Feeling Betrayed

Renaylor

Active Member
My family and I moved to the suburbs a year ago from the city. My main goal within the timeframe of moving was to find a permanent church home for my family. I have not had good fortune with most churchs. There was always politics involved and seemed so segregated. My DH who works for a utility company and has a doctorate, masters and seems to know everyone joined my sons Lutheran Church and school about 5 years ago. He was highly regarded. I was not a Christian or active church member but wanted my children to receive a grounded Christian education. My DH was also a member of the school council. Needless to say I was shut out and my DH did nothing to encourage me to get involved or be encouraging period. The church and school due to the greed of key members of the church was promptly closed amid scandal of extortion amongst other things. My son was sent to another Lutheran school to continue his education. We did not formally join that church-I think the prior one left a bed taste in DH mouth. However at my sons new school he was also well known and highly regarded. A couple of years later I became a Christian and we moved to the burbs. I found a church home within months of moving. It happened to be the first one I picked. The warmth and love I received from the congregation and our Pastor was phenomenal. Church politics seemed a thing of the past. I thought to myself-Maybe I can find a niche somewhere because I always felt like an outsider-my DH has a lot of friends.I knew this was the church we were to stay with.
My DH is not a Christian however-he was raised in the church but has not accepted Christ as his savior- in the past he had not treated me well and at the time since I was not a Christian I did not treat him any better. We have overcome a lot of hurdles and my DH has his ways about him and he can still be frustrating but I am trying to lead him to Christ.We had Christians friend over the other night and ironically the topic of church politics came up again. I always believed the church would reward its own in some fashion but I also was raised on "its not what you do but who you know" or " how many credentials do you have?" principle. My DH was asked to join the choir at our church and again everyone seems to be won over by my DH charisma. I tried not to let it bother me and maintain a good attitude but after being overshadowed the same way at work by one charismatic young lady and having the same thing happen at my own church I am reaching a "tired of this point". I went to the supermarket today with DD and when we returned my DH had a phone call from one of the church members asking DH if he would serve as Church Council President. He was told he was held in high regard by the Pastor and other church members. My DH declined the offer stating personal reasons(he has multiple obligations that have to be tended to first). I was floored. I congratulated him and encouraged him to serve but an overwhelming sadness came over me. I felt used. I felt has if the church only wanted my DH to be a part and not me. I never wanted a church position just a place to feel needed like I could do something meaningful. I began to doubt my abilities. I went into the bathroom to cry out all of my misery amounting to years of being unappreciated both at work and home-I did not let my family see my sadness. All I want to do is fit in and to serve. I see so many members of the church involved in a lot of things. I don't dare ask to do any task-many of them have been doing these spots for years and I don't want to impose myself. I am not asking for anything that is not my due -I just want to be a part of something that has positively impacted my life. DH suspects something is wrong- he senses how quiet I am-I don't dare say anything because he will just brush it off as me being ridiculous.
I feel let down-I just don't understand this or know what to do. Doesn't God want me to be a part of something too?
 
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PinkPebbles

Well-Known Member
I want to give you a big hug :bighug:. YES, God wants you to be a part of his spiritual family:yep:.

Just like our physical body have different parts to function with a purpose, the same goes with the Body of Christ. We all have different gifts and talents to be used for the kingdom of God; and every last one of them are important.

Do you know what ministry you would like to serve in at your church? If yes, have you reached out to anyone in that particular ministry to express your interest?
 

Renaylor

Active Member
I am not sure where I fit in yet-that is the problem I am still trying to figure it out. Our Pastor reached out to me about this same thing a few weeks ago and maybe he has something planned for me- I just don't know.
 

PinkPebbles

Well-Known Member
I am not sure where I fit in yet-that is the problem I am still trying to figure it out. Our Pastor reached out to me about this same thing a few weeks ago and maybe he has something planned for me- I just don't know.

Ok. If your Pastor reached out to you then it's possible that he does have something for you.

Take your time to explore the different ministries at your church. Attend some of their events and meetings to get a feel for them; that way you will have a better chance in knowing which one best suite you.

If God led you to this church then I'm quite sure He has something for you to do. In due time it will be revealed to you. In the meantime, keep your head up and stay encouraged!

ETA: And please do not allow anyone to intimidate you or make you feel less than anything. It's never about 'us' but about God. If it wasn't for God's grace and mercy none of us would be where we're at today.
 
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