Does Anyone Else Feel Like They Cant Manage Their Hair Without Heat Or Chemicals?

[YvetteWithJoy]

I really feel you. If I could capture my wet-hair look, I'd be gravy. My shrinkage and tangling is sumpin' serious.

My hair is healthier without chemicals or heat, and that's the only reason I won't use them.

I struggle with my natural hair for the same reasons that @cutiepiebabygirl listed: Very fine, very dense, 4a coily O-shaped hair is just . . . Oooooo: It's hard to put into words what the tangling is like.

I read about people detangling in 15 minutes, detangling without tools, detangling under water, and I'm like: Is something wrong with me? So, I secretly want to invent a way to loosen curl pattern with some kind of applied stuff that is not a BKT or relaxer and allows full reversion.

If I could safely BKT, I would. I'm just scared of it from everything I read on this site. I feel like once my hair is collar-bone length when completely shrunken, I'll be able to manage it MUCH more easily with buns and such.

In the meanwhile, I am excited to try the wavy curlformers I've had for months and months and still haven't tried. That could be a game changer for me were I to figure it out. Also, I haven't tried a set with those bendable rods yet. That might be a game changer as well. Until I've tried these things, I won't go back to chemicals. However, if I can't get to bun-able lengths with natural hair (because breakage ends up resulting from all the handling I do with so much detangling), I'll start looking for some other solution, such as the BKT. Won't hurt to try it at that point. So that's currently where I'm at: Seeing if my natural hair can survive detangling, bypass breakage, and really grow. I struggle with the time-sink of it all, but every month I'm getting better at it all, and that's enouraging.

 

[krissyhair]

Fotki is still around???

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Me
My scalp and my hair were constantly at odds. Scalp liked air, hair hated constant manipulation

 

[Guinan]

Your def not alone. I am tired of my natural hair and I am tired of protective styling.

I hope to go back to relaxers either at the end of this yr or sometime next yr. I still have some old blonde pieces on my ends. I love my natural hair but it is too much darn work and too inconsistent. As far as protective styling, I just feel that if you have to PS 365 days a yr in order to have long hair then maybe it's not for you. I just don't understand having HL hair and only wearing it out one time a yr for a week.

I'm all for DCing, trims and even PS 2-3x's week but sometimes it's just tew much. And this is coming from someone that still does MHM, lol.

For now, I'm stuck at being a short haired natural. If I decide to stay natural; I will def have to be a short-haired one, lol.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

What keratin treatment did you use?
I agree, there are plenty people who are heat trained naturals with long thick healthy looking hair. I really would like a skilled stylist that can help me achieve this.

It was a few years ago, but I believe I was using one by Softliss, the Chocolate one I believe. I tried a few but I think I stuck with that one.

However I'm sure there a ton of new options out there now a days....

 

[Ipanema]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

 

[imaginary]

I feel the same way. Now my hair is super fine and detangling has never been a major issue for me beyond SSKs. The main issue I have is that the textures don't match and then on top of it all my hair is super uneven at the front and some places (*cough* temples) just refuse to grow out. I don't want to relax because my hair just cannot handle relaxers (way too fine) but I wish that it looked better. I'd look into getting keratin treatments but I'm just too afraid of them right now. Twists chew up my hair and my hair is low density so mini-braids have me looking bald.

After the last time I straightened my hair I guess I have heat damage at the ends, but honestly my hair is just so much more manageable in that I get less SSKs and I finally feel like my hair is retaining. I think I'm just gonna keep on straightening every few months, even though I don't wear it straight. I just want to get to the point where the front of my hair isn't this big disaster that I have to manage in order to look presentable.

So yeah, you're definitely not alone. And you've got my vote (not that you even need it) to do whatever the heck you want to your hair, so that you can enjoy it.

 

[whiteoleander91]

I really love my hair but it can be beast sometimes! It's predisposed to be super bushy and poofy. I LOVE the idea of doing soft blowouts every week but my hair is thick enough that blow drying takes a lot of effort. I need to find something that helps hair to dry faster.

