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Hair hate all up in the salon!!

I just don't understand the nerve of some people! Is hair really all that serious to wish bad things upon people??

Why is there so much hair hate in the salon? When a woman with long hair walks in, why do some folks gotta hate? Stylists included!! Everyone is all in their hair trying to look for tracks. Some stylists will out anyone who is wearing a weave. If a woman with a weave is going to a salon to have her hair styled, what's wrong with asking her quietly if she has added hair before you start styling? Why yell all across the room "is that all yo hair?"

If you have long hair be careful of what stylist you use if you want a trim. Some of these undercover haters will chop the mess out of your hair, and some other clients will secretly be loving it! I've seen it with my own eyes!!! I've seen stylists purposely become rough with a woman's hair if it's long. Sometimes they'll make rude comments about how "nappy" it is.

I've heard other clients stare a woman with long hair down. When they see that it's all hers they make some rude comments. "she think she all that" what's even worse is overhearing someone make a malicious comment such as "i hope all that s*** falls out" Are these people for real???

My cousin wears weaves and looks gorgeous with them. She has them put in at a mostly white salon but has her hair styled at black salons. Whenever she goes to have her hair styled the stylist has to find a way to let everyone know it's not all hers. So one second everyone is staring and green with envy, the next second they are relieved to know that "that a'int all hers." If I was wearing a weave and the stylist felt the need to let everyone know this, I would get out of the chair and walk straight out. It's not like she is trying to deceive anyone, but it that everyone's business? I think it's proper protocol to ask privately if the client has added hair and then take the proper precautions when styling it. If others find out it is a weave, so what, but don't make stupid, loud comments like "Girl you got tracks all up and through yo head!" or even worse "Oh girl I was getting excited cause I thought that was all yo' hair, you betta quit!!"

Oh and naturals with some serious shrinkage going into a salon to get a press, beware. Some folks get jealous when they see your neck length hair go all down your back in a matter of minutes. Then when you leave they start whispering "Girl that 'nappy' s*** won't be all that long when the rain hit it"

Funny how all the haters are in the salon. It just isn't right. :mad:
 

ChasingBliss

Well-Known Member
Im not surprised in the least. I see this mess all the time. When I took my daughter to the salon two weeks ago...these women were burning holes in my head with their eyes. I had my hair in a ponytail. Only God knows what was behind all the glares. When I would catch their looks, it would be straight up evil.
I either totally ignore them or smile and say something friendly and watch how they fumble to change their expressions. My daughter points it out all the time and it really makes her angry. She asked me the other day, why does it seem like black women hate each other so much. I told her it's not just black women, she just happens to notice it more because we live in a black community.

What gets me so much is why on earth would a woman let another woman see that? I mean really, dont they realize that things like that are immediately interpreted by most as jealousy or envy. Especially if the person you are doing it to is doing NOTHING to you.
 

atlien11

Well-Known Member
Girl, hair haters are everywhere! There should be a post titled: Hair Hate all up at work!! Those women ( i call them vultures) at work just sit in the lunch area and talk about everybody walkin by. They had a bet going whether my hair was mine are not and them heffas was all pissy about the fact that it was! :mad: Trust no one.
 

tenderheaded

Well-Known Member
Talk about timely:) I went to the salon today with my niece. She has a weave. I had washed my hair and left it down. The salon owner had weave and she gave me the most unfriendly look I'd ever seen:ohwell: Now, before she gave me the evil eye, I HAD thought about using her because she uses Dudley products and deep conditions after relaxers. Now, I wouldn't let her pay ME to do my hair! I think I be seriously bald before the year was out!!!
 
My hair wasn't all that long about a year ago when a stylist cut off more than half of my side bang. I wanted a nice long side bang that would come to my chin. Everytime I went to her I always had my hair parted on the side with a side bang. Tell me why when my side bang was getting some length, she decided to cut the mess out of it! It went from being cheek length to right above my eyebrow! She asked me before she started my hair if I wanted my bang trimmed, I said NO. I didn't see it coming because she was holding it like she was going to trim some of the bad ends. All of a sudden she quickly snipped and threw the hair over her shoulders! She said it was getting too long. WTH?!?! Just thinking about it makes me angry!!! Why would I wear a side bang that short? I am self concious about my forehead so my side bang is my baby and she cut it, I almost cried when I got home. I NEVER went back to her again!!!
 

