HELP! My 7yo put relaxer on her hair

[Shell4624]

Hi thanks for reading.. any insight you can provide will be appreciated. I have a 7 year old daughter with (i'm guessing) about 3b/c hair.. natural curly.. which she doesnt like. She is about midback legnth. Well yesterday she got into my ORS Regular Lye relaxer and put it on her hair... No one knew about this.. Yesterday she was just saying mom I'm wearing my hair down curly today (that was different because she doesn't like wearing her hair down unless i straighten it) but i didn't think anythign of it. Today we are getting ready to walk about of hte door and she comes around me smelling like relaxer... i asked her what did you put in your hair, she said Olive Oil (thats what is on the front of the container) I said come show me... she took me to the relaxer. So simply put, she put relaxer on her hair yesterday and again today. I didnt start the neutralizing process until today. I washed/rinsed it out, put in Hair mayo, made her sit like 5 minutes rinsed, neutralized and now she is under hte dryer with more Hair mayo(protien), after she comes about I'm gonna put an ORS replenishing pak on her... and then just wait to asses the damage. Oh yeah, last night before she went to bed, I braided her hair in 4 big braids because she curly hair gets really tangled over night.

Ladies, I am damn near tears and furious at her right now. The thing is, I KNOW she did this on purpose because she wants "straight" hair. When I relaxed last Friday she was in my bathroom with me...she even asked mom can I use that? I said no, you probably wont ever have to relax your hair. This past thrusday as I was cleaning my bathroom I noticed i had put the relaxer up, but didnt put it out of sight. So I moved it to the furtherest back corner of my product cabinet for fear that my 2 yo would get it, NOT my older baby. I am so angry at her right now, I dont know what to do.

If you;'ve gotten this far thanks for reading. If you can offer any advice to help us "save" her hair then I would also appreciated it.

 

[DaRealist]

(((((hug))))this is very scary and I am hoping she didn't use too much relaxerI think you should give her protein treatments too just to be safeI pray her hair is ok you should probably put your relaxer products up highyou should also talk to her and let her know the potential damage she may have done by leaving the relaxer on her hair

 

[Mahalialee4]

Than God she did not get it in her eyes!

 

[foxieroxienyc]

OOMG I'm so sorry to hear this! nono: Poor thing!

You're probably going to need to do a series of protein treatments for her as mentioned. I'd even do a hardcore one (Emergencee or Aphogee) just in case and then follow with a long moisturizing DC right afterwards... Since she had it in overnight and then again today her strands are probably going to be porous and weak. You sound like you're doing the right thing by assesing the damage after it's dry, maybe once that happens you can report back what you find and then figure out from there. Soooo sorry this happened, kids man, I swear!

 

[Tarae]

Oh my, you're not even sure how much she used.
I definitely agree with everyone else; protein.

And have a good talk with her about appreciating and loving the hair she has. Maybe you can show her pics of ladies with hair similar to hers and how beautiful it is. Explain to her how dangerous it is to mess around with relaxers also.

I hope her hair isn't too damaged because of this. And I really hope she learns to love her hair.

 

[Covergirl5906]

sorry to hear this ...I hope she hasn't caused any damage to her hair...as others have said, protein treatments...

parents y'all really have to keep these chemicals under lock and key.

 

[purity28]

Than God she did not get it in her eyes!

I did this when I attempted to relax my own hair a huge glop fell right in my eye...I was 14 trying to be grown and remembered in science class to flush with water I flushed for ever to get it all out it burned and my eye was sticking, I had blurry vision. I had pain for days never tried it again and made a full recovery.

My niece put Nair in her once because she thought it was moisture cream. she has recovered.


Try the treatments the ladies recommended. I'm sorry to hear about that..

 

[SparklingFlame]

I am so glad that she isnt bald! Especially since she didnt neutralize it. I think you got some good advice so far. Deep protein treatments followed by DC treatments and a watchful eye on her and her hair.

 

[vonte422]

I agree with the ladies about the protein. I am so sorry to hear this happen, you may want to wash her hair again in a day or two just to feel what kind of condition her hair is in. Also try to get her a protein moisturizer I think profectiv makes one, the yellow "growth" lotion and mix it with EVOO and apply to her hair daily. HTH

 

[Irresistible]

Firstly I KNOW you probably dont know this yet with your children being so young still but dont bother to be mad at her, trust me at 7 years old her thought processes are NOT thorough She may have had a notion that she wanted her hair straight but she HAD NO clue what she was actually doing. You have A LONG LONG way to go before you can hold her totally responsible for her thought processing and putting everything together.

Second I agree that the chemicals should have been put up. Its like my daughter did not understand she should not get into the pool since she couldnt swim, no matter how it was explained to her all the things that could happen, I would be damned if I didnt turn my back and she wouldnt be trying to get in, it didnt matter how it was explained or how upset anyone got , so instead of trusting her to NOT GO into the pool, she was NEVER left at the pool without an eye on her at all times, and no back could be turned. But dont kick yourself too much because **** still happens with kids and we never do it all perfectly


Third, I DONT understand the part where you saying she put it in yesterday , but you did her hair last night, where was the relaxer when you did her hair? did you not see/feel a difference then?

fourth, my daughter did this at 16 on her own and left it in overnight and totally jacked her hair, so trust me when I say you could not expect better thinking processes out of a 7 year old!!! her hair was damaged, and I did all your doing and then some, there will probably be some damage, there is no way around that fact, all you can do now is alll your doing to try to save her hair. She should fare well and grow it back quickly! I dont know about it being said that a relaxer before menses ruins the hair........thats my only concern in this situation. I would be trying to find out if thats actually true

I spent years with my daughter on her hair , teaching her to manage her beautiful thick natural long mid back hair, and she still just didnt love it UNTILL after that relaxer episode THEN SHE WAS CRYING

I too agree with another poster, I hope she learns to love her hair!

