Church Etiquette

Misshairdiva

Well-Known Member
OK, I found a new local church home and I need to know church etiquette. One girl I met in church was telling me that ladies should not hug men in church. Is this true? I do hug my friends husband and she hugs mine in church. I dont want to do anything wrong.
Also, I try to make an EXTRA effort to wear modest clothing at Bible study as well as on Sunday. An older lady that I befriended said someone in the church pulled her to the side when she wore a V neck dress and told her she needed to close it up with a safety pin. I was shocked because she doesn't even have a chest! Is it me or if you do have a figure people look at how you dress more? I did an experiment. I wore a big frumpy shirt one day to Bible study. One where you couldn't even see my figure at all.
A guy there who's wifey is always looking homely commented and told me how "Godly" I looked. So, you can tell how "Godly" I look because my clothes today are frumpy? However, when I wore my Baby Phat shirt he told me I looked " worldy" and needed to be modest.
OK, I want to dress right and do the right stuff.
The church I used to go to was a mega church with five thousand people. No one ever talked and I never met a soul. My new church as about 70 people so I want to do the right thing.
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
Hairdiva,
I'm glad you found a new church! There is a such thing as dressing appropriately period (whether in church or not) but too many rules about this that and the other can be overkill. I would pray and ask God to show me if something in my wardrobe offends him. There are a lot of ppl who equate frumpiness with godliness. This is just not true but I think that line of thinking is more prevalent in smaller churches. Try to stay focused and see if your soul is being fed. That is by far the most important aspect of a church. Are the members making a Godly difference in the world outside of the church? I know you have been looking for a while but if there is too much focus on local rules this may not be the church for you. I'm sure you and DH have prayed and sought God about where to attend. Even if you were not dressed correctly, there is a decent and in order way for that to be communicated to you. Usually women talk to women and men talk to men. HTH
 

Aviah

Well-Known Member
Good to know you've found a new church. I understand you do not mean to offend, but at the same time, be yourself! If in doubt, then ask someone. Personally I see nothing wrong in hugging but some congregations may discourage that, in which case for the sake of peace, uphold that. I agree with Prudent, and ask for discernment! its not wrong to make mistakes, but still, allow yourself to be free, otherwise you will not be comfortable for a long time, if ever there...
HTH!
 

blazingthru

Well-Known Member
Its wonderful you find out a church home. I am really happy for you. I will share my experience, I greet men with a handshake but if I want to hug I hug there is nothing wrong with that. Unless the man is uncomfortable. I do use a safety pin in lower cut dresses and shirts. I wear dresses and skirts below my knee but I do this normally. Whatever I wear to work I wear to church. or I wear a sweater. sometimes its hard to find the right clothing so safety pin is not an issue for me. and I wear a sweater on top of that or a scarf. No one has ever said anything to me and frankly I would be offended if they did. I do wear shirts but with no logo on it its has to be plain and thats pretty much it I would wear jeans but it hasn't come to that yet probably in the winter on days like today for prayer service. I will go home and change into slacks and a regular blouse and then go to prayer meeting. I want to do things that please God not man, but I don't want to offend a brother either so I try to keep a happy medium.
 

Misshairdiva

Well-Known Member
Thanks ladies! I was shocked when this older lady who didnt even have a chest said someone told her to pin it up! I will just be myself and ask God for direction on everything!
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
OK, I found a new local church home and I need to know church etiquette. One girl I met in church was telling me that ladies should not hug men in church. Is this true? I do hug my friends husband and she hugs mine in church. I dont want to do anything wrong.

Also, I try to make an EXTRA effort to wear modest clothing at Bible study as well as on Sunday. An older lady that I befriended said someone in the church pulled her to the side when she wore a V neck dress and told her she needed to close it up with a safety pin. I was shocked because she doesn't even have a chest! Is it me or if you do have a figure people look at how you dress more? I did an experiment. I wore a big frumpy shirt one day to Bible study. One where you couldn't even see my figure at all.

A guy there who's wifey is always looking homely commented and told me how "Godly" I looked. So, you can tell how "Godly" I look because my clothes today are frumpy? However, when I wore my Baby Phat shirt he told me I looked " worldy" and needed to be modest.
OK, I want to dress right and do the right stuff.

The church I used to go to was a mega church with five thousand people. No one ever talked and I never met a soul. My new church as about 70 people so I want to do the right thing.
HairDiva, first of all I am so happy for you and your new Church. I wish you much happiness there and fruitful learning.

Second, I don't you see doing anything out of order; it's not your character. :Rose:

As for ettiquette, I always extend the 'Right Hand of Fellowship', whether I've been there a while or in a new environment.

Even in outside social settings, I extend my hand. I usually follow the general rule of allowing the man to initiate and the woman follows suit.

Blessings... :Rose:

BTW: Some women have a fit when their husbands get hugged. So I think the Church may have this in place to avoid certain spousal offenses. :yep:
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
An older lady that I befriended said someone in the church pulled her to the side when she wore a V neck dress and told her she needed to close it up with a safety pin.

I was shocked because she doesn't even have a chest!

The church I used to go to was a mega church with five thousand people. No one ever talked and I never met a soul. My new church as about 70 people so I want to do the right thing.

:rofl3: :rofl: :rofl:

Okay, maybe I've been drinking too much Green Tea and Lemon... But

:funny:

HairDiva, I'm not making light of your situation. I am so happy for you. But I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Let them be to themselves and just love them.

We 'know' you here and so does God. :love2:

DO NOT... I repeat: DO NOT EVER WEAR ANOTHER FRUMPY OUTFIT NOT ANOTHER 'AGAIN'. :giggle:

And most of all, please do not allow this Church discourage you from seeking and finding joy in another. A Church has to be where you are called to. This may be it, it may not be. But all in all, this is not the end of your House of Worship journey. This seems to be a bridge to take you over to the House of Worship that God has called you to.

Love these people and focus on Jesus! It seems to me that there's more focus on V necks than the Word itsself. Guess I'll buy some safety pins. :yep:
 

HeChangedMyName

Well-Known Member
Congratulations on finding a church. Rule of thumb is this. If you think you look extra sexy when you look in the mirror, then someone else might and you could distract them, not just from the pastor, but from the Word that God may have for them.

However, that doesn't mean that you need to wear burlap either.


Big church hats are distracting. Brightly colored coordinated suits with Gators are distracting, as are church lady suits in bright animal prints.. . .i'm just saying. Bad kids who run across the aisle from auntie to auntie are distracting. The reality is that you have to ask God to let you know what's inappropriate and be still and listen to him tell you.
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
Love these people and focus on Jesus! It seems to me that there's more focus on V necks than the Word itsself. Guess I'll buy some safety pins.
AMEN!

Big church hats are distracting. Brightly colored coordinated suits with Gators are distracting, as are church lady suits in bright animal prints.. . .i'm just saying. Bad kids who run across the aisle from auntie to auntie are distracting. The reality is that you have to ask God to let you know what's inappropriate and be still and listen to him tell you.
:lachen: How true...
 

HeChangedMyName

Well-Known Member
and let's not forget the ever so modest floor length kente cloth inspired, high collared long sleeaved mock robish type dresses that some women chose to wear. They are distracting too.

But the point. . .yep, i have one, just had to go NOT spare the rod on my kids. lol

The point is that if everyone is focused on clothing, then they may need to re-evaluate why their attention isn't on God. I've noticed personally that the only time my attention is pulled away from the message is when I come in already distracted. When I come "looking" for a Word and "expecting" God to show me something, I get tunnel vision.
 
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