a good man, then I shall find him and I will knock hell out my way, for they can't have him.

I mean afterall, it's being tossed at them like fish to a dolphin. Check out the ad banner on the forum. There's a woman lying in' wait'... It appears to be some kind of intimacy hook up site. I mean, Dear Lord, why not just call it a brothal with the site creater/owner either a madame or a pimp.

Hugs and Blessings to you and the boys... ((( Hugs )))

 

[kbragg]

If I may offer an alternative perspective, it's very easy to get caught up in the "spirit" of this discussion and I definately did. I confronted my hubby and asked him, "Why do men seem to get awy with everything and why does 'the church' put all the focus on women???" Well he had some good points.

First point, what church? The Baptist church? Catholic? Pentacostal? ALL churches? How many churches have you attended where this is the case? There are billions of men in the world and I venture to say that each of us have probably only encountered a few hundred. We see the media portrayals and add to that our personal experience and make a blanket judgement of a whole gender, a whole faith based on that. Is that not the same as what whites did to blacks? Or vice versa? How can we lump all men and all churches into a blanket judgement like that? Can anyone even say the "vast majority?" How do we know that? My Pastor for example talks to the MEN more than the women about sexuality. So is our church not "part of" the church? Are we an exception? Where is the documented studies, the scientific proof that this is the case? Sisters this needs to stop. The judging needs to stop. The Holy Spirit really convicted me of this.We meed to STOP juging and lumping everyone into our perception. Remember what ever measure that YOU judge with, you'll be met with the same.

I didn't wait until I was married (far from it), my hubby did. Not because anyone preached at him, but because that's what the spirit laid on him. I was his first (we did put the cart before the horse and surely it was my idea lol, but he did marry me! So although 'technically' since we did do the deed before we were married, he didn't wait, but since we did get married and I was the only one he was with, he did wait...make sense at all? He wasn't a ho like I was).

So anyway, my point is, you can't accuse the church or judge the curc or the men based on such a small cross section of people. If it's a particular Pastor, a particular man, then take it up with him, but don't you dare make a blanket judgement. That's not of God at all. Think about it. How would you feel if someone said all black women wear weaves and can't grow hair? Or black women don't make good wives because they have ad attitudes? By the same measure we have judge them men and the church, we could not take offense to either of those statements. While sure some of our sisters do have bad attitudes, do you want to be classified or lumped in to that? We're all trying to grow our hair right? Doyou want everyone to assume you got a weave cause "we can't grow hair?" I'm telling you, it's that same spirit that accuses the church and all men. And you all KNOW who the accuser of the bretheren is right? satan. So don't give in to that spirit. You need to look the devil straight in the face, tell him to shut up and go back to hell wwhere he belongs and that he will not pervert your mind with judgemental attitudes because as a follower of Christ, that is not what you're called to do.

Just pray about it.

 

[charmingt]

Hi, Glib Girl, I have read the story of A C Green a prominent black basketball player who stayed a virgin until he married his bride Veronique. He said is his autobiography that is was definitely not easy. He took ribbing and accusations but because of his committment to God and being a born again Christian he knew it was worth it. So be encouraged!

 

[Glib Gurl]

I appreciate this discussion, ladies -- thanks for all the feedback. Kbragg, even though I don't know neither one of y'all, I'm really proud of your husband.