Divorce and Remarriage

[gone_fishing]

I know some of you have the good sense to stay out of "off topic" discussions about the bible. I wish I had. I'm learning.

But I wanted to ask this question in here for those who probably saw the thread but didn't want to get involved in that topic in the OT forum.

Here are two conflicting views on remarriage and divorce.

VIEW 1 - REMARRIAGE IN THE CASE OF ADULTERY

First of all, no matter what view one takes in the issue of divorce it is important to remember the words of the Bible from Malachi 2:16a: “I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel.” According to the Bible, God’s plan is that marriage be a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that since a marriage involves two sinful human beings, divorce is going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this "exception clause" as referring to "marital unfaithfulness" during the "betrothal" period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged “betrothed.” Immorality during this "betrothal" period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

However, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of sexual immorality. It is can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations is such an integral part of the marital bond “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, a breaking of that bond by sexual relations outside of marriage might be a permissible reason for divorce. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although it is not stated in the text, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the "guilty party" is allowed to remarry - but no such concept is taught in this text.

Some understand 1 Corinthians 7:15 as another “exception,” allowing remarriage if an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer. However, the context does not mention remarriage, but only says a believer is not bound to continue a marriage if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave. Others claim that abuse (spousal or child) are valid reasons for divorce even though they are not listed as such in the Bible. While this may very well be the case, it is never wise to presume upon the Word of God.

Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for divorce. Even when adultery is committed a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). However, in many instances, a spouse is unrepentant and continues in sexual immorality. That is where Matthew 19:9 can possibly be applied. Many also look too quickly to remarriage after a divorce when God might desire them to remain single. God sometimes calls a person to be single so that their attention is not divided (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Remarriage after a divorce may be an option in some circumstances, but that does not mean it is the only option.

It is distressing that the divorce rate among professing Christians is nearly as high as that of the unbelieving world. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorces will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if their divorce and/or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good

Which one do you think is correct?

 

[gone_fishing]

VIEW 2: - NO MARRIAGE UNTIL ONE SPOUSE PASSES AWAY

If divorce is a devastating problem for God's church, remarriage is as great. Divorce is an evil because of the sin it often leads to: remarriage, while one's original spouse still lives. With God's people of old, "with overwhelming grief I weep," because of this violation of God's law.

Has it come to such as pass, however, that divorce and remarriage are not considered evils? Is it so, that God's people have so wearied of the problem that they have given in? Has the church surrendered to the pressures to allow divorce for "every cause" and remarriage of any who have "confessed" their sin?

Here, more than ever, it is important not to allow our emotions guide us. There are very few who are not personally touched by these questions. For believers who have deep wounds and scars from the troubles of bad marriages, we pray that God's Word may heal, that Jesus Christ may be the Great Physician for them.

Study with me the Bible's teaching on remarriage.

The Bible teaches that there may be no remarriage unless one's spouse has died. This means physical death, as every person who has made the vows at marriage would admit is the meaning of the phrase, "till death do us part."

Some claim that two New Testament passages especially are grounds for remarriage after divorce, even when one's spouse is still living. Matthew 19:9 and I Corinthians 7:15 both are interpreted to allow for remarriage of the "innocent party" - - the faithful or deserted spouse.

Apart from the interpretation of these texts, consider what has happened in the churches that have taken this view of these texts. All will admit that divorce is allowed not only on these two grounds - adultery and desertion - but for almost every cause. Desertion is taken to mean almost everything, from mental cruelty to being aloof. Remarriage is allowed not only for the "innocent party," but for anyone who has divorced. The floodgates have been opened, allowing to be swept away the blessed institution of marriage (to say nothing yet, about what happens to the children).

What does the Scripture say? In every other passage of Scripture, God makes it very plain that He does not allow remarriage. Mark 10:11,12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:1-3, and I Corinthians 7:39, all show plainly that God forbids marriage when one's original spouse is still living. If one appeals to Deuteronomy 24 as grounds for remarriage, he must first read Matthew 19 and hear what Jesus said about that kind of appeal. We explained Deuteronomy 24 in our last paper.

