Colorado Family Struggled With Debt Before Husband's Arrest In Wife And Daughters' Killing

Chicoro

5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Look up ambient abuse in relationships.
Things are always so urge with them, and they keep the relationship at a high speed pace. They also like to consume a lot of your time and energy. You have to be worn down first before the next level abuse takes place. I call that an emotional fog, but it is what is called Love Bombing. Also, people who are jerks will be jerks no matter what, but because they are so generous with their time, money, and energy, people do not pick up on the cues, or like I said they shrug it off.
His wife seemed like a piece of work too. They seemed like a one in the same type of person. That’s just my opinion.

Thank you for taking the time out to provide this detailed information. It is very much appreciated!
 

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
I just watched this one: Two things stand out.
1. His eyes are pretty much dead throughout the interview; his eyes don't look worried, or remorseful; no sign of emotions.
2. He says the he "can't stay in the house" ... "it's not the same".... He plans to stay at a friends house that evening.​

Which took me back to #1; DUDE your family is missing so you're going to leave the house too? Shouldn't your friends come by and stay with you to offer support and help keep a look out should your family return?
IJS
Girl! When he took the time out at the end of the interview to talk about his sports shirt? :/
 

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the reminder! Also note that the discussion of the Shirt was the only time he felt comfortable enough to unfold his arms (he did not have to give a guarded response the the shirt question). BUT, as soon as the [very next] questions returned to his family, 'dem arms folded again real quick!
Whoa did not notice the arms. You are right.
 

Sally.

Well-Known Member
I guarantee that he was texting his girlfriend while the police were in his house questioning him. He was on his phone the entire time.


have you seen this video of the first cop's bodycam? the husband acted so unconcerned about the fact that his wife was missing. while her friend is freaking out going from room to room trying to think about places the wife could've been, he is just standing silently, not offering any solutions, barely answering the officer's questions, and texting on his phone like his wife and children aren't even missing (the wife's car was still in the garage). what got me was the look of horror on his face when he thought the officer called for backup and was going to arrest him.
 

Evolving78

Well-Known Member
I wonder what is the fascination with this tragic story?
I think I can answer my own question. This is a reality, and it a reality for a lot of people. It is probably a reality for a lot of women on this board. Trying to figure him out, and learn all of the signs is somewhat helpful, but it is more helpful to understand why somebody doesn’t see and acknowledge what is right there in front of them is the key. Why are they ignoring the signs and not trusting their own judgement? The wife would be more fascinating to analyze than the murdering husband.
 

Southernbella.

Well-Known Member
So I watched the body can analysis and fell down a rabbit hole. Two things:

1) their mortgage was mentioned upthread. There was a Reddit thread on this and it seems they did not have a large down payment. If they had one at all, it was probably only like 5-10%:



2) there is a narrative about Shannan and her attitude. Apparently some folks feel she was controlling/overbearing/emasculating and they're using some of her YouTube streams/videos to prove it. I shouldn't be surprised but like...how do you victim blame a murdered pregnant woman?
 

Everything Zen

Well-Known Member
I think I can answer my own question. This is a reality, and it a reality for a lot of people. It is probably a reality for a lot of women on this board. Trying to figure him out, and learn all of the signs is somewhat helpful, but it is more helpful to understand why somebody doesn’t see and acknowledge what is right there in front of them is the key. Why are they ignoring the signs and not trusting their own judgement? The wife would be more fascinating to analyze than the murdering husband.

Agreed It’s very much a sign of the times. There is a very popular show called “Dirty John” right now that has captivated millions of people because you wonder why/how an intelligent wealthy business savvy woman fell for and continued to stay with a to psychopath at the expense of her family who had red flags at every turn. I think it makes you do an internal assessment to make sure that you’re not overlooking things in your own life.

Around the same time that this story broke, we had a very handsome, tall, family-oriented oncologist start in our department and he spoke so lovingly about his wife and kids. He went to church regularly and was so excited about his son’s communion, etc. I thought about this and jaded EZ was like- What’s wrong with him? o_O My church going mom agreed :look:
 

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
So I watched the body can analysis and fell down a rabbit hole. Two things:

1) their mortgage was mentioned upthread. There was a Reddit thread on this and it seems they did not have a large down payment. If they had one at all, it was probably only like 5-10%:



2) there is a narrative about Shannan and her attitude. Apparently some folks feel she was controlling/overbearing/emasculating and they're using some of her YouTube streams/videos to prove it. I shouldn't be surprised but like...how do you victim blame a murdered pregnant woman?
Even if that’s true and she had a bad attitude... just leave! And don’t kill your poor innocent babies! I can’t get with anyone trying to justify this psychos actions
 

Sally.