ChasingBliss

Well-Known Member
redRiot said:
My hair wasn't all that long about a year ago when a stylist cut off more than half of my side bang. I wanted a nice long side bang that would come to my chin. Everytime I went to her I always had my hair parted on the side with a side bang. Tell me why when my side bang was getting some length, she decided to cut the mess out of it! It went from being cheek length to right above my eyebrow! She asked me before she started my hair if I wanted my bang trimmed, I said NO. I didn't see it coming because she was holding it like she was going to trim some of the bad ends. All of a sudden she quickly snipped and threw the hair over her shoulders! She said it was getting too long. WTH?!?! Just thinking about it makes me angry!!! Why would I wear a side bang that short? I am self concious about my forehead so my side bang is my baby and she cut it, I almost cried when I got home. I NEVER went back to her again!!!

:eek: I dont normally show my butt in public but that would have been an exception. I dont mess with stylists at all. My daughter likes them but I refuse to let them touch my head.
 

godzooki

Well-Known Member
I just had my dose of that crap today :(. After I was done getting my touch up I felt so uncomfortable with all the side glares I got I nearly tripped over my own two feet getting the heck out of there. I felt like I could not even endulge myself to look at my own hair results for worrying that they might take offense and rudly say something. Especially from one woman who I had tried to be friendly with. She was there to get her weave tightened and I later saw was thinning badly in the front from damage. When I first came in with my hair braided and balled up pre touch up she was friendly, but as soon as I came back from the wash and my stylist began combing my hair she just sat there and stared with her lips pursed and would not make eye contact. Sometimes I even feel uncomfortable around my stylist. I did have my ends lightly trimmed and it felt like russian roulette because you just never know when they might be having a bad hair day and decide to take it out on clients. I envy those who self perm.
 

Yellowflowers

Well-Known Member
HoneyLemonDrop said:
Im not surprised in the least. I see this mess all the time. When I took my daughter to the salon two weeks ago...these women were burning holes in my head with their eyes. I had my hair in a ponytail. Only God knows what was behind all the glares. When I would catch their looks, it would be straight up evil.
I either totally ignore them or smile and say something friendly and watch how they fumble to change their expressions. My daughter points it out all the time and it really makes her angry. She asked me the other day, why does it seem like black women hate each other so much. I told her it's not just black women, she just happens to notice it more because we live in a black community.

What gets me so much is why on earth would a woman let another woman see that? I mean really, dont they realize that things like that are immediately interpreted by most as jealousy or envy. Especially if the person you are doing it to is doing NOTHING to you.


ITA. I warned women not too long ago, that when they reached thier hair goals to keep thier gun loaded for those green eyed monsters. It is sad but true.

I usually post on these kinds of threads because I have been there. When some of the lovely ladies on the board reach thier hair goals they need to be prepared for this.

I have been a cosmetologist and worked in shops where I have seen black women twisted with jealousy at "the women with the long hair". I have seen stylists bullying the customer with insults, into having her ends trimmed so they can curl it, saying that her ends are raggedy and it will stop growing. Then everyone eles holds thier breath while the stylists cuts off a lot more than she should. Afterwards, the other patrons are sitting there with a quiet smirk on thier face. It is one of the ugliest and most pathetic displays of female insecurities imaginable.

I now feel that when stylist do this, more of them need to be taken to court. It is a violation of trust and a sneaky form of assault.

That is why I will get straight up ghetto on these kinds of fools. They are not trying to be nice to you so why should you be nice to them. When they make these kinds of comments they are too ignorant to realize that they have just revealed to another women that she is spiteful and insecure enough to be envious of other women.
 
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CurleeDST

Well-Known Member
Oh my goodness - this sounds CRAZY! I have natural hair and do not visit salons regularly or at all so I am not familiar with this. Nor have I had hair down my back recently but this sounds crazy!! Why black people why??????? It's only hair!
 

KhandiB

Well-Known Member
Unfortunately thats why I havent been to a salon in over a year, last time I went I was 5 months pregnant, I asked to get my hair washed and my ends clipped, according to their brochure, a wash came with a blowdry and style for like 20 bucks, They tried to charge me 55 bucks saying that I got my hair straightened.. I was like look, you told me 18 and thats what Im paying, next time you need to say what you mean.. and the owner was trying to say but maam.. naw, and I was pregnant in July too.. Naw yo..

I used to go to Hair Cuttery or JCPenny's to get my ends clipped, less drama :) - Plus I REFUSE to see a stylists whose hair is Jacked up
 
Yellowflowers said:
ITA. I warned women not too long ago, that when they reached thier hair goals to keep thier gun loaded for those green eyed monsters. It is sad but true.

I usually post on these kinds of threads because I have been there. When some of the lovely ladies on the board reach thier hair goals they need to be prepared for this.

