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Dating and Celibacy as a Christian

sweetvi

Well-Known Member
Kinkyhairlady
There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler. This book has great ideas you both can do.

My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise. He never tried anything as far as I know. She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed. She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature. As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially, but they got back together. Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child. She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying.


Successfulmiss

Maybe you can give her pointers on how you and hubby dated. It is easy to be celibate when your single and/or not attracted to prospects. However when you think you have found someone with potential, that's where the problem lies......
 

Belle Du Jour

Well-Known Member
Slightly off topic but there are some wonderful books and resources (blogs, websites, etc) on chastity and Christian sexuality:

The Thrill of the Chaste (Former Jew -->Christian)
When God Writes Your Love Story
When God is Your Matchmaker
Woman in Love
Theology of the Body (great series of talks about the true purpose of sex in marriage. There are several "cliff notes" versions.)

Blogs/Websites:
http://chastity.com/
http://madeinhisimage.org/
http://www.arleenspenceley.com/
http://worthyofagape.com/
http://theveilofchastity.com
 

Successfulmiss

New Member
sweetavi

My husband and I were military when we got together. We got engaged within 4 months and are together over 4 years later. We went to Christian marriage counseling to give us accountability and stability. Being military and godly we wanted to be professional and honorable(with the possibility of deployment), thus why we choose to get married so quickly. I became agreeable to God's will when He told me I was going to get married, that is why I knew I had to maintain celibacy for so long. For me and with God being my Heavenly Father, He knew it would have had to been a quick courtship:look:. I know everyone is not the same but the Bible does say it's better to marry then burn. Not saying just get married for sex, but I think God has humor in that verse and it worked for us!:lol: We take our vows very serious. Even to this day, we try to keep our marriage pure and ask "God is this OK?". We still want to keep God first in all things:yep:.
 

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
Kinkyhairlady
There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler. This book has great ideas you both can do.

My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise. He never tried anything as far as I know. She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed. She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature. As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially, but they got back together. Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child. She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying.

Successfulmiss

Maybe you can give her pointers on how you and hubby dated. It is easy to be celibate when your single and/or not attracted to prospects. However when you think you have found someone with potential, that's where the problem lies......

Thank you sweetvi! I will check out the book. Yes I agree we have to know our worth. I think he def was testing me and now that I've shown that I will not hesitate to walk away I see a change. He sees that my relationship with God is more important. I told him how is he gonna try to get me to sin and upset God with him. Sent him verses to show him its not worth it. Now he's ashamed and embarrassed of what he said. He needs more prayer.
 

sweetvi

Well-Known Member
Kinkyhairlady

Glad you passed the test! The book has really cute ideas. You will both enjoy it. Also, the fact he repented and felt conviction.....then there is hope. Now if he reacted otherwise....then errrrr. Lol
 

stephluv

Well-Known Member
I was celibate for 3 years before my husband found me and it was THE BEST DECISION I ever made! :grin: It took out any doubt, confusion or false promises that tried to come along. I had so much clarity and it was during that time I had the closest walk with God during my Christian life for the first time. I admonish any young or old person to be celibate before marriage and/or remain a virgin. Although it can be hard. My body naturally submitted to the Holy Spirit after a while and it was to the point I didnt even let a man touch me, etc. It was one of the greatest times of my life before marriage because God really developed my gifts and I was even more attractive to my husband. He was so happy I was celibate and still can't keep his eyes off me till this day. It really served a purpose and made a BIG difference in my marriage before and after. Be encouraged!:yep:

Thanks for your input!! 3yrs!!! ::says a prayer:: i thought yr 1 was gonna be alot tougher for me but I made it through

@Kinkyhairlady
There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler. This book has great ideas you both can do.

My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise. He never tried anything as far as I know. She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed. She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature. As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially, but they got back together. Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child. She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying.

@sweetvi - Got my book when we were at pinkypromise lol Also thank your for your friends testimony as well....happy she didnt stray
 

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.

This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.
 

blessedandfavoured

Well-Known Member
I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.

This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.

It's for the best - this man does not fear God, and the only place he is able to lead you is hell. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 makes it expressly clear that God abhors sexual immorality, and those who have a problem with that have a problem with HIM. This man's problem is bigger than his desire for sex, it is that he is not walking with God. If he was, he would not be 'waiting with you', he would be honouring God with his body, regardless of your opinion.