Matthew 19 is more important. Apart from the difficulty of judging who really is "innocent" in a divorce, Matthew 19 does not allow for an innocent party to remarry. Four things make that clear:

FIRST, one must look carefully at the clause beginning with the word "except". See what the "except clause" refers to. The exception is to Jesus' prohibition of divorce, and not of remarriage. Jesus gives an exception that allows divorce; there is not an exception here that allows remarriage. Jesus could easily have said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, except it be for fornication. . ." Instead, He said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery." Notice carefully the placement of the "except" clause.

SECOND, it seems that Jesus referred to a woman who had not committed adultery here - an innocent party. About her Jesus says, "and whoso marries her which is put away doth commit adultery". If the man that marries the innocent woman commits adultery by marrying her, she certainly is committing adultery. That's plain.

THIRD, even though we might not think Jesus' teaching was very clear, His disciples did! It seems that everyone who uses this passage to support remarriage fails completely to deal with the following verses, 10-12. In these verses, Jesus' disciples privately and bitterly complained to their Teacher. They said, in effect, "Jesus, if your teaching is true, it would be better for a man not ever to marry." Why would the disciples make such a statement? If divorce were so easy, and remarriage allowable with a statement of confession of sin, why should the disciples have said that it would be better not ever to marry? There is no other explanation, except that they saw Jesus' hard, humanly impossible calling for some after they marry.

Jesus' own answer to the disciples shows that this explanation of the disciple's remarks is correct. Jesus answers the disciple's concern by teaching that there are three kinds of eunuchs (men or women who are not sexually active). Some are born with no sexual desire. Others are made eunuchs by men (it was common for slaves in a king's harem to be castrated). Others "have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it". What is Jesus saying? Very simply, some refrain from all sexual activity (remarriage) for the sake of obedience to Jesus Christ. If remarriage is permitted after divorce, Jesus would not have taught that some make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He also recognizes the extreme difficulty: "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." He is a Savior Who sympathizes with His people.

 

[gone_fishing]

View 2 (Continued)...

FOURTH, Jesus' apostles understood well what Jesus taught here. Paul, the chief among them, took the time to explain and apply Jesus' teaching about remarriage when he wrote I Corinthians 7. In verses 10 and 11 Paul makes a distinction between what the Lord commands and what he, Paul, commands. The difference is not between what is required by God and what is Paul's own opinion, but between that the Lord Jesus had explained in His earthly ministry and what Paul adds to that teaching by inspiration of the Spirit. In verse 10 Paul refers to something the Lord Himself had commanded. What was that? "Let not the wife depart from (divorce) her husband: but and if she depart (divorce), let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband". That's amazing! It is also powerful. Paul says that Jesus gave two options to a woman who had to leave her husband: (1) Remain unmarried; (2) Be reconciled. It would be the height of cruelty (to say nothing of wicked folly) for Paul to give only these two options to a divorced mother of children, if Jesus had given another option - remarry. Faithful to Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19, Paul does not give permission to remarry while one's spouse is living.

I Corinthians 7:15 is often used to support remarriage while one's spouse still lives. Briefly, the explanation goes, if a man deserts his wife (or vice-versa) the wife is not "bound" any longer. Then, since verse 39 shows "not bound" means free to marry, this deserted spouse is free to marry. One sad aspect of this line of thought is that it is based on the NIV translation that carelessly translates two different Greek words with the same English word. Verse 15 speaks of being in bondage (slavery), and verse 39 speaks of being bound (tied firmly). Marriage binds a man to his wife for life; but a deserted spouse is not a slave (in bondage) to the dread of guilt, excommunication, etc. God calls us to peace. (For a lengthier explanation of this passage, please call or write us, and we will gladly send it to you.)
Why this strict teaching of Scripture? Because marriage is a bond made by God, to be broken only by Him. No legal contract that can be broken by the parties at their will and whim, marriage is God's bond (I Corinthians 7:39). Genisis 2 says, "They two shall be one flesh." No man can do that.
The question is, "Can anything but death break that bond?" The answer of some is, "Divorce". If that is the answer, there is no reason the guilty party may not remarry. Alas, this is the case in almost every church that began allowing divorce for only the "innocent party."