Miss @Napp do whatever you need to do for peace of mind.

 

[YaniraNaturally]

I felt that way for a while until my hair grew longer. I wore a lot of headbands with buns (I started with 2 years of transitioned hair) and focused on makeup. My game plan was to twist weekly and the wear the twist-out on the weekend. Imagine my surprise when I realize that my hair can't hold a twist I can laugh now but at the time I was hot because I'm hair lazy. AND I didn't have re-relaxing as an option because relaxers thinned my hair and had me balding!

If texturizing will make styling your hair easier and you happy do it! Plus you can actually see that you had good results in the past. Styling your hair should not be the struggle olympics.

Just to drive home the point that everything ain't for everybody, a lot of posters in this thread don't like air-drying meanwhile I have to air-dry because blowdrying makes my hair feel like a broom.

I also agree on the PS point...more power to those that do but I'd rather wear my hair out and enjoy it 24/7 365 even if that means I don't retain every possible cm.

 

[beingofserenity]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

I love blow drying my hair and I am starting to get the hang of that round brush.

Wow, girl!! You do it every day??? I want to do it once, maybe sometimes twice a week but I was worried it may be too much. Especially since I use high heat lol... we have the same hair type. My hair feels good after blow drying too. It's not long yet though haha. Can you post pics of your hair? Do you get heat damage? I don't caee if my texture loosens up but I don't want it to start looking like spaghetti strings smh.

 

[SlimPickinz]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

Everyday?? What dryer are you using?

 

[Rocky91]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

Please come back here, we need ALLLLLLL the details. what products you use, what kind of magical unicorn DNA you have, etc.

 

[Rocky91]

you gotta do what works for your hair @Napp. hair is meant to be enjoyed!!
i am not a believer in treating my hair with kid gloves. i've never really experienced my natural hair without using some form of heat. i've always blowdried at least monthly. i will never give up heat, for what? my hair will deal. the day my hair cannot handle some heat and some styling is the day i will stick with a bald fade.

 

[locabouthair]

Do what works for you. Hair shouldn't feel like a chore. I stopped doing twistouts because I had to re do them like every other night and it was too much. I think I got breakage from all the manipulation. My signature style now is two cornrows until I find something else.

 

[AmethystLily]

Your def not alone. I am tired of my natural hair and I am tired of protective styling.

I hope to go back to relaxers either at the end of this yr or sometime next yr. I still have some old blonde pieces on my ends. I love my natural hair but it is too much darn work and too inconsistent. As far as protective styling, I just feel that if you have to PS 365 days a yr in order to have long hair then maybe it's not for you. I just don't understand having HL hair and only wearing it out one time a yr for a week.

I'm all for DCing, trims and even PS 2-3x's week but sometimes it's just tew much. And this is coming from someone that still does MHM, lol.

For now, I'm stuck at being a short haired natural. If I decide to stay natural; I will def have to be a short-haired one, lol.

To the bolded: This may sound weird, but I'm actually trying to grow my hair long to be able to experiment with a bigger variety of updos. I've seen a lot of pretty styles on YouTube and other hair forums, but when I try them it's a disaster because my hair at the length it's at now (was nearly APL but I trimmed, so back to just past collarbone length) is too thick and dense (especially when shrunken) for me to do them properly.

I don't like to use a lot of heat (I haven't flat ironed in nearly six years!) but I'll just have to start lightly blow-drying because 1. Stretched hair means fewer tangles for me and 2. Since it's stretched rather than shrunken, it'll compact more without being bulky and I can try more of the styles I want.