 

[Irresistible]

also the other important factor here is assessing whether she got it on her scalp? I dont think so or she would have said something, but it would be important to assess any scalp damage immediately

 

[Irresistible]

oh yeah and add overnight moisturizing *not protein* conditioning and oil treatments to what your doing

btw my daughter's outcome , her hair thinned, but no major damage, and has been in transition now since then which has been about 2 to 3 years. I dunno I lost count

I thought she was going to lose all her hair to her scalp!

 

[audacity.]

Shell, since I personally know what your daughter's hair looks like I am fuming for you!!!!

The funny is, I was thinking about y'all all day like, "I need to call Shell..."

*sigh* well, as other ladies said here, just try to reinforce to her how beautiful her hair is (because it IS) and how georgous she is with curly hair (becuase she IS) and when I see her, I will make sure I tell her the same thing...y'know it is completely different when someone else besides mommy says it

one of the reasons that i continue on my natural journey is so my dds don't see me relaxing and think, "well if she can do it, so can i...or how can she tell me my hair is pretty like this and she has hers straight..." type thing.

i am so sorry that she did that to her hair. thank god that she didn't burn herself with those chemicals.

stay on top of her moisture b/c we all know that out here, relaxed hair STAYS thristy

hth!

 

[Shell4624]

First to all the ladies that responded...God bless you all... you guys give advice and are truly there for me like sisters. Love you all.

Now to clarify some things. I just talked to her and had her show me how much she used both times... I had her dip her fingers into some conditioner and told her to pull out/show me the amount she used both yesterday and today. I'd say she used and applied about a tablespoon amount both times and applied it like grease. On Friday when she did it, she told me that she also sprayed her hair really wet with our water bottle right away too... I think most of the damage will be on the top front part of her hair because thats where it appears she applied it.

Yup last night i actually divided and combed through her hair and braided it up and I didnt notice anything. I am assuming this is because it wasnt nearly the amount of relaxer we apply when relaxing and if you've ever smelled ORS Lye Regular stregnth, it doesn't smell as "relaxerish" as many others... its smell is more subtle.

Today when i noticed it I actually could see some white streaks in her hair and I went to smell it knowing I dont own any product that would just sit on her hair like that.

Her and I talked about it again and she says she really didnt know it was the relaxer it said Olive Oil and she just thought it was the Olive Oil Grease I occasionally use for her... Not sure what to believe.

Nonetheless, you guys are right, 1)Thank God it didnt get in her eyes and thank God my 2yo didnt decide to follow suit... God is good and our protector when I've failed. 2)You all are right when you say i need to put those products up... that is totally an oversight and negligence on my part. I will make myself a box and keep those products in them in the top of my closet.

Denver, I thought about you too, I was so upset and i wanted to call you but I dont have your number in my phone anymore... You are so right about the image we protray to our little ones.. most want to be just like mommy! And she sees my hair straight and wants the same. I'll be sure to reinforce the blessing shes gotten in her hair and teach her to love it both curly and straight.

Thanks everyone!!

 

[Dark&Lovley]

Well I think u handled her hair well after the fact

Because I was going to say put neutralizer on the hair because
the neutralizerstops the action of any chemical relaxer that may remain in the hair after rinsing.


But it looks like u already covered this base.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Whew, I'm glad she's OK. I'm glad you handled it in time.

 

[Supergirl]

I just want to echo what I've heard some members say in the past which is no one *has to* have a relaxer. (I noticed in the original post where the OP told her daughter she may not ever *have to* have a relaxer)

 

[Mook's hair]

I'm glad it didn't damage her scalp or skin. That's a relief.
And I'm glad you found out on day 2. Imagine if she did this for a week. (sheesh) Thank God it was only 2 incidents worth 2 tablespoons.


Also, since it was the lye version, that tends to not make the hair as straight as the no lye. Can you see a big texture difference in the places where she applied it?

Just know that hair is very resilient and it will be OK. I'm glad no major harm was done.

 

[Irresistible]

in this instance its a blessing she was only 7 and had no clue how to get it all throughout her hair

 

[jujufireal]

Please talk to her so in the future this does not happen again. Lock all causative agent in a cupboard.Make sure t check her scalp for any irritation or bruising. I am sorry to hear this.

 

[Shell4624]

Hey Ladies I just wanted to say thanks to all for the advise and calming words you guys provided during my state of panic. So far so good my daughters hair hasn't really showed any signs of breakage.. I moisturize her every evening and put protien con in her hair a few times. I'll keep up the routine since it seems to be keeping things stable at the moment.



I also wanted to apologize for my statement regarding "needing" a relaxer. My bad, I really didnt mean that in any negative way at all. I do realize after re-reading it and saying that to my daughter that in a way I implied there are those who "need" relaxers when that clearly is not true. Sorry sisters! Again thanks for everything!

 

[hrtbndr21]

Kind of OT but related. I don't know about ORS but the home relaxers I used to use had to have that liquid activator stuff mixed in to work or is that only for no lye?

Oh well OP I'm glad hear that things didn't turn out too badly.

 

[tbaby_8]

Make sure you neutralize her really good. Leave it on for a few minutes to be sure that the relaxer isn't still processing. Then do a series of protein and moisture treatments after you look and assess what she has done and then go from their. Also, check her scalp to make sure there is no damage done their too. If there is damage, then go see a doctor.