Those who remarry, while their original spouse still lives, are living in continual adultery. Repentance from that sin is to leave the new spouse and remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the original spouse (I Corinthians 7:11). Reconciliation must be prayed for, sought out, zealously, for God's sake and the children's.

Is this possible? Is it the case, as it is argued so persuasively, that "Jesus would never requires such hardship as that"? If so, Christianity has been transformed into a religion far different from what its founder taught it to be. Jesus said that the life of His disciples would be a cross - - losing life, giving up family members, perhaps even calling His people to hate father or mother. Jesus said that His followers must "count the cost" before they follow Him, lest they be mocked because they find they have not the will to continue (Luke 14:25-33). What Jesus says in Matthew 10:34-39, 19:1-12, Mark 10:28ff, and Luke 12:49-53 is powerful opposition to the teaching that Jesus does not require of His people humanly impossible things.

Let God's people be motivated by this teaching to work on their marriages, warn their children, preach the truth about marriage, guard jealously God's institutions, and (especially!) pray for grace to walk in God's way, where they carry away His blessing. Be encouraged, God's people, by His Word to you in Ephesians 3:20,21.

 

[kbragg]

I'm just having a hard time with the idea that God wants me to rip my family apart and send me to hell because I am divorced from my ex non Christian spouse who cheated on my and tried to kill me.

 

[gone_fishing]

Honestly, hon...

It's easy to take a verse and try to use it to suit our own wants and desires. We DO have to be careful of that.

Before I filed for a divorce, I was confused about this very thing.

As I stated in that other thread, I went to counseling at my church and they have always been very strict when it comes to their doctrine.

This is my church website:

http://www.centralchurchofgod.org

I was told by Pastor Douglas that I could remarry and I trusted and believed that he was correct and followed him in verses that discussed that issue. This was 3 or so years ago at this point.

Obviously, this is a dear subject to me since I'm about to get married next month. I had thought this issue was settled (after consulting with my church).

 

[Browndilocks]

I just believe that God would not allow divorce AT ALL if getting one meant that you were still married to your ex spouse. What sense does that make?


"I got a divorce but I'm still married to my ex wife." That even sounds stupid.

Come on now.

Forget all of the philosophical hoopla for a second. It's simple logic. If you are divorced, then you are not married. Period.

The fact is - God allows divorce when your spouse cheats on you. Period.

That doesn't mean He likes it, but He does allow it. How many things in your life have you allowed although you weren't too fond of doing so? For me, plenty. So God definitely knows about that...

A divorce means that you are no longer married. Period.

If you are divorced because your spouse cheated on you, then you are single.

If you are single, then you are not married. Period.

If you are not married, then you can get married. Period.

 

[janiebaby]

I'm just having a hard time with the idea that God wants me to rip my family apart and send me to hell because I am divorced from my ex non Christian spouse who cheated on my and tried to kill me.

If this happens to me I'm getting a divorce. A close family member of mine was killed by her spouse and a friend of mine was shot several times and saved by the grace of God by an ex.

 

[Shimmie]

I'm just having a hard time with the idea that God wants me to rip my family apart and send me to hell because I am divorced from my ex non Christian spouse who cheated on my and tried to kill me.

Lady K, your present marriage is ordained of God...let no one tell you any different.

You are not being held accountable for the sins of your first husband who gave you no other option than divorce.

God is the Giver of new beginnings. He puts away the old and begins with the new. Rejoice in your marriage which God will allow no man to put assunder.

And may I say this to precious you and precious Adequate? Stay out of OT with these matters. It's bringing about confusion which God is NOT the author of. Too many 'counselors' is not the will of God. Especially when the counsel is of man and not of God. God says to 'seek' Him. At least over here, when and if we disagree on something, you can best believe we have the Holy Spirit right here in the midst where He can settle it in our hearts and correct us. In the midst of confusion, that's all it's going to ever be....confusion.

So..........stay outta there with these matters. The devil just waiting to pounce all over the peace that God has ordained for you.



Before you two come after me....

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Lady K, your present marriage is ordained of God...let no one tell you any different.