 

[CopperRose]

*Raises hand* I'm so hair challenged and with my fine low porosity hair NO natural style looks good. Foam, mouse, low-hold gel, rock hard gel, gel cream, snot the list goes on for stylers that don't give me a voluminous look. Worse yet is the fact that I have every texture from 3a - 4a which means that mini twists lay weird and shrink to different lengths. Only style I can reliably wear is a bun and I have a round face so not that cute :/

I would pay VERY good money to a knowledgeable gentle stylist who could straighten my hair every 2 months or do a good bkt. Anything so I can ignore my hair and focus on my studies!

 

[Aggie]

I.completely.feel.you.!
I'm in a weird space, I have a head full of heat damage and as a result have cut my hair off into a short bob. Personally, right now I feel I look better when my hair is flat ironed and straight even though it's short. My twist outs lack the volume and poofiness from my regular natural hair. Even before this debacle, I find my hair to be too restricting in the sense that my life and movements are based around my twist out 'setting.'

Ideally, when I went natural my goal was to wear my hair straight about 1/2 the time. The issue with my hair is it's inability to remain straight and smooth. My roots puff out incredibly easily and my hair can puff and revert before I reach the end of the block if it's warm out. Idk if it's the products or the stylists, I think it's my hair. My hair has a hard time remaining straight, the roots always poof up and kills the look the of straightened hair style. Idk if I'd need a keratin treatment or what? I do know I need a skilled stylist. I need HELP. I am growing my hair out and I'm not really hell bent on being a kinky natural. I could see myself with longer hair that looks texlaxed and that way I have the ease of putting it in a bun, air drying it, doing more. But this restriction and aesthetic is driving me crazy. What I have no desire to do ever again is relax. Keratin treatments could be an option, but Idk which one is good. I tried design essentials when I was transitioning and I can't say that helped all too much. Plus I need a skilled stylist to apply it. That's another issue.

I also know myself, while I admire LOTS of natural do's with the flexi rods and perm rods, I don't have one desire at all to take the time and do that. I'm freaking tired of spending money on products. I just bought a set of Mane Choice products, some cantu stuff yesterday and I don't like either of them. I like being able to wash my hair, slick it in a bun, air dry, maybe add some clip ins if it's straight. If it's summertime, I can see myself washing twice weekly and rocking a poofy bun with smooth edges or doing a big braid out at night and taking my hair down in the morning. But what I have going on right now is just way too restricting any annoying.

Holy crap @Britt! Get outta my head

This is me all over.

I do texlax my hair and I am extremely style challenged so I don't bother. I simply wear a wig when I want to look cute. I was just thinking about changing this though - getting to know my hair and wear her out and show her off more. I just haven't mustered up the energy I need to make this thought and desire an actual reality .

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

Wait, did you mean every weekend or everyday? How do you get away with it?

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I blow dry my hair every morning, and wear my hair down every day. I'm natural 4b, and my haircare is a breeze. It's long and healthy, and I get lots of compliments from random people when I'm out and about.

Heat seems to soften and condition my hair. Air-drying makes my hair feel like sticks and rocks. Learn techniques that are compatible with your unique hair texture, and it will be so easy.

@Ipanema

We need more details!

 

[locabouthair]

do you guys experience dryness with the heat? Whenever I blow dry my hair gets SO dry. Even if I use cool air . I don't flat iron.

 

[Britt]

Holy crap @Britt! Get outta my head

This is me all over.

I do texlax my hair and I am extremely style challenged so I don't bother. I simply wear a wig when I want to look cute. I was just thinking about changing this though - getting to know my hair and wear her out and show her off more. I just haven't mustered up the energy I need to make this thought and desire an actual reality .

After I posted in this thread I went home and tried to do a rollerset with the ethiopian rollers and pins, that was a fail. Then I tried to blow dry my hair... fail. I ended up washing and doing a twist out. I'm gonna get a weave this wknd, I hope it looks good and keeps me out my head for a while.

 

[Ipanema]

@Ipanema

We need more details!

