A fleck on His Sword
Interesting... Now, in my home, DH is the main breadwinner, but I control the finances. I think it is about flowing into what we were designed to do, not how we think things should go. The story of Abigail and how David (and Nathan the prophet) treated Bathsheba when David was old come to mind.No easy feat to get people to understand this. In Genesis, when God speaks about creating them both male and female, He's not talking about two separate people. He means that, the man has both male and female characteristics and the woman also has male and female characteristics. Obviously, there is a dominant one for each one, which determines whether you are a man or a woman. Within a household, it's important to use discernment, in order to figure out which way to go. If you're always too stern with the children, it will shut them down to the point of them no longer wanting to confide in you. May even make it so that, they leave home earlier, once they reach the age of 18 or so. If you use too much grace, as many single parent households headed by women do, you risk not imparting enough discipline in your children.
From an African viewpoint, as the Bible was written between Asia - Europe and Africa, it's very detrimental to male - female relationships. Only a few ones who have adhered to their authentic culture, are able to survive. A lot of men, who have adopted the mentality of the West, are struggling. Samuel L. Jackson and his wife are celebrating 40 years of marriage. They attended HBCUs. He once said that in the beginning of their relationship, whoever was able to bring in the bacon, simply did so. Gender didn't play a role at all. Same thing with my mom and even my pastor, who are in their 40s-60s. Nowadays the whole responsibilities of the finances is coming to fall on the shoulders of the man and it's wreaking havoc. Proverbs 31 clearly states that the woman was also involved in commerce.
Barack Obama and Jay-Z once met up and started joking, stating that their wives are more popular than they are. Neither one of them had a problem with that. That is authentic African culture. I remember when Ben Affleck started dating Jennifer Lopez, my sister's bf at the time, who is Congolese, said: "That ain't gone last." We were baffled and were wondering why not? Lo and behold, a few months later, they broke up. Who did he get as a wife? An actress who now pretty much just functions as a housewife. Same as his best friend Matt Damon. In fact, if you look at all of the White actresses in Hollywood, they all disappear as soon as they start forming a family. This is what Beyoncé is singing about in her song 'Black Parade'. They look at her and wonder: "How does she do it? With these 3 children?!". But that is the African mindset. Because we are drifting away from that, it's working to our detriment.
Another thought comes to mind: when Jew and gentile come together to form "one new man." Human have trouble with finding a balance; it's either "all or nothing" or compromise. We need the Spirit's guidance in achieving balance without getting caught up in the world and its worries. Unfortunately, it's easy to stay in the extremes for balance takes work to get and maintain.