Dull dry and breaking - ugh i don't think i can do this anymore (RANT)

[Crissi]

My hair is doing my head in, i only have a inch of it and it is the dullest, dryest,coarsest hair ever. I've done all i can, wash, clarfiy, deep condition everything, co wash and it's just acting it up! I wnat to just shave it all off again, i want healthy hair first and foremost, i've being in this hair game since around 02' and i still cannot get it right erplexed . My hair laughs at everything, if not straight away it will eventually. I have 4a/b hair that is excessively coarse, i am out of ideas, if it is acting up like this with 1 inch of hair how is it going to act any better longer? Even when i wash it is breaks, i just want to cry! I've never had long hair and at this rate i just feel like i never will! Then i see my cousin who started growing his hair around the same time as mine, are hair is basically identical and even though his has no product in it, it isn't acting like mine! And if i leave mine with no product in what so ever it just breaks and sheds. Im lost i just don't feel like i can do this, why is it so hard for me to get long natural hair? I just feel so unmotivated i don't even bother taking my vitamins anymore or anything...

Sowwy i just had to release my rant

 

[♦K.O♦]

Sorry to hear about your hair issues.

Are your shampoos too harsh? Maybe the problem isnt in your products, but your practices?

Do you brush often? Is your pillowcase satin or silk (as opposed to cotton, which is drying)?

 

[Crissi]

I try and keep washing to a minimum every 7-10 days and i make sure i stay away from shampoos that contain detergents. I moisturize daily and wear a doorag to sleep. I also clarify when necessary to rid the build-up,i don't brush and i use a seamless comb. Thats why i can't understand whats going wrong, everything only works when to a certain extent

Sorry to hear about your hair issues.

Are your shampoos too harsh? Maybe the problem isnt in your products, but your practices?

Do you brush often? Is your pillowcase satin or silk (as opposed to cotton, which is drying)?

 

[♦K.O♦]

Hmmmm. Maybe you need more omega 3s? Sorry I cant be of more assistance.

 

[chica_canella]

I really want to help you. Have you tried doing a strand test to test your elasticity?

Are you taking any hair supplements with your multi-vitamin?

I will suggest some Suave Humectress conditioner for you to use as a moisturizer. I will go to a local dollar store and find a bottle where i can send some to you. This is the only thing I've found to truly moisturize my hair besides Sunsilk tlc Hydra Creme. But Suave is the cheapest.

 

[chica_canella]

What do you moisturize with? Have you checked the ingredients? It might not be good for your hair type.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

I would say check the ingredients on the products you are using. You might need to go to something that is 100% natural. Maybe your moisturizer is not working for you and you might need to switch to something else. If your hair is breaking, that means that your protein and moisture balance is off. Do you do protein treatments every now and then? How often do you DC? Are you sealing your moisturizers with some sort of oil?

That is all that I can think of that could possibly help. I am so sorry that you are going through this

 

[SerenityBreeze]

Have you tried baggying your entire head at night? Perhaps an overnight moisturizing will do the trick.

 

[SouthernTease]

Have you tried baggying your entire head at night? Perhaps an overnight moisturizing will do the trick.

Cosigning!!! I was just gonna suggest that.

 

[Evolving78]

I cowash daily and I just started using Stay-So-Fro Rub On. I use this with Fantasia gel (the blue one). I cowash with Suave strawberry and I use Creme of Nature shampoo (green one once a week) I clarify twice a month and deep condition twice a month. I don't really comb or brush my hair at this length and I apply products when my hair is damp. I really like how that Stay-So-Fro makes my hair soft. Try cowashing with a thick cremy conditioner and shampoo weekly. Also use S-curl or Care-free curl products to get some moisture in. That might work.

 

[Evolving78]

My hair is doing my head in, i only have a inch of it and it is the dullest, dryest,coarsest hair ever. I've done all i can, wash, clarfiy, deep condition everything, co wash and it's just acting it up! I wnat to just shave it all off again, i want healthy hair first and foremost, i've being in this hair game since around 02' and i still cannot get it right erplexed . My hair laughs at everything, if not straight away it will eventually. I have 4a/b hair that is excessively coarse, i am out of ideas, if it is acting up like this with 1 inch of hair how is it going to act any better longer? Even when i wash it is breaks, i just want to cry! I've never had long hair and at this rate i just feel like i never will! Then i see my cousin who started growing his hair around the same time as mine, are hair is basically identical and even though his has no product in it, it isn't acting like mine! And if i leave mine with no product in what so ever it just breaks and sheds. Im lost i just don't feel like i can do this, why is it so hard for me to get long natural hair? I just feel so unmotivated i don't even bother taking my vitamins anymore or anything...

Sowwy i just had to release my rant

Your hair is growing though, you just need moisture.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I went throught the same thing.
First of all look at your diet. Are you getting enough healthy oils; flax seed, olive oil, fresh fish/fish oil caps and avocado. Insufficient levels in your diet can results in dry, brittle hair. In addition make sure you have enough protein in your diet, hair needs protein to be strong.

