Discussion in 'Hair Care Tips & Product Review Discussion' started by ElevatedEnergy, Oct 6, 2016.
lol girl bye! Ya girl over here strugglin with this hair ..but I'll take the compliment
I completely understand.
Make no mistake, if I had someone writing or recording a memoir on how I’ve been doing these past months, concerning my hair, they’d burn whatever information they found. I’ve been all over the place with my hair
LOL, chiiile. I be slipping up with the most basic things. Now if somebody were watching me, they would probably be like "and she got the nerve to be posting on a hair forum too, knowing dang well she ain't been sleeping with nan satin bonnet!" lol
But hey, we got this!
Angry doesn’t even begin to come close in explaining how I feel.
My mom is just straight up heavy handed, and doesn’t comprehend hair care or being gentle at all. she doesn’t seem to take interest in learning either so I’m really not one to go back and forth with her.
I told her to be gentle, and I told her if she finds any tangles to stop and let me untangle them. She was up to the task even if it took a bit longer. Or so it seemed.
But I asked for some simple cornrows for 4th of July, and the couple of days I work until Sunday and then I was going to take them down. I just wanted four. I made it TOO easy for her. I washed my hair, detangled and separated most of the shed hairs, and sectioned my hair going from my forehead on back into four. All she had to was gently cornrow the hair on back.
I gave her no combs or brushes or anything because she rakes through hair when she has utensils.
All I heard was snapping. She was pulling too hard for my comfort. And it took 35 mins for her to finish ONE because I kept yelling and explaining that she’s being unnecessarily rough and she’s rushing. Braiding fast doesn’t mean squat to me. Braiding gently and efficiently is what I’m after. She already knows that my hair is something I don’t play around with when it comes to growing.
She got through one, and this is how much hair she managed to break off just using her hands:
via Imgflip Meme Generator
That was one section. ONE SECTION. Imagine if I sat there for her to do my entire head. A small portion of that hair is shed hair, but the majority of them are broken ones that she snapped from waaaaaaaay up near my roots, so she was breaking off some of my longest pieces. (And I sat there and looked through all those hairs I collected). She straight up shredded the last inch or so worth of hair on my longest ends. And guess where they are? Yupp. In the middle. Where she tried to do the first cornrow.
I just got up and left. She found it funny that I was “overreacting”, but she has maybe 2-3 inches of hair that she keeps short just so her braids have something to anchor themselves too. Other than that she mostly cuts all of her hair off to keep it short. It’s obviously no struggle for her. I have almost 3 feet worth of my own hair, and she truly hasn’t put one and two together to realize that I got it that long by being unbelievably GENTLE.
She’s convinced that our hair type is somehow indestructible. She’s irritatingly mistaken because our hair is actually one of the most delicate types there are. “I just wanna get in there and comb it really well”. News flash Mom, you can “comb” it all you like, the comb will not, nor will it ever just gline straight through my hair. Which is why I didn’t give her a comb to begin with, and yet with her hands, she still managed to lawn mow my hair.
“I used to do your hair all the time when you were younger”. Yea and it never grew past my armpits. Coincidence? Not by a long shot.
So I had to dust off the remaining bits of somewhat uneven hair. Technically giving me my first “trim” in years. Which In total has taken away 2 inches. 2. Whole. Inches. Which has put me back at 31 inches.
SHE STRAIGHT UP TOOK OFF AN INCH OF MY LONGEST LAYERS OF HAIR!!!
I blame myself. But I legit thought my mom would’ve listened to me. The last time I had her cornrow my hair it was not this difficult and she was no where near as rough, and I actually let her use a brush. Yepp. A full on BRUSH.
If you don’t care, that’s fine. Just tell me so I can make sure not to make this mistake anymore.
I’m so upset. I don’t even want to pop fireworks anymore.
Yes ma'am, I don't let anyone in my head anymore. My mom offered to help me last month and I politely declined her offer.
I tried to give her the benefit of my own doubt but that’s what I get. I’ll get those couple of inches back, but still....