You are not being held accountable for the sins of your first husband who gave you no other option than divorce.

God is the Giver of new beginnings. He puts away the old and begins with the new. Rejoice in your marriage which God will allow no man to put assunder.

And may I say this to precious you and precious Adequate? Stay out of OT with these matters. It's bringing about confusion which God is NOT the author of. Too many 'counselors' is not the will of God. Especially when the counsel is of man and not of God. God says to 'seek' Him. At least over here, when and if we disagree on something, you can best believe we have the Holy Spirit right here in the midst where He can settle it in our hearts and correct us. In the midst of confusion, that's all it's going to ever be....confusion.

So..........stay outta there with these matters. The devil just waiting to pounce all over the peace that God has ordained for you.



Before you two come after me....

Whew....thank you, sis.

 

[CandiceC]

I would have posted the same scriptures if the thread was posted over here instead of over there. erplexed

ETA: More people were able to see the topic over there so hopefully it has sparked someone to study the topic for themselves.

 

[janiebaby]

Lady K, your present marriage is ordained of God...let no one tell you any different.

You are not being held accountable for the sins of your first husband who gave you no other option than divorce.

God is the Giver of new beginnings. He puts away the old and begins with the new. Rejoice in your marriage which God will allow no man to put assunder.

And may I say this to precious you and precious Adequate? Stay out of OT with these matters. It's bringing about confusion which God is NOT the author of. Too many 'counselors' is not the will of God. Especially when the counsel is of man and not of God. God says to 'seek' Him. At least over here, when and if we disagree on something, you can best believe we have the Holy Spirit right here in the midst where He can settle it in our hearts and correct us. In the midst of confusion, that's all it's going to ever be....confusion.

So..........stay outta there with these matters. The devil just waiting to pounce all over the peace that God has ordained for you.



Before you two come after me....

Thank you!

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you!

Awww, is it safe for me to come back in?

 

[gone_fishing]

Thank you for your comments Shimme. I was feeling pretty down after reading that thread so you're right...he is just waiting there to pounce all over our peace.

I never really understand why N&W had made the promise, to self, to stay out of OT (with these matters) but now I understand why.

 

[Browndilocks]

Awww, is it safe for me to come back in?

Come back in Shimmie. I'm intrigued by this subject. POVs that come from topics such as these are often the reasons why I dislike conversing with "bible scholars" and shall I say it, have no desire to be able to quote the bible front and back to anyone. I'm not trying to attack anyone personally but I'm just speaking for myself. Biblical interpretations can be so extreme that it is often discouraging and downright foolish looking.

I don't know. I guess this is bringing me down a little. And I don't know why because I'm not even married erplexed.

 

[CandiceC]

Come back in Shimmie. I'm intrigued by this subject. POVs that come from topics such as these are often the reasons why I dislike conversing with "bible scholars" and shall I say it, have no desire to be able to quote the bible front and back to anyone. I'm not trying to attack anyone personally but I'm just speaking for myself. Biblical interpretations can be so extreme that it is often discouraging and downright foolish looking.

I don't know. I guess this is bringing me down a little. And I don't know why because I'm not even married erplexed.

I began to feel down too cause it seemed like people's feelings were being hurt when that wasn't my intent. I don't think I was saying anything mean.

I figure it's ok to agree to disagree. I like all of you guys here.

 

[Browndilocks]

I began to feel down too cause it seemed like people's feelings were being hurt when that wasn't my intent. I don't think I was saying anything mean.

I figure it's ok to agree to disagree. I like all of you guys here.

It's really nothing personal. The subject itself just makes me sad. I have a lot of friends who married RIGHT out of college. 2 of them are now divorced. Both because of infidelity. My one friend is a BEAUTIFUL mother of 2 small children... someone who would love to (and who I'd love to see) get married again. She's someone who could use the help of a good husband. We're just hittin 30. If her ex doesn't die then she's doomed to a life of lonliness or sin because of fornication? My heart goes out to people in those situations.