As for topical issues, you have to find the perfect routine for your hair. It took me a long time to discover what worked for me hair. Experiement with different moisture-protein balances. In the meantime invest in a softening oil like Kemi Oyl or Amla, that was a life saver for me while I worked on my routine.
Have you tried incorporating moisturizing pretreatments? Maybe jojoba oil mixed with conditioner.

 

[sareca]

That's how my hair acts when I strip it of oil. Dilute those poos and pre-poo with oil before every wash.

ETA: Do a search for ceramides. That might help you out as well.

 

[cutiebe2]

1. baggy the whole head! Its true that it works!!!

2. wait until your hair growns at least 2 more inches before you make drastic decisions.....since you don't have a lot of hair now you may jump to conclusions. Sometimes when my hair first comes out my head it has a horrible feeling, but after a few weeks/months its better

 

[chica_canella]

I agree with all the above posts. Let me know if you want me to send you that conditioner to Crissi.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I just hope you stay encouraged. We know your hair is growing and that's great news. We just got to figure out how to keep it from breaking. Once you find what works for you, you'll be good to go!!! And that's great to look forward to.

 

[shocol]

Hmmmm. Maybe you need more omega 3s? Sorry I cant be of more assistance.

IA...try some flax seed oil for internal moisturizing while you figure out what works for your hair externally.

 

[tkj25]

I definitely feel you. Step one: stay encouraged. you did the right thing by coming here, to vent and get some help. Be encouraged, your hair is growing. You just gotta find the best way for you to retain that growth.

If your hair is breaking while shampooing, you might have to drop the shampoo completey -- i know i did. You've got to narrow down what's drying out your hair. Growing up i was told i had the coarsest, driest hair too, but with the proper care any hair type is manageable, and will grow. My regime has taken care of my hair's shortcomings and allowed it to thrive. It's still growing out -- i shaved my hair off almost a year and a half ago from a texturizer -- but it's definitely the healthiest my hair has ever been. it is soft, hydrated, and tangle free, even in its twa state.

My regime is 3 steps, wms:

wet: (water, weekly conditioner wash)
no-poos -- suave humectress, awapuhi, or biobasics, or tresemme vit. e. ...

moisturise: (humectant, daily moisture spray)
wave nouveau finishing lotion, african pride braid sheen spray, care free gold ...

seal: (botanical, weekly leave-in)
aussie moist, trader joe's nourish spa, garnier fructis curl & shine, aubrey organics rose mosqueta, gpb or white camellia, aphogee intensive keratin reconstructor, sally's generic value products (sgvp) concentrated leave-in treatment, sgvp detangler, sgvp smoothing conditioner, nzinga herbal hair lotion ...

i basically follow a modified no-oil regime. any oils/butters i use are in cream form, blended in with a humectant, botanical product. otherwise they just sit on my hair.

i can't stress enough keeping a positive mindset. be encouraged that by learning how to manage your inch of hair, that's going to allow you to manage every inch of growth thereafter -- this is a blessing, not a curse.

If you focus on self-defeating thoughts "Im lost i just don't feel like i can do this," you'll re-inforce those thoughts with self-defeating behavior "I just feel so unmotivated i don't even bother taking my vitamins anymore or anything". Take your vitamins. Eat healthier foods. Stay encouraged. I can't emphasize this enough. Focus on what you're doing right. Focus on what is working and do more of it. Yes your cousin's hair is growing, but yours is too. Focus on the positive things that are coming out of your head. The fact that you chose to bc and grow healthy, long hair is a good step. Focus on that. Mistakes will be made, trial & error is part of the process, but it's about how you look at, and react to those trials that makes the difference. hth

 

[coconow2007]

dont give up - moisturize more and try some hot oil treatments

 

[Seeking8Rights]

My hair is doing my head in, i only have a inch of it and it is the dullest, dryest,coarsest hair ever. I've done all i can, wash, clarfiy, deep condition everything, co wash and it's just acting it up! I wnat to just shave it all off again, i want healthy hair first and foremost, i've being in this hair game since around 02' and i still cannot get it right erplexed . My hair laughs at everything, if not straight away it will eventually. I have 4a/b hair that is excessively coarse, i am out of ideas, if it is acting up like this with 1 inch of hair how is it going to act any better longer? Even when i wash it is breaks, i just want to cry! I've never had long hair and at this rate i just feel like i never will! Then i see my cousin who started growing his hair around the same time as mine, are hair is basically identical and even though his has no product in it, it isn't acting like mine! And if i leave mine with no product in what so ever it just breaks and sheds. Im lost i just don't feel like i can do this, why is it so hard for me to get long natural hair? I just feel so unmotivated i don't even bother taking my vitamins anymore or anything...

Sowwy i just had to release my rant

Crissi, I understand where you are coming from because when I first came to Italy (different water than the US), I had the same experience.

Don't cut your hair, let it grow out so you can see if anything changes at at a different length.

First, it's the hard water here in Europe that is a killer for our hair. So, to combat this use bottled water to wash and rinse your hair.

Second, start taking essential fatty acids and vitamin E as a supplement. EFA's help with hair elasticity.

