Having some problems with discipline! And I NEED some advice!

foxieroxienyc

New Member
Ok so I need a lot of help, maybe in the form of written whippings or something...

:spank:

This is gonna be a LONG POST because I REALLY need a moment to exhale...:ohwell::nono:

I'm having a reeeeally hard time getting myself into sticking with protective styling. Since starting my journey here my hair has really thrived. I started off with healthy hair and ends already so I didnt have anything to repair or try to preserve. For me it was about learning how to take care of my own hair without depending on salons, as some of you know I wore weaves all the time up to Dec of 07, so my hair was almost NEVER out except my edges. Fast forward to now, my hair has been doing GREAT! I wash and DC at EVERY wash (which is about 2-3x a week) and I've been really switching up my DC to focus more on moisture and it has really helped with stopping any breakage I was seeing (just minor breakage here and there, but it's no longer an issue). I use Aphogee 2 Min Recon. for my hair and it works wonders and also their leave-in which has protein in it and a little added SAA I put in for shine, needless to say my hair loves it. My regimen is pretty simple:

  • Occasionally pre-poo with Aphogee 2 min Recon. or African Pride hair Mayo
  • Poo with Allways Moisturizing Poo which is really gentel in my hair, or I will sometimes dilute it with a bit of conditioner so it doesnt strip my hair.
  • Occasionally Oil-rinse w/ EVOO. I love it but I need to lay off of it for only days where I will air dry because it's a bit heavy for my fine hair. Notice it makes my rollersets a little heavy.
  • DC with either Pantene Mask or Nexxus Humectress or a mix of both. Some days I DC with a protein (Aphogee and AP Hair Mayo) and on those days I follow with an instant condish when I wash out. Usually I use Pantene R&N Moisturizing Conditioner or Pantene Moisturizing Hydrator. My hair loves Pantene.
  • Apply leave-in - Salerm 21 and Aphogee Pro-Vitamin Leave-in
Then I either roller set, or detangle and dry it straight under my hooded dryer then flat iron (which I LOVE but dont do too often), or I detangle then air dry and put it back or flat iron or pin curl, whatever I feel like after the airdry. I moisturize with EQP Mango Butter and seal with Jamaican Lime and Mango Island Oil (first ingredient castor oil, has also coconut, olive, and jojoba oils - it's light and I like it lots). I ONLY use heat on wash days and my flat iron NEVER gets put above 284 degrees which is the next to last lowest setting on my flat iron (similar to a Chi, it's ceramic and tourmaline) I'm also now into great braidouts and twistouts, they come out really nice for me and are low manipulation. I was doing protective styles off and on at one point (lol hence my fotki PS collection), but got bored.

So my reggie is fairly simple and seems to work for me. But now sticking to the protective styling has been HARD lately. I was really paranoid when I first joined the site, afraid of breakage, afraid of heat, afraid to enjoy my hair because it would damage it. But I started to realize that it was crippling me enjoying my progress, especially in what I do for a living and having to be in the chair of different stylists (who are very good professionals by the way) and the times I don't put my hair in a weave to protect it while working, I have to feel comfortable with someone else styling my hair. They do take into consideration my concerns and requests (low heat if it has to be used, minimal brushing, using my wide toothed comb to style, and minimal hairsprays and gels). And at the end of the day, I always wash and DC to restore my hair and keep it clean. In any case, in this rethinking I've decided to enjoy my hair more, so after all that hard work of wet settting or occasional flat ironing or braidouts, etc, I like to LET HER SWING AND BLOW IN THE WIND! If I finish with a salon like look, I dont want to let it go by throwing it up in a bun or ponytail or up do.

So I need help. Advice... A verbal can of whoop-@$$ or something...

I've read all of the past threads about protective styling, I've look at the wonderful Sylver2's fotki and she's grown her hair without PS. I'm thinking that for a head of healthy hair that is maintained and watched closely and one where a simple and sturdy regimen is followed then it should be ok. My ends ARE NOT split nor raggedy, they're very healthy, my hair has thickened up a lot and has GROWN a lot in the time I've been here. I just feel so guilty everytime I catch myself without an updo anymore. I joined Bootcamp, but I think I may need to drop out because I cant for the life of me not blow out my roots after a roller set when I'm almost 2 months post relaxer and I have NG already almost an inch or more deep. And lastly I really like a swinging sexy flat iron right after my wash every once in a while. Am I doing more harm than good? Am I really committing a 4a/4b mortal sin? Am I supposed to go through this journey - one I plan to keep for life a slave to my hair and being afraid of letting it blow in the wind? My goal is overall BSL hair, I'm seeming to be winning in a race against myself to APL, but I guess I need some encouragement or words of wisdom from people who've been there done that or in the process of "doing that" and coming out ok. Maybe I'll make myself do at least 2-3 ponytail styles or up do's a week again just to get on track... Although the progress I've seen, I lend to a great regimen and not necessarily to protective styling....:wallbash::blush:
 
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nappity

Member
Let it blow! Girl Let it blow.( some disciplinarian I am:spank:)
You sound like you are taking good care of your hair. Remember that moderation is the key to everything!
 

foxieroxienyc

New Member
Thanks so much Nappity for the response. I'm starting to resolve to do what I'm doing and not stress over it. I just went though Sylver's fotki again, she's a great hair inspiration for me! I actually resolved today to wash and just braid out. I've simplified my reggie even more to a simple wash, instant moisturizing conditioner while I take care of shower business, rinse, then deep condition with my Pantene and Aphogee Recon Mix, rinse, apply leave in (aphogee), seal and then done... My hair's thanking me already.

I'm bumping this for more response, I know I'm not the only one with these questions and not the only who is/has gone through this period. Help a sistah out ladies pwwweeease!:blush::rolleyes:
 

HoneyDew

Well-Known Member
Let it blow! Girl Let it blow.( some disciplinarian I am:spank:)
You sound like you are taking good care of your hair. Remember that moderation is the key to everything!

I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :grin:

There really is no need to stress about the protective styling in my opinion. I mean if you really feel that is is preventing you from retaining, yeah, but otherwise let it hang! Even is you clip it up a few days a week or so or even when you wear something that might snag it that is cool to. I have been retaining well and I don't really do protective styles all the time - maybe 30% of the time tops!
 
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