Since (I assume) you genuinely want a God-honouring marriage, avoid men like this. The woman who pleases God will escape such men (Ecclesiastes 7:26). I know it can be discouraging, but God made the world from nothing by the power of His word, what else can He not do? Please, in future, listen to the voice of God, and to wise, godly counsel such as was given in this thread, and flee people who are allowing satan to reign in their lives. You are God's child, don't let anyone convince you to offend Him. And beware making an idol out of marriage, or anything else.

May God bless you as you continue to walk with Him and put Him first, and may He reward you for waiting on Him. Those who wait on Him will not be ashamed. May He also comfort and encourage you at this time. And please, don't go back to this fellow, he is bad news. God bless you.
 

pre_medicalrulz

It Always Been About Hair!
I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.

This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.

Girl I feel you. But there are men out there saying the same thing about finding a woman who will keep their legs closed until marriage. I meet them more often than a true christian would believe. Lol Its like finding a needle in a hay stack for some but they are out there. With faith comes patience. You will find one if your heart & faith is in the right place. Tell that dude to bounce!
 

FlyyBohemian

Well-Known Member
I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.

This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.

I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word. However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it.

Written with love,
FlyyBohemian
 
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Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word. However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it.

Written with love,
FlyyBohemian

I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.
 

AtlantaJJ

Well-Known Member
Excellent thread. I'm pretty sure I just lost a "friend" because I let him know this friendship does not come with "benefits". Except for a couple of text messages, there has been silence between us since I told him.
 

FlyyBohemian

Well-Known Member
I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.

Oh wow. You didn't tell me that part. Four months is a bit too short for him to be acting up. You are right. If he wants to marry you, he should be willing to wait a little bit longer. Most guys want to have sex by four months. Don't worry. God will bless you with someone just as committed to celibacy as you.
 
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Successfulmiss

New Member
Oh I love this thread because it is going to help so many women! I am sorry but I have to say this....he is dead wrong and he is not being lead by God but his flesh. PERIOD! Some men will "talk" about marriage to try to get you to sleep with them! My husband got to the point that he didn't even want to show me any sort of "erection" or anything like that before we were married because that would have lead to temptation for me as well and he was trying very hard to be a gentlemen because he respected that I served the Lord. I am sorry but he knows what he is doing. This is why my husband and I went to counseling during our courtship because it is very hard to be young and trying to remain pure before marriage because we needed accountability. Mind you, my husband was not even in church before he met me! He claimed to be a complete agnostic prior to meeting me, although he had Pastors in his immediate family(agnostic=believing in a higher power but not submitting) but for him to want to seek counseling and go to our Pastor at the time about our courtship(he even proposed at the alter *TEARS*, I knew he was being lead by God. There should not be so much frustration, emotions involved etc, when God is the head. And like you said my sister in Christ; you do need to get to know him and having no sexual attraction to him is God confirming what we all have said here. This man is not truly interested in your best interest because you seem so hurt by this situation. Yes he mentioned marriage but don't just throw it out casually like this! Oh man :(. Before I became celibate, I had a relationship with someone in my old church(when I was a new Christian) and it went on for over 2 years and it caused me so much anguish and he did nothing but cause me pain and never married me! He only stopped pursuing me after he drove all the way to FL from ATL in this "hot" BMW, found my address(I don't even know how) and my husband answered the door! I can't make this up! LOL My husband told me it happened while I was at work & the guy even left his business card(he wanted to kill the guy but he is godly)and I don't want you to go there! You have your own decision to make I know & I could be totally wrong but please skip the years of anguish I went through :(
 

Belle Du Jour

Well-Known Member
I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word. However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it.

Written with love,
FlyyBohemian

I respectfully disagree. This man has failed miserably at demonstrating any restraint. First, he wasn't sure he wanted to be celibate (which is already a huge red flag). Next, he told her he would wait yet all the while still pressing her for more. He is not husband material (at least, not currently). He is still under the control of his flesh and if it wasn't OP, I get the impression he'd be pressing the next woman for sex.

Why do we expect men who have demonstrated no control prior to engagement and marriage to suddenly be faithful after the ceremony? It doesn't work like that. Men have waited longer than 4 months for the woman they love so while sexual desire is a God-given drive to move people towards marriage, He also gave us control.

