Gratuity For Church Honorarium

[FearlessNik]

Hey Ladies! I'm normally a stranger to this part of the form. But I have an etiquette question and I hope someone would be able to offer some guidance.

The church is donating the following services for a memorial (Not a full funeral):
-Church sanctuary
-Organist and singer
-Reception for food service after the memorial to include members to serve and clean up

The family already has a Minister to perform the service and will provide all food, refreshments, utensils, and condiments.

I would like to give it all in one general offering with a thank you note, or is it better to to go to each person? TIA for any suggestions!

 

[Dee-Licious]

I'm confused on what you're wanting to do.

 

[FearlessNik]

I'm confused on what you're wanting to do.

I didn't want to offend. The church is letting our family have a memorial service for someone who passed away at their church for free. The church is also providing an organist, singer, and will be serving food (that we provide) in their reception hall.

I know gratuity should be offered to the Minister. But what about the church? They are donating all these services and assumed they should be tipped as well as none of the family are members of that church.

 

[Shimmie]

Hi Sweetheart...

Just follow your heart. An individual thank you note with a gratuity is a very nice gesture.

If you choose that option, have a few extrà cards on hand just in case there are additional helpers and no one is left out.

This is a very generous Church. You can also ask the Pastor how he would prefer for you to make the offering. You can donate to the Ministry where it is needed the most.

God bless you. I am also sorry for the loss of your family member.
Take care. ❤

Shimmie

 

[FearlessNik]

Hi Sweetheart...

Just follow your heart. An individual thank you note with a gratuity is a very nice gesture.

If you choose that option, have a few extrà cards on hand just in case there are additional helpers and no one is left out.

This is a very generous Church. You can also ask the Pastor how he would prefer for you to make the offering. You can donate to the Ministry where it is needed the most.

God bless you. I am also sorry for the loss of your family member.
Take care. ❤

Shimmie

Thank you for replying and for your sympathies. But I need an estimate. $200, $500, $1,000???? I have no idea where to start with this. I know they are all donating this, but I do not want to offend by offering too much or too little. Should I still ask the Pastor of the church?

 

[FearlessNik]

Also, just to add. This all comes up because our family is not religious, but the person who passed away was. The person did not have a church in the area so we just had to pick one that followed her beliefs.

 

[Shimmie]

First of all, you have a wonderful heart to care so much and to honor your family member's faith. God bless you.

In this case, I would personally speak with the Pastor to find out what his preference is. Also, keep your budget in mind, as well.

$500 dollars is a nice option considering what you are being offered. Also, pray from your heart, asking God to guide you with this. God loves our prayers. Yours will be most welcome to Him. He's not religious either.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Thank you for replying and for your sympathies. But I need an estimate. $200, $500, $1,000???? I have no idea where to start with this. I know they are all donating this, but I do not want to offend by offering too much or too little. Should I still ask the Pastor of the church?

There is no set amount. The church will be glad you are making an offering, but it's not necessary to do an amount that would create a hardship if it would. If the church couldn't do it for free, they wouldn't have offered it.

It's great that you all are honoring your loved one's beliefs/wishes. To me, a $200, $300 or so donation in the memory of your loved one to the church would be lovely. If the family can only do $50 comfortably, the $50 donation would be lovely. The donation coming from the heart is what matters more than the amount.

 

[FearlessNik]

There is no set amount. The church will be glad you are making an offering, but it's not necessary to do an amount that would create a hardship if it would. If the church couldn't do it for free, they wouldn't have offered it.

It's great that you all are honoring your loved one's beliefs/wishes. To me, a $200, $300 or so donation in the memory of your loved one to the church would be lovely. If the family can only do $50 comfortably, the $50 donation would be lovely. The donation coming from the heart is what matters more than the amount.

Thank you so much for this advice!

 

[FearlessNik]

First of all, you have a wonderful heart to care so much and to honor your family member's faith. God bless you.

In this case, I would personally speak with the Pastor to find out what his preference is. Also, keep your budget in mind, as well.

$500 dollars is a nice option considering what you are being offered. Also, pray from your heart, asking God to guide you with this. God loves our prayers. Yours will be most welcome to Him. He's not religious either.

Thank you! Just trying to do right by her.

 

[FearlessNik]

@Shimmie @Dee-Licious Thank y'all so much. Everything with the church went smoothly. There were no akward moments and everyone was taken care of.

 

[Dee-Licious]

@Shimmie @Dee-Licious Thank y'all so much. Everything with the church went smoothly. There were no akward moments and everyone was taken care of.

Glad to hear!

 

[Shimmie]

@Shimmie @Dee-Licious Thank y'all so much. Everything with the church went smoothly. There were no akward moments and everyone was taken care of.

Awesome! ❤❤❤.

God bless you! You truly have a loving heart.