Well-Known Member
I think it's the combination of dead pregnant woman and kids killed by side chick having husband, all while putting on the SM front of being the all American family. Similar to the Lacy Peterson story.
Not for me. I don't care about none of this. What fascinates me is how this seemingly decent guy became so bold enough to kill his entire family and think he would get away with it in this day and age. He had no strong alibi and yet he did multiple televised interviews. It's like he didn't fully think this through yet still didn't try to flee. I am fascinated (meaning, horrified) by how patriarchy emboldens men, especially white men to the point of murder/violence/abuse against women. How could he have thought people were going to believe that his wife and kids just up and vanished and that he would be able to carry on with his life? I'm still trying to figure that out, but all I keep coming up with is patriarchy.
 

Southernbella.

Well-Known Member
They released more of his confession and it's awful.

one of the girls saw him dragging his wife's body down the stairs and both girls saw her dead on the floor of the truck and they saw him dig her grave. He killed the girls one at a time so one saw the other die.
 

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
@Chicoro What is confusing is that some of us have been conditioned to identify some Narc traits as "Love" or "Caring"; and example is seeing Control as Love, Snarky jabs as someone just being themselves-but they do it out of Love. When you see the traits, it is Imperative that you resist the urge to re-brand the behavior as something more reasonable.
I myself at 50+ still have a hard time with this.
After all I grew up [subconsciously] doing this to tolerate my parents behavior so until recently I was unaware of how this problem was ...the cause of my almost magnetic attractiveness to Narcs; Hell, I was classic Narc Bait
I had a realllly good video in my arsenal a while back but can't find it right now. I'll update this post when I do. Since you asked about how to identify these traits B4 you're [all in] Search for info on the "Narcisistic Smile or Smirk"....it's very telling.
View attachment 440133


I have had to learn to look out for the Narc Smile; Especially when it shows up at what to you is inappropriate times (dog, got hit by a car....or the pic of the ref

This lady (below) provides good explanations of what to look for in the Narc Smile/facial expressions. Her depiction of them may not be as clear; but once your radar is set to pick-up on the gestures they are hard to ignore. Most of us know what an arrogant smirk looks like.


Angie here, is very descriptive in how you may react when you 1st notice the traits; (we try to blow them off or )
A little off topic but on of my daughter’s friends moms married a narcissist/bipolar individual. She is right now on FB blasting everything that she’s been going through the last 2 years. It’s crazy. Shes also posting what the therapist said about him and his narcissistic behavior where their family is concerned.

BUt looking back through her pictures of him, he has that Narc Smile you are describing when comforting the kids while they are crying. I am just floored that I missed it. He has a financial hold over her but she’s basically said *** it and is taking the hit to get out from under his control. They signed a prenup so hopefully will be ok. :/
 

Ivonnovi

Well-Known Member
Kudo's to your friend for realizing it't time to say "when" and move on. I totally understand having to "take the hit" in order to gain peace. I wish her well.

Thank you for the mention. Regarding the "Narc Smile"....when you know what it is, and you See It...It becomes hard to ignore. Very Hard to Ignore.

Should she start dating again, share the pictures you mentioned with her, and explain the :angeldevil:smile.
OR just show her the video. SHE NEEDS the KNOWLEDGE TOO!:toocool:
 

Kindheart

Well-Known Member
He’s yt and got yt justice
They were going to . Shanann family didn’t want to so they made a plea deal confession for life in prison

I ve listened to all the 4 plus hours long confession and it’s horrific . The fbi done an amazing job stroking is ego and pretend to be his friend, the way he comes across like a nice guy and then goes to describe he drove 45 minutes with Shanann s body wrapped in a sheet ,how the girls said it smells in the car because the mother defecated after passing,how he smothered little Cece with her favorite blanket and Bella the oldest girl ,witnessed everything and begged her dad not to do that to her . It’s horrifying.
This is a covert narcissist with
Sociopathic traits or malignant narcissist the most dangerous one . He seemed passive and kind all his life ,almost whimsy,his wife thought he would never harm her or the girls ,she was bossy,a go getter ,strong personality,when he dropped the mask she was so confused she didn’t know him at all . Her idea of him is completely opposite of who he really is
 
Last edited:
Top