Start drinking the Seven Wonders Drink and after a few weeks you will see your breakage/shedding reduce. You will also notice a difference in your hair as it will feel and look stronger. PM me for the recipe.

Make sure are drinking at least 1.5 Liters of water a day.

Try to use an organic/natural shampoos like Giovanni Direct. When I was natural as an early teen, my mom used only shampoos and conditioners from the health food store. A raw egg was my protein treatments with EVOO deep conditioned under a heating cap for an hour.

For a clarify try Nexxus Aloe Rid Shampoo. Use a dime size and shampoo before you use your regular moisturizing poo.

I would stop co washing unless you are using bottled water. To me co-washing is asking for build up (but I guess it works for some).

Oh, and don't wash your hair with HOT water. Doing so, will cause your hair cuticle to peal and your natural oils will run out, which will cause dryness. So just wash with luke warm water and rinse with luke warm or cold. Bottled water is never hot, it's room temperature so this is your best option.

Also, start back taking your vit's. Vitamins are an essential part of good health and hair. Let me know if you would like me to help in any way. Do you have a fotki? (iIm typing so I can't see if you do). If you do, if you like you can add me as a friend and we can encourage each others progress.

I know this hair thing can be discouraging at time, but try not to focus on a particular length right now, just let your hair grow, take care of it and love it for it's texture not for it's length. **Hugs**

 

[guesswho]

If you haven't tried it get tresemme conditioner and use it on dry hair and then rinse after rinsing add more con and rinse again, stay away from shampoos after I shampoo which is with aveda dr because its soo moisturizing I have to whole head baggy with some of my most moisturizing products for days to get back my softness, shampoo on some natural hair is a no no, try using natural clarifying methods like baking soda and warm water I can't use clarifying poo my hair feels like straw, hth

 

[Crissi]

hey everyone thank you for the advice. I think your al right, i need to stay positive, find some good moisturizers and conditioners and stay far away from shampoo. I'll leave my hair to grow, i spoke to my bf about it and he also said i should just leave it, it will get better. Thank you once again!

 

[schipperchow1]

Be encouraged...You've gotten some good recommendations from other posters.

It sounds like a lack of moisture...try a pre-poo w/an oil or butter of your choice...maybe avocado & hemp butter w/a warm wet towel reheated a few times for up to an hour or use the butters to seal in moisture.

If the water in the UK is as hard as in Paris, I think you will have to shampoo. CON didn't work for me well there. Perhaps phyto vital creme shampoo will work...it is very moisturizing but has the surfactants.

HTH...HHG

 

[BrownSkin2]

Whole head baggying with castor oil helped me tremendously when I first went natural. I, like you, my hair was very hard, breaking, and felt like a brillo pad. Hope you find a good regime and things improve for you soon.

 

[Jaegermany]

I really want to help you. Have you tried doing a strand test to test your elasticity?

Are you taking any hair supplements with your multi-vitamin?

I will suggest some Suave Humectress conditioner for you to use as a moisturizer. I will go to a local dollar store and find a bottle where i can send some to you. This is the only thing I've found to truly moisturize my hair besides Sunsilk tlc Hydra Creme. But Suave is the cheapest.

That is sooo adorable!

 

[cabellera]

Great advice and encouragement in this thread!

 

[Miss*Tress]

hey everyone thank you for the advice. I think your al right, i need to stay positive, find some good moisturizers and conditioners and stay far away from shampoo. I'll leave my hair to grow, i spoke to my bf about it and he also said i should just leave it, it will get better. Thank you once again!

Many of my family members in the UK have the same problems as you with their hair. Based on what I have observed of their lifestyles, I definitely think you might want to assess your diet as some of the other posters suggested.

Be sure to get sufficient proteins, poly- and mono-unsaturated fats, fruits, vegetables, and water. Stay away from refined foods like those yummy looking fried dumplings in your avatar and sugary drinks. Try replacing one or two cups of sweet, milky English-brewed tea with unsweetened green tea each day.

Even though you're slim, not eating properly can take a toll on hair. (You probably know this already, so bear with me for the repetition - just trying to be helpful.)

Good luck!

 

[Poohbear]

Crissi, maybe you're doing too much to your hair. When my hair was your length, I just co-wash or water rinse daily. I sometimes applied jojoba oil or nothing at all. I didn't clarify, shampoo, or deep condition when my hair was that short. So basically leaving it alone and not using a lot of products will help.

 

[justNikki]

When I first BC'ed to less than an inch, the first 3 inches of hair that grew were hella unruly and very wiry= scab hair. I noticed around month 4 that my texture felt softer. I cut off a little of that at a time as I did what poohbear suggested, just rinse and apply a little oil or leave-in moisturizer without cones (because you're not pooing). Soon enough, I had a whole head full of hair that was strong and well moisturized.

I don't follow a no-cone/no poo routine now, but in the beginning, when you're working to get your hair in shape, I honestly think it's the best route to take.

 

[Averoigne]

Crissi, I think the ladies who mentioned that you might have hard water are onto something. I have hard water and it sometimes renders even the most moisturizing products useless. Chelating shampoo, baking soda, or ACV might help.