Craaap!!! I feel your agony even in my toes!! I wouldn't be able to sleep for a few nights if this happened to me. This was an actually dream I had of my grandmother doing this to me. I heard the hairs popping as she harshly grabbed my hair while I sat between her legs. I woke up so relieved to still be asleep in my bed. What a horrible dream. But yours isn't a dream, . I'm wishing you fast hair growth this season.
I’ve decided to not let it get to me that much. But believe me stuff like this can easily keep me up at night.
But if I want a protective style I will personally sit there myself and struggle for however long it takes until I get it decent looking. Maybe it was a message to start teaching myself how to cornrow. I’ve never been able to cornrow and I feel like that’s one of the main protective styles everyone can do lol.
I’ll just Bun for the rest of the week, and probably do box braids again, since they looked pretty nice for it being done by myself.
I used to have dreams of my hair being cut and whatnot too. I wake up frustrated lol.
Good, you're not letting it get you too too down. I can corn row really well, but not on my own head. I will also keep trying...no I won't. It won't work lol. You'll Keep on pressing on to those 40 inches and you'll make it.
I just wanted to peep in and tell all the ladies THANK YOU for the frozen produce suggestions!
The vertigo is GONE! I've been going smoothie crazy for the past few days, and eating the frozen veggies and drinking my water. I see my skin trying to make a comeback, and my nails.
Now I'm just waiting for my hair to come back. I teared up while doing my wash n go the other day. Omg it looks so stringy! I am trying my best to not look at it.
Awww, I know *pats your back*. Keep asking for healthy hair and you will receive.
That's great news about your skin and nails! Eve's vitamins are great too! They're by the brand called NOW. Look at the reviews. Good to see you posting
What is your current hair routine? My hair looked like this right before it broke off severly. It started off with the middle slowly disappearing like this, then the rest followed.
I typically spray my roots only with diluted shampoo every 3-5 days, and then follow with either just a condition rinse, or DC of my choice, or protein treatment, rinse, leave ins, all that Jazz.
Or I opt to co-wash maybe 2-3 times a week in replace of shampoo. Just depends on how I feel.
The first picture is what my hair looks like wet. I speculated it’s probably having to do with the hairs still being stuck together. The second one is what it looks like dry. Pretty much no gaps or anything, except for taper, which is normal.
It doesn’t really have anything to do with my regimen, so much as manipulation. That’s what’s been causing some breakage in the back. While it isn’t completely noticeable when dry, it’s noticeable when wet, which I’ve just chalked up to needing to be more careful. I’ve also noticed I can’t particularly reach my crown area that well, let alone see it. And sometimes when I would be detangling, I’d pull my hair in weird directions because I can’t really see what’s going on back there versus the sides where I can move my head however I need to. I’ve also noticed that repeatedly parting my hair straight down the middle in the same spot causes a lot of sensitivity in that area. So whenever i section my hair I do it horizontally, more upwards towards where my ears are.
I just can’t really use any combs or brushes, and for the earlier half of this year I was detangling it of the shower using a wide tooth comb, and my hair just doesn’t hold up well with utensils. So I only run a comb through my hair under running water in the shower, and once I get out I just let it air dry and detangle a bit, and leave it alone.
My hair looked the same way wet, then it would dry and look filled in. I asked your regimen because I wanted to know how often you were manipulating it. For me, I was co-washing a couple times a week which I honestly feel like lead to breakage. I also was parting it down the middle constantly when combing it, which lead to a sensitive area in the back. I would just suggest finding the source of breakage and giving it major TLC. What helped me was separating it from the rest of my hair when I was combing/detangling or moisturizing to give it special attention and slapping extra conditioner on it when DC'ing.
Wow, I am so sorry. I'm getting horrible flashbacks just reading this story. My mom is the same exact way. The last time I let her do my relaxer I went from BSL to armpit length with no scissors. She has no concept of being gentle at all.
When I stated manipulation, it’s not so much anything to do with washing frequency or products. As long as I use my hands, and detangle with the flow of water, I can co-wash or deep condition however much I wish, so long as I keep an even ratio of moisture to protein. I don’t use the comb in the shower every time. Maybe 1-2 times a week to remove shed hairs. Every other time I just let the water get the majority of shed hairs, and massage my scalp a bit, rinse, and air dry.
