Hair Sabotage (need help)

[Sweetyb]

I've been under wraps for about a year now mainly because I've been intentionally committing "hair sabotage" . I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with my hair which I found to be annoyingly full, always dry, and tough to manage or style. The longer it grew, the harder it was to style. Also, leaving it in its natural state kept it prone to split ends and knots. I didn't want to discourage other naturals by posting my issues, especially when their hair is the same as mine.

Solution?? Well, I decided to "burn" my hair as a means of training it to behave the way I wanted it to. I've purchased 2 flat irons since and have used them many times throughout this past year, sometimes not using them the proper way, and not always on freshly washed hair. I stopped caring about the consequences because of how fed up I was. I loved my styles and my curls were relaxed a bit and my hair wasn't as tough and full as it used to be because of the permanently thinning effect flat irons have on hair--it's just right... I've fallen in love with my hair again, in a weird way .


Need a change of direction! I don't want to continue this route if I can help it. If there's anyone who understands, how do you think I can come out of this without having to resort to chemicals or braids (expensive), or twists (been there, done that), or dreads (I enjoy combing my hair).

I am attempting to wear my own "home made" (cheaper) phony pony everyday to protect the ends of my hair and give my hair a break from flat irons that I'm seriously getting addicted to. I also purchased that soft bonnet ION everyone's been talking about and it works GREAT! Edit: I've tried rollersetting with it and it didn't work well but I may try again or with flat twists instead.

Any suggestions are welcome

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I don't have any suggestions for your situation being that I'm not natural, and I'm 4a, but I wanted to commend you on being brave enough to say everything you said and bring your issues to the board. I've noticed that sometimes, among moaning and sighing of relaxed ladies, natural heads are pretending as if the grass on their side is greener and they never have issues/doubts/regrets. I, as a relaxed head hoping to transition, can appreciate how honest you're being.

Just wanted to applaud you unapologetic approach to your situation...

In addition, I know the feeling of being frustrated altogether with your hair situation, and I wanted to say that things will work themselves out eventually. Someone needs to flip the switch, but the light IS at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Sweetyb]

Aww, I didn't expect such a warm welcome to my situation... thanks!

 

[Blaque*Angel]

Maybe try twist outs. Check on www.nappturality.com for inspiration, they have sisters with loads of different natural hairstyle tips.
I think it looKs good when natural ladies wear an afro with a rose in it, Flat twists at the front,afro at the back,Afro puffs,Twist outs,Braids out,etc
HTH

 

[Blaque*Angel]

THIS SHOULD HELP

 

[blackbarbie]

I'm not natural, but after reading your post, I def. feel your frustration (I could really sense it b/c you were so honest with your post)....

For starters, the styles that the previous poster posted are all really pretty; maybe you could try some of those.

Also, try just going back to the basics first. What I mean is remember back to the time when you weren't fed up with your natural hair and it was manageable and you were loving every minute of it. At that time, just think of the regimen that you were using that made your hair that way. Go back to that regimen, using those products, to get the end result of hair that is manageable, made you glad you are natural, etc. Even go to some naturals album and take a peek to give you some new inspiration. Then try to discipline yourself by sticking to this a little at a time and slowly back away from the flat iron!!..............Don't try to go cold turkey, just make up in your mind how much less you are going to use it, then do that, and eventually use it less and less until you feel like you are using it enough that it is not causing damage to your hair. Basically, just phase it out. Don't just say you're not going to use it anymore b/c the first time you go back on your word, you'll be kicking your hair.

HTH!

 

[determine3]

Girl, I just wanted to say that I think you have beautiful hair~that being said, as a natural, I totally understand how you feel. I actually have a part of my hair that is "crispy" from all the flat ironing I do! Be careful! I think what your experiencing is boredom.....this is how I feel about my hair. I'm sorry for not having any suggestions for you but I wanted you to know that I understand how you feel and I'm rooting for you to get through this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Chanteuse]

I think that the first thing you need to do is decide what you want for and from your hair. Here are some starter questions:

Do you want to wear natural hair styles?
Do you want to wear straight(er) styles?
Do you want to remain natural?

