Christian Wives: Were you holy when you first got married...

[mango387]

or did you and your spouse grow together in holiness?

By holy, I mean living an overall clean and God-fearing/loving life not ankle skirts, "Praise the Lord" daily greetings, etc.

 

[Baggettcindy]

Bumping for poster.

 

[Choclatcotton]

What do you mean by holy???

 

[Sweet C]

Im a little confused as well to what you mean by holy. Could you elaborate a little more?

 

[Poohbear]

I'm thinking one of the main things she may mean by holy is refraining from sexual activity before marriage. Is that right mango387?

 

[mango387]

I'm sorry ladies. My computer was stolen, so I have had limited access to the Internet. Anyway, sexual activity did not cross my mind when I created this thread. I was talking about not cursing, drinking/smoking excessively, gossiping, being mean, clubbing 24/7, listening to/looking at trash, etc. Sexual activity can be included, but this was not supposed to be one of those threads. Those threads quickly disintegrate into something else...

Why am I asking?

Sometimes, I feel like maybe I am being a hypocrite for wanting to meet someone who really wants to follow God/is saved when I still have one or two of the aforementioned habits. I'm saved BTW, but I am certain that if someone saw me angry they might question that. Needless to say, I want that part of me to change...In other words, did you have spiritual life together before you became a wife?

 

[crwnandglory]

I'm not married, however I think we need to keep in mind that this is a journey. In Eph 2:10 it says that we are God's workmanship... I take that to mean that we are His work of art and He is the artist. Anyone who respects art knows that it takes time to create a masterpiece, they do not interrupt, judge or rush the artist instead they sit in humility as they watch the artist work. I think the same should be true as we go throughout this life on earth. Yes, we should seek first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matt 6:33) but while we are seeking don't expect to have it all together before you move into a higher level.

Also, if you are looking for a man to be holy before considering him you may be out of God's will. God may want to send you a saved man who is still growing in Christ. It takes discernment to be able to recognize where a person is today and where God is going to take them tomorrow.

PS. I just noticed that the things you listed as a description as holy are all related to lifestyle. Not smoking, drinking, clubbing, being mean, etc is far from being holy. Holiness is much more than the kind of activities you partake in, it has to do with your heart, obedience, submission, faith, fruit of the spirit, etc... All of the things you mentioned should be addressed/taken to God if one struggles with them but being delivered from that will NOT make you holy be careful with that. Some people find themselves seeking to be delivered from things like sex and partying and they think that is the answer, they get delivered and think they are holy only to find out later that they picked up new thorns/sins/bad habits that are not as overt but still separate them from God.

 

[crwnandglory]

Oh and sorry to hear about your computer!

 

[LucieLoo12]

Holiness is to be seperate from the world and set apart for the use/work of God

I am not married but I would like to address the topic ...

We have to realize that God is going to be perfecting us until the day of Jesus Christ..Its always going to be room for improvement and such. Now as for me, there are certain things I wouldnt walk into a marriage knowing me or my spouse battle with...

Examples of some things

*If he or I was battling lust, alot of times lust leads to cheating in the marriage because the spouse cant control his or her self. Remember lust wont be satisfied , thats why we need delieverance

*lying

*Presumptousness- hastily making decisions without thought

*Not able to lead -if the future spouse couldnt show that he was mature
enough to lead me or the household...big no no

Now these are just a few things...but OF course I know me or my spouse wont be perfect when we enter into the marriage but its some things I wouldnt walk into..

Like as for me, its some things I see in myself that I would stop myself from being married at this time.Just like I dont want my husband to make me miserable, I dont wanna make him miserable either..So as I wait, I will get delievered and free..

I struggle with wanting to get the last word,feeling of not wanting to be bothered, when I feel things opposing me I shut down..

So I wouldnt want to bring that into my marriage, so God is purifing me now...

 

[Poohbear]

I'm sorry ladies. My computer was stolen, so I have had limited access to the Internet. Anyway, sexual activity did not cross my mind when I created this thread. I was talking about not cursing, drinking/smoking excessively, gossiping, being mean, clubbing 24/7, listening to/looking at trash, etc. Sexual activity can be included, but this was not supposed to be one of those threads. Those threads quickly disintegrate into something else...

Why am I asking?

Sometimes, I feel like maybe I am being a hypocrite for wanting to meet someone who really wants to follow God/is saved when I still have one or two of the aforementioned habits. I'm saved BTW, but I am certain that if someone saw me angry they might question that. Needless to say, I want that part of me to change...In other words, did you have spiritual life together before you became a wife?

Thanks for clarifying. I'm not married yet so I can't really answer this question.