I totally agree with everything you've said. However I don't agree soo much with the above statement, and this seems to be an idea that resonates with a lot of folks here that can be quite confusing for some.
I wash/DC/Flat iron my hair 1-2x a week. I've been doing this since the start of my hair journey and have tried doing other methods to see what works for me, but I always seem to go back to my wash/DC/flat iron, it's quick and easy and my hair seems healthy afterwards... I've been doing it long enough to have seen damage already if I was doing a bad thing to my hair, instead my hair has really been thriving and I'm retaining length. I couldn't even fathom NOT washing 2x a week just because I want to maintain a straight style. I think what's really important with the heat issue is to make sure your tools are of high quality and then to be even more diligent about moisture/protein balance, use heat protectant, and the upkeep there after... If you continue to focus on the moisture level of your hair (since heat can be drying) you'll actually come out ok... I don't always go crazy with heat protectants either, I don't like weighed down hair, but I do use some however and I always use leave-ins as well before applying any heat to my hair...
I still think though DBO's is a form of heat that can be extremely damaging if done often, because again you have no control of the amount of heat being used, products, and manipulation.... I hardly loose any hair when I flat iron on wash day...