I have been a cosmetologist and worked in shops where I have seen black women twisted with jealousy at "the women with the long hair". I have seen stylists bullying the customer with insults, into having her ends trimmed so they can curl it, saying that her ends are raggedy and it will stop growing. Then everyone eles holds thier breath while the stylists cuts off a lot more than she should. Afterwards, the other patrons are sitting there with a quiet smirk on thier face. It is one of the ugliest and most pathetic displays of female insecurities imaginable.

I now feel that when stylist do this, more of them need to be taken to court. It is a violation of trust and a sneaky form of assault.

That is why I will get straight up ghetto on these kinds of fools. They are not trying to be nice to you so why should you be nice to them. When they make these kinds of comments they are too ignorant to realize that they have just revealed to another women that she is spiteful and insecure enough to be envious of other women.

Thank you so much for bringing this up. I didn't realize something similar could happen to me even with my hair not being very long. I used to think that when my stylist would over trim my hair it was for the better. But now I know the truth. Even the stylists with long hair will hate. I am so happy I know better now. This stylist was evil and I trusted her. I couldn't understand why she would let the relaxer sit and burn my scalp while she would take her time to come over and wash it out. This can happen to anyone. Like I said my hair was only about grazing shoulder, but it looked a lot healthier than most of the clients (though I would blame them for their lack of hair, they wanted some outrageous styles that just screamed breakage). I was a bit younger back then and she was my mother's stylist, also she was the most affordable. Now I have sworn off stylists for a long while. I feel sorry for other ladies who don't know otherwise, who trust their stylists when they tell them "You need about 2 inches cut off, it'll help your hair grow" I see this type of bullying happen mostly to younger girls because, like me, they don't know any better. I just don't see how hacking off 3 inches is considered a trim. But they will pull that one on you...
 

CurleeDST

Well-Known Member
Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.
 

CurleeDST

Well-Known Member
You have to ask what is considered a trim b/c many salons charge more for a CUT vs. a TRIM so I ask. For the salons I take my 4-year old daughter to for trims, a trim is 1 inch or LESS. That is $20 bucks so I take her every 9 months for a 1-inch trim.


redRiot said:
Thank you so much for bringing this up. I didn't realize something similar could happen to me even with my hair not being very long. I used to think that when my stylist would over trim my hair it was for the better. But now I know the truth. Even the stylists with long hair will hate. I am so happy I know better now. This stylist was evil and I trusted her. I couldn't understand why she would let the relaxer sit and burn my scalp while she would take her time to come over and wash it out. This can happen to anyone. Like I said my hair was only about grazing shoulder, but it looked a lot healthier than most of the clients (though I would blame them for their lack of hair, they wanted some outrageous styles that just screamed breakage). I was a bit younger back then and she was my mother's stylist, also she was the most affordable. Now I have sworn off stylists for a long while. I feel sorry for other ladies who don't know otherwise, who trust their stylists when they tell them "You need about 2 inches cut off, it'll help your hair grow" I see this type of bullying happen mostly to younger girls because, like me, they don't know any better. I just don't see how hacking off 3 inches is considered a trim. But they will pull that one on you...
 
CurleeDST said:
Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.

It's funny that you bring that up. When I was younger my mother had some serious bouncy shoulder length hair. Well she went to this male stylist and even to this day she says he purposely trimmed too much hair cause he was jealous. Now I'm not sure if this is true, but I do know that I would probably try a male stylist over a female stylist anyday.
 
CurleeDST said:
You have to ask what is considered a trim b/c many salons charge more for a CUT vs. a TRIM so I ask. For the salons I take my 4-year old daughter to for trims, a trim is 1 inch or LESS. That is $20 bucks so I take her every 9 months for a 1-inch trim.

I've always thought that less than an inch was a trim and would be sufficient for ends that weren't that damaged, just really old. But I have always had a stylist hack the mess out of my hair, even when it didn't need it. I thought I was getting smart to the game when I started trimming the ends before I would visit the stylist. It would take me a while cause I would actually go through and make sure I only snipped what I needed to. But these stylists would keep saying "You need your ends clipped" and proceed to cut off 2 months worth of growth. Something just isn't right about that.
 

KhandiB

Well-Known Member
I LOVE Male Stylists as well Male Manicurists.. and have NEVER had a problem with a Man..

CurleeDST said:
Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.
 

CurleeDST

Well-Known Member
IMO male stylists and barbers styled and cut better than females. When I wore a nice slick natural barber cut I went to men b/c they knew how to shape it up and keep it looking feminine while female stylists just were NOT as good. The men knew how to cut my natural hair very short and have it lay down while women tried to cut it and it was sticking up all over the place! The only reason why I stopped going to my male stylist was b/c I grew out my natural hair well one day he also had me waiting when I had an appointment so I left and vowed to never go back. But that is another story for another time. :lol:


redRiot said:
It's funny that you bring that up. When I was younger my mother had some serious bouncy shoulder length hair. Well she went to this male stylist and even to this day she says he purposely trimmed too much hair cause he was jealous. Now I'm not sure if this is true, but I do know that I would probably try a male stylist over a female stylist anyday.
 

