I feel very similar as well. When i take my progress pics, i have my hair blowdried and flatironed straight as possible by a professional, but on a regular basis i wear buns EVERYDAY and half wigs on the weekend sometimes.
i hate that my hair doesnt stay back sleek and neat, its always frizzy and puffy even though i use gel EVERYDAY (giovanni mixed with aloe vera) to hold it back. I just want to look neat and not messy, but it seems to require heat or brushing my hair till my eyes are asian like my mom did when i was a child - im sure my hairline/big forehead are at least partially a direct result of this - lol.
And unfortunately wearing a hat to work is not an option. i just feel by the end of the day i look A MESS and am embarrassed to walk with other women who look more 'put together' than i do b/c there hair is styled (usually with the DREADED HEAT). I do want long hair, but im a slow grower - so i just wonder how long i will have to sacrifice looking neat and presentable. is this a societal problem - like all the comments about michelle obamas hair? am i feeding into it?
I feel like one of those little kids who comes home with messy hair every day after school