What if you are a single woman with a desire to marry, and you meet a man who is divorced from his wife and he now wants to marry you? You came along after his first marriage had already come & gone. You've prayed about things pertainng to the relationship, etc and you believe that your relationship with this man is blessed. Let's say the ex wife cheated on him. What if his ex wife has already moved on with her life, remarried, had someone else's kids and everything? And just speaking for my boy: what if you're just approaching 30? He's doomed if he marries you and you're doomed by association? I just don't buy that. Moreover, something about that - all for the sake of trying to live righteous - just doesn't sit right with my own spirit.

These are situations that I've seen first hand. I'm forever being told that God is a God of second chances. If you go through a divorce and God blesses you with a healed heart that enables you get to a place where you would ever consider marriage again - it seems to me that a Christian would be even MORE determined to make that second marriage work. Even more dedicated to the promise of God. They'd enter into the second union with an enlarged sense of gratefulness; that much more selective, cautious and spiritually sound when choosing a second mate. It seems to me that in many cases, (and if your heart is TRULY sincere) the blessing of a second marriage is the tangible ability to be blessed with the opportunity to try it again. I'm not talking about people who abuse divorce over and over again. There's a clear difference. Maybe it's just me.

 

[Mahalialee4]

deleted to make room as this was double posted.

 

[kbragg]

Thank you all so much for your posts. Thank you Shimmie and everyone else, you've truly blessed me. I have to remember that God is my only judge and He does not seek to condemn me. Romas 8:1

Hubby made a good point to me earlier. King David's marriage to Bathsheba was ceertainly un-Godly, yet God did not instruct David to un-marry her. Matter of fact, nowhere in the Bible does it command you to un-marry your spouse. I know now that it is God's Will for me to stay in my marriage, raise my children up in His ways, and walk in His forgiveness and mercy.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I began to feel down too cause it seemed like people's feelings were being hurt when that wasn't my intent. I don't think I was saying anything mean.

For what it's worth, I agree with EVERYTHING you concluded based on what the scripture says.

It would be hypocritical for people to interpret the bible literally when it's being applied to everyone else, but figuratively when it applies to themselves.

Now wouldn't it?

 

[Mahalialee4]

Since this topic has opened up here, I will repeat what I posted on the OT as

A THOUGHT for Christians :The Law without JUSTICE MERCY FAITH

I was in a church once that were (pulpit driven) hardliners on the "deevorce" issue" as they put it. A black pastor. They beat that to death from the pulpit, and really condemned people. Elders and their wives stopped speaking to former friends (stopped talking to the wife only but would talk to the husband... seem(ed) to be par for the course.)...refused to let divorced people sing in the choir, lead anything, be included in certain church social events, made sure they singled out and pointed out the "deevorced " people so others did not get contaminated etc. etc. FAST FORWARD..... 15 years later ....like to hear the state of affairs today?

1. Pastor is dead...his wife is a widow
2. Pastor's son got a girl pregnant...they got married when she was showing and it was public knowledge, while Pastor was alive. Two of his sisters that attended same church....divorced....niece, divorced twice...HIS DAUGHTER divorced while he was alive, she is now remarried. Incidentally, the same hardline restrictions were not imposed on his daughter, she taught Sunday School, sang in choir, taught choir, prophesied etc. etc.
3. Three of his elders divorced, plus one elder separated after he became a pastor himself, and another elder is separated and his wife has no intent of returning to the marriage....and this was after two "prophets" were brought in to "bind these men and their wives in marriage and set an example to the church.
4. A good every 3 out of five marriages that were performed in that church ended in divorce, which would total at least 15 couples who never reunited and maybe 12 divorced, moved on and some remarried. One righteous older brother is now living common law with a 19 year old, and he had been held up as a shining example and his wife was shunned when they divorced. One lady who set herself as the "moral guardian of the church", was the pastor's sister....it was her daughter that is now twice divorced, and one was "living in sin," , the same daughter who was not even allowed to have coffee with a "divorced sister", even with supervision, and finally married and ended up separating several times, and has a cheatin man and looks a wreck from being married to a triflin man. Oh well!

As I stated to one lady who was so self righteous when her friend divorced...I reminded her, you still have years to go, you have a daughter and a son to go through marriage ....and grandchildren....be careful...can you guarantee it will not happen to you and in your family?