Isis

New Member
:nono: There isn't anything we can do about how other people feel towards us. It happens in families too as we all know.

It's only hair but hair does represent power and when some women feel powerless in their lives anyway, they feel intimidated and will hate on someone who appears to have what they want. We're talking about black women here but it happens with all races of women in this society - internal sexism.
 

godzooki

Well-Known Member
CurleeDST said:
Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.


I went in to a male stylist for a while at the recommendation of his brother who was my school mate. One day I let him talk me into a small trim y and without saying a word he grabbed my hair and chopped off a huge chunk. I was in shock and sat in the chair in silence. He and his brother who was often there grinned at each other and he proceeded to chop my hair into some funky mushroom bob saying he knew what looked good on me...I never went back to him and avoided his brother who I thought was my friend. I was a jr in high school and too shocked and scared to say anything. They were muslim and he often would put down non muslim women while doing my hair so when he blatantly chopped my hair I was petrified he'd go off on me for not being muslim.
Now when I hear about male stylist supposedly being better than women I'm a bit jaded.
As for long haird stylists, they can be just a brutal because they want to be the only one with long hair up in the joint and some get malicious when they see a client making "too much" progress and about to pass them in length.
 

Yellowflowers

Well-Known Member
CurleeDST said:
Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.


I have seen male stylists do the same thing. He may be influenced by the "cutting the hair to make it grow theory." Also he may not be aware of what is just too much to cut off.

He may not be jealous but maybe somewhat intimidated and influenced by the other female stylists. For a man it seems that when a black women has long hair, he might feel that she represents women who are out of his league, not as accessible as he would want them to be. She may represent the type of women he might want but could never get. (If he is straight):lol:

If he is gay then he might get jealous because... well I won't go there.:lol:

I heard one male stylist say that women with long hair only wear thier hair one way and hardly ever change. I told him that is entirely up to a women how she wears her hair.

I would recommend that everyone be careful of your tresses because it took a lot hard work to get those locks and you do not want to have someone mess you up!

Get recommendations from other ladies with nice locks and when a stylist recommends a trim always ask for a mirror so You can see what he/she is doing. Be very specific about what you want and stick to it. You have that right. It is your head and your money. Otherwise flat out refuse to let them cut your hair.

Tell them that there is another stylist you let do your trim because she knows what you like.


There are some good stylist but there are a lot of bad one out there as well. Be careful!
 

CurleeDST

Well-Known Member
The stylist I have gone to shows you how much she is trimming off with her fingers and asks if you agree or want more or less. She then proceeds. Again, she only trimmed my daughter's hair so she lets me see what she is doing explicity and transparently. Also, the salon is a Christian salon and they play nothing but gospel music and sometimes break out with the Word up in there! Glory.

Yellowflowers said:

I have seen male stylists do the same thing. He may be influenced by the "cutting the hair to make it grow theory." Also he may not be aware of what is just too much to cut off.

He may not be jealous but maybe somewhat intimidated and influenced by the other female stylists. For a man it seems that when a black women has long hair, he might feel that she represents women who are out of his league, not as accessible as he would want them to be. She may represent the type of women he might want but could never get. (If he is straight):lol:

If he is gay then he might get jealous because... well I won't go there.:lol:

I heard one male stylist say that women with long hair only wear thier hair one way and hardly ever change. I told him that is entirely up to a women how she wears her hair.

I would recommend that everyone be careful of your tresses because it took a lot hard work to get those locks and you do not want to have someone mess you up!

Get recommendations from other ladies with nice locks and when a stylist recommends a trim always ask for a mirror so You can see what he/she is doing. Be very specific about what you want and stick to it. You have that right. It is your head and your money. Otherwise flat out refuse to let them cut your hair.

Tell them that there is another stylist you let do your trim because she knows what you like.


There are some good stylist but there are a lot of bad one out there as well. Be careful!
 

Isis

New Member
Yellowflowers said:
For a man it seems that when a black women has long hair, he might feel that she represents women who are out of his league, not as accessible as he would want them to be. She may represent the type of women he might want but could never get. (If he is straight):lol:
By this do you mean black men? There is something to this and again it goes back to hair representing power and certain types of people who are intimidated by long hair.
 