I think having locs in the past helped me realize that my hair didn't need to be protected so much. I don't even use conditioner. I wash with Head & Shoulders shampoo, and apply coconut oil. Then I blow dry it by holding the end taut and going slowly from root to end. At that point, it is stretched, and I can do whatever to it. In the mornings, it gets damp in the shower, so I use the blow dryer to dry & stretch it and make the hair fall in the direction I want it to go.

The only thing is, I try not to ever use a comb. With stretched hair, shed strands fall out easier without getting knotted up into the other hair.

I also use a bonnet dryer sometimes.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

I think having locs in the past helped me realize that my hair didn't need to be protected so much. I don't even use conditioner. I wash with Head & Shoulders shampoo, and apply coconut oil. Then I blow dry it by holding the end taut and going slowly from root to end. At that point, it is stretched, and I can do whatever to it. In the mornings, it gets damp in the shower, so I use the blow dryer to dry & stretch it and make the hair fall in the direction I want it to go.

The only thing is, I try not to ever use a comb. With stretched hair, shed strands fall out easier without getting knotted up into the other hair.

I also use a bonnet dryer sometimes.

You don't use conditioner?!? What is happening?!? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone

 

[LStreeter]

@Ipanema How do you style your hair typically?

 

[Evolving78]

do you guys experience dryness with the heat? Whenever I blow dry my hair gets SO dry. Even if I use cool air . I don't flat iron.

I do when my hair was off balance. I was dealing with dryness anyway, and the deep conditioner that you use does make a huge difference. Using conditioners with no cones, then blow drying isn't it for me. Do you use a serum before you blow dry an a leave-in spray?

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I think having locs in the past helped me realize that my hair didn't need to be protected so much. I don't even use conditioner. I wash with Head & Shoulders shampoo, and apply coconut oil. Then I blow dry it by holding the end taut and going slowly from root to end. At that point, it is stretched, and I can do whatever to it. In the mornings, it gets damp in the shower, so I use the blow dryer to dry & stretch it and make the hair fall in the direction I want it to go.

The only thing is, I try not to ever use a comb. With stretched hair, shed strands fall out easier without getting knotted up into the other hair.

I also use a bonnet dryer sometimes.

I hear you! When I blow dry my hair weekly, I use one of those special towels (the DevaCurl one) to absorb most of the water so my hair isnt soaking wet, add tiny bit of serum or leave in, and use the tension method most of the way. I still use the Wet brush for curly hair to smooth my ends but the majority of my hair I stretch/straighten with just my hands. And then during the week after my workouts, I make sure I add a lil serum/etc and re-dry my damp roots so I wont have the crazy two texture tangly mess going on. Seems to be working....!

Now going without conditioner, I haven't dabbled in them waters yet *holds conditioner bottle tightly*

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I do when my hair was off balance. I was dealing with dryness anyway, and the deep conditioner that you use does make a huge difference. Using conditioners with no cones, then blow drying isn't it for me. Do you use a serum before you blow dry an a leave-in spray?

This. I only experience dryness with heat when Im experiencing dryness period. All goes back to a good DC.

Silicones are not always the enemy lol. Sometimes they have your back.

ETA: Great vid about the same topic:

 

[Evolving78]

This. I only experience dryness with heat when Im experiencing dryness period. All goes back to a good DC.

Silicones are not always the enemy lol. Sometimes they have your back.

ETA: Great vid about the same topic:

Especially with heat styling. Everybody ran from cones, since you couldn't do the curly girl method/cowashing.
Cones aren't bad. You just have to wash your hair and watch the amount of other products you use.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Especially with heat styling. Everybody ran from cones, since you couldn't do the curly girl method/cowashing.
Cones aren't bad. You just have to wash your hair and watch the amount of other products you use.

 

[locabouthair]

I do when my hair was off balance. I was dealing with dryness anyway, and the deep conditioner that you use does make a huge difference. Using conditioners with no cones, then blow drying isn't it for me. Do you use a serum before you blow dry an a leave-in spray?

Yeah I was using a heat protectant. It might just be my hair.

I have to check if my conditioner has cones.