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Florida Mother Charged With The Murder Of Her Autistic Son

Kanky

Well-Known Member
I am not deciding, we do ALL of those things too(besides horse riding) since we are in quarantine we havent and it isnt the end of the world. We are fine without going out to socialize too. I know families that dont do half of those things in normal times and I think it is a bit much to call them dysfunctional. Some people dont have stable families and friends to be around. Tis all.

:lachen: But not having stable families and friends is dysfunctional!
 

dancinstallion

Well-Known Member
:lachen: But not having stable families and friends is dysfunctional!

Laugh all you want. I know many people and introverts that prefer to be by themselves. some people dont have family and friends to depend on and I refuse to call them dysfunctional because that is out of their control. You cant make new non toxic family members and it is hard making new friends for some people. I know PLENTY of adults that say it is hard making friends as an adult. It is called life for those people. Some people want different family member and to make new friends but cant.
I refuse to laugh about it or call it dysfunctional but I am glad you are able to.
 

metro_qt

Well-Known Member
themselves. some people dont have family and friends to depend on and I refuse to call them dysfunctional because that is out of their control. You cant make new non toxic family members and it is hard making new friends for some people. I know PLENTY of adults that say it is hard making friends as an adult. It is called life for those people. Some people want different family member and to make new friends but cant.
I refuse to laugh about it or call it dysfunctional but I am glad you are able to.

THIS is very true
 

Jmartjrmd

Well-Known Member
Laugh all you want. I know many people and introverts that prefer to be by themselves. some people dont have family and friends to depend on and I refuse to call them dysfunctional because that is out of their control. You cant make new non toxic family members and it is hard making new friends for some people. I know PLENTY of adults that say it is hard making friends as an adult. It is called life for those people. Some people want different family member and to make new friends but cant.
I refuse to laugh about it or call it dysfunctional but I am glad you are able to.
I can really relate to this
I spent most of my time with my husband and was fine with that but now that he's passed away the lonley hit like a line of 18 wheelers running me over.
Most of our friends are scattered across the US and it's very easy when you life is so busy already to maintain distant friendships especially if you weren't that close to begin with. I get it.
My social group here Li feel like had a more vested interest in my husband. I feel like I'm likeable but maybe not as much as I thought to our core group of friends. I tell you it does a number on your mental health.
It is very hard at my age to make new friends. My best friend is gone forever.
 

Kanky

Well-Known Member
Laugh all you want. I know many people and introverts that prefer to be by themselves. some people dont have family and friends to depend on and I refuse to call them dysfunctional because that is out of their control. You cant make new non toxic family members and it is hard making new friends for some people. I know PLENTY of adults that say it is hard making friends as an adult. It is called life for those people. Some people want different family member and to make new friends but cant.
I refuse to laugh about it or call it dysfunctional but I am glad you are able to.

I was laughing at the idea that it is not dysfunctional. Whether or not someone or something is dysfunctional has nothing to do with how much control you have over it.

dysfunctional -
  1. not operating normally or properly.
    "the telephones are dysfunctional"
    • deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.
      "an emotionally dysfunctional businessman"

We started this conversation talking about children. Children should have friends and playmates. That is normal. Again if children don't notice or care about not being able to play with other children then something dysfunctional is going on. A lot of parents use not being able to go out and play with friends as a punishment for bad behavior. If a child's normal life looks punishment for most kids then what would you call that. :look:

It seems that we agree that the situation is less than ideal but you don't like the word that I chose?
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
I found the number of people freaking out and exasperated about having to care for their own children while schools are closed, to be strange and alarming.
Its been pandemonium in the moms groups. I was able to send my kids to school. I totally get it. But I like them coming home earlier and they get to sleep in as well. So for my babies, its nice. More work on me, but our family just moves differently now.
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
^^^IKR?? I also laughed at folks posting about how exasperated they are minding their own kids. Like #howsway these are your pickney!
I now just count my blessings and thank GOD for my bad a$$ed kids. All I have to do is feed them and check their school work. I was already "friends" with their teachers and school admins. The second an assignment is missing or somebody doesn't log in or attend a scheduled conference call I'm getting a text, a phone call an email or an alert on Google Classroom or Class Dojo.
I will pray for the children of the world that have to suffer through incapable parenting. Especially at this unprecedented time in our lives.
And the kids subject to abuse (edited to add: and hunger. Being in school was their 6 hours of peace, ability to be a kid, and to get a semi-nutritious meal, or A MEAL).
I work in the community and resources are stretched. The people who work those emergency phone lines are shell shocked at the spike in child and domestic violence calls since COVID-19.
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
No, I don’t have kids. Maybe my perspective would be different if I did. But the two ladies who replied above you seem to agree with me, and they do have children, so maybe not...

This is a stressful and unusual situation for everyone. But yes, you have to manage this stressful and unusual situation with YOUR kids. Members of YOUR family, that you created.