I wonder if your husband or your wife leaves and you are a young person, and there can be no reconciliation., (man a pervert, molester of children, chronic cheater and abusive , refuses to abide with you and provide with you....or is mentally insane....and you are a hardliner about divorce... say you are 25 years old...like when you been living alone for 10-20 years etc. maybe next door to the same lady or man you judged....can we do a followup in 15-20-30 years and see what happened to you? Like, if you stayed married or are now single and never HAD SEX EVER AGAIN, even once after the separation or the divorce?.... Cause if we want to get hardline, then that would have to be the case cause the Word says "He will judge FORNICATORS AND ADULTERS... And if that is what you are holding people to, that will also have to apply to hardliners. No marriage No sex! Ever!!!! And if only widows are free to remarry, there is the "fornication" issue again. If a widow is not married, she is not free to "fornicate" any more than a single person who had never married. Fallout Could be interesting.
I Divorce is not the "unforgiveable" sin.

Seriously consider this:

At one time, IF YOUR PARENTS WERE NOT MARRIED, you were considered a "bastard", could not serve in the temple, could not inherit anything. Well there are a lot of "illegitimate" Christians, who were not born in wedlock. In your families, perhaps and in your church. In fact 2/3 of your church may be "bastards". Now, those who are really into Scripture: This should really bring the matter home. Deuteronomy 23:2 Quote: "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his 10th generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord". So that would include you, your children, your great grandchildren etc. etc. etc. if you were to apply this. And if any of your children have babies out of wedlock.......none of ya'll could even attend Church! Or do we only apply the scriptures about divorce? Hey, it is in the Bible!
Now if you were born out of wedlock, and we know that the other terms are illegitimate, or "bastard", back in the day....don't stone me....I am only using the term as in the Scriptures to make my point about being a hardliner!

Now since My mother was unwed when she had me, when I read that Scripture, and the way the church folks acted about it...For years, I believed I could not be accepted by God...just because I was illegitimate, a "bastard" and I was stumbled for YEARS!!!!!!! Now, if we are going to held to the one, are we not held to the other, or was it nailed to the cross, and under the blood? And if anyone is a believer and happens to have a baby out of wedlock....WOULD THIS SCRIPTURE apply to your baby? and we won't even get into: Whether or not you were a virgin on your wedding night!Deuteronomy 22:20-21...naw...we are not going to go theRE. RIGHT?




Just some food for thought!

 

[Nice & Wavy]

First, I'd like to say thank you, adequate, for understanding.

Secondly, the Holy Spirit confirms the Word of God in the heart of every person that is open to hear what saith the Lord. The Holy Spirit knows what is in the heart of the Father and He reveals that to those that are His.

Everyone will/can have an opinion about this topic. This isn't the first time and it won't be the last. But, we know in our hearts what the Father says about it because the Holy Spirit reveals it to us.

Kbragg, don't ever, ever, ever let anyone tell you that your marriage relationship is wrong. You love the Lord and He loves you too and your husband and your children. You listen to the Holy Spirit, just as we do and He would have let you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you were wrong for doing it. I don't/won't/will not judge anyone for this...not me.

Praying for all in this forum....ALL OF US!

Blessings...always.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I began to feel down too cause it seemed like people's feelings were being hurt when that wasn't my intent. I don't think I was saying anything mean.

I figure it's ok to agree to disagree. I like all of you guys here.

CandiceC, I love you girl

What happens in situations like this is that our hearts really want to share what we think will get across to others...and sometimes, it just doesn't work out the way we thought it would. To us as believers, the scriptures is the truth...the light in which we choose to live our lives with. It's the mirror for our souls and we don't take it lightly. But, for those that don't, it is foolishness and it doesn't make sense. This is why its so important to discern when to speak and when to remain quiet. Sometimes, quiet is good....I learn this every day that I live.

God does give opportunities to share His Word in season. There are times when people are not going to want to hear it either, and that too is ok. We must always be reminded that it is God who gives the understanding to those whose hearts may be hardened by hearing what we have to say. But, God has called us to PEACE!