If you're not sure then you may want to consider a weave (since you don't want braids) to give your hair some time to rest while you think about it.

It sounds like right now, you are enjoying wearing your hair straight. There is nothing wrong with that, however there may be healthier alternatives for achieving it. Just be very honest with yourself and do what makes you and your hair happy . Good luck!

 

[brownsugar9999]

I've been under wraps for about a year now mainly because I've been intentionally committing "hair sabotage" . I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with my hair which I found to be annoyingly full, always dry, and tough to manage or style. The longer it grew, the harder it was to style. Also, leaving it in its natural state kept it prone to split ends and knots. I didn't want to discourage other naturals by posting my issues, especially when their hair is the same as mine.

Solution?? Well, I decided to "burn" my hair as a means of training it to behave the way I wanted it to. I've purchased 2 flat irons since and have used them many times throughout this past year, sometimes not using them the proper way, and not always on freshly washed hair. I stopped caring about the consequences because of how fed up I was. I loved my styles and my curls were relaxed a bit and my hair wasn't as tough and full as it used to be because of the permanently thinning effect flat irons have on hair--it's just right... I've fallen in love with my hair again, in a weird way .


Need a change of direction! I don't want to continue this route if I can help it. If there's anyone who understands, how do you think I can come out of this without having to resort to chemicals or braids (expensive), or twists (been there, done that), or dreads (I enjoy combing my hair).

I am attempting to wear my own "home made" (cheaper) phony pony everyday to protect the ends of my hair and give my hair a break from flat irons that I'm seriously getting addicted to. I also purchased that soft bonnet ION everyone's been talking about and it works GREAT! Edit: I've tried rollersetting with it and it didn't work well but I may try again or with flat twists instead.

Any suggestions are welcome

Awww sweetie...my hair brush goes out to you. Have you tried that Cathy House homemade conditioner? Since you'll be wearing it in a pony tail, you may be able to get away with wearing it "wet" or give yourself a clear cellophane. It's a conditioner, in essence, and is "baked" onto your hair....
And I agree with the comment that you have great determination and proud of you for the confession!!

 

[brownsugar9999]

THIS SHOULD HELP

DANG GIRL!!!!! Good looking out!

 

[Sweetyb]

Thank you wantlonghealthyhair, blackbarbie, determine3, Chanteuse,
brownsugar9999 ! You all gave me such wonderful suggested
products, styles, and comments that will surely motivate me to get back
on track with my natural, limited heat, styling .


As I sit here deep conditioning under my... soft bonnet ION dryer D),
I'm contemplating trying out that chunky twistout pic b/4 I leave the
house, just for fun. Though I always have my phony pony on standby.


I've gone back to a lot of products I had stopped using, and finally after 2
years of wanting it, I bought the Kendra shampoo/conditioner last month,
which I'm alternating with (my pj'ism in 2003 really just burnt me out). A
friend pointed out to me that I was caring for other ppl's hair more than my
own. This year I plan to concentrate on my own and will hopefully see it
grow to unimaginable lengths . I will look at Cathy's products and
other products on my list that I've been meaning to purchase for years and
just do it.

 

[HairPhoenix]

There is nothing more refreshing than some straight up honesty. So I am going to admit that I didn't think you were serious when I first started reading your post. I am so sorry that you have reached such frustration. I know how it can be.

I think you got some really good advice from the ladies already. I just wanted to add that if you are bored maybe you should try some different hair accessories. That's one of the things that I do when I get bored with my hair. See what's new out there. Clips, decorative combs, scarfs, etc. Try experimenting with those while you nurse your hair back. And have fun with it.

Don't forget as one of our sisters in here posted, Black women can do more with their hair than any other creature on this planet!