Yellowflowers

Well-Known Member
godzooki said:
I went in to a male stylist for a while at the recommendation of his brother who was my school mate. One day I let him talk me into a small trim y and without saying a word he grabbed my hair and chopped off a huge chunk. I was in shock and sat in the chair in silence. He and his brother who was often there grinned at each other and he proceeded to chop my hair into some funky mushroom bob saying he knew what looked good on me...I never went back to him and avoided his brother who I thought was my friend. I was a jr in high school and too shocked and scared to say anything. They were muslim and he often would put down non muslim women while doing my hair so when he blatantly chopped my hair I was petrified he'd go off on me for not being muslim.
Now when I hear about male stylist supposedly being better than women I'm a bit jaded.
As for long haird stylists, they can be just a brutal because they want to be the only one with long hair up in the joint and some get malicious when they see a client making "too much" progress and about to pass them in length.

So sad but true! I am glad this is be discussed because with enlightenment come the power and the strength to speak up to these butchers.

FYI, In order to sue thier ***, you only need two other people who knew the condition of your hair before you went to them. Better yet take pictures.

While in the stylist chair, casually bring up the subject of someone eles you know who sued a hairdresser for cutting off all of thier hair. Put thier *** on notice:lol:
 
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Yellowflowers

Well-Known Member
Isis said:
By this do you mean black men? There is something to this and again it goes back to hair representing power and certain types of people who are intimidated by long hair.

Yes I meant the black male. You are so right about the crowning glory representing power and sensuality.

I have also seen many women with short hair who are drop dead georgeous, but in the black community if you have long hair you have to deal with the intimidation factor and the haters.
 
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beyondcute

New Member
LOL Yep... I done heard it all! People are a trip! They will talk all the junk in the world! And to hear the way they talk about naturals... :nono: My auntie used to own a shop and I woudl sit in and listen to all the lil convos... "Nappy headed b!tch think she all that!" "Naw boo! You cant get that style! You know your hair is TOO dayum nappy for that!" "Oh you need a trim!" *I gto a trim last week* "Well are you tryna tell me how to do my job?!" Ive seen people's hair get LOPPED off and burned purposely. And the funny thing about it is that many of the women just sat there. And then when it was all done they paid...
 

punchinella

New Member
I went to a salon at a dept store once and I was going to see a play later that night so I was pressed for time. The receptionist (a blk girl) set me up with this young black stylist. She kept saying how my ends needed to be trimmed or it wouldn't hold a curl. Well she trimmed and trimmed and... when she was done:eek: Then on top of that she wanted to charge me $25 extra.

By the time I got outside the store the curls had already dropped and she had the nerve to leave one long section of hair hanging there (like it was a reminder). The hair she cut did not even touch my shoulder and the piece of hair she left was hanging down to my breast:confused::eek::confused: I had to cut that off when I got home.

When I went back to complain the guy told me that she was no longer worked there and then he said I don't even know why they put you with her because everybody knows she don't like to see people with hair longer than hers.
 
punchinella said:
I went to a salon at a dept store once and I was going to see a play later that night so I was pressed for time. The receptionist (a blk girl) set me up with this young black stylist. She kept saying how my ends needed to be trimmed or it wouldn't hold a curl. Well she trimmed and trimmed and... when she was done:eek: Then on top of that she wanted to charge me $25 extra.

By the time I got outside the store the curls had already dropped and she had the nerve to leave one long section of hair hanging there (like it was a reminder). The hair she cut did not even touch my shoulder and the piece of hair she left was hanging down to my breast:confused::eek::confused: I had to cut that off when I got home.

When I went back to complain the guy told me that she was no longer worked there and then he said I don't even know why they put you with her because everybody knows she don't like to see people with hair longer than hers.

Aww man. That's rough. :ohwell:
 

ChasingBliss

Well-Known Member
punchinella said:
I went to a salon at a dept store once and I was going to see a play later that night so I was pressed for time. The receptionist (a blk girl) set me up with this young black stylist. She kept saying how my ends needed to be trimmed or it wouldn't hold a curl. Well she trimmed and trimmed and... when she was done:eek: Then on top of that she wanted to charge me $25 extra.

By the time I got outside the store the curls had already dropped and she had the nerve to leave one long section of hair hanging there (like it was a reminder). The hair she cut did not even touch my shoulder and the piece of hair she left was hanging down to my breast:confused::eek::confused: I had to cut that off when I got home.

When I went back to complain the guy told me that she was no longer worked there and then he said I don't even know why they put you with her because everybody knows she don't like to see people with hair longer than hers.

That's a crying shame! Oh how I wish there were salons out there for women of COLOR who were trying to GROW and MAINTAIN LONG, HEALTHY hair.
 
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