Thank you, for being a vehicle in which God is using in this forum. I always look forward to hearing what you will say in your posts...you make me smile....

Blessing to you, always...my sister, my friend!

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you all so much for your posts. Thank you Shimmie and everyone else, you've truly blessed me. I have to remember that God is my only judge and He does not seek to condemn me. Romas 8:1

Hubby made a good point to me earlier. King David's marriage to Bathsheba was ceertainly un-Godly, yet God did not instruct David to un-marry her. Matter of fact, nowhere in the Bible does it command you to un-marry your spouse. I know now that it is God's Will for me to stay in my marriage, raise my children up in His ways, and walk in His forgiveness and mercy.

Exactly Lady K... Your husband heard from the Holy Ghost regarding King David. Also King David's original intent was 'sex' only and not marriage to Bathsheba. He was straight up in total sin from beginning to end.

Your husband also heard from God when he chose to marry you. How could he resist for scripture surely came to pass when he 'found' you...for when a man finds a wife, he has found a good thing. You are his good thing and there's none better suited for him.

Lady K, God did not call you to 'unmarry' your present husband. If anything he moved the previous 'meathead' out of the way to clear the way your REAL husband...the one you are with now.

You're not like the woman at the well. Your first marriage was a mistake which God has corrected. So be blessed and stay happily married and continue to glorify God all the days of your life. Giving Him full reign of your life and marriage to fulfill your Destiny. Don't undo what God gave you in answer to your prayers. Someone to love you, eternally.

 

[Shimmie]

Since this topic has opened up here, I will repeat what I posted on the OT as

A THOUGHT for Christians :The Law without JUSTICE MERCY FAITH

I was in a church once that were (pulpit driven) hardliners on the "deevorce" issue" as they put it. A black pastor. They beat that to death from the pulpit, and really condemned people. Elders and their wives stopped speaking to former friends (stopped talking to the wife only but would talk to the husband... seem(ed) to be par for the course.)...refused to let divorced people sing in the choir, lead anything, be included in certain church social events, made sure they singled out and pointed out the "deevorced " people so others did not get contaminated etc. etc. FAST FORWARD..... 15 years later ....like to hear the state of affairs today?

1. Pastor is dead...his wife is a widow
2. Pastor's son got a girl pregnant...they got married when she was showing and it was public knowledge, while Pastor was alive. Two of his sisters that attended same church....divorced....niece, divorced twice...HIS DAUGHTER divorced while he was alive, she is now remarried. Incidentally, the same hardline restrictions were not imposed on his daughter, she taught Sunday School, sang in choir, taught choir, prophesied etc. etc.
3. Three of his elders divorced, plus one elder separated after he became a pastor himself, and another elder is separated and his wife has no intent of returning to the marriage....and this was after two "prophets" were brought in to "bind these men and their wives in marriage and set an example to the church.
4. A good every 3 out of five marriages that were performed in that church ended in divorce, which would total at least 15 couples who never reunited and maybe 12 divorced, moved on and some remarried. One righteous older brother is now living common law with a 19 year old, and he had been held up as a shining example and his wife was shunned when they divorced. One lady who set herself as the "moral guardian of the church", was the pastor's sister....it was her daughter that is now twice divorced, and one was "living in sin," , the same daughter who was not even allowed to have coffee with a "divorced sister", even with supervision, and finally married and ended up separating several times, and has a cheatin man and looks a wreck from being married to a triflin man. Oh well!

As I stated to one lady who was so self righteous when her friend divorced...I reminded her, you still have years to go, you have a daughter and a son to go through marriage ....and grandchildren....be careful...can you guarantee it will not happen to you and in your family?

I wonder if your husband or your wife leaves and you are a young person, and there can be no reconciliation., (man a pervert, molester of children, chronic cheater and abusive , refuses to abide with you and provide with you....or is mentally insane....and you are a hardliner about divorce... say you are 25 years old...like when you been living alone for 10-20 years etc. maybe next door to the same lady or man you judged....can we do a followup in 15-20-30 years and see what happened to you? Like, if you stayed married or are now single and never HAD SEX EVER AGAIN, even once after the separation or the divorce?.... Cause if we want to get hardline, then that would have to be the case cause the Word says "He will judge FORNICATORS AND ADULTERS... And if that is what you are holding people to, that will also have to apply to hardliners. No marriage No sex! Ever!!!! And if only widows are free to remarry, there is the "fornication" issue again. If a widow is not married, she is not free to "fornicate" any more than a single person who had never married. Fallout Could be interesting.
I Divorce is not the "unforgiveable" sin.