It’s to do with the utensils. As trying to detangle once I’m out of the shower. As previously mentioned. Once out of the shower, I just don’t use any combs or brushes, or make any parts. Occasionally I’ll make a part to apply DC, but I make it a point not to part my hair but maybe 1-2times every couple of weeks. If I’m applying DC I’ll just massage it everywhere and into the roots as a whole. No parting. It’s been a while since I’ve revised the manipulation frequency.
This is what my hair was looking like towards the beginning of January/February of this year:
via Imgflip Meme Generator
So it’s slowly coming along. I just was worried as to where the progress was going as of late.
I suspect it’s mostly to do with my hair diameter. It’s very very fine, and just doesn’t do well with hair tools.
@PlanetCybertron im sorry to hear about your hair! That's literally why I refuse to let anyone lay hands on my head...ppl don't care unless it is on THEM. Im sure your hair will bounce back in no time!
Meanwhile, I managed to get some Nature's Bounty HSN (I love that brand), and some iron tablets. Along with that, the fruits and veggies everyday, the water intake, the JBCO every 1-2 times a week... Im going back to co-washing EVERY.DAY. like I used to back in the day. My hair growth exploded when I co-washed everyday, and then shampoo/deep condition on the weekend.
Plus, I give myself a good scalp massage when I do...so Im going to do this every single day until it gets "cold" here in Florida.
My goal is for my longer strands to reach at least an inch past HL, right now its right at HL...and of course for my thickness to come back. Im suited up! All systems go!
@PlanetCybertron Did you comb your hair the same way to take those wet vs dry photos?
As in going towards the back?
I don’t really understand the question
I am admiring your growth!
I try not to point out all the flaws I see. Sometimes I contemplate chopping well over 12 inches off, but then I see how far I’ve come, and how much easier it would be to slowly the trim the ends. That way It won’t cause too big of an emotional hurricane, and I end up regretting it.
Don't mind the flaws just keep doing what you do! Don't split your hair in the back if you do that.
NO! To 12" chop!
Yeah. I was wondering if maybe your nape is shorter than the rest of your hair, which if you combed your hair all back in the wet photo and not in the dry one, the nape's shortness vs the rest of your hair could create that thinning effect at the ends. It seems like maybe in the dry photo some of your hair in the front is not combed back? Or is that a headband your wearing?
Yeah, I agree. You have to figure out what the issue is first before cutting anything, and address it or it might just happen again. As long as your ends are not split, you shouldn't cut yet. We gotta figure out what's going on. And with regards to cutting 12 inches off at once... do not do it!!
Ahh I see.
On the contrary, my nape is actually the longest.
In The dry picture, that hair you’re seeing that’s a bit raised at the top, is actually my bangs. I put them forward, but they’re not that long. Maybe to my nose. They don’t really add much.
But in both pictures all my hair is combed back. But that’s a definitely a good point. I think it also has something to do with my new growth.
I’ve noticed the more new growth I have, the more my hair will start to clump all the way down to the ends. The coily parts that are clumped, start to gather their little bits of hair, and I think after a wash it makes that separated look more pronounced versus when it’s dry and my roots are all fluffed out so the hair can lay evenly.
Maybe that’s a contributing factor too?
I won’t lol.
To add, I do think it’s about time for me to start trimming. Let along regularly.
I haven’t the slightest i sea how to do a proper self trim, which is why I’ve put it off for so long, but I think ultimately, my hemline could do with some brushing up maybe 2-3 times a month. More than likely by the end of this year I’ll at least take off 2 inches.
Do you mean 2-3 times a year? I think you would end up taking off more than 2 inches a year if you actually mean 2-3 times per month. Btw, I think 2 inches is a great goal for a year. Most people trim 1-2 inches per year if they get a trim every 4 months or so.
Oh so you're relaxed! Okay. And that bangs part makes sense. It could be anemia. Sisterwithrealhair had ends that looked kind of like that when she was anemic. Have you gotten bloodwork?
Yes I meant year lol. Breaking it up into 1/2 inch trims would probably do me well too.