Imo, the reasons for the intense freak outs (no school, no nanny, no museum, etc), don’t change the fact that the reality of it is alarming. People have no clue what to do with their own kids for more than a weekend without outside help. Because I’m not a parent, I didn’t know that was the case. People were seriously, not just Twitter joking, but seriously demanding and petitioning the state to reopen schools, and put them damn kids back in there, at the height of a global pandemic. o_O Something is not right.
No you're right. Like it was said up thread, most of us are off our usual square, adjusting, and moving differently. But no, MANY MANY parents (and I work with parents of pre-school aged kids, and babies), DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING and AINT HAVE NO BUSINESS PROCREATING or MAKING MORE THAN THE 1.
Its really a whole nother thread. Remember, parents of today different than when our parents were having kids in the 70's, 80's, 90's.....I run into parents of all backgrounds, ages who are addicted to the internet, and zone out from their kids, play videogames 1/2 the day, they have little to NO cooking skills, are not active themselves, and are juggling their own learning or social disability (but they slid by enough to finish HS, even college--I taught a few autistic college students) and are functioning in society based on the routines they know and have established. Many were one disaster away from the bottom dropping out. Now there is COVID-19 and this economic recession. I joke about being first in line when school opens but I really am considering a partial schedule if offered.
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
I am amazed by how little compassion there is for parents and children.

I’ve not seen very many people who seriously want schools to open back up in the pandemic. Most of the posts about ending the lockdowns on twitter are just bots and almost everyone supports the lockdown and a gradual reopening.

People are having a hard time educating their children while working from home. The difficulty varies based on the age of and number children and the type of work being done. Anyone who actually has work to do while caring for a toddler has my sympathy because toddlers don’t care about your work or your zoom meeting. :lol:

My oldest is a teenager. He is less work during the lockdown than he is during normal times.

Families are not meant to be completely independent little groups that have no community support or interaction. Neurotypical people want to socialize with folks outside of their houses. I am not going to risk my life and health over it, but children are suffering for lack of same age playmates and loneliness is also bad for health. I am really glad that I don’t have lonely only kids and that they at least have each other to play with.

It is normal to get tired of your kids and want a break, just like it is normal to get tired of your spouse and and want some time to yourself. You don’t become a bad wife because you want a girls night and you don’t become a bad parent because you want someone other than yourself to take of your kids for a while.

People are not bad, incapable parents because they are struggling in this pandemic.
A lot of the parents here have a cetain political sway and they are threatening to disenroll all their children from public school if they are only offering a remote or virtual option. Many are super tired and think that the rest of us are overreacting. They also say if school opens up they're not sending them to school with "masks that will kill their kid" bc they wont be able to breathe. I live in Florida too....so...there is that. But these moms are reporting to be tired. Some are being exposed as well, and I'm hoping that's few and far between. But many parents have kids on varying places on the spectrum, or have 1 or more impediments and long term school closures is not even a realistic, healthy or viable option for these kids. Many parents in rural areas are at, just above, or below poverty level so their ability to work is severely compromised. Thus their ability to feed, care, and clothe their families.
 

Lylddlebit

Well-Known Member
I can really relate to this
I spent most of my time with my husband and was fine with that but now that he's passed away the lonley hit like a line of 18 wheelers running me over.
Most of our friends are scattered across the US and it's very easy when you life is so busy already to maintain distant friendships especially if you weren't that close to begin with. I get it.
My social group here Li feel like had a more vested interest in my husband. I feel like I'm likeable but maybe not as much as I thought to our core group of friends. I tell you it does a number on your mental health.
It is very hard at my age to make new friends. My best friend is gone forever.

:bighug:My heart really goes out to you. Your real life example really adds perspective.
 

Jmartjrmd

Well-Known Member
:bighug:My heart really goes out to you. Your real life example really adds perspective.
Thank you. I am seeing a nice guy it just feels unnatural being that I was with the same man for so long and it's only been 1 year and 9 months since my husband passed. It's weird but unless I try I will live a miserable existence and I don't want that.
It's hard to go from having someone all the time to having nothing in the blink of an eye. Especially since you didn't stop loving that person. Trying to get in a new relationship is so hard.
 

Avyn

Well-Known Member
I've been working with my families/students with autism over COVID and since summer break started and they are TIRED. They really struggle with caring for their children. They don't have a clue about how to care for and manage their disabilities, let alone teach them. I can't say this mom should get a break but I've seen desperation in these parents' eyes and it has scared me a little. Since COVID started one of my littles has destroyed a significant amount of furniture in his home, electronic devices, etc. I've shared resources and procedures that work for us in the classroom but these students have 1 to 1 support during the school day and parents don't have that. I agree with someone upthread, some parents are not equipped to parent, let alone parent a child with significant special needs. Add to the mix having to work from home and care for them....:dazed:
 
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