OP, good luck with your decision.
 

FlyyBohemian

Well-Known Member
I respectfully disagree. This man has failed miserably at demonstrating any restraint. First, he wasn't sure he wanted to be celibate (which is already a huge red flag). Next, he told her he would wait yet all the while still pressing her for more. He is not husband material (at least, not currently). He is still under the control of his flesh and if it wasn't OP, I get the impression he'd be pressing the next woman for sex.

Why do we expect men who have demonstrated no control prior to engagement and marriage to suddenly be faithful after the ceremony? It doesn't work like that. Men have waited longer than 4 months for the woman they love so while sexual desire is a God-given drive to move people towards marriage, He also gave us control.

OP, good luck with your decision.

I get you. I didn't know the man was acting that way after 4 months. I was under the assumption that they were dating much longer than that.
 

Nice & Wavy

Well-Known Member
It's for the best - this man does not fear God, and the only place he is able to lead you is hell. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 makes it expressly clear that God abhors sexual immorality, and those who have a problem with that have a problem with HIM. This man's problem is bigger than his desire for sex, it is that he is not walking with God. If he was, he would not be 'waiting with you', he would be honouring God with his body, regardless of your opinion.

Since (I assume) you genuinely want a God-honouring marriage, avoid men like this. The woman who pleases God will escape such men (Ecclesiastes 7:26). I know it can be discouraging, but God made the world from nothing by the power of His word, what else can He not do? Please, in future, listen to the voice of God, and to wise, godly counsel such as was given in this thread, and flee people who are allowing satan to reign in their lives. You are God's child, don't let anyone convince you to offend Him. And beware making an idol out of marriage, or anything else.

May God bless you as you continue to walk with Him and put Him first, and may He reward you for waiting on Him. Those who wait on Him will not be ashamed. May He also comfort and encourage you at this time. And please, don't go back to this fellow, he is bad news. God bless you.
Yes, yes....and YES!!!

I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.
When a man doesn't show restraint before marriage, he isn't going to be able to show much restraint on many things after marriage.

Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

God says this to us:

YES-NO-WAIT

He either will give us what we desire, say no to it or tells us to wait. I believe the Lord has given you a way out here and He is telling you NO. He know your future...you can't see it, but He does and He doesn't want you to experience that because it will affect His plans for your life.

Listen to Him..."Weeping may endure for the night...but, JOY comes in the morning!"

God bless you. I believe you will make the right decision and when you purpose it in your heart, the Father will remove the desire to be with that person...and remove the hurt. Remember...you shouldn't be 'finding a man' wait for God to bring him to you!!!


:love2:


:bighug:
 

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
Yes, yes....and YES!!!

When a man doesn't show restraint before marriage, he isn't going to be able to show much restraint on many things after marriage.

Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

God says this to us:

YES-NO-WAIT

He either will give us what we desire, say no to it or tells us to wait. I believe the Lord has given you a way out here and He is telling you NO. He know your future...you can't see it, but He does and He doesn't want you to experience that because it will affect His plans for your life.

Listen to Him..."Weeping may endure for the night...but, JOY comes in the morning!"

God bless you. I believe you will make the right decision and when you purpose it in your heart, the Father will remove the desire to be with that person...and remove the hurt. Remember...you shouldn't be 'finding a man' wait for God to bring him to you!!!

:love2:

:bighug:

Ladies thanks for all the great advice. I've decided to walk away from the relationship. Well actually he made that decision and the next came crawling back apologizing and saying he can't be without me and will wait. Hmmm again? Well you said that before and when I wanted to leave you would not let me. Since I know I cannot sleep with you then it's best we just be friends. He's still acting like we're together asking when we gonna double date with his cousin and wife. Smh. I really like him despite this whole thing and it breaks my heart to walk away but I know by doing so I will allow God to work in my life. If this guy is who God chose well he needs to grow spiritually and maybe at that point we can work things out but for now we are not on the same page when it comes to Gods word.

Update: this literally just happened. He text me saying he found a ring and really needs to sit and talk. He does not want to lose me over his foolishness. Lol

I'm still walking away! Haven't known long enough to marry you. No bueno!
 