Seriously consider this:

At one time, IF YOUR PARENTS WERE NOT MARRIED, you were considered a "bastard", could not serve in the temple, could not inherit anything. Well there are a lot of "illegitimate" Christians, who were not born in wedlock. In your families, perhaps and in your church. In fact 2/3 of your church may be "bastards". Now, those who are really into Scripture: This should really bring the matter home. Deuteronomy 23:2 Quote: "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his 10th generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord". So that would include you, your children, your great grandchildren etc. etc. etc. if you were to apply this. And if any of your children have babies out of wedlock.......none of ya'll could even attend Church! Or do we only apply the scriptures about divorce? Hey, it is in the Bible!
Now if you were born out of wedlock, and we know that the other terms are illegitimate, or "bastard", back in the day....don't stone me....I am only using the term as in the Scriptures to make my point about being a hardliner!

Now since My mother was unwed when she had me, when I read that Scripture, and the way the church folks acted about it...For years, I believed I could not be accepted by God...just because I was illegitimate, a "bastard" and I was stumbled for YEARS!!!!!!! Now, if we are going to held to the one, are we not held to the other, or was it nailed to the cross, and under the blood? And if anyone is a believer and happens to have a baby out of wedlock....WOULD THIS SCRIPTURE apply to your baby? and we won't even get into: Whether or not you were a virgin on your wedding night!Deuteronomy 22:20-21...naw...we are not going to go theRE. RIGHT?




Just some food for thought!

You 'nailed it' Mahalailee ........................'to the cross'.

Jesus nailed it all, to the cross. :heart2:

 

[Shimmie]

Whew....thank you, sis.

Precious Wavy, I learned from you well indeed.... Stay out of the den!!!!

 

[Shimmie]

I just believe that God would not allow divorce AT ALL if getting one meant that you were still married to your ex spouse. What sense does that make?


"I got a divorce but I'm still married to my ex wife." That even sounds stupid.

Come on now.

Forget all of the philosophical hoopla for a second. It's simple logic. If you are divorced, then you are not married. Period.

The fact is - God allows divorce when your spouse cheats on you. Period.

That doesn't mean He likes it, but He does allow it. How many things in your life have you allowed although you weren't too fond of doing so? For me, plenty. So God definitely knows about that...

A divorce means that you are no longer married. Period.

If you are divorced because your spouse cheated on you, then you are single.

If you are single, then you are not married. Period.

If you are not married, then you can get married. Period.

Browndi....you 'cut' it and 'dried' it...Period!

BTW: Thanks for letting me back in here. I was 'scurred'

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Precious Wavy, I learned from you well indeed.... Stay out of the den!!!!

Girl...you know about those dens....

 

[shynessqueen]

I began to feel down too cause it seemed like people's feelings were being hurt when that wasn't my intent. I don't think I was saying anything mean.

I figure it's ok to agree to disagree. I like all of you guys here.

I was the one who started that thread and all I want to know was it true are not. It turned in to something else. I should have known better. You shouldn't feel bad. I'll feel bad for the both of us.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I was the one who started that thread and all I want to know was it true are not. It turned in to something else. I should have known better. You shouldn't feel bad. I'll feel bad for the both of us.

Don't feel bad, shynessqueen. You asked a question, and I find that when you ask that type of question in the OT forum, it goes haywire quickly

How could we know when something that we ask/say will turn out bad? I was in the "PedEgg" thread and it went from good to bad to ugly then back to bad and then funny as heck. In the end, it turned out ok.

I hope you don't feel bad starting another thread like that, but...I hope you find it to start it here in this forum.

Blessings.

 

[Shimmie]

Girl...you know about those dens....

Dey gon' bite ya'....