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Nice & Wavy

Well-Known Member
Ladies thanks for all the great advice. I've decided to walk away from the relationship. Well actually he made that decision and the next came crawling back apologizing and saying he can't be without me and will wait. Hmmm again? Well you said that before and when I wanted to leave you would not let me. Since I know I cannot sleep with you then it's best we just be friends. He's still acting like we're together asking when we gonna double date with his cousin and wife. Smh. I really like him despite this whole thing and it breaks my heart to walk away but I know by doing so I will allow God to work in my life. If this guy is who God chose well he needs to grow spiritually and maybe at that point we can work things out but for now we are not on the same page when it comes to Gods word.
I'm proud of you and the decision that you made. Trust God...trust Him with every ounce of your being. He is going to bring the right man into your life....I know..it happened to me :love2:
 

Successfulmiss

New Member
I am so happy for you and if my testimony of how God moved the Ishmael and brought me the promise blessed you enough that the Holy Spirit witnessed to you to walk away then my pain was not in vain! It's just not worth it and i cant say that enough! I am a miracle standing! And while I am not perfect, God let me have the last laugh when that fool kept chasing me once a real man (my true husband) got right completely with God then asked for my hand even after the fraud tried to keep me but wouldn't marry me! I'm so happy for you and this shows me you are ready for a true marriage where God is first! I have never been happier since giving every area of my life totally to His will! I wake up everyday with passion and purpose because I know I am in right standing and 100% sold out to Him! No better feeling in the earthly realm LOL!
 

FlyyBohemian

Well-Known Member
I am so happy for you and if my testimony of how God moved the Ishmael and brought me the promise blessed you enough that the Holy Spirit witnessed to you to walk away then my pain was not in vain! It's just not worth it and i cant say that enough! I am a miracle standing! And while I am not perfect, God let me have the last laugh when that fool kept chasing me once a real man (my true husband) got right completely with God then asked for my hand even after the fraud tried to keep me but wouldn't marry me! I'm so happy for you and this shows me you are ready for a true marriage where God is first! I have never been happier since giving every area of my life totally to His will! I wake up everyday with passion and purpose because I know I am in right standing and 100% sold out to Him! No better feeling in the earthly realm LOL!

I have a question to ask you. I'm starting to give non-Christian men a chance. How did your husband end up coming to Christ? How was he led. I've seen and heard of several situations in which the man was an agnostic or non-religious and later became a Christian. Also I find myself sharing a lot of things in common with some men who are not Christian and I would love that it would be a possibility that they would join the Faith.
 

Successfulmiss

New Member
I am going to PM you to not derail the thread if this info isnt enough for you. The Bible says to not be unequally yolked(remember King Solomon and how he was taken from God by "women that served strange gods") but it takes much prayer, counseling and deliverance before even considering dating a non Christian and possible marriage. You MUST be led by the spirit of God, totally and completely and there are stories in the bible of godly kings that found their wives before their wives served God that I can't recall right now but there is one story about the harlot that the King picked. The Bible also says the wife sanctifies the husband and vice versa in marriage. Not trying to sound overly spiritual or anything but the Lord gave me my vision of marriage 3-4 years before I married and thats some deep stuff! If my husbands presence and actions in my life not witnessed to my spirit before he served God, I would not have ever known he was my husband because he was not the traditional "church going" man. This is where your foundation in Christ comes first and not faith in the church building. I know some may not agree but my husband and I are going on almost 5 years of a happy marriage now. There are many people that go to church and are not truly following Him. So yes, it took intensive spiritual work before our nuptials and we still get counseling and invest into our marriage which I think every godly couple should do. But if you have any other serious questions pm me because I didn't want you to fall into confusion from too many opinions as I have in the past. I am only speaking from MY experience. I was taunted and humiliated by people in church that Id never be married or successful, that I was crazy & undesirable (jealousy, but thats an entirely different thread smh) Not saying I am perfect but that God had a plan for me and by much sacrifice, obedience and celibacy, God's grace gave me the will to follow through to the end of His vision and now I have a very successful and godly marriage :) God is amazing beyond words! **********Hallelujah!!!*********
 

trclemons

Well-Known Member
Hey Ladies. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing in their dating and celibate life.

I'm still not dating and I'm still celibate. Now that I've graduated, I hope